Ready For the Trip

Not quite. I am making progress though.  I got my prescription refilled.  I picked up spark plugs for my car.  I finished my flowerbed project so it didn't look like a mess the whole time I was gone.  I got the yard debris bin filled again as I'm sure it won't be put out while I'm gone.  All the littles stuff is packed and ready to go in the car.  Laundry is almost done so I can pack for me.  I got enough pet food for the pets I buy food for for the month of July.  I mowed for Betty and our front yard is mowed. 
The to do list includes loading the car, changing the spark plugs, gathering the kid food to go, and packing my stuff.  I want to pick up some road snacks as I do not want to eat all my stuff from gas stations.....it is horribly expensive that way.  Although it will be cheaper since it is just me.  I have spent tons of money at gas stations on kid snacks.  ;p  I have three days to do it.  Even as slow as I can be I should accomplish it all on time.
Then the little extras.  Making sure the yard debris bin goes out tonight.  Having dinner with Jodi since it has become a thing.  We decided on Thai food this week.  Cleaning out the litter box and knowing it will be a mess when I get back.  Hopefully someone will think about it.  Making sure all the plants and baskets are well watered.  I'm sure Rebecca will water stuff while I'm gone...

Boundaries

Again.  Not totally successful again.  But each day I begin again.  I don't know if I was born co-dependent or whether it is life driven.  I just know that hindsight says I have been that way for a long time.  It's all right.  It is part of who I am.  It is part of my big heart and my need to try and fix things. 
Part of becoming not so co-dependent is being aware of being so and when.  It is being able to question why I want to do something before I do it.  Like when my big heart wants to give someone something or do something for someone....I have to ask if I am doing it for them or me and why.  Is is selfless or because I am being manipulated? Is it to satisfy the need in me and someone benefits from it?  That isn't always a bad thing as long as I am aware of it. 
I am the biggest enabler of my son.  And I always think back to my friend Annette telling me that it is so much harder to keep boundaries when it is your child who is addicted/alcoholic.  You can always leave a spouse.  It is harder to leave a child.  So I have been working for years on setting boundaries for myself with my son.  And it seems like most of the time my built-in forgetter kicks in and I give in and then down that road we go.  Or enough time goes by that my resolve just goes with it. 

This year feels a tad different.  First the littles went to live with their mom.  So I no longer feel the need to facilitate the relationship between my son and his children.  I have spent ten years making sure there is space for that relationship and he used it when he wanted or wanted something.  After they moved he liked to tell me that since his reason to do good is no longer here...No, I don't accept that.  He didn't go "good" when they were here so them being gone has nothing to do with it. 
When I was in the process of moving, the gun safe got broken into.  There were no guns left in the safe, just my jewelry, mom's checks and savings bonds.  And at that point I told him I was not doing anything more (not true) until my jewelry came back. And I did not expect it was coming back.  That felt more like life teaching me to not be attached to things.  Almost all of the checks were still in the house and the savings bonds. 
I saw my child just before he got arrested and he knew the day was coming...he had skipped out on following through with drug court.  He wanted to know how many packages I could send him.  None.  It's part of not doing anything more.  And I am at a point of changing how I do things to hopefully get different results.  He so obviously did not believe me as the calls started.  The one call I took at first he tried to not annoy me to get what he wanted.  And I guess he did, because after he asked in three different ways for four different things, I did put money on his girlfriend's phone.  And when Father's Day weekend rolled around I did try to put money on Cassie's phone so he could call the kids.  But because her phone is out of area I had to do cash and you do that at the kiosk in the lobby of the jail.  So I went on Saturday just to find out they are closed on weekends due to Covid 19. Oy.  I ended up putting money on my phone so I could explain.  I did not intend to put money on my phone until I was ready to take calls.  I had wrote him a couple of small letters with general chitchat.  I was not giving an opening for "discussions" on packages, phone money, etc. I was getting ready to write a letter explaining my new boundaries so he at least was told.  Instead I took a call and did get to explain about the lobby.  He turned that into my fault because I didn't take his calls all week.  Then he again asked for a package and when I told him I wasn't doing that he told me to have a good life and not contact him ever again as he hung up.  Okay then.  I'm looking at the phone and thinking that was not the smartest move ever, but okay.  Two minutes before the phone started ringing again.  And I haven't answered it since.  I don't have to accept disrespect, especially when I'm paying for it.
So I am back to my boundaries for my son.  No calls until I'm ready which is when the fog has lifted from his brain.....that will take a good month.  No packages, with the exception of his birthday/xmas, and that's dependent on how things are going. 
Every day is a new day and another day to keep my boundaries.  I have to look out for me.  My son is a grown-up and time for him to take care of himself.  He made the choices that get him incarcerated.  He can live with the consequences which means I'm not supporting him in there.  Guess he gets lucky every time his girlfriend doesn't follow through with her own treatment plans on addiction.  Because when she is out she gets him packages.  That is between them.  My boundaries are for me.  I can't change him, I can only work on myself. 

Roommate is Coming Back

Rebecca started moving her stuff back in.  She had moved out as I moved in to live with her boyfriend.  That sounded like it was going to be a lot of together time as that is right about the time his business had to shut down for covid 19 and every one was suppose to stay home.  We wished her well and then it didn't work out. 
I have settled in nicely to my quiet time.  Now when I get back from the midwest I will settle in to a little more noise.  All the house girls are happy to see Harley back.  We'll see how the outdoor girls feel.  I have noticed that Sunset and Betsy are getting closer to tolerating each other.  Good thing because I'm sure Sunset will move back in the house when the weather gets cooler. 

Perfect Workday

Not perfect by any means, but it looks so much better and nice.  I spent a couple of hours this morning finishing up the section to the left of the splash pad and laying borders.  I got Pat to cut my one timber for me and I used what was left to make a little triangle by the fence.  Planted the hardy fuscia and then laid the fabric.  Naturally Sunset had to help with that part. 
I got the lawn mowed and then it was nap time.  After my nap I went to the store to get some more mulch. Boy had I misjudged how much it would take.  Came home and laid it out.  Now Pat doesn't have to look at my mess of my incomplete project.  It is finished for now. 
Now it is time for a glass of wine and soon to bed.  Bet I need some ibuprofen as I can feel the stiffness already.

Work Day Bust

Rebecca is moving back in.  So she came over today and cleaned the carpet in her room.  At least she got something accomplished.  It was just warm and I didn't feel like working in the sun.  Pat and Dale didn't feel like working in the sun, so they took the waverunner to the lake to test it out.  They said it kicks butt and other than a hose popping off, has no issues.  Boy did Pat get a deal on that.  The waverunner had gotten tipped over and then upped the wrong way so that water got where it wasn't suppose to go.  The owner just didn't feel like dealing with it at all so he sold it for $200. Pat dried it out and it started right up.  Now Dale wants one.  Those guys could have a lot of fun.

The Car is Detailed

My appointment with the mobile detailer was today.  The gal was running late but I didn't have anything else planned.  When she got there and saw my car her only comment was there was a lot of pet hair and it is extra.  I agreed.  I want the car clean and maybe pets don't ride in my car anymore either. 
It took her over three hours but she did a fabulous job.  She even got most of the crayon out from 2015.  That crayon has been worked on by two other detailers and it was still there.  I no longer cared about it.  Now I am amazed. 
I'm still thinking I should have waited until I got back.  But it is done and I love it.  Next week I load it up and no one is going to see how beautiful it is under the boxes, totes, bikes, etc. 
I totally recommend A Better Shine Mobile Auto Reconditioning and they can be found on facebook. 

Mowing

I had asked Betty if she wanted me to mow before my trip and she did. We agreed upon today.  I saw many more critters this time and I had these three dragonflies that were following me.  And then they would land on this log. I'm not even two feet from them when I snapped this picture.  So their wings were opaque with dark splotches.  They were very beautiful.  When I moved to the orchard I again had three dragonflies following me.  Were they the same ones?  Maybe, maybe not.  But I find them cool to follow me.
It has been a good month since I mowed so the grass was tall.  Took me almost four hours to mow the whole thing.  Betty teased me that it will be ready again when I get back.  Yes, yes I suppose it will.  It is going to have another month to grow. 

Animal Day

The groomer finally opened.  Monsta got the first available appointment once we knew she was open.  And today was the day.  She was getting very very fluffy and cute.  The problem is this fluffy curly fur mats pretty bad.  And she was just starting to mat. I gave her a bath about a month ago and that helped. 
While Monsta was at the groomers I went and visited Betty.  Didn't feel like going home, just to go back to BG.  So I played with Scamp.  He and Sunset could be littermates.  He is longer and she is rounder, but they are both beautiful black cats.  He loves to play in paper. 

Road Trip

No plan ever goes as planned.  And we haven't even got to the plan yet.  Seems my friend has been called back to work.  He was on furlough during part of this pandemic.  If he truly has to go back to work then we leave as planned .  If he can still find a way for the time off we will leave on Friday instead and make the trip a little less hectic.
Then I got a message about a possible passenger.  I was asked if he could ride along.  He is going to West Virginia and didn't want to ride a bus the whole way.  I suspect he would have if this opportunity hadn't presented itself. I forewarned him that my car is loaded for bear.  He was fine with that. 
Now we will wait and see what happens with the new plans the way they are.  I'm sure something will change between now and time to leave.

Tentative Road Trip Plans

I let Google Maps add up my miles.  Not including what I drive just putzing around my trip is going to be just over 5400 miles.  Yeehaw.
So my plan is meeting up with my friend Doug and heading east.  Hopefully he doesn't leave me too far behind.  He told me he just likes to get in the truck and go.  Well that is great, but I need to stop and move around a lot.  Either that or I won't be walking at the end of the day.  We already have hotel rooms booked for our stops.  I will leave him heading to his family and I will head to Kokomo to mine.  Going to spend four day with Cassie and the littles and then go spend the weekend in Ohio. 
So excited to meet Leo and his dog Eleanor.  We had all kinds of great plans that are now mostly cancelled.  No baseball game.  I'm sure we will amuse ourselves just fine.  Then it is back to Kokomo for another 3 days or so.  Then hopefully my invite that I fanagled myself is still good to hang with Doug for a day or two before he starts heading back to the PNW. 
Up to Rockford for however long.  Frank said I could stay with him.  I didn't even have to ask.  I was totally planning on a hotel again.  So I'm happy.  Looking forward to seeing all those Illinois relatives.  And then it is north to Minnesota to see my sister, her kids, cousins, etc.  Trying to time it to be in Milaca for Megan's graduation party.  I love a party.  You get to see a lot of relatives at once.  And usually I hang with Fred when I go to parties.  This year we will see as he may or may not be going.  Sure sucks when our older relatives get older and not feeling well. 
And that is why my trip to see my littles has grown.  I want to make sure I see all those people who have been important in my life because I may not get another chance.  Life is not promised and I want to tell them in person how much I love them.
When it is time I will head back west myself.  It's going to take up almost the whole month of July.  I feel blessed to have the freedom to do this trip.  I'm not worried about the drive back.  I will go slow and see some sights I haven't seen since we started flying to MN.  I've made this trek many many times and it will be fine. 

Red Dryer

So when I bought the red dryer from George he told me he would warranty it for 30 days.  At 32 days it quit heating.  George is a good guy and he came and got it and then brought it back about an hour later all fixed.  It had a fuse burn out.  Told me he hopes it lasts longer than 32 days this time. 
I bought a used dryer.  I don't necessarily expect perfection.  If there is an issue with the dryer it is not George's fault.  I'm sure he would not go out of his way to sell something that would die right away.  If there are too many issues then it is a lemon and I buy a new dryer. 

Evening Fun

My first time cooking kabobs.  It was pork souvlaki and it was really tasty.  My veggies on the other hand really needed some help.  It's all a learning curve.
We had a nice little fire going and naturally my girls enjoyed me being out front with them.

Thursdays Off

Pat's work has gone to job share.  Now I'm not exactly sure what that means at work, but for Pat it means he now works three days a week and has Thursdays off.  Unemployment will pick up most of that day.  So he really almost wins.
So today he and Dale did some more work on Dale's car and then they did some work on the jetski.  There seems to always be projects going on around here. 
My projects aren't as major.  I still need to finish my border and decide where Mom's tree is going to be planted.  But not today. 

Car

My trip is coming up fast.  So I decided I had better get the car cleaned out.  There is no point in hauling anything that doesn't need to go.  There wasn't that much left.  Two armloads is all.  I brought the shopvac out and tried to vacuum it.  I needed the attachment that gets narrow, but I could not find it.  I am amazed at how much Phoebe hair is still in my car.  Anyway when I was done I went to searching facebook.  There have been many happy customers for a mobile detailer.  Found the company and made an appointment for next week.  I think when I am in Indiana that no child will ride in my car or at least not have food in it.  ;p I've been wanting to get the detailing done since they moved away. 

Borders

I went to Lowe's the other day and looked at borders.  There was one I really liked but at $1.98 a piece and I knew it would take over 20, I just wasn't too sure.  My frugal nature kicked in.  I want it to look nice, but not cost a fortune.  There were also some timber borders that Mom had used before.  And I knew they would work.  But that measuring thing always gets me.
So I finally measured my border.  I had 20 feet of straight and ten of somewhat curved.  So I had it in my head that I would use the timbers for the straight and some concrete ones where it curves.  The concrete ones can kind of curve and kind of have interlocking spaces.
The timbers at Lowe's are eight feet long.  And I was absolutely sure there was no way they would fit in my car.  So I went on a safari for shorter ones.  I went to Home Depot and found none.  They may have had them, but I neve found them.  And they didn't have anything like the blocks I liked.
I went to Walmart, even though I knew that was hopeless.  They had edging, but that was not what I wanted.  They were out of my pretty solar lights so I got some of the old type that I liked.
Then it was back to Lowe's.  My plan was to have them cut the timbers for me to be shorter.  And so I wheeled them all over looking for the cutting part.  Never found it.  It was probably at the back where I couldn't get because they were getting pallets down.  I  must have passed 15 employees who seemed to be going out of their way to not interact with any customer,  I'm looking at the timbers and trying to visualize if they would fit in the car.  Probably not, but maybe.  So I wheeled my cart up front and paid, where the cashier offered to have someone come help me load.  At that point I don't need help.
Took my purchase out to my car and pleasantly enough they did fit crosswise.  Took them home and realized that there will be enough of one to do the last little section that still had an old piece also.  Happy happy. I'm making good progress on it considering I am doing it all myself.  I'm not used to that.  Back in the day I bought and kind of planned and then Dave took over and did it.

Crabs

Pat's fishing trip had a crab add-on.  So he brought home five crabs.  He gave two to Dale and then we ate the other three.  Sat down and cleaned them first.  Then he had his as a crab melt and I just dipped mine in melted butter.  So good.  I am more than blessed sometimes.

Fresh Halibut

Pat went out on a charter yesterday.  He caught a 36 inch halibut.  And that meant we had fresh halibut for dinner tonight.  It was so delicious.
After dinner we sealed up the rest for the freezer.  Looks like enough for at least four more dinners.  I am blessed for sure.

Moving Day

Beth contacted me a couple of weeks ago to see if I could help her move.  And I agreed.  I was totally available.  So today was moving day for her.  She had me, Randy and a couple of young guys.  those guys worked their tails off hauling stuff out to the u-haul.  They play a pretty mean game of tetris.  Even figuring out how to get a bed frame unstuck coming down he stairs.
I think we got most of it.  It is hard to tell when other people's stuff is still there.  But we filled the u-haul.  And got it all delivered to her new apartment.
Her new place has a much better vibe to it.  And she is kind of like me at the moment.  Done raising our kids and our kids kids.  She has a new sense of freedom herself.  So we downsize and make the most of our ability to do what we want.

Dinner Out

I think it is the thing I have missed the most through the pandemic.  Eating at a restaurant.  So our county finally opened up to letting people dine at restaurants. Jodi and I went out to our favorite Mexican restaurant.  It was fabulous.  Just to be able to sit down, order, eat and not have to clean up the mess afterwards. 
We were seated well away from others.  I never felt usafe.  I think the owners and employees went out of their way to make sure their patrons were well taken care of and following all the guidelines in place. 
I'm not going to go out every night.  But it sure was nice to be able to and have a nice conversation with Jodi. 

Oy Poor Bird

So I bought hanging baskets to attract hummingbirds.  Hung them on the back patio and then hoped they liked the purple basket best as no cat can get there.  Planted a beautiful purple salvia in the front to attract hummingbirds.  Dang that is close to the ground.  Bought a feeder and hung it out front up high.  Yay!
In my lifetime I have had cats catch hummers three times.  Hummers are hard to catch.  So one was killed.  Two were brought in the house and dropped in the bathtub (because one of the great hunters figured out that mice can't escape a tub and it is a great place to play). Hummers can escape tubs and I managed to catch both and release back to the wild.  It was amazing at how weightless they are.
I go outside today and Sunset has something.  I thought it was a mouse until I got right up on her.  Nope she had caught a hummer and killed it.  She is a great huntress.  I take the blame though because I'm sure she caught it at that salvia.  The hummers are going to have to get smarter because she isn't leaving and neither is the plant. 

Border

I want to put a border along the flowerbed in front of the house.  I kind of have it in my mind to go with the red pieces of border that was there a long time ago. 
So I went to Walmart and they had nothing.  That sent me to Lowe's.  They had the wood borders but they were in 8 foot increments.  That is fine but I had it in my head they were like five or six feet long.  And naturally I did not measure to see how much I might need.  I perused the rest of the borders and found a really cool cement on that you could even use on the section that is not going to be straight.  $2 a foot. 
Since  I didn't have a measurement I didn't buy any.  Just a little hummingbird feeder.
I need to find my tape measure and take measurements.  That is all there is to it. 

More and More and More

Working here and there on getting things arranged in my room.  So I have a little more room to breathe and move.  And maybe a space will free up so that the big dog doesn't block the little dog from getting to me.  I love waking up in the middle of the night to the little dog crying because she can't get past the big dog. 
What I find amazing is everything I get into I find more stuff for the kids.  Kid stuff and pictures.  I think they just multiply like rabbits.  I have all the totes condensed to take up only their space.  Then when I find new stuff I have no idea where it is going to go.  I'm not really going to know how much space in the car this stuff is taking until I load the car.  And I'm not doing that until the day before I leave. 
I'm beginning to suspect that I am going to continue sending them boxes for awhile.  Because I think I am already at maximum capacity when I get the bikes, the green machine, the hoverboard, curveyboard and five totes.  Guess I will find out in just a few more weeks. 

Sunset's Friend

It's not Willow, although I have seen Willow venturing outside lately.  When we first moved here there were a few skirmishes between cats.  I assume at least one of them was mine.  Then we started seeing Friend around.  It appears that Sunset and Friend have an understanding.  They may not be friends, but they are going to tolerate each other.  And I'm pretty sure Friend has been eating some of the girls' food.  It is what happens when your cats live outside and there are neighbor cats.  Hence the reason why the self feeder is not outside. 
So I found out that Friend has a real name, not the name we named him.  He is called Mister Kitty.  I think I will call him Mister.  He is super friendly to me when his owner is around.  Up until now he has never come to me or let me get too close to him.  So I said he was unfriendly and then he loved me.  Silly boy. 

Work Hard Day

A couple of weeks ago Pat and I moved a car and a small truck out of the backyard.  Pat had decided it was time for them to go.  He made money off the small truck and felt no desire to fix it.  And the car could be fixed but it had a salvage title which just adds a hassle component that he didn't feel like doing.  So today both of those vehicles left.  Pat and Dale towed the truck up to the recyclers and watched it be smooshed.  Someone came and got the car.  And we are happy they are gone.
Once the vehicles were out of the front yard I mowed and then worked in the flowerbed.  I got the fabric laid out that then it was checked by the inspector who messed up the end.  Got her out of it and finished.  Now I need some kind of border and it is good.  There is still a section to do by the sidewalk but it is waiting for the gutter to be lifted so the concrete water pad can be replaced back under it.  Always something on our list.

Messages

I love waking up to messages from my little man.  Today he asked for the countdown number till he sees me.  33.  Which means my personal countdown is 31. 
I think he has started to figure out the time difference because he used to call me at 6 and I am asleep.  Now he just leaves me messages and calls me later in the day. 

Mailbox Post

 A long time ago my dad made this mailbox holder.  And it has held mailboxes ever since.  Dad has been gone for over 30 years so it is getting old.  I thought it needed a bit of freshening up.  So I gave it a couple coats of paint.  Looks a lot better.
Now we are talking about adding the house number on it since you can't really see the ones on the house. 

No Bath

The little dog needs a haircut really badly.  I can't do that, but I gave her a bath.  Then I had the brilliant idea of giving the big girl a bath.  She was not happy.  With a little help she was in the tub.  I got her all sprayed down ready for soap.  I bent over to turn the water off and she took the opportunity to escape.  And that was the end of her bath.  A quick spray down.  She might be the kind of girl who needs to be bathed outside.  We'll see.