Rewards System

Today is the first day of our rewards system.  The therapist and I tailored it after the one that is used in the little man's class.  We talked about it last night. 
When it was bedtime he was in bed and before that he put all the clean clothes I had folded away.  Wow.  This morning is he happy to get ready for school and go get on that bus.  Wouldn't it be nice if it just continued on like that?  I'm sure it won't. 

Edges

By edges I mean the outline of the room.  On some of the edges there is furniture.  But really there shouldn't be anything else on the edge.  And it wasn't too long ago that I cleaned all the edges in the living room.  All the toys went back to bedrooms, shoes to the coat closet, and dirty clothes picked up (actually I do that every day).
It amazes me how quick those edges get filled back up.  This time with shoes that should be in the closet, Mike crap, kid crap, and just crap.
Since the little man spent the night at Uncle Pat's, I took advantage of some motivation this morning and cleaned up some edges again.  And it looks so much better.  But if I laid money on it...it won't last a week.  Another one of those neverending jobs.

RIP Marjorie Reed

Aunt Cris was born in 1934 and married my uncle in 1953.  She has always been in my life.  She was the sweetest and kindest person I knew.  She always welcomed us to her home.  She always fed us.  The world is a little less brighter without her. 
Her memorial service was today.  We all laughed at the story of Cris and her violin.  Seems she had to take violin lessons as a kid and she hated it.  So she crashed her bike into a tree so her violin got broken. And that ended the lessons.  We know at some point she took the violin back up because she played as an adult. 
I used to take Mike and Josh out to the beach and we would always stop at their place in Svenson.  Sometimes they would go with us and do things in Astoria.  We rode the trolley one time and we climbed the Astoria Column. 
Cris and John moved to Longview and we got to see them a bit more.  And then life gets in the way.  After Uncle John died, Aunt Cris ended up moving to Vancouver to assisted living and then memory care.  And then an adult foster care.  Dementia is a cruel disease.  I saw her three times in the weeks before she died.  She did not know me.  And that is all right because she knew someone who loved her was seeing her.  And I'm glad I was able to do that.
Then just as we are deciding to move Mom where Cris lived, and getting it all arranged, Cris went on hospice.  And she didn't remain there long.  She was ready to go on and be with John again.  And so she did.  No more mental fog.  No more pain.  Beth was not ready, but our opinion is not sought when the time is here. 
Cris had two daughters, five grandkids and two great grandkids.  All who were the apple of her eye. 
Love and light Aunt Cris on your journey.  I will miss you for the rest of my life. 

Coffee Again

This time I met my friend Megaera at Clark and we had a treat from the bakery.  We talked for a good hour.  I miss her.  When you don't work you don't get to see your work friends.  Now that the kids are actually mostly going to school and the therapy/doctor appointments seem to have slowed down, I feel like I have time to make some plans to meet up with my friends. 
After visiting with Megaera I stopped in the bookstore.  It was a skeleton crew day, but I did get to see Liz and Monica.  Did a quick catch up because they are working.  Monica said she was just thinking about me and then there I was.  Life is like that sometimes. 
Megaera and I made tentative plans to meet up again.  :) 

Coffee

Everything went according to Hoyle.  Both kids on their respective buses and to school.  I headed downtown to a place called Marcell's Pie House to meet up with Tom.  I haven't seen him in almost two years.  Tom seems to bounce between active alcoholism and trying for recovery. 
I can't fix him.  I can just check in on him once in awhile to see how he is.  And more often than not he is drinking.  And he can do that.  He doesn't live with me so I don't say anything. Shoot I don't say anything to the addict that does live with me.  I also don't want to be in the middle of anymore addiction drama, so I let him live his life and remain in facebook land. 
Well life seems to have changed for Tom.  He did another stint of rehab, and I have lost count on the number he is at.  He retired from his job, sold his trailer and moved to Vancouver.  A major shift.  And here he is four months later still sober.  And appears to be truly sober and working the twelve steps. 
I don't know if he hit the proverbial rock bottom or if he just got tired of it.  Either way it was great to see him looking, feeling good.  And have a conversation that was real.  And that doesn't mean the others weren't.  They just centered more around rationals for continuing to drink or get high and not be in recovery.  Remember recovery is more than just not drinking. 
It was a really nice meeting. We cleared some of the air for him in his amends.  He gave me some good advice. We talked about kids, his and mine.  He gave me a better sense of the steps in the program.  And he told me to go to Al-anon or Co-dependence Anonymous.  Seems to be a trend to be told something like that lately. 
We made plans to do it again. 

Trooper

The little man finally had his dentist appointment.  It is his first filling without being knocked all the way out.  He did not enjoy the jelly on the q-tip and he definitely did not enjoy the injection.  But he made it through it. 
Then when the dentist started to drill he could still feel it.  So they waited another ten minutes.  And then he felt nothing.  Got the decay drilled out and it was down to the nerve, hence the pain.  We opted to go with the medicine and filling, rather than a root canal.  He got another silver crown.
And now we get through the next few days with some more pain and then here is hoping he is just good to go. 
But he was a trooper and he was brave and he was fine afterwards.  Made his next appointment for the big cavity on the other side of his mouth.  Hopefully he will be just as brave.

Welcome October

Well there was a meeting at school for the little man.  The bus was late picking him up.  And then the little woman threw a fit and I was stuck.  I didn't make it to the meeting, but the therapist did.  He filled me in and we have a plan.  I'm going to keep searching for my voice and may do some counseling myself.  And I'm going to start a reward system like they have at school with the dragon tails. 
I had to move my appointment with the parent peer and then she had to cancel it for today.  So it didn't happen.  We'll see how that goes on Thursday. 
Mom's assessment went pretty well.  Mom was up and had lunch.  Cami did the same thing with breakfast that I did yesterday.  She took her meds.  It was interesting hearing Mom tell her how she can do everything by herself.  Mom can't really do anything without cuing and help.  One more step done though.  My homework from this is getting an eye exam scheduled. 
And it is October so we start counting down the days till birthdays and holiday. Feels like fall.