Epiphany

Tanya seems to have a need to have a relationship with men who have control issues. None physically that I know of, but emotional can do damage also. That said I have always commented that she didn't get that from me. Her mother has this exact same need and I always blame that relationship for Tanya's needs. So this week I was discussing with my mother red flags that Tanya should be seeing and apparently isn't. I made my usual comment when it struck me that yes she does get some of her behavior from me. There are definitely control issues in an alcoholic household. And my passive/aggressive tendencies never showed her how to make stands and deal with a lot of the issues. I'm so sorry that I didn't give her the tools to have control over her own life and be responsible for it and that makes her think she needs a man to do it. I'm not knocking healthier relationships because I understand the companionship aspect and I wish that for Tanya. I guess I will just have to keep telling her that she is a lot stronger than she thinks she is. And I'm not happy about my epiphany.