I admit that sometimes I am dense. And it only took me twenty some years to realize that you really don't consider me a member of your family. And that's all right because after the last year...I really don't consider you part of mine.
So here it is. You got what you wanted and yet you still cry? How stupid is that? Or maybe you just haven't realized yet that what you wanted wasn't this. You have now continued to use your children as pawns in a one upmanship game. The only ones hurt are your children. And yet you claim they are all important to you. Well have fun with that. When they are 18 they can come see me without your permission.
This whole last year has been spent with you trying to prove that you are a grown up and can make your own decisions. You always had that ability since you became a legal adult. The problem came when you started lying about it so you wouldn't have to hear an opinion different than yours. Examples...lying about Kristie living in Oregon. Lies about your car breaking and that is why you needed to trade in a three year old car for a 13 year old car. Lies about your married boyfriend....he is getting divorced...right. Lies about your friends going to the bar only to drink pepsi. How about you....you said you only do that also and yet you go almost every weekend at least once. NO ONE goes to a bar that often and just drinks pepsi. We are not stupid, no matter what you believe. You told me that there is nothing wrong with your choices. As I have stated I disagree. Rather than have you cut me off from your children...I let it all go and did not say anything. Why say anything anyway when you would just lie more about it?
You now lie as much as Mike and Cassie do. I always always write off their lies as them being addicts and it is what addicts do. Oh duh. The way you are acting is so much like how they act. Alcohol is a drug too. The difference is Mike is my family and one of my closest relationships. Right now I am distanced from him because I can't do anything for him and only enable his disease. But he always says hey mom how are you. You say can you babysit.
It definitely feels like you put just enough effort into a relationship with me to make sure you have a babysitter.
And then when babysitting is curtailed due to changes in our life...you throw out your email on all the things we do wrong and how you might have to cut off seeing Elizabeth unless I take an Adrianna day. Wow. Leave you alone and this is what spews. Say okay...no more Elizabeth days and we leave you alone and then you send a text telling us to never contact you or your children again. And when we become 'muture' you will allow us supervised visitation. Yeah right. I have told you before I refuse to play that game. So consider yourself the winner.
I realize you don't feel any culpability in this relationship being crap. Afterall you justify the lies as you aren't really lying. You can hurt your children like this because you are protecting them from loving grandparents who just happen to tell the truth. Oh that is right...I'm just the babysitter. You needed one of those so you could spend the last year trying to get laid and go out for adult nights. And you just have no help in raising your kids. But you go out a lot. That isn't raising your kids. You complain about no breaks and hurt your children when you tell them how much you need breaks from them. Don't worry though as I am not the only one Elizabeth talks to about all the things wrong in your household. I never initiated those conversations, but I did listen and a lot of times I agreed with her opinion.
You know I thought Christmas was all right. Felt like there was a chance at a mend in this broken fence we have. You actually acted like a member of the family. Didn't spend all your time texting and talking to Elizabeth about your friends. Joined in helping out and actually fixed Adrianna's plate. And then I found out that you posted on facebook about Connor not being a part of the family and he is 'only' Audrie's half brother. That you didn't need to ask anything about him as you already knew everything, but you also complained because we didn't call you and tell you about him being born. When he was born everyone thought he was going to the adoptive family so what did you care about it? And it was Mike's place to let you know, afterall he is your half brother. You can't have it both ways....complain about not knowing anything and complain about knowing everything so you don't have to ask.
For me it was like a culmination of all the other things. You never ask about my life and things that are important to me. And you better believe that Connor is important to me. He is part of my family whether he is Mike's son or not. And you don't know crap and really don't want to. He is just an intrusion in your life as he is the cause of your babysitter quitting. But he is only one reason I quit. The other is I am tired of being your floormat where the only time you contacted me is to ask for babysitting. Sorry.
So this is where it stands. I will never contact you again as you have asked. I will contact your children, but I will wait until they are 18. You are wrong, but you make it really easy to totally give up on you.
Natalie
