Doug and I were talking about family dynamics the other day. Family dynamics in an alcoholic family. So I am a fixer. I have always been a fixer and have to remind myself often that I can't fix it. Well Doug is also a fixer. I've known that for a long time. He was always rescuing his girlfriends from their lives. At least he figured it out that you can't save people. Recently we discovered that Tanya is a fixer also. This family has way too many fixers. But anyway....Tanya wasn't always a fixer in our family so it is a new role for her. According to treatment family members can switch roles often, so it isn't really surprising. Sometimes it is kind of hard to take watching her try and fix things. But we also know we can't fix a fixer, and have to let each one learn that it can't be done.
Watching other families is kind of interesting. The thing I have learned is that families part and come back together. Feelings get hurt and then heal. And sometimes it is over small slights and sometimes over big wrongs. But families are families. It was kind of nice having the conversation with Doug and having a similar point of view. Who knew?
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