Lessons Learned

So we have this whole assault allegation against a supreme court nominee.  Depending on what side of the fence you sit seems to be whether you believe the woman or not.  The premise on the other side seems to be that she is not believable because she took 35 years before she said anything. 
That got me thinking.  And feeling a lot of stuff I don't want to feel.  When did I learn that telling the truth doesn't much matter because people won't believe you?  I was ten years-old.  And it had nothing to do with sex and power.
My brother and I were on a summer visit with our dad.  Now early in the visit I had found a dollar in my stepbrother's room.  And I knew it was wrong, but the candy at the Piggly Wiggly was calling me name.  And so I took that dollar and went and spent it on candy.  Naturally that dollar was missed and I was accused and naturally I denied it at first.  But I did not hold out very long before I told the truth.  I felt so guilty and felt so much shame. 
My dad and the stepmom got into a horrible fight.  She got out a gun and he broke it.  And that is about all I remember of the fight.  They decided they would split up.  So she got in a closet and took some money and put it inside her pants.  I watched her do it.  I did not know why or what would happen next.  She accused me of taking that money.  Naturally I denied it.  And no one believed me because I had taken that dollar a couple weeks earlier.  My aunt and uncle were there and I was so embarrassed. 
My stepsisters would not let me sleep on a bed.  And they would not let me have a blanket until they had gone through all of my suitcase to make sure I wasn't hiding that money. 
It was a relief to leave that place and go home.  But I went home thinking that my dad didn't believe me.  And I thought that until the day he died.  My aunt and uncle came to visit a few years later and I was so worried about how they felt about me.  Maybe I have some of my own anxiety issues because I can still remember and feel how that felt.  It was fine and my aunt told me not to ever worry about it. 
At some point in my adult life my aunt told me that money turned up.  But no one had ever told me.  So I believed that they really believed the accusation.  I never talked about it with my dad.  And when things of great importance in my life happened I didn't tell.  Because why tell if you are not believed. 
I know my story can be construed to favor either side of an argument about not telling or wrongly accusing.  But it is my story and that is why I have not shared a lot of what happened to me in my life with people.  Still don't and probably never will.  I learned at ten that telling the truth does not get you much.