New Year's Eve

So 2010 is coming to an end. It has been quite a year. Ups and downs. The best part is seeing all the magic of Audrie. Every day has been something new and exciting. She is almost walking. She pulls herself to standing without holding onto anything and takes a step or two. She'll be running soon.
Dave completed another round of treatment for his alcoholism. Has a different attitude this time. Part of that comes from having the full-time responsibility of Audrie. Myk spent most of the year incarcerated. Forced him to be clean for a period of time. Time will tell if he can maintain that when he is released late winter. Cassie is mostly in the wind. She sees Audrie about once a month. Guess that works. I'd rather her not be around if she continues to use drugs and that is the choice she makes.
Looking forward to 2011. I'm working on patience and getting ready for Myk's release. Trying to psyche myself up to not enable him. Psyching myself up to let my children make their own mistakes and learn their hard life lessons. It is one of those things I have no control over anyway so trying not to fret about it. And of course the magic of Audrie continues.

Tree is Down

Okay so I quit slacking long enough to dismantle the tree and take it outside. It was really very dry and needed to go. It was actually drooping. Guess that means the holidays are over. Now on to Rush Week.
Long hours next week. Wonder who I will get to see this time. I have noticed that I don't see as many people as I used to that I know. Wonder why.
Doug made it home safe and sound.
Made black bean soup tonight with the last of the ham. Tanya and the girls came over and helped us eat it. It was very good.
Minnie says I am still a slacker since I forgot the dog cookies when I was at the store. Story of my life.

Slacking

Boy. My tree is still up and full of ornaments. At my house the tree usually comes down the day after Christmas. I am just slacking. I bought a new tote to use as a toy box. Our toy supply grew with the gifts given for the holiday. The toys are still strewn around. I am just slacking. And then to top it all off....Minnie has informed me that she is out of dog cookies. Now I'm really slacking.

Holiday

So Christmas came and went. We had Doug and the furkids here. It was really nice to be able to visit with him. Audrie got to see her mom for a couple of hours. I'm not really sure how spending time with Audrie for the holidays became two hours, but it did. We did our present thing Christmas morning. When Audrie no longer showed interest we just let her play with the boxes and paper. So she actually still has four presents to open. Doug and I went up to McNeil Island to visit with Myk Christmas Eve. That left Dave home with the troop to feed and the movie to watch. I kind of liked actually having Doug all to myself for a bit. We didn't have time before that to actually talk and Christmas is always too hectic for meaningful conversation.

Tree

So the tree is up. Dave, Audrie and I walked around the yard yesterday and choose the tree. We picked a skimpy tree because it needed to come out...it was crowding another bigger tree that will grow to be a BIG tree. Dave brought it in and we let it dry overnight. Today Dave helped me trim it. Dave calls it a "Charlie Brown" tree, but it will do just fine.

New Place

My friend Treva (Audrie's aunt) commented on her 14 year-old doing something without any thought or regard to her parents feelings/opinions and then told her that she didn't count. It was very hurtful to Treva, but some behavior that you might expect from a teenager testing boundaries. That kind of thing doesn't feel any better when it comes from an adult child. It isn't the doing of something that causes the hurt. It is the saying you don't count and your opinion means nothing. We all do what we want to do within the confines of our lives, but hopefully we listen once in awhile.
If I offer my opinion or unsolicited advice to one of our children, I am not doing it to be mean or rub faces in anything. I do it out of genuine love and concern for them. Some of that advice just comes from life experience. I know that all of our children absolutely have to learn things the hard way. And I know that I have to let them, no matter how much grief could be saved if they might heed advice. Sometimes in the advice there might be a nugget of truth that they do take to heart and make the lesson not quite so hard.
As parents we give our opinions and advice all the time. It shows we care. We aren't playing games. We aren't undermining anything.
So here I am in this new place where my opinion doesn't matter. Trying to figure out what that means exactly. Trying to figure out how that changes the relationship and where it goes from here. Trying to get past the pain that it causes and the total disregard of it. It's not the kind of relationship I thought we had, but I guess it is.
And if this is read I will probably hear "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings", but yes that was the intention because we do what we want to do within the confines of our life. If you don't want to think about how that action is going to affect everybody else then you hurt feelings to keep them from telling you about it.
And let me tell you it is hard not to offer up opinions. I have opinions on everything.

Dave is Good

Dave had his back surgery this week. He had disc replacement in his neck. He was uncomfortable the first day, but is doing well. He says the numbness/fire in his hands and arms is completely gone. That means the surgery is a success even if he still has a little pain in his back. And that may be gone when he finishes healing.
Tomorrow he travels back to Quebec which is where he will be spending the majority of the next couple of months.