Making Progress

Having a little bit of time before our move is helpful.  I have managed to clean out two closets.  The linen closet is looking especially empty.  Ha.  It wasn't ever for linen. I used it as an extra pantry.  I keep pulling out small clothes for the good will.  Hence our drop off yesterday.  I'm just picking stuff out a little quicker now.  They both have more than enough clothes that I could get rid of over half of it and they would never feel it.
The little man wanted to know if we were going to move everything in the car.  I told him the bed wouldn't fit in the car.  He just about panicked and wanted to know how we would take the bed.  I told him we could rent a u-haul.  He informed me that Uncle Pat has a truck.  And so he does.  And how fitting since Pat moved the beds last time.
This time there isn't much more furniture moving than last time. It is a matter of what we need.  Definitely not getting a storage unit.  We will take what we need and dispose of the rest.
I really wish moving day was today.  But it is not.  It is not worth what it would cost.  And so we keep purging and packing and moving as we go.

And It Is

While Dave's place is completely neglected the Grandpa tree is still in all it's glory. Never ceases to amaze me as to how beautiful it is in the fall.  Almost makes me wish I had offered to buy the place.  And I could have, but I don't want all my eggs in one basket and they would have been to do that. And after everything that transpired and the things I found out I'm glad to make a fresh start.  But I do still so love that house and yard and probably always will.
The little man and I ran some errands.  Hit the food bank and the good will making donations.  Came home and had a good nap.
Then lo and behold I found the envelop from Erin that I thought was long gone.  I have looked and looked.  I have no idea where it came from but it was right under my bed.  And the Subway gift card was still in it.  Amazed.  Then when the mail came there was a check.  There is something to be said for karma just for the sake of good.  I don't donate to get back from the universe.  I donate to help others and not  be wasteful.  It is part of my frugal nature. But I am always accepting of what the universe gives me.  And always grateful.

Breathing Room

Amazing.  The little man and I went grocery shopping today.  It was so easy.  One child is so much nicer than two in the grocery store.  And he behaved the whole time.  Sat in the cart and didn't want to touch everything.  And it was cheaper.
After the little woman got home we went to Grammy's and finished our work there.  Mowed the lawn.  Set up her pill minders and paid some bills.  Whew.  All done.  Again.  For the week.  .
I think I am liking this kindergarten.  It is giving me breathing room.  And just think....only two more years and I will have a little more breathing room.  I have enjoyed all the time till now and now I am enjoying this time.

Doing Art

The little woman has been asking to paint.  So today we finally broke out the brushes and the paint and set about doing that.  It kept them amused for almost an hour.  You can see that they each have their own particular painting style, but they both seem to like mixing all the colors together and making a reddy mud color.  Art; it is good for the soul.

It's Time

When Mike came back to Clark County he had a plan.  Or at least he said he did.  He intended to find a temp job, celebrate Audrie's birthday and possibly his own if time allowed, help us move and then he was going to turn himself in on his warrant that he has had here for a couple of years.
And the very first thing that happened is my creepy neighbor upstairs who deals drugs was waiting outside, as if he knew when Mike would return.  And so it began.  Just a Xanax to get past the cravings.  And a Xanax doesn't make anyone high.  Yeah right...
As long as we had family outings planned he was fine and participated.  And then when we didn't he got all rolled up in the quest for drugs.  I'm not sure it is just the drugs he craves.  I think it is the whole ball of wax.  The things he does to get the money to buy the drugs, the secrecy and fear of getting caught buying the drugs and then the drugs themselves.  For that matter he might even like the coming down and starting all over.  Me, I don't like any of it and we lived through two sets this time and was at a point of making bigger boundaries.
Now obviously Mike didn't give any of my boundaries a second thought.  They did not mean anything to him.  He fell into old patterns and I did too.  But I was at a point of calling the cops and turning him in on that warrant.  If he wouldn't leave voluntarily then he was going by another means.
But I hadn't yet.
So we had to get some milk....we have went through so much milk this month it is annoying...and so we drove over to Walmart.  The littles and I picked up the milk and few other things and Mike went off to look at something else......Turns out he looked at a bb pistol, co2 cartridges, bb's and then pocketed them.  We finished our shopping and we all returned home.
And about forty five minutes later here comes the cops.  Mike was on videotape stealing those things and he was followed out to the car and my plate was ran.  The cops talked to me in the parking lot.  Didn't tell me anything that surprised me.  And then they ran his name.  Turns out there a couple of warrants and away he went.  I'm happy.  He is again given the opportunity to assess his life and choices. He will be in jail long enough to get clean and start thinking straight.  He is safe and he is out of my house.  If I would have known it was this easy I would have taken him to Walmart a week ago.
It is always amazing to me how easy it is to fall into old patterns.  I had told Mike when he was in Wenatchee that I did not have any more energy to deal with someone using.  My plate is completely full and getting fuller all the time and that is so way beyond me.  Well I was wrong.  I did have to deal with him.  And it always amazes me how he has no qualms about using any of us when he is in drug mode.  But I always hold out hope that the next time will be the one when he figures it out.
Elizabeth asked if I thought he would ever stop and I told her yes, one way or another.  We just hope it is him deciding he wants something different and better.  But it is all up to him.

Interesting

So I got email today from the tax software to recover my password.  Only thing is I sure didn't request any such thing.  Very interesting.  Who do you suppose it trying to access my records?

Boy Day

Today was our first day where I didn't have to work on a kindergarten day.  So the little man and I had the morning to ourselves.  So after a little housework we headed off to Great Clips to get his hair cut.  He was greatly in need.  It always amazes me how it looks fine, looks fine, looks fine, looks like crap.  It is lovely to see his handsome face again and not be distracted by the shaggy hair.
Then we hit up the grocery store for some Phoebe food for Grammy.  Grabbed her a few snacks while we were at it.  Then home and lunch and waiting at the bus stop for Sissy. It was a good morning.

Playing At the Park

We were invited to the park for some play.  Grayson was there riding his bike so the boys played.  Then when Grayson had to leave my little man made a new friend.  Her name is Amelia.  I had the pleasure of a conversation with her Papa and he was a fascinating man.  It sounded like their household is three generations.  Amelia was spectacular.  She made up songs and is very athletic.  A good match for the little man.  Naturally Audrie spent most of her time on the tire swing.  It is definitely her favorite.

Dakota

So the neighbor has a cat that looks similar to Mica and her name is Dakota.  Audrie caught her yesterday and brought her in.  And after awhile I made Audrie put her out.  She is not our cat and has a home.
This morning I took my shower and when I went in my room there was the cat on my bed.  Freaked me out a tad as I'm not used to having a cat on my bed.  So I put her outside even though she didn't want to go.  Then when I had to go out to the car she came back in and hid.  Smart cat.
This afternoon I asked the neighbor if her cat came home and told her I thought she was in my house.  Mike had actually caught her and put her out again.
The funny part about this story is they keep telling me how unfriendly this cat is, that she scratches and runs away.  And yet Audrie, Mike and I all caught her and none of us got scratched.  Now we are all waiting to see if she turns back up.  I'm betting she does.

LMAO

It is the first week of the quarter and we are doing bag check and security.  I came back from break and relieved Belinda.  I'm lifting backpacks and trying to keep people moving.  I look up just in time to see Kristie trying to hurry with her backpack and get away before I saw her.  It was hilarious watching her act like she didn't know I was there.
Guess she shows her true colors also.  My guess is she knows she was wrong and she knows Doug is wrong, but can never admit that.  Too bad for her.  I just found it amusing.

And Then We Were Home

After breakfast we packed up and headed for home.  Pat wanted to run up to Long Beach for a minute so we parted ways.  We decided we wanted Arby's.  After we were back on the freeway I was thinking it would be funny to meet up with Pat and then there he was coming on the on ramp.  Too funny.
Audrie's bike tire kept going flat.  So I got a new tube.  When Pat came to pick up the bikes I realized that her tire was actually shot. The tire itself had a big hole in it.  So we borrowed the neighbor's bike which has been sitting around all over the complex all summer.  I tried to ask but no one was home when we were leaving.
So today I let him know we had borrowed it. No problem.  Then he gave me the bike.  Well how cool is that?  His daughter has a nice cool new one and doesn't ride this one.  Saved me.  Because Audrie's bike really isn't worth putting any money into.  The seat is falling apart.  It really didn't hold up well.  So now she has a bigger girl bike than she had.  And I'm grateful.
It will feel good to sleep in my bed.  It was a great family weekend making memories and that is all it is all about.  Spending time together and creating a strong family bond.

Cape Disappointment

The poor little man got sick.  Threw up a couple of times during the night.  We spent a quiet morning waiting to see if he would continue on being sick or feel better.  Mostly he felt better so we went and spent time on the beach.  We got to see the light house close up.  The littles couldn't go up though as there is an age limit of older than 7.
Pat and Mike spent a good part of the day fishing.  Pat caught another salmon which will be smoked liked the last one.
We bbqed and relaxed.  The kids rode bikes with some other kids in another yurt.  Makes us realize how much they need some cousins or something.  Here is hoping that their world expands when they are both in school.
The day ended much better than it began. The little man had a good time even though you could tell he wasn't totally up to par all day.  But then neither were the rest of us with the little sleep we got.

Yurts

It's been planned since last year.  The reservation has been made since March.  We have the whole weekend at Cape Disappointment in a yurt.  We so enjoyed last year that we decided to do it again and this time Pat joined us.
We discovered that we are camped really close to the beach.  Got to like that.  Next year we try for closer.  We ordered a pizza from the pizza place.  Expensive for what it was.  We weren't overly impressed but it served its purpose.
Mike got to set up the little tent and be the outside sleeper.

Rental House Dilemma

Oy.  I keep going back and forth on the rental house.  Should I sell it?  And to do that is costly...needs a new roof.  And one side of the fence needs replacing.  If I keep it...the roof needs replacing and one side of the fence needs replacing.
I did raise the rent earlier in the year.  But not enough.  The IRS expects me to charge the going rate.  The problem is the going rate has skyrocketed which means my returns could get targeted that much easier.  Oy.
The manager here at our complex just told me that our units are now going to $895 which is $70 more than I expected.  My rent already was going to take a nearly $100 jump.  I was talking with co-workers who are paying $1000 to $1500 for apartments.
So my next option is to put the house with a management company and let them deal with getting closer to the rent that it should be getting.  Me, I'm too soft-hearted.  It's back to that never do business with friends thing.  If I had ran it as a business all along there would not be a big back rent owing and it would be at a current market rate.
It's not like I have to decide today but I do think I need to do something.

Beautiful

The little woman came inside to tell me something and she kind of glowed. There was something different. We went outside and I realized she had make up on.  When I asked she told me not anymore.  Most of it had gotten wiped off.  But there was still enough on that you could see the beautiful woman she will be.  Her freckles still showed but they were less pronounced and her eyes popped with mascara.  I have always said she is going to spend a fortune on mascara when she is older.  Her eyelashes, while exquisite, are the same color as her hair.
Zaysha had made her up and did a wonderful job.  Bianca thought she shouldn't have done it because little girls shouldn't wear make-up.  I agree.  But that doesn't mean that I think big girls should not make up little girls.  It's play and learning.  My little woman isn't going to get up tomorrow and start wearing make-up to kindergarten.
I liked having a glimpse of what may come to be some day.  And she is beautiful with or without make-up.

Broken Souls

Seems to be the subject at hand lately.  Family drama.  Every family is dysfunctional.  Every family has issues and drama.  Every family is touched by some damaging thing be it alcohol, drugs, abuse.
Luckily a lot of us are able to get past whatever it was.  We grow, we go to therapy, we live.
For a long time I have called it holes in souls.  I have watched people try all kind of things to fill it.  Booze, drugs, material objects, reinventing themselves over and over.  I don't believe any of that works.  Just exacerbates the damage.
I don't think any of us are immune.  I know my own particular demon.  And mostly I have dealt with it.  But not completely.  I know that running into the person everyone except me calls my cousin, brings forth that fear I felt when I was eight.  Hiding in a hay barn barely breathing.  I know where I got to be so good at playing hide and seek and shallow breathing so I couldn't be heard.
My mom is reliving a lot of her trials from her youth.  And her mom's.  We know we all do the best we can in the parenting department.  We hope to do better than our parents, but mostly we just do what we can.  We understand a lot of the holes in our family.  We feel sorry for the children that were damaged.  And really it is all of us.  Just different ways.
The proof of the pudding so to speak is how those children handle it when they grow up.  Numbness is not a cure or growth.  Shopping just leaves you broke with a bigger hole in your soul.  Alcohol and drugs also make the hole bigger. Placing blame doesn't cure anything.
That said.....I don't know where my own son's hole came from.  Unless it was just living with an alcoholic father.  And the genetics were there for addiction.
I know where the littles holes are from even though they don't know they have them yet.  Abandonment, loss, an ever shrinking family, addicted parents and a tired Nana.  I'm trying my best not to repeat the mistakes I know I made.  I am trying to find ways to heal those holes now so they hopefully don't have to go through some of the horrible things.  I want them to be responsible for their own behavior and own it.  I want them to be respectable and own it.  I want them to be reliable, dependable,  I want them to be able to grow and not be stagnated in life because they don't know how to ask for help.  Mostly I want them loved, able to love and to be happy.
So for now that is a success.  Let's hope we continue down this path.

A Third

I have figured out a third of my tax dilemma.  I figured out where the IRS got their figure. I still have no way of knowing what I did and if I did it wrong.  I assume I did but I can fix it for a lot less than $10k.  The last third I am never ever going to figure out or be able to fix.  I don't know what Dave did with $15k.  Part of it for sure is legitimate, but I don't have any idea on numbers.  I did not live with him then.
I think it shows me just how far his disease had progressed.

Impromptu Family Dinner

We had an impromptu family dinner tonight.  Pat was camping and fishing again out at Sargent's Island.  I decided to make chili and was going to do it at Mom's.  So we just switched it up and I made chili at camp on a camp stove and he bbqed salmon and potatoes.  His friend Tanya and her son bbqed some hot dogs and we were golden.  The littles had a blast as always playing in the river.
We spent most of the afternoon there and it was so quiet.  We watched the ships and barges go up and down the river.  Just had a relaxing day not worrying about anything.  We only had one booboo and one bee sting.

One More Straw

I have to wonder what the world is trying to tell me.  I got notices from the IRS today that they think the twins' trusts each owe another $10,000 for 2013.  They think I didn't claim over $20000 worth of income.  I don't know how considering the trusts were only worth about $50,000 at that point.
And to add insult to that......those records are at Dave's house and I have been told that all the paperwork I asked for is not there.  I should rephrase that.  They aren't at Dave's house or weren't when he died.  They were in the filing drawer that Doug took.  So they are wherever he put them and then told me they did not exist.
So now I'm just annoyed.  I will have to contact the IRS to find out where they got their info and I think I can get the 1099s from Oakmark.  Good thing Dave only had the money in one place. Oy.
Just one more straw added onto my camel's back.

All Day

I was talking with Jeremiah today.  He lives in BG also and is almost a neighbor.  His children go to Maple Grove school.  That is where the kids will go next year.  When I signed Audrie up at Tukes I commented about it and they asked if I wanted a boundary exception.  I turned it down not knowing how soon moving was for us.  To go to Maple Grove would mean me driving every day.
So Jeremiah tells me that Maple Grove is one of the two or three primary schools in the BG district that has all full day kindergarten.  I wish they would have told me that at Tukes.  I so totally would have taken the boundary exception.
Now I decide if I continue on with the original plan or switch her before she gets completely settled at Tukes.

SNAFU

And it goes on.  Get to day care this morning to find that they expect Audrie on the mornings when I need to leave before the bus.  Hmmm.  Maybe, but not this week.  Then they inform me that according to the state I am not suppose to be bringing the kids to daycare before 10:15 because of my schedule.
Well that is just great.  It felt like the wind out of my sails for a moment.  And then I realize that someone at the state level made a mistake.  When I filled out my schedule I said 9-3 every day and varied, just like always.
So when I got home at 4:40 I called.  Sat on hold until 4:59 and totally expected to be cut off at 5 as the message repeating kept saying they only took calls till 5.  Well mine got answered.  The man looked into it and said...no there is nothing in my file about times I can leave the little man at day care.  I have 18 full time days for him no matter when I start.  I just can't go over ten hours and obviously I don't leave him for ten hours when I work five.
Audrie is half days and he explained how that works.  She is given extra half days to make up for those inservice days or when I need to drop her before school.  So it's all good.  And I do not need to leave her at day care if I have another arrangement on the early days.  It's all good.
Whew.  Just another go around.  Nothing new about that.

Sad

Well Mike said that Tanya does have Dave's car.  So hey....Doug actually took care of one thing.  Wonder if he called the insurance agent and got the insurance taken off.  ;p
It made me sad.  Sad to be reminded.  Sad that Tanya thinks it is a great thing......now granted she no longer is in a place of having choices.  But that car is 15 years old and already having many issues.  But it will be her baby to take care of now.  Hope Doug isn't going to mind being called on to help her.  It is going to break down.  A lot.
And then just because I have this funny place....I would love to be a fly in the car when the seat quits working.   Likes to short out and not move forward or backwards.  Especially when it is in the back position for a person with long legs.  Ask me how I know.

Of Course

"Are you going to miss me when I'm gone?"  Of course.  My mom asked that question while we were grocery shopping.  One of those things on her mind.  I reminded her that she is my longest relationship.  Sometimes you get a longer relationship with a spouse, but I didn't.
She is feeling the affects of the dementia more and more.  Calls herself a snowball rolling down a slippery slope and going faster.  I don't know if that is true or not, but it is what she feels.
So again we are blessed every day that her brain works as well as it does.  I notice the changes and how things aren't quite as she makes them.  It is what it is and we take it one day at a time.  And we are blessed.

Family Dinner II

We were sitting at the table eating dinner and the little man asks "Is this family dinner?"  Well yes, yes it is.  For the second night in a row.
We got a late start because Pat was still fishing.  He caught the fish yesterday and we were going to bbq up a piece of it tonight.  He finally got there after catching another fish and cleaning it. We got it all iced down and then cooked the fish for dinner.
I already had everything else ready.  Then I put some lemon, salt, pepper, garlic and olive oil on the fish.  It was so good.  Love fresh fish.  Mom decided she only likes salmon from a can.  Well so be it. You have to laugh at all the changes and the way her brain thinks now.
We had a lovely meal and enjoyed being together.  So yes it was another family dinner finishing off our weekend.  And the fish he caught today is hopefully going to be smoked.  Yum.

Family Dinner

It was family dinner night.  Pat was camping out at Sargent's Island.  So we just moved dinner there.  Mom opted out.  She was too tired after our afternoon trip out for lunch and groceries.  We brought corn on the cob and the fixins for burgers.
When we got there Pat was out fishing in the river along with several other people.  They had caught the limit by the time we were done.  Pat's fish was filleted by a guy named Andy who was down there.  I thought that was pretty decent of him. We don't know how to fillet a fish.  I watched the process, but am not confident in being able to duplicate it.  Guess what is on for dinner tomorrow night?
Pat bbqed up our corn, burgers and dogs.  The littles were happy to get soda.  I told them they only get it on special occasions such as camping.
We had a lovely evening.  Mom called to check in and is now concerned about how we are going to cook that fish.  Well on the grill of course.  ;)

A Long Drive

We made the long drive to Wenatchee and back again.  Last one.  Mike has completed his probation in Chelan county and was allowed to come home.  And so he did.
We drove up on Friday after work/school.  Spent the night with Mike's friend Amber in Wenatchee.  Met her kids and some friends and then fell fast asleep on her couch.
We left somewhat early this morning and finally got home at 3 this afternoon.  We had breezed through 90 and 97 but man what a mess when we hit I-5.  Stop and go from getting on north of Tacoma all the way down to Olympia.  Then we finished breezing home.
Some noticings.  There are a lot of dead trees in the forest going up Blewett Pass.  I kept thinking about the fires and if one would have started there.
We saw a herd of bison on the way back.  Big black animals.  Seemed rather weird.
They are picking apples in Wenatchee so we stopped at a fruit stand and got some fresh galas for 70 cents a pound.  Yeehaw.  The kids ate four of them before we got home.

Kindergarten Day One

First day of kindergarten started off smooth.  We were all up and ready when we needed to be.  Audrie met another boy at the bus stop.  After the bus picked them up, I took Connor to day care who informed me that kindergarten was not a regular day.  They would only be there for half an hour.  I told them I would ask when I was there and then I rushed out to the school.
I managed to get there the same time as the bus.  I walked Audrie to her class and asked the teacher.  Nope, it was a real day and she would ride the bus home or to day care. Set it up so she goes to daycare.  And then off to work I went.
Welllllll.....when I got there to pick her up they told me the bus driver was not going to let Audrie stay there because his paperwork shows our address.  Oy.  Anyway Audrie did get to stay at daycare and we definitely need to get this worked out.
Audrie had a fantastic first day.  She loved it.  Smiles from ear to ear if you ask her if she had fun.  And so the school year has begun.  Now to keep her enthusiasm up.

Errand Day

Got up and got the car to the dealership for its oil change.  We had about an hour to kill so we walked around and explored.  Then we hit Value Village and found the little man a fedora hat and he is adorable.  Naturally I have no pictures.
Then we dropped by Clark as I forgot to meet Meghan yesterday.  And then we hit up Ikea.  We wanted to get Jazzlynn some plates.  While there we also got a couple of flashlights that you have to wind.  The kids got a big kick out of them.
And now it is almost bedtime because school nights begin now.