Da-Kine's

The littles are spending the night with Papa.  So Pat, Mom and I went out for dinner at Da-Kine's in Orchards.  Hawaiian fare.  It is a tiny hole in the wall.  The waitress was great.  The food was good, especially the yakisoba.  A side of noodles is $1.79.  Wow.  Going to love stopping there sometimes and getting take out noodles.  Pat too.  Mom wasn't as satisfied as we were, but then she wasn't satisfied before we ever stepped into the place.

Again

Well Mike is back in jail.  This time in Chelan  County.  Guess he got pulled over and they found paraphernalia on him.  Funny how nothing is said about his driving without a driver's license.  Anyway he had just gotten kicked out of his place to stay so was homeless.  So here is Mom going well isn't that wonderful...he again has a roof, a bed, three squares and a shower.  Choices made....and I'm so relieved he isn't here.

Living Without Regrets

Love this.

• Take care of your health
• Make time to do the things you love, work less, laugh and play
• Say what you need to say
• Practice mindfulness
• Change your perspective
• Let go of the past
• Accept the things you cannot change
• Stop thinking happiness is a future event
• Stop chasing money and material wealth
• Live authentically
• Take off the mask
• Follow your instincts
• Practice gratitude
• Don’t make your decisions based on fear
• Love, love love!

Gratitude

Everyday I am;
grateful for the roof over our heads,
grateful for the food in our cupboards,
grateful for cuddles and snot kisses,
grateful for our community that supports us,
grateful for our safety nets that we keep building,
grateful for a job that I love,
grateful for my littles.
grateful for siblings and my mom.

Mexico

Dropping the kids off like normal at daycare.  A boy came in and Miss Cindy started asking him about his trip to Mexico.  This boy looked happy and healthy.  I didn't think too much of it at first.  Noticed that he was dropped off by his grandpa.  Got my kids settled and started back out and it struck me.  I knew that grandpa from some place.  Ah.  I would not recognize the boy as he has changed a lot since I was going to CPS for supervised visits with Connor.  Got to be a year and a half ago and they were planning a trip to Mexico.  I'm not sure if this was the trip or if this was another trip, but I watched that man and that boy and that boy's mom for over an hour one day in the lobby.  For whatever reason their time slot had gotten filled and they just had a visit in the lobby.
Here we are all this time later and both of these boys are still living in grandfamilies.  Made me smile to see him doing so well and grandpa looked relaxed also.  Can't say he was so relaxed in 2012, but maybe his situation is similar to mine and he now just has a boy to raise. And maybe it was a vacation in Mexico.

Shorter Days

At least for this week I am back to short days.  All five days, but short days.  At the end of the week and month I will be right at my 69 hour limit.  I love short days.  They go by so quick especially after a week of long days.  And I love reaching the limit.  It is definitely an advantage to fewer of us working.  Does mean we work hard when we have to.
Spring books are coming in and returns are going out.  We are working right through all of it and doing it in a pretty good timely fashion.  I just love my job.

Audrie's New Friend and My Small World

Oh how amusing.  Kind of like psychic shopping.  Last week Brenda and I got talking about languages.  And I commented about someday I am going to ask the security guard if he was from Canada or France.  One day last fall I was out doing cardboard and he was outside on his phone.  I swore he was talking in french.  Fast forward to the conversation with Brenda. She was not surprised that I intend to just ask this man this very nosy question. I then said I might introduce myself first, but maybe not.  I just happened to be curious about everything.
So today Audrie met Aubrie who lives two apartments down.  Turns out she has been here since Dec., but we just never knew.  I had seen her mother many times out smoking but never a kid.  It is just timing.  Bria, Aubrie's mom is taking a french class and we got talking about languages.  Well turns out she used to date and live with this security guard from Clark who is Italian.  Duh.  So I had my answer to my nosy question without ever asking it.  Small world connections all over the place.
An aside...I love that there is another girl in the complex about Audrie's age for her to play with.  Today they painted and played dress up.  Wow.  And Aubrie is going to teach Audrie so much and she is six months younger or so.  And I really like Bria.  Maybe we both got a new friend.

"Good Night Moon"

Audrie and I attended the play "Good Night Moon" put on at the Northwest Children's Theater.  She borrowed a dress from the new neighbor girl and she was ready to go.  She loved it.  Sat still through the whole thing.  Couldn't help but make comments though.  No one seemed to mind as she was not the only one.  The play was great and made the book come to life.  The girl with the purple hair was Audrie's favorite.  Maybe it was the purple hair, but either way Audrie wanted her picture taken with her.

JJ Jump

My friend Marti from work invited us to go to JJ Jump and play.  We coordinated out schedules and tonight was the night.  The littles were completely worked up by the time open jump started.  We went in and they were gone before we even had them paid for.
JJ Jump is in a warehouse.  Inside there are six bounce stations set up.  A couple had slide features.  So both kids were up and down and and up and down.  There was also a play station with toys and that is where Connor would do his resting.  If you can call taking a car from the play station and running it all over the warehouse.
I believe that Connor is now in love with Marti and considers her his new best friend.  Every time he got a boo boo he only wanted Marti.  And every time he came over to where we were sitting he only wanted Marti.
We had a great time.  Thanks for the invite Marti.

Big Kid

Audrie is spending the night at Papa's house.  So Nana and Connor have had a quiet evening at home.  We had pizza and then went for a walk/scooter ride.  When we got back to the parking lot a couple of older boys were outside riding skateboards in the dark and just goofing around.  Well Connor just joined right in.  He rode his scooter from one end of the parking lot to the other and back.  Multiple times.  It was amazing watching the big boys be aware of him there and catch themselves before they would run him over.  And sometimes he would catch himself before he ran them over.  He just acted like a big kid.

Long Days

Working a full time schedule this week at work. Feels like when that happens everything else falls by the wayside.  The kids disasterize the house. All the work at home sits and waits for me increasing while it does. Ah, one more long day and then back to short shifts. Sure makes me appreciate them.

Tanner Gene

Carey was to have her procedure today, but the baby was born at home instead.  They named him Tanner Gene.  They got to do all the things you get to do if you have a baby instead of a procedure.  I am sure it gives a sense of realness.  He was real and was named Tanner Gene.  I don't know the story to Tanner but the Gene comes from my dad, his great-grandpa.  Carey and Joe were happy to have had the experience and get to touch their little man.  RIP Tanner Gene.

Storage Unit Auctions

Today was the day.  My first foray into storage unit auctions.  It was kind of interesting.  The first one had cancelled.  The second one had one unit.  We all went to the unit.  The lady opened it up and we all got to look inside from the doorway. My very first impression was someone pays to store trash.  Wow.  This was the only unit at that storage place and it went for $55.  Pat's friend Rory said you could tell someone had already been through it.
We moved on to the next place which had 3 units up for auction.  Had to pay $10 to bid here so I paid it and Pat and I counted as a unit.  Better stuff.  Pat won the last auction.  He had seen a toolbox so thought there might be some good tools.  It was just tools.  No treasures, but he did get a sectional couch to replace the Gedzia couch.
Took us four loads to clean it out.  And now Pat has the job of doing a little research on a few items to see if he can sell them and get his money back. He asked me if I wanted to go again in a month.  We shall see.

Little Mother Hen

We were at Mom's as we are most Sunday mornings.  The littles found their buckets from my birthday dinner.  They quickly took them outside and started digging in some dirt.  Grammy was like don't dig in dirt until I asked her what they were suppose to dig in.  Well Audrie dug up a worm.  "Come look at what I found".  Well I had the ipad and made a video.  She got the worm on her little shovel and showed it to Connor and the proceeded to tell him not to eat it as it was yucky.  Funny girl looking out for her baby brother.  Later she brought two worms in the house.  Guess she found them fascinating.  We made her take them back outside.

Tears

My niece let everyone know at the beginning of the year that she was pregnant with baby number four.  We were all very excited for her.  This morning she informed us that the baby didn't make it.  She goes in for a procedure next week and then life goes on.  I can't even imagine what that is like.
And so I just kept thinking about her and sent her a private message telling her how sad I was.  She came back trying to comfort me and made me have tears in my eyes.  Basically she told me how she was sure the family who have gone on ahead of us would be there to greet the baby and take care of it, with the first person in line being Grandpa Gene.  Since he can't be down here loving and playing with his grandchildren he would be up there loving and playing with her three until she gets there to meet them.
I don't cry and I don't shed tears so it was pretty amazing that it happened.  Miss you Dad.  Miss meeting you little baby.  Love Carey and how resilient and strong she is.

A Question Posed

We have a tentative sibling trip planned to Hawaii next year.  After today I am totally rethinking it.  I don't plan on going to Hawaii without the littles. That said I know that my brother does not have enough patience to be around them that much.  So two condos would in order.  And I don't intend on paying for two.  My next thought was taking Elizabeth with as a Nana's helper.  Just preliminary plans.
To do that I think the littles need to get to know Elizabeth and that means changing my mind on no contact for the littles with her.  Trying to figure that one out and I hit on perhaps Elizabeth could babysit once in awhile.  So I broached it on facebook with her to find out if she had any interest in doing that.  Well that opened a kettle of fish.  Papa got his panties in a wad because I wasn't asking him to babysit.  Elizabeth was somewhat indifferent.  And then Papa starts in with how messed up Elizabeth is.  Seems he is being fed stuff from someone.....guess who?  Yes Elizabeth has some issues.  I'm well aware of them from talking to Elizabeth.  Papa goes on to pout a bit about honoring my wishes of no contact and the times he could have taken the kids to Tanya's house.
I guess we take it back to the status quo because I'm not dealing with the crap and that is all it is.  And perhaps my siblings would love to fall back to our original plan of a long weekend in Vegas.

Yeehaw Updated

I almost blew it.  I remembered at 5:07 that I wanted to buy those tickets to the play.  Hurried and got online and set it all up.  The code was still good. Due to some rambunctious children it took me a couple of tries to make sure every thing was right.  So we have tickets to see "Good Night Moon" next Sunday afternoon.  And we also have an invite to go to JJ Jump.  Hopefully that will be on Saturday.

Yeehaw

I've been waiting for weeks for the tickets to go on sale to "Good Night Moon".  Forty dollars was just too rich for my blood to take Audrie.  I figure she is old enough now to sit through a whole play and she loves the book.  And I think Northwest Children's Theatre does some excellent work.  So today I buy tickets because they are having a one day only sale.  Got to like that.  I'm so excited.

Little Bits

Okay I dream in sound.  I'm still not sure about voices though.  I dreamed that someone was trying to quietly sneak in the house (wonder where I would ever get an idea like that) and I heard the soft noises.  Still have to see if people actually talk in my dreams or if it is all just telepathy.
When asked who lives with me and I reply Audrie and Connor why do they then ask if there is anyone else.  Like I'm lying that the only people who live with me are the littles.  Really?
Work is getting ready to pump back up.  Lull is over.  And so it goes.
Met up with Judd again today.  Got to get that money making money.  And so we did.

Grant Park

What a great park.  And we think it will be fun in the summer also as it has a fountain that can be played in.  Maybe two.
After five days of snow and sick children I needed an outing and I was pretty sure the littles did also. We had read about several parks in Portland that looked interesting so this was the first one we decided to check out.  And the weather held for us.  No rain and some sun breaks.
We arrived and they tore off to the playground.  Oh what to do first.  Well teeter tooter it was.  Connor was not sure about it so gave up pretty quick.  Then on to the swings and the play structure.  Connor went up the big slide, but then changed his mind about coming down.  And then they were back at the teeter tooter and he liked it.  Laughed and laughed.  Audrie spent a lot of time on the swings.
This park has an off leash section for dogs so we got to meet a few dogs and they liked that.  And we checked out the statues of Ramona, Henry and Rigsby from the Beverly Clearly books.  Loved the sayings near the statues.  My understanding is the stories take place near the park and that is why the statues are there.  Kind of cool and makes me want to read the books.  Won't be long and Audrie will be ready for them.   Don't know how I didn't read them before.
All in all it was a great park and a great outing.  Next outing might be the Hoyt Arboretum.

Freaked Myself Out

Going a little stir crazy with sick kids.  Both seemed much better last night so we decided we would do something fun today.  That meant an outing to a new park we read about.  Went to Grant Park in NE Portland.  GPS took me on Sandy which means I crossed 82nd and I thought about that auction at Standard TV and Appliance.  Wondered if that was why I put myself in Portland this morning even though I wasn't going to go by Foster.  It is Wednesday right?  Nah.  Just going to that park.  And we went and had a great time.
Heading home I stayed on 33rd until Sandy and my heart actually felt like it skipped a beat when I saw Standard TV and Appliance.  Wait...what? Ohhhhh I was no where near 82nd.  Good to know there is more than one and that is why I was given the specific one for the auction.  And even if I had been by the right one I was much too late as it was then afternoon.

Dreams

So I had a dream and realized that no words were spoken. I've noticed this before and thought it was because I had forgotten the sounds of people's voices. Now I am wondering if I ever dream in sound. Going to have to pay attention and see. I know I dream in color. Maybe I got that instead. The weird places my mind goes.

Relief

Got my tax refund.  That gives me a small sense of peace.  Just having it even though it is mostly all ear-marked.  One of my security blankets.  Just trying to get them all lined back up so I feel better.  I know that I can always tap the IRA and not pay a penalty.  I just choose to not do so if I don't have too.  And I like having a liquid bumper for those unexpected things, like oil leaks and tires and brakes.  Although I guess some of those are expected.  :p
It gives me a small sense of joy to know that I was right also.  Dave spent a good deal of last year trying to convince me how much worse off tax wise I was going to be not filing married.  I knew that that was wrong. It is just one of those things that while he is a great help there are times where he still tries to make me feel stupid.  And I'm not.

Plans

I subscribe to this email from Red Tricycle.  It is a website that tells of all kinds of things happening in Portland suitable for little kids.  This week there was an article about the museums and when they have free or cheap days.  So we are looking forward to going to the children's museum, the art museum and the Hoyt arboretum.  We also have some pretty cool parks to check out.  I think we are going to have a lot of outings this spring and summer.  Even though we have to watch our pennies it looks like there are plenty of things to do to expand our horizons.

Snow Day

Another snow day.  We decided to stay in and bake some cookies.  We finally agreed upon chocolate chip.  I was really hoping for oatmeal raisin, but alas it was not to be.  Both littles got in on the action.  Pouring and stirring and turning on the mixer.  Audrie discovered the joys of cookie dough.  She always claimed not to like it before.  Connor was in bliss with the sugar and chocolate chips.
My birthday flowers from Jacob are still lovely and definitely nice on a cold snow day.  Hints of spring and things to come.

Snow Driving

Papa picked up the kids today.  Pat and I were suppose to go out for dinner at the Brazil Grill and Papa was babysitting.  Well he got the kids but Brazil Grill was closed due to inclement weather.  So I took advantage of being kidless and went and cleaned Pat's house.  Strange to be one of just a few little cars on the road.  Lots of trucks and SUVs today.  My little car did just fine.
Then Pat and I went out for Chinese food.  Had a little trouble getting out of his neighborhood and he immediately said we should have taken his truck.  Well I am here to tell you....we got where we were going and back safe and sound with just a little slipping.  My car really does do okay in snow.  Now freezing rain may be another matter and hopefully we don't get any.

Taking Care Of Business

All the little details of our life.  Just signed a new lease for nine months.  I have no idea how they determine the number of months I can have a lease for. I was offered a year and just felt funny about it.  So I asked and was then offered the nine month.  I could have went month to month, but hated to pay an extra $50 a month for that privilege.
Did my mid cert review for TANF.  Whew.  Must be my first time getting it done on time and not having to jump through all the hoops to get it reinstated.  :p  I'm such a procrastinator sometimes.  Maybe I learned my lesson last time when the lady got rude with me.
Seems like I am always taking care of business in between naps, playtime, and work.  Glad to get some of it done though.

The Snow Cometh

Went to work and didn't think too much of the little bit of snow spit going on.  At work someone commented on school being late.  Then awhile later about school being closed.  And yeah it was still spitting.  I can remember when I would have been freaking out, but the MN girl in me must be coming out.  I stayed for my whole shift and then took the long drive home.  One hour and 45 minutes to get from work to day care.  Looked like about five inches of snow.
Picked the kids up and we went to Papa's so they could really play in the snow without having to worry about cars and whatnot. They did enjoy it, but it was pretty cold so they didn't stay out in it too long.  They have plans to do some more playing tomorrow.

Still Sober

Sounds like Mike is still working his thing.  Seems to be doing fine up there in Cashmere.  Said he doesn't intend on coming back here.  Better for him there.  That could very well be true.  Keeping my fingers crossed, but still not holding my breath.

Celebration

Mom, David, Emma and I dined at The Rock last night to celebrate my fiftieth birthday.  I have never been there and neither had David.  It is the year of expanding my horizons so we had the Founder's pizza which had sweet sausage and ricotta on it.  Anyone who knows me knows I am not adventurous when it comes to food, so it was big.  And the pizza was good.  David and Mom had margaritas in buckets.  Seriously.  We got to take the buckets home for the littles.  I got to be a grownup and have a glass of wine.  Mom gave me one of those looks when I had a second glass.  Jacob showed up after work and added to the stories we were telling.  We laughed and had a great time.  Loved our waiter who was also having a good time.  Love people who are happy at their job.
David gave me a date kit for my birthday.  It included an energy drink (because my bedtime is 9ish), a bottle of be flirty wine and balloons.  Now to find a date.  ;-P
It was a great celebration and I had a great time.  And now on to expanding my horizons.

50

I got this beautiful card and necklace in the mail for my birthday.  My sister does splendid work.
And so it is.  50 today.  And it is a spectacular day.  The littles are going to spend the evening with Papa while I go out with Mom and David.

Current Life in Pictures

Play, the work of childhood.  Sharing our helmets and puzzles from Aunt Treva and Uncle Isaac. Running around in the rain, afterall we live in the PNW.  Playing on the playground and at Dizzy Castle.  Life is good.

Plans

So I have made the reservations for the trip to MN. Got the airline tickets.  Paid for two nights at a hotel.  One at the beginning of the trip and one at the end.  I have found it easier to be in the city the morning I fly.  Ended up with a good deal on the rental car after I got the hotel so that made me very happy.  Everything I had found had me paying about $400 for the trip and that is an ouch.  My deal put me at $240 which is much more palatable.  We fly in the 29th of May and return on the 3rd of June.
Now that all of it is planned I hope my uncle Glen will still be with us.  My aunt had sent me a letter at xmas telling me that he is terminal.  He did two rounds of chemo last year and was to have a pet scan in Jan and then decide any more treatments at that point.  So time will tell.

Lessons

There is something about the interaction with me that happens when the kids fight.  So I am taking some different approaches.  So this morning they were fighting over Connor's blanket.  Now I am a believer of if it is strictly his, then it is his choice what happens with it.  That said, it wasn't working and hasn't been.  So when they started in with it this morning I simply took it away and put it up.  They cried and pouted for a few minutes asking for it back.  Nope.  And then a miracle happened.  They came together and asked if they could have it back if they shared.  This happened in less than five minutes from me taking it away.  I gave it to them with the understanding that I could again take it away.  And they shared.  No squabbles, no tears, no anger.  Just sharing.
I think we all learned something today.  And I'm sure we will repeat this lesson many times for all of us.