The Search Begins Again

The nurse from the assisted living called me last week.  It is time to move my mom to a memory care unit. Several reasons for this.  The first and foremost is a memory care unit will be better suited for her.  They will have activities designed for dementia patients.  They have more staff to interact and distract.
So my search has begun again for a place for Mom.  I toured two new places today.  I pretty much excluded the ones I had already been to.  The two places today were like night and day.  So different.  And I liked things about both of them.  If I could just combine the things I liked into one place.  I'm going to see one more and then choose.
Saw Mom this afternoon and she was having a pretty lucid moment and that made her pretty sad.  She asked questions that I and one of the aids answered.  Maybe it is time to sugarcoat some answers even in times of lucidity.  Anyway I told her about the two places and asked her opinion.  She leaned the same way I did even if the other place was "nicer".
Not looking forward to the transition.  Has to be done.  Here is to hoping there is only one transition and that she doesn't have to move again....or if she does she is beyond the knowing.

And We Have a Yurt

We've been talking about doing a second yurt/cabin trip this year.  But the summer pretty much got away with us.  September is very busy.  So we started looking at October.  We've done a couple of fall trips to the beach before.  This year's summer trip was the anomaly.
So we have a yurt reserved.  Not sure if we are taking Mom or not.  Think we play that by ear when it gets closer.  If she does, I'm taking a tent.  I think I have had enough of sleeping in the top bunk with two little kids.  I would rather stay in a tent.  We are staying three nights this time.  Not sure yet if all of us are staying three nights or if it is the littles and I the first night.  Playing that by ear also.

Old Friends

When you are six and four years-old, old friends aren't that old.  Anyway we met up with Ericka, Cohen and Kinzlee today at Kiwanis Park.  The kids all played and played.  It was so good to see them.  Ericka and I have been trying to connect all summer long.
So glad it finally all worked out. My kids missed hers and hers missed mine. And somehow I never got Kinzlee in a photo.
Thanks for showing up and Kenny also even if we only got to see him for a minute.  I'm sure the little man appreciated the help getting down off the rock.  

Taking Stock

The littles came home this afternoon.  They were hoping for five sleeps with Nana Nita.  Nana Nita has some paperwork she needs to sign tomorrow so she is in town now.  I'm happy. I don't have to drive north to collect them.
Someone asked if they were still gone and I said no, they are home.  She commented that I got a little break anyway.  Well yes and I got two nights good sleep, two naps, a concert without having to pay $60 to a babysitter, lunch and a visit with Mom, and some cleaning without anyone going behind me making a bigger mess.  I think I am way ahead for my two day break.
So I thank Nana Nita and Aunt Traci for the weekend.  It does the kids good to spend time with them.  And it does me good to have a little break.

Splendid Day

It was my day without kids.  I did some housework because I could and not have it all messed up behind me.  Then I took Mom to lunch.  I was thinking Applebee's.  But she was hungry for Lemon Sour Cream pie from Shari's.  We went to Shari's and she was disappointed.  She said everything had changed.  It hadn't except the quiche and she said it tasted fine.  We stopped and played with Betsy and Monster on the way home.
Then it was a quick nap.  My friend Doug picked me up and we went to the Sunlight Supply Amphitheater for the concert.  Playing were Cheap Trick, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, and Heart.  It was fabulous.  All three rocked the house.  The people were moving, dancing and singing.  It was a super concert and the first big one I had been to in years and years.
Then we did the gauntlet to get out of there.  The amphitheater holds 18,000 people and we all wanted to leave at once.  It took us 45 minutes to get out, but I really didn't mind.  The company was good and it was fun watching how many people forgot where they parked.
Thanks my friend for a wonderful evening.

Quiet

It was a busy busy day.  The littles went to daycare.  I made a quick visit with Mom and worked.  Then I picked them up and we headed north to Centralia.  All week I sweated if the plan was going to work out or fall through.  I had my back up just in case.
We had a nice little dinner at the Burgerville with Nana Nita and Aunt Traci.  Then the four of them finished heading north and I headed back south.
I got home with enough time to veg in front of the television for a bit.  With no interruptions.  Just quietness.  It was glorious.
Now I shall see how much I can cram into two days with out them.  :)

Slow

Buyback is super slow this time.  Not buying many books.  It is hard to judge the rental returns.  Looks like we are keeping most of them this quarter so it is hard to know how many have went back on the shelves.  When we send them back to the vendors they sit on a shelf until the end and you can see the shelves fill up.  It just feels really odd this quarter.
Anyway we are just plugging right along in our fall build up.  I'm looking forward to the next lull.  Feels like I have worked a lot more than normal this build up.  And maybe I have since Belinda quit.  We do have Geri now, but she is just training and more for fall rush.
I think the littles and I need to do something in Oct.  Something at the beach.

Running Start Open House

This is the first year I have actually helped with the Running Start Open House.  Running Start is a program in our county where high school students can attend the community college for high school and college credit.  If they play their cards right they can graduate high school and have an associates degree without having paid for it.  It is a wonderful program.
Open House is where new Running Start students can come in and get lots of information about the program and about our bookstore.  We offer a lot of services and when you are new it is a good thing to get the information.  I know I learned a lot and I work there.
My job was to work in the textbook department helping students find their books.  The time went by very fast.  I met Mac, who is an economics instructor.  He was a witty guy and very interesting.  We also had the head of the math department helping.  Gives everyone a different perspective.

Train Ride

The Norvell Railway was open today and we went and had an adventure.  We took Mom along because I figured she might like it.  And they all three loved it.  This man set up a train track going around his five acre piece of property.  And every so often he gives train rides on his miniature train.
Every picture Mom was just smiling and so was the little man.
It did Mom good to get out and do something.

Annoyed

So Tanya could not understand why I was annoyed on Saturday.  My goodness.  She was standing right there the Sunday before when Mike told his kids he was coming to BG to see them and spend some time with them.  And then when the time came, she changed the plans as if it was no big deal.  And at the very least....she could have invited us to go with them to the river.  That way she could still meet whoever she was meeting and the kids would have gotten their time with their daddy.  But you know....same old same old.
So the consensus was that there won't be any more plans for Mike to see his kids until he is out of work release.  He will just wait and see them in Oct when he is done with work release and that way no one has control over it or him.  And the kids don't get their hopes dashed by false promises and someone else's need to make sure they feel sadness.

Geography

Maybe I am getting ready to homeschool. Anyway we put up a map of the United States and a world map.  We marked all of our adventures on the maps.  Mine has the most and then Audrie and then Connor.  All good.  She just got a couple of trips in before he was born.  And naturally she doesn't remember them.
Anyway they can both show you where we live. No sweat.  And then they can show you where the mummies live.  And the beetles (scarabs) that crawl in  your skin.  You could never guess what movie we watched a few weeks ago.
We have started talking about countries and oceans and landmarks.  And I am amazed at how much they retain.

Uncle Pat to the Rescue

As always, my day did not go completely as planned.  Mike was having another social day.  He had money to collect his chain from the pawn shop.  Then his plan was to come see his kids and maybe do some laundry.  The kids being the important part.  So I planned accordingly.  One load of laundry would give me enough time to go take snacks to Mom and have a little visit.
When they arrived I was informed they weren't staying.  The river was more important.  And so it goes. Made me wish I hadn't told the kids that Daddy was coming to visit them, because that really didn't happen.
Anyway I talked to Uncle Pat and he was coming out to visit with Mom. He easily and quickly agreed to come here afterwards and watch the littles so I could make my visit.  They played Pokemon Go.  The littles were completely entertained and behaved.  So it was Uncle Pat to the rescue for me to make my snack run and entertainment for them with playing with them for 45 minutes.  Then the little man fell asleep.
We vegged the rest of the day just watching television and drawing.  Too hot to do anything else.

Errands

A day off means trying to get some errands done.  I had procrastinated a good long while on updating several places about the little man's name change.  So today we headed to DSHS and Social Security.  We also went to the bank and the attorney's office. Tried to get an oil change but service was completely booked up all day.  Basically a good day getting our errands done.
I believe the only entities that I need to inform about the name change now are medical ones.  :)

Done

And this session of swim lessons is done.  They both had a good time and learned a lot.  I actually watched the little man swim on his back today.  Just amazing. I love watching her jump in the water.  

I have decided that we will take another break now.  The fall and winter are such busy times for us.  So we will concentrate on all the other stuff going on.  Like school starting in three weeks.  Wow.  

More Ups and Downs

Mom calls and then tells me that she can't work her phone.  I'm not sure how she is calling me then.  Maybe she is getting help and that is okay.  That works.  I just kind of laugh at that.  I have a lot more laughter than tears because it is all one or the other.
So we had this conversation about how she feels.  And how she feels is the only thing important to her even if what she feels happened didn't.  And there certainly is no way to counter that.
I went to visit again as she is forgetting that I even visit.  When I got there Katie was visiting her and hearing stories about Dad.  On her way out she told me good luck and to call if I needed them.  That was ominous.  But it went fine.  She did again tell me how she has felt but insists she doesn't feel that way anymore.....even though she left me a voicemail an hour before saying how she felt.
We talked about politics.  We talked about the littles.  I gave her one of the little woman's rocks.  It had a face painted on it and Mom loved it.  We decided that maybe Mom needs some paper and pencils and can draw some things herself.  Worth a try.
So it is up and it is down.  And it is never going to get better than it is right now.  But I had a good visit with her, The last good day like this was in June when we were camping.  They are definitely getting fewer and fewer and further between.

Speaking of Technology

So in 2014 Dave built me a new computer.  And it works mostly fine.  It has a couple of issues, but nothing to worry about right away.
At work we just upgraded to Windows 10.  That is what made me realize how outdated some of my software is.  My OS is Windows 7.  Monica had commented about the clearing out of all the old Windows 7 textbooks.  She seemed surprised when I told her I still use it at home.
Now it was outdated when Dave put it on my new machine.  But it was a legal copy and one we knew how to work and use and it could still have bugs fixed.
I am aware that my days of use are numbered and I will need to replace this machine.  And I'm not looking forward to that.  Dave was my guy for all things computer and I didn't have to learn any of it that I didn't want to.  Again I am in that position of learning new skills.  Guess the computer will be one of them.  Maybe next year.  Either that or we are going to the Florida Keys.  That's a tough choice.

Broke Down

About three months ago one of the littles threw a temper tantrum and in the process the newest mini ipad got broke.  We still used it very carefully, but one tiny little drop did it in.  And so I said I was not buying another one.
We have lived with one for all this time and there are days that is hard.  There are other days where that is a piece of cake.  But I had had enough and so off on the search we went.  First looking at new mini ipads.  No one had them on sale in a bricks and mortar store.  Argh.  Then we discovered that some stores price match including their own online stores.  All online stores except Apple has the mini on sale.
So it was back to Best Buy but not the one we went to the day before.  Well this one had the mini on sale.  Who knew that two Best Buys in the same town would have different prices.  Oy.
But I wanted to check on the kid tablets.  The ones that already come with a pretty tough case.  Talked to the salesman.  He tried to push me towards a normal tablet that a kid could grow with.  I just looked at him and said I will take the kids tablet because by the time the "kid" has outgrown it we would be buying a new one anyway.  Technology changes so fast.
And so now the joy has begun of the fight for the new green "ipad" which is really a Samsung.  Mostly they are able to work it out and take turns.  What I love about the new green one is I subscribed to Samsung kids and they can download all they want of what is available to them and there are no in app purchases or ads.  Should have done this in the first place.  I did not buy them another ipad.

Daddy Time

Mike had social time today.  Tanya brought him to Lake Sacajawea Park so he could spend some time with the littles.  They played on the playground and checked out the lake.  Just being with each other.  The littles both said they had a good time.

Love Traci

Aunt Traci came down again to spend some time with her best friend.  She said she would babysit today, but I wasn't sure it would work out.  She was in a fender bender about a week ago and was still feeling it.  But she said she was up for it.
I ran errands, by myself.  Just a little bit of peace.  Costco and Walmart.  Then afterwards we all went out for dinner at Shari's.  Lemon Sour Cream pie was calling my name.
I'm just so happy that the littles get to spend some time with their aunt.  They need all the family members they can get who want to be in their lives.

Chasing the Stars

We set up a blanket in the back yard figuring it would be the darkest here.  Ha.  The neighbor in the back leaves their back porch light on.  Nice.  So the Perseid Meteor Showers are going on this week. Suppose to be fantastic.
Turns out we went out too early for the best sightings.  We should have waited till midnight, but there was no way I was making that.  So we laid out in the grass and we did see some and we all got excited.  The littles made lots of wishes.  Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of wishes.
We could hear some of the other neighbors getting as excited as we did.  I was surprised by how many stars we can actually see here in town.  We haven't really stargazed since Papa's.  We saw two satellites.  For some reason I always like spotting those.

New Meds

I got off work a little early.  So I thought I would take advantage of the time and take Phoebe to visit Mom.  I'm beginning to have second thoughts about doing this in the future.  Again Phoebe doesn't want to have anything to do with her.  And that sets her off because I did this to them.  And then it goes.....no distracting.
I found myself a chair and sat and waited.  One of the nurses came to find out if I could swing by the pharmacy to pick up some new meds for Mom.  Wait...what?  Well seems that the ativan does nothing so they are trying another med for mood stabilization.  This time one that is taken every day.  I was told she was on a trial of it to see if it helps and if not there was another one they would try.
About that time Mom and Phoebe were making a jaunt around the hallway so I joined them.  And then it all blew to heck.  Good thing for me it was time to go anyway.  So I collected the dog and went about my business.
Well having a little time to think about it I had decided to go pick up that prescription rather than wait until tomorrow.  Swimming lessons were done at 5 so I suspected I still had time and I did.  When we dropped the pills off the night nurse was very happy.  Now we shall see.
But I'm pretty sure I am done bringing the dog to visit if it keeps triggering these anger episodes.  Bringing Phoebe is suppose to make her happy.

Produce

This is the month that I start paying for the little man's daycare.  This month it is $140 a week.  That puts a big hit on the budget.  So I had to tell my friend at the Urban Snail that I had to quit buying her produce.  It's wonderful, but kind of pricey when you look at outlay.  The $25 that I give to her would buy a lot of kid snacks of a different sort.  I'm the only one eating her produce.  So I had to make a choice even if I was sad.
So today I returned her baskets and jars.  She gave me a container of tomatoes, some grapes and some fig butter. Well the littles found the grapes and ate them.  Wow.  And I have done a good number on the cherry tomatoes.  We appreciate the love Rachel.
Hoping that next year we are in a different place again and can go back to supporting her.  And if not maybe we can grow our own.

Oy

When my mom goes off the rails, she always wishes dementia for me.  Statistics say if I live to 85 I have a 50/50 shot so she may be right.  And then she also on the flip side tells me how I better hope that the littles will take care of me.  And so it goes.
That said.....the little woman pops up with what will I be like when I get old.  Will I be like Grammy?  I ask for clarification.  She is worried that I will be mean like her and say horrible things to children.  Now in her mind she means her.  Naturally she hasn't put that together that if I get dementia and she takes care of me, it will be when she is a grown up.  What a thing for a six year-old to even be worrying about.
I just told her that if it happens it won't be for a while and I have no idea how mean I might be. Oy.  Dementia is a cruel harsh disease.
On a side note, I did finally get Mom a new cell phone.  Just a flip phone that I put a few numbers in for her.  Didn't spend a lot because she will lose it in a week or two.

Gifted

I had just been thinking that I needed a friend with a zucchini plant.  Someone who was over run with the squash.  My Aunt Helga taught me how to make this German squash dish and I love it.  But I don't want to be paying grocery store prices all the time.
Well the neighbor came over this evening and asked if we would be interested in some cucumbers and/or zucchini.  We naturally took both.  A couple of those squash are bread size and I love zucchini bread.  Dave's cousin Karen was the one who gave me a great recipe for that.
Lucky us being gifted such wonderful food.

Feeling It

The biggest accomplishment today was getting our piles of yard clippings picked up.  All day I have had really tight leg muscles and it just makes me lazy.
Pat came out to visit Mom and then he swung by here so I could go visit her with the dog.  She was having a good day.  She reminded me that I always have resources for helping with daycare and daily living.  It makes me laugh when I compare that to being fired because I'm spending her money.  Anyway it was a good visit.
Laziness had me on the couch watching "Fast and Furious" movies.  I thought I had watched them.  Well apparently I only watched the first one and maybe one of the ones after "Tokyo Drift".  Today I watched the second and third in the series.  Yeah.....No Vin.  That cameo at the end of Tokyo does not count.  Naturally there are no more on Netflix.

Yard Work

The little man and I spent some time working in the yard.  Starting some early fall clean up.  All the irises are turning brown.  The lambs ear was done as were the daisies.  So we snipped out what we could and pulled some weeds.  Started on the other side of the driveway this time.  It felt the most in need of some attention.  Maybe tomorrow we will get rid of the piles of debris we had.  ;p  By the time we were done clipping and pulling it was just too warm to do anything else.

The Fair

Almost every year we go to the fair.  This year is no exception.  We spent over six hours looking at animals and riding rides.  Since both kids are taller there are now more rides they can do.  We talked about next year them going with Daddy because then they can do a lot of rides.  Wonder if we talk about that every year.
While we were at the fair two baby goats were born.  The little woman wanted to know why there was blood on the mama.  That got a very short explanation at the time.  I was fascinated with the sheep with odd wool.  It felt really cool and warm.
We also played in the bounce house, watched a dog race, watched some horses racing around poles, ate some good food and had ice cream for them and a peach milk shake for me.  Yum.

Roller Coaster

Every day is different and the same.  Mom goes back and forth between loving me and appreciating what I do and in her words....getting as close to hating me without actually hating me and firing me from being her POA.  According to her on those bad days....I have kicked her out of her house, shamed her, I'm spending her money and I took her dog away from her.  She keeps telling me how she has contacted an ombudsman to help her with finding someone trustworthy to look out for her.  Oy.
This is so much harder than anything else I have ever dealt with.  And while I know it is never my mom saying these things, but the disease, it doesn't make it any easier to listen to.  And you can't even defend yourself against this.  In the middle of the rant, she actually believes what she is saying.

Anniversary

To celebrate we went out for Chinese food.  Naturally that means the little miss ate french fries.  The little man however ate quite a bit including broccoli.
This family that they are a part of was created this day 32 years ago.  That is the day I married their Papa.  Now Papa had a family and I had a family, but this is the day we joined our families.  And it was a great day.  One of my best days.
So today we celebrated our family.  Light and love Papa, wherever you are.  We think about you every day and miss you.  Yes the wound is not so big anymore and there is scar tissue, but that is how it is suppose to be.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Started with, "look at that mountain". "That is Mt. Hood."  "When can we go to Mt. Hood?" "When we find someone to drive us".  I'm thinking winter, snow, etc.  He pipes up with well "What about your best friend, Doug?"  I just told him I'm not sure Doug likes to drive in snow.  So now I'm thinking we need a trip up to the mountain during the summer time.  Don't need anyone else to drive us to do that. Cool.
Then he realized he is way outnumbered in our house.  There are six females and only him.  So he decided to expand that circle to find some more males.  And he did.  Uncle Pat and Daddy.  Then he was confused for a minute....like that's all?  Then he remembered Frank.  Okay so we have four males.  Guess Frank made a very big impression on the little man if the little man is now going to include him in his immediate circle of family.

Rocking It

And the fun begins.  Nine pallets came in yesterday and today.  We got seven of them completed and put away.  Working hard.  Liz is slightly panicking because of what she expects to come in.  We just roll with it.  We know we can only do what we can do.  And we are good.  Here is hoping for a little slower day tomorrow.  The short sleep nights are catching up to me.
And Mom is back on a roll.  I love this roller coaster.  She wants to fire me and I almost wish it was that easy.  Unfortunately for both of us, it is not.

National Night Out

After all the planned activities of the day, work, day care and swimming lessons, we went to National Night Out.  Met a K-9 named Ivar. Got to watch a demonstration on how the dogs search for drugs.  The kids really liked the swat vehicle.  They got to climb up in it and look around.
After those things they did some games and won some prizes.  The little man was most enthralled with his new kite.  Then they challenged the Rose Court Princesses with their face painting requests.  He wanted to be a tiger and she wanted to be a bobcat.  The Princesses did a pretty good job.  After they were done both kids went and pretended to scare a woman.  Turns out she was part of the program that sponsored the event and she took their picture.  She asked for permission to be able to use it.
They got balloons, stickers, tattoos and fire hats.  They had a great time and I'm glad we went even if I was tired.  It was a long day at work, but worth their smiling faces.  And of course, no trip to Kiwanis Park is complete without time on the tire swing.

Short Day

Yay!  I really appreciate short days after a string of long days.  Looks like we will be working a lot of days this month though.
I also managed to get to the store today and bought all the school supplies for the little woman. Funny how this year is less supplies than last year.  I'll take it though and again everything was on sale this year.  Got to love that.
Took Phoebe to visit Mom this morning before work.  Again Phoebe didn't want to have anything to do with her.  Mom didn't seem to care today as she just went back to sleep rather than pet the dog. I don't know.