Another Aunt Afternoon

The littles' aunt Traci came over again and babysat for a few hours.  The littles love it.  They played with sidewalk chalk and the hose this time.  They just love Aunt Traci.
Me, I got to go visit Mom and go to the grocery store.  I love going to the grocery store by myself.  I don't forget much and I spend less.  Get less junk.
Mom is really settling in.  She had just had lunch with a fine group of ladies.  We sat and visited some more with those ladies before taking a walk in the little courtyard.

Smooth Talkers

I let the contractor in to do a bid on the roof.  That was my first mistake.  And so they did the look see and the estimate.  Wow.  $18,000.  Then they knocked it down to $16,000.  Well I signed and then thought about it overnight.  Cancelled this morning.
IF I was for sure going to live here for the next twenty years it might be worthwhile.  They did a good job in explaining why they are high.  However I only expect to be here for a short time....like three years max.
So I need to go up in the attic and see if I see what they showed me in pictures.  And if I do....leakage and the start of some mold problems...then I need to call some other roofers and get a normal roof installed.
But ohhhh the accent on the first guy.  I could just sit and listen to him talk.  I am nothing if not completely smitten by accents.

Ear Rings

So I have had a little help.  The littles found some of Mom's jewelry not in her box.  One of the things was this pair of blue and silver earrings still attached to their card and in a box.  Beautiful.  Then I look closer and they are Premiere Jewelry.  I didn't remember Mom buying those particular earrings, but obviously she did.
So I wore them today and the very  first things was a compliment my way on them.  And like clockwork the first thing out of my mouth after thanks is they are Premiere Jewely and Brenda sells it.  I don't know that Brenda ever gets any extra sales due to my great word of mouth.  I just know that I always promote the line and her as a salesperson.  And I get a lot of compliments on the Premiere Jewelry that I wear.

Settling In

The littles, Phoebe and I walked down to the assisted living facility where Mom is.  We brought her two garbage cans, some new sheets and a new shower curtain.  Things to make her studio a little more homey.
Mom was having a little bit more of a sleepy day.  She was happy to see Phoebe, but not overly so.  So we didn't stay too long.  But the walk did the four of us good and I'm sure our visit did her good.  Mostly the littles were quiet like they were asked to be.  It is a whole new learning curve there.
And we are settling in also.  Today the pest control guy came out to see if we can't get rid of the ants that have been here for far too long.  I also scheduled a new water heater for next week.  I may do some checking in the meantime and see if I can find a better deal.
I've now cleaned the carpet in the master bedroom twice and scoured the master bathroom.  This on top of the living room.  I think tomorrow we move my bed and then start the process over again as we set up the kids beds in their rooms.

Transitioning

I have been kind of vague on the progression of my mom's dementia.  Partly because it is her story and partly because I'm still processing myself.  But the time had come for her to move to an assisted living facility.  I was moving and became quite concerned about leaving her here alone.  My brother planned on spending several nights a week here, but it just didn't feel like enough.
After a couple of incidents that were kind of scary we decided it was time for her to make the transition to something more supervised.  And so it was.
I spent quite a bit of time researching and touring and getting advice from those who had gone before me.  The good advice that I didn't follow was to narrow the search down to two and then let her help decide.  She has spent so much time sleeping and not getting up for us that we just made the decision without her input.
And all of that felt odd.  I have had many of those moments in the last four months.  Sometimes the easy road was just to do things and not comment on them.  Like moving the toaster oven out of the kitchen.  We never use it and it was taking up valuable counter space.  She didn't miss it.
I had already learned to just do small things quietly. I had asked her about moving out the dog kennel to make way for an art table.  All I did was ask and she agreed it was a good idea.  The dog kennel is still in the dining room (not for long now).  For several days after that she couldn't find anything because I moved everything.  No, but that was her perception.  Dementia is so very different than other diseases that take our loved ones from us.  It is hard.  This disease is taking my mom away in bits and pieces.  And all we can do is take it one day at a time.
So we found her a spot close to us.  That makes visiting her, taking her dog to see her, etc easier for us.  And that played a big factor in the decision making.  If she was too far out of the way I'm not sure we would realistically visit as often as we should.  And life is short so we need to make it easy to do what we need to do.
So the move came and went so much smoother than I expected.  I remember her deciding it was time just as Dave was getting sick.  We had scheduled a tour and then she fell apart.  Didn't want to move and at that point in time she didn't need to yet.  I expected a repeat this time but the choice was no longer hers to make. It was a relief that she didn't fall apart this time and agreed with us in the timing.
And I wasn't sure how it was going to go for her.  She has been sleeping a lot lately.  More than normal.  Several nurses have told me it is very normal for dementia patients.
I stopped in to see her today.  She told me about having breakfast, listening to a musician and playing bingo.  She was pretty sure she didn't win at bingo. She said all the people she had met had been pretty nice.  I think she is settling in just fine.  And she isn't weeping or angry.  Maybe we just actually picked the right time to make this transition and move forward.
I am so thankful for all the advice, help and support I got from all of the unexpected places.  Traci for babysitting and taking the littles out of the mix for the move.  Beth for all the good advice and telling me her thoughts on the places she had toured.  Erin at A Place for Mom for finding me good places.  Diane from the facility who told me I needed to join a support group (Betty had also suggested it) and she knew from experience with her own mom.  Pat for helping me make the decisions and supporting me in the ones I made without him.  I have had a big weight lifted off my shoulders and it feels like I just woke up and can breathe.

Easter Brunch

We started going to Easter brunch in 1989 or 1990.  I honestly can't remember now I just know it was after my dad died.
This year we did it differently.  Partly because the price of the brunch we went to has gotten to be $40 a piece and that is a lot of money for bacon and cheese blintzes.  Then we have the whole new circumstances in our family.
So we did brunch at home this year.  Pat made the omelettes.  I tried my hand at crepes which is as close to cheese blintzes as I could get.  They were pretty good.  And then we cooked up some bacon and some real sausages.
And then for dessert we had cheesecake.  And oh no.......Uncle Pat got the little man to try it and he liked it. So now we have to share with him.  At least the little woman still says no to even trying it.  Even with a money bribe...she stuck to her guns.

Aunt Day

                   
                                                            Traci took these photos.


The littles' Aunt Traci came over and played for several hours today.  It helped me out by amusing the littles.  They had a picnic and painted.  It is so good for them to have their aunt spending time with them and making them a priority for an afternoon.
Then we went to dinner at Shari's.  Uncle Pat came and every one had a nice meal.
We are going to do it again another afternoon before she heads back home to Yelm.  I'm so appreciative of all the help she gave me today and all the love she gave them.

Outside

The littles are starting to spend more time outside.  They made another new friend today.  I like that they are making friends in the neighborhood.  All winter we spent inside because it got dark early.  So we had no idea where the kids were.
We also played with Drew's dogs today.  We love Bailey.  Bailey is his golden lab.  He is also dogsitting Otis who is a black lab.  Otis is so nice and calm.  Bailey is such a puppy yet even though she is like four years-old.
Then Uncle Pat came over with Betsy.  Oy.  She went out in the muddy back yard.  Now I have muddy prints all over the kitchen.  Guess we are mopping.  But it is oh so nice to love on Betsy.
Kids and dogs and outside.  What a great day and a great ending to Nana's busy work week where she shipped over 4000 pounds of books.

Wow

Sometimes I am a lousy picture taker.  Anyway the new owners of Papa's place have pretty much now cut down all the Douglas firs.  I had wondered....they took the old growth out first so many many trees over a hundred years old.  Then they did finally cut down the trees that were planted in the 60's.  So those were only about fifty years old.  Judy was right when she said Dave's house was no longer nestled in the trees.
When I was hoping for someone to love the place I sure didn't expect a clear cut.  And I just remind myself that it is their property now and they can do what they want.  I just so hope that they do eventually show some love.  And my magnolias are absolutely gorgeous this year.  I guess they liked the neglect they got last year.

Early Release

The little woman has adapted to the changes in her schedule like a little champ.  On early release days kindergarten gets out at the same time as the rest of the school.  So that means if she is not a parent pick up that day she must ride the big bus.  The big bus that goes to daycare.  She just had her second early release day where she needed to ride the bus and it went like clockwork.
I was worried the first time I realized it meant riding a different bus for her.  So I worked my work schedule around to be off on those days.  But it came up that one landed on my bosses vacation week and I had to work.  Now it is old hat already.
I'm just proud of my girl for being able to roll with the changes.

Nurses, Puddles and Eggs

While the little woman was at school we had the nurse come out for Mom's assessment.  She has to be assessed and make sure that her needs would be met wherever we decided she was moving.  That whole process went much smoother than I expected.  It is either that or it is the calm before the storm.  Then we picked the little woman back up and ran our errands associated with Mom's move.  There has to be a doctors order issued so we took paperwork to Kaiser for that as well as the POA.  Stopped at Uncle Pat's and caught him up on the process.
And then we were home and they found their rain jackets and boots.  It was time for a little puddle jumping.  We are still using the rubber boots that Papa got us.  Papa did so good with those.
We ended our evening with some egg coloring.  They had fun and we have some very colorful eggs this year.  Amazing what happens when you actually use vinegar.  ;p

Life

My brother and I have decided Mom needs to move to an assisted living or some such thing.  Beth suggested we contact A Place For Mom as a starting point.  Did that.  Ended up with a list of places to talk to.  I had already been to two of the places.  So I have now visited three more.  And we are opting to stay local and go with Creekside.  Local works best for visiting, outings and taking Phoebe to visit. Naturally that is assuming that the nursing assessment says it will work out.
The nurse is coming today to do the assessment.  I'm apprehensive as to how that will go.  Mom hasn't even really been out of her room in three days.  I think she is giving up.  Pat thinks she is giving up.  We had dinner plans for last Friday for Pat's birthday.  She wouldn't get out of bed.  So we went without her.  Then Pat came on Sunday to go to lunch with her and shopping for his birthday. She got dressed but wouldn't go.  So he went by himself.
I gave up the apartment we had reserved and naturally the tenants just finally moved.  So I have my fingers crossed that all our transitions move smoothly.  But I'm not expecting it.

Breakfast

I had a little extra time again this morning.  So when I dropped the little miss off at school I asked her if she wanted me to go with her to breakfast.  It was an immediate yes.  So we checked me in at the office and then headed to the cafeteria.  She didn't really eat.  Drank her milk.  We watched Mary the monitor and all the kids.  We didn't really talk about anything, just sat quietly enjoying each other's company with no distractions.
Then I walked her to class and she had a substitute. I think she likes these breakfast mornings.

Yippee

So Traci is down here for three weeks.  I asked her if she might be available to babysit one afternoon.  She said yes.  I'm so excited.  Course I will probably spend my "free" afternoon taking care of Mom business.  It is what it is.  I'm just glad I have a babysitter for a day.
How refreshing to be able to ask someone and have them be so happy to help you out.  Thanks Traci.

Party in Puyallup

The littles' aunt Traci invited us up for her birthday party.  The restaurant was in a mall.  So we got serenaded by a barbershop quartet.  They littles got to spend some time in the play place at the mall.  They stuck very close to Nana Nita and Aunt Traci.  We met Nana Nita's husband Kirk for the first time.  I met Traci's fiance Jeremy.  The littles had met him a couple of years ago.
Aunt Traci liked the bling that the littles picked out for her.
We had an uneventful drive up and back.  Traffic moved.  No slow downs in any of the usual places.  Amazing.  It was an enjoyable day.  Caught up with Nita.

Laid to Rest

The funeral for my aunt Darlene was today.  I can only imagine how my cousin is doing today.  We all get our own burdens.  Mine is my mom's dementia, so I lose her a bit at a time.  His was much quicker in time.  I send him light and love and the energy necessary to get through the next few days, weeks, months.
RIP Darlene.  Light and love on your journey.

Tired

Liz and I are tired.  We are in the middle of a new process that includes processing all rental returns.  So that means lots of trips and back and forth from the warehouse to the buyback room for me.  And then we are getting the keepers out on the shelves as fast as we can.  As well as all the used books we bought back.  Whew.
We really didn't know how this was going to go.  So she didn't schedule extra help this time and we would see how it went.  I worked extra today and we have ran our butts off for three days.  One more day to go and we have help tomorrow.  Thank goodness.

Limbo

It seems like I have lived so long in limbo that it is becoming a normal state of being.  It is time for us to have a home.  Now the current plan is waiting for the current tenants at Westwood to move and then we would move there.  And that is how things were working.
The downside of that is, as we have been here, it has become quite apparent that my mom cannot live by herself.  No matter what her opinion is.  And so it leads to this quandary.  It does not work the four of us living together.  We are all in agreement on that.
And so the question is what do we do now? Trying to find an outcome that makes every one happy and unfortunately that just isn't going to happen either.  It is hard being the decision maker.
On a positive note....I found my mom's cemetary deed and we did buy two plots in 1989 when my dad died.  I'm glad I found that and no longer have to worry about that.

Pat's Birthday

Pat came out today for his birthday.  We set up a plan for dinner this weekend.  He seemed surprised that I didn't have his gift yet.  I've been a little tied up the last ten days.  Anyway I will have it by dinner.
So we will enjoy Mexican food and maybe a margarita.  Yum.  Seems like the only time I drink margaritas is when I am with him.
We ordered flowers for Darlene today.  Decided to do it as a family.

Easy

Spent another day taking it easy.  Audrie seems to be feeling a little better.  Glad I kept her home today though.  She can go back to school tomorrow.
And soon we will all be well and this will be a distant memory.

Right This Time

So we ventured to the doctor office first thing this morning and yes, Audrie does have an ear infection.  So we got her an antibiotic.  Chalky horrible stuff but she only has to take it once a day for five days.
The rest of the day we just lazed around some more because that is all we have done for the last nine days anyway.  So why should today be any different?
It's going to be so nice when we aren't sick any longer.

Day Eight

At least one of us has been sick for the last eight days.  And I'm talking about all four members of the household.  Audrie was the best and then today the ear infection hit.  That was just a matter of time.  Naturally by the time I decided we needed to go to the Dr office the Dr office was closed.  So we just ran to the store and got some more ibuprofen and came home.  Gave her some and she fell right to sleep.  Now I know there is no way the medicine worked that fast.  I think she was just exhausted.
Now we will see how she is tomorrow before deciding if we are going to the Dr office again.

RIP Aunt Darlene

My Aunt Darlene died today.  She was born on Oct. 24, 1939 and was 76 years old.  The past couple of years gave her some health issues.  She is survived by my cousin Lanny and his wife Erin and their three children.
I didn't come to appreciate Darlene until long after I was an adult.  Life hands you many lessons and as I got older I realized how hard parts of her life had to be.  I may have felt that she didn't like me as a child, but I know that wasn't true.  I remember her giving me the biggest hug at Lanny and Erin's wedding reception.  She was always happy to see me when I made the trek back there.
Darlene was married to my uncle Warren who died a short time after my dad.  She was a strong woman who lived many places and raised an only son.  She is now at peace and without illness.
Light and love to Lanny, Erin, Summer, Warren and Megan.  They will need it in the days ahead.  It's hard losing fathers....I think it is harder losing mothers.

Open House

I went to work and did what I absolutely had to.  Then I went home and took a nap.  Needed the nap to gain back some energy to go to Open House at the little woman's school.
I picked the kids up and we grabbed some dinner.  Then to Open House.  We let her guide us.  We kind of met Lily, a hamster in the lobby.  Lily was brought in as a representative of Humphrey from "Life According to Humphrey" that the whole school was reading.  Lily stayed hidden the whole time.  Didn't blame her as it was pretty loud.
We had activities to do in Audrie's class.  Mrs. Babbitt was very happy to get some new glue sticks.  She said they were on their last one.  I told her I intended to buy more than one package but that is all Walmart wanted to sell me.  She laughed and agreed.  Said the last time she went to buy some there were only two packages.
Audrie showed us her work and around her room.  We jumped in on a guessing game.  And Audrie's favorites spot must be the read alone corner.  Very soft pillows there.
Mrs. Babbitt was very impressed with how well Connor was writing, etc.  She asked how old he was.  Then we did the whole...no he still has over year to go before he starts kindergarten.  By then he won't need it because he gains so much from her. He doesn't have to invent the wheel and it puts him so far ahead.
When we got home the little man wanted his temperature checked.  Oy.  Not a good sign.  Here it to hoping he only gets a little sick if that is what is happening.

Bed Day

Oh yeah.  It was a mistake yesterday not to continue resting.  We spent all day in bed today.  I took a shower in the afternoon and needed to take a nap afterwards.  This is a lovely flu.  Hopefully we will be on the up swing now.  Audrie had two bad days and her fever was much worse than mine.

Same Old Same Old

So I had a box of pictures for Tanya.  She and the girls came and collected the pictures.  While here she got a text from some friend who wanted her to babysit. So she was telling Elizabeth about it and how they were going to do it as they would be home by the time a babysitter was needed.
I wonder if she even realizes how much of a slap in the face that is.  I wonder how long I will be annoyed about her proclamation of not being able to babysit Connor and Audrie because she has cats.

Worked

So I woke up with a headache.  Took some ibuprofen.  By the time it was time to be at work I felt better so I went.  Worked my shift.  Came home and crashed.  Sure am hoping that wasn't a mistake. Guess I will know tomorrow.

Monday Blues

As the morning progressed I realized I had a headache. Oh no. Then when I got in the shower I was cold.  I was running a pretty hot shower. Yup.  I had the flu also.  So the littles and I spent the whole day just resting.
I had always wondered how this day was going to go.  In the past if I was sick Papa would take the kids.  So this is the first time I have gotten sick and have not had him.  Helps that the littles are older. And we did all right.  It was hardest on the one of us that is not sick.  But even he did really well at behaving and being quiet.
We did venture out to get food.

Down Weekend

The little woman is sick.  No idea what.  She has a fever and she says a headache.  So she has been just taking it easy.  It put all plans this weekend on hold.  That said.....I have managed to get everything done that I intended to do, except Costco and OMSI.  The car is cleaned out and vacuumed.  Had a lot of help there from the little man.  Got the lawn mowed for the first time of the season.
And the biggest job was dismantling the picture box and making it three boxes.  The one box was so heavy that I can't lift it.  I can only push it. When I moved it from Dave's house I had to have John get it for me.  Mike helped with it here.  The next stop I'm on my own.  So now the box is three.
I pulled out a small box for Tanya.  There were a lot of old family pictures that I thought she might like. She won't know half of them, but I bet she gets a kick out of some of the ones of a young Grandma Gayle.  And now she will have lots of her dad when he was young.  I also culled more from my pictures of her when she was younger.  Now she has proof that she milked a cow.
I always like going down that nostalgia road. Was looking at camping at the beach pictures when the raccooms were fed.  A bike ride with Doug and Geraldine.  Now that goes back a long ways when Dave and I first got together.  My bridal shower at Laura's house.  Hawaii pictures.  Wedding pictures, baby pictures, family.  I miss those who have gone on......Clyde, Little Donald, Dad, Dave, Grandma and Grandpa, etc.  I no longer feel so sad when I look at the pictures.  I have some really good memories in that box.  So Audrie's down weekend got that job done because I could sit quietly and do it while she rested.

Restocking

So when we moved in with my mom I got rid of most of my furniture.  Mom already had all the furniture that fills her house with the exception of our beds and dressers.  So that is basically what we kept.
Fast forward to now and we are again moving out on our own.  And that means we don't have any furniture.  Oy.  I'm trying hard not to watch for stuff as I have no place to store it.  I need to wait and replace once we are in Westwood.  But this morning I saw a computer chair for $15.  I could not pass it up.
So we made the trek out to La Center this morning and got the chair.  Well worth its price tag.  Better than either of the two we used at Clark Ave.  So I'm happy with that.  And we had a lovely drive in the country.
And now back to not watching for stuff.  Yeah right.  I'm just ready to make the transition.  Can't wait for the littles to have space to play again.

A Different First Friday

First Friday and the weather was great.  So we decided to check out the outside section of the Children's Museum.  They have two big sand pits for digging.  The littles loved that and spent a lot of time just digging.  Then we discovered the cedar tree that was meant for climbing and the maze made out of some kind of vine plant from the way it tangled.  They thought that was pretty cool.
Finally we made our way inside.  The very first thing was painting teeth.  And fishing.  Each kid who fished caught a toothbrush.  They had the OHSU School of Dentistry students there doing all kinds of cool things.  So we have two new toothbrushes.
We got in on an art project done with an artist in resident teacher.  They dripped special ink into water and it swirled.  When they thought it had enough swirls and colors they dropped a sheet of paper on top and then pulled it off.  The ink adhered to the paper.  It was really cool.  We got Connor's work.  Audrie's disappeared while it was drying.  We may try this project again at home.
Then it was suppose to be on to playing with all the usual places.  But in the make up mirrors the dental students were doing face painting. So Audrie got hers done.  Amazing how that paint makes her eyes pop.
Small world.  Trudy came up to me and asked if I was still her neighbor.  So we caught up.  Got to see some of her grandchildren and her youngest son who is just a year older than Audrie.  I remembered when she asked me if Audrie was mine....way back when Audrie was new....and I'm like noooooo.  Well she had just had her last child and she is a bit older than me.  Funny that I would have to go all the way to Washington Park to see an old neighbor, but sometimes that is how my life is.

New Playground

The goal is to always find new playgrounds to play on.  This one is up in Hearthwood.  It is in a park right next to the elementary school.  Naturally when I am in that neighborhood I am reminded of when we lived up there way back in the day.
But today we played and played.  This bridge thing is new and they both proclaimed it scary.  Audrie never made it all the way over it.  Connor did and Nana did.  She did give it many attempts.  She just got too hung up on her fear when she got to the top.  Next time she will do it.
They played with new friends.  They met dogs.  They even got to go down the slide with a German Shepherd puppy.  That was cool.  We saw this life size carved bear and were impressed.  It was a great playground outing.

Breakfast at School

The little woman gets free breakfast at school.  Most mornings we do not arrive early enough for her to utilize that.  This week however, we have made it twice.  She invited me to go with her both mornings.  So we drop off the little man at daycare and then head to school.  I no longer have to show ID in the office when I check in as a visitor.
We don't really do anything special, just spend a little time together.  Just the two of us, and all the other kids eating breakfast.  She tells me all about the things we see on the way....like the library.  She is friendly with all the aids who are monitoring the bus area and the cafeteria.  They all know her in the office, and I'm not sure that is a good thing.
I get days with the little man and very few with the little woman.  So I'm really happy that we are able to carve out these twenty minute mornings of one on one time.

Short Day

Ah back to my normal short days at work and I so appreciate them.  Nothing like a whole week of 8 hour days to give you a sense of how nice four hour days are.
So we were talking about our next vacations.  Not the ones we have planned for this year.  Next year's plans.  I'm debating between making it the trip I planned with Dave to Hawaii or going to South Florida.  Actually leaning towards Florida.  It would be cheaper.  Either way I must decide soon and get it planned and saved for.
Still patiently waiting to hear from Karen at Westwood.

So Secretive

So Tanya posted on facebook about being happy about her new job.  A week later I ask Elizabeth where her mom is working.  The answer was "some hotel in Vancouver" and how did I know her mom had gotten a job.  I asked what she was doing and she said some food stuff.  Lovely answers.
So I asked Tanya how she liked her job and she wanted to know how I knew because she didn't tell me.  Well yes, yes she did.  She posted it on facebook.  Duh.  Anyway she said she liked it and I said I was glad.  Still have no idea what or where, because obviously she is taking a page from her brother's book.  And I guess that is fine.  Same old same old.
Not sure why I always hope for a change.
On another note.....Elizabeth got a job at Taco Bell.  But she said she still couldn't pay for her  books because her job is too new.  Um....that is three paychecks before classes start.  Because she asked and she did ask nicely I'm still paying for her books this quarter.  Feeling a little manipulated.
I think I need a new family.