Next Time

Next time Elizabeth gets to ride in the pasture. Jerry, as the teacher, wants to make sure she has good control of the horse before letting her loose in the pasture. That sounds like a good plan to me. Elizabeth can now mount and dismount all on her own. She is learning about saddles and has much more confidence on the horse. She has to wait until week after next week before she gets to ride again.
I think I need to go buy some Eastern Alfalfa hay. Even I am learning about horses.

Fadi

Rush week again. So I'm always looking for amusements. When you do backpacks, faces become familiar. There is this kid who has been coming in for a few quarters. So he is getting his back pack back and some friend of his comes up and says "Hi, Fatty." I look at him and say "He did not just call you that". They got into a long speech about it being his name and off they went. The next day he is back and I say "Hey, Fatty." He smiles and off to the store he goes. When he comes back I ask for his real name because there is no way his mother named him that. I again got the speech about oh yes it is his real name. Now most of this comes from his friends. Then it comes out that his name is Arabic and his friends have changed it a bit. His name is Fadi. The next day I ask for spelling. Fadi starts throwing out letters at me so his friend spells it for me. Now I have a good pronunciation, except his friend is still trying to get me to use Fat instead of the shorter a in Fadi. Fadi seemed to like it that I insist on saying it correctly.
Fadi has a real sense of presence. You just feel he is going to do something great. So Jacob looks up his name and it means savior. I think maybe his mom named him well.

Arena

Nope, Elizabeth was in the arena again today. She did manage to get up on Too Much Power on the first try. So that means she is getting stronger and more confidence. Jerry told her to come back in a week. He wants her on the horse one more time before he goes to AZ to climb down to the Colorado River. Sounds like quite a trip.

Too Short

Two day weekends are just too short. I don't know how people who always only have two days for their weekend get any rest.
Yesterday was the memorial service for my friend Kathi. I drove our group over as the service was in Portland. It was very nice and lasted about an hour. Our group was mentioned a couple of times. Had lunch afterwards. It was kind of interesting seeing the faces for all the names I have been hearing about for the last five years. I think we realized how different our Friday lunches are going to be now.
Today Elizabeth has another date with a horse. Should be an outside ride today so I should get pictures.

Catch Up

We are eating tons of corn, cucumbers and tomatoes. They have done the best in the garden this year. We also harvested all the onions and they look pretty good.

Elizabeth had another horse date with Too Much Power. Unfortunately the pictures turned out bad. Not enough light. Anyway she gained in confidence and found her command voice. She has another date lined up for this weekend and she will be riding in the pasture.

Dang busy at work. Can't get caught up. Getting overwhelmed some days. Rush is next week and after that my schedule changes. I am going to have a set schedule of Mon through Thurs, 8 a.m. to 12 p.m. Now that is always subject to change depending on how busy we are. But I will like getting off earlier in the day.

Cassie is getting bigger. She says Audrie moves around quite a bit. I still haven't seen or felt it, but I talk to her. Myk is still incarcerated taking care of all that old business. He should be all done before the baby comes. And then he'll have it all behind him and can start making realistic goals.

Dave is doing well. He finished up his intense sessions of outpatient. Now he is doing his 16 weeks of once a week. It seems he finally bought into AA and seems to be enjoying that more. Maybe enjoying isn't the right word, but anyway it is a support system for him.

Backwards

It is just one of those days. Dave caught Marseilles on the baby bouncer. Then Adrianna was playing in the cat tunnel. I think we buy cat toys just for her.

In Honor of Kathy

They say death always comes in threes. So earlier this summer I had two uncles die. I wondered who the third would be. Well this weekend the third one came. It was my friend Kathy. We met almost four years ago when I was struggling to deal with all the stress in the situation with Myk. Kathy was dealing with her own stressful situation with a child. And so our friendship formed. She was one of my greatest supporters. She knew when I felt like a failure and always reminded me of my successes. She taught me so much in the last four years about compassion and forgiveness and how to live.
I know that had we met at any other time we may not have become friends. Our mutual striving to be good parents brought us together and kept us together over all our many differences. She was more conservative to my liberalness. But she showed me that she lived her religion and she practiced tolerance. She never once put down my opinions even when we disagreed. I always knew that she cared about me. And I cared about her. I will miss her.

Full Moon Drumming Circle

Elizabeth and I attended our first Full Moon Drumming Circle. We came a bit unprepared and didn't really know what to expect. We could hear the drums for a block before we could see them. Found a place to park and walked to the Mint Tea store. The Mint Tea is an import store/bistro. Outside, in what would be the yard, sat a circle of people playing drums and other percussion instruments. On the sidewalk were some bigger drums. The crowd and players were a mix of every age group. There were professional people and laborers, hippies and yuppies. It didn't take Elizabeth too long to realize we should have brought something to play. So she went in the store and found a little bell. She rang that bell in time to the drums for quite awhile. We were able to pick out the different drums as they were being played. A man was playing the didgeridoo. Our favorite instrument was a cabasa shaker. We both thought that was really cool and one needed to be added to Nana's noise makers for grandkids. Finally it was hunger that drove us to leave. Neither one of us can wait for the next one. Not sure if there will be one in Oct. or whether we have to wait for next summer, but you can bet we'll do it again.

Offended

I knew when I did it that it was going to come back to bite me on the butt. Dave had walked up to me and was in my space and I smelled that fermenting apple smell. Alcohol. So I said "I smell alcohol." Naturally he told me that he had not been drinking and that was that. So he had a one on one counseling session yesterday and he told her about it. Her comment was how long is he going to put up with that. So he is telling me this and I'm confused....put up with what? He said sniffing to see if he was drinking. Whoa. I have taken immediate offense because I feel accused of something I don't do. And I have no idea where his counselor gets the impression that I am like that. Obviously I have no idea what he says to her. Anyway for the record....yes I am co-dependent, but I don't look for it. I asked him what his response was and he said oh he wasn't worried about it.
So I am thinking about this whole thing. I think I was feeling a bit safe and the eggshells are a bit firmer and that is why I said anything the day of smelling. Maybe I was wrong.
Anyway on to the other subject...Dave also watched a movie yesterday in group. Thinks we need to watch this movie at home. All fine. Except..... when he is telling me about this movie I can see him searching for the right words to get me to watch the movie without pissing me off. And he is right.....him telling me how to handle my relationship with Myk pisses me off. And I got the distinct impression that is why he wants us to watch this movie....so WE can quit enabling Myk. He tempers it with I might learn something about his addiction also. He forgets that I have been dealing with his addiction for 25 years and with Myk's for five. I'm willing to watch the movie and learn something, but I'm not willing to be willingly manipulated. Maybe that is where Dave's anger towards me comes from. The anger that he keeps hidden part of the time.
I think I heard an eggshell crack.