Indiana

 I have now made four trips to Indiana this year.  I made one other trip when the kids were younger.  There was a little strife at that time that kept me from spending the money to go again.  Instead Cassie and family came here.  A couple of times I paid for that or part of it.  Once they drove.  

We've come a long way in our relationships.  We've all grown a lot in the last eleven years.  There have been times I have been angry, disappointed, sad, confused and I'm sure it showed.  Time and growth have a way of putting thing into perspective.  I'm probably never going to understand Cassie moving to Indiana and leaving her children.  But, in the end, since she managed to get away from overdoses and all that life entails, it was the right decision for her.  And it is what allows her to parent now.  

We had a conversation this trip about how people who don't see you, don't see your growth.  In their minds nothing has changed since they knew you.  And it's not just about addiction.  I have done that with some younger relatives who grew up but not in my mind.  It was quite an epiphany.  I'm glad that I have been able to see the growth for her and for me.  I don't know what her label is in my family as there isn't really one.  But she is a part of my family.  She has given me four grandchildren (because I count all four of her  children) that I adore beyond belief.  And if I don't have a label for her, it is double for David.  But, he too, is a part of my family.  

So as long as my heart resides in Indiana, I see many more trips there.  This year will have five by the time it ends.  It may taper off after that a bit.  Never know.  And you never know that I might get a wild hair and make a home there.