And We Played

The weather was divine, so we headed over to Lewisville Park.  We actually took the dog with and she had a good time.  We always park quite a ways from the playground so we get a bit of a walk in first and after.
We spent about two hours there which felt like half an hour.  But the clock doesn't lie.  They played on the playground, met other dogs and played with sticks.  And then the little woman got cold.  No one believed me when I said it would be colder at the river.
Once home the little man and I continued on by playing outside.  He had his new nerf gun and he devised some rules as to whose turn it is.  Well he is a much better nerf shooter than I am.  He is a better hider than I am.  Probably because he is so much smaller and can hide in funny places like under the car. 
We ended the day with some chicken (tuna) hotdish and watching "Zootopia".  It was a very nice New Year's Eve day. 

Shopping

Finally had enough energy and motivation to finish picking up the living room and getting it vacuumed.  We had most of the Christmas stuff picked up, but it seemed like wrapping kept creeping out of corners.  And I was able to get the last of the boxes out.  I had to wait for the recycle bin to be emptied.
Then we spent a little time in the afternoon shopping.  The littles had "money" left from Christmas and wanted to spend it.  The most amazing thing was the shirt the little woman picked up. It was very fuzzy and she liked it and it looked great on her.  It was just a bit off white....which means it won't stay that way long.
The little man picked up a giant nerf gun with two barrels so it shoots 40 times and up to 100 feet.  He thinks it is pretty cool.  Hopefully he will do a little better and not get it taken away right away.  I have a nice collection of nerf guns to give back at some point.  ;p
And now on to the new year.  :)

It's Friday Right?

Woke up and had my coffee.  And that reminds me...my new contigo cups are too big to go under the Keurig.  Argh.  Anyway after drinking my coffee I realized the garbage and recycle didn't get taken out.  So I rush around like a chicken with its head chopped off.  Got my shoes, rounded up the last of the stuff to go in the cans and got them out.  I was amazed that the recycle truck hadn't come yet but was glad I made it.
Later in the day all the stuff is still there.  And it hits me.  Garbage and Recycle are coming on Saturday this week.  And while I thought it was Saturday when I woke up.....it's only Friday.
I love being sick.  I'm ready for it to all go away and get back to normal now.  ;p

No Talking Yet

I tell you what you don't do when you can't talk.  You do not, under any circumstances, yell at kids.  Oh that hurt.  And it may have contributed to still not being able to talk today.  Every once in awhile a little bit of voice would come through.  So I think I am starting to be on the mend.
The website about the flu said the illness can hang on for two weeks.  Hopefully not but if it does , I am asking for no more new symptoms. I haven't talked for five days already.  I don't feel bad.  I just have a remaining cough and I can't talk.  The littles did not get laryngitis.  That would have been funny.  ;p

No Talking

So I still have no voice.  And it is so weird to be at work and not talk.  I can't ask questions.  I can't contribute to any conversations.  It is just bizarre.  But I do manage to get in my zone and get all my work done.  I'm in charge of web orders this week and then the receiving.  We have a week and a half until Winter Rush.  Maybe I will be able to talk tomorrow. 

Glad

The littles never cease to amaze me.  Since this is my third rodeo I am doing things differently.  And I made that choice to do so.  I get each child four presents for Christmas and then their Santa gift.  I've already talked about Santa so you know there is no over the top gift coming from that direction.  I'm not the only one that gives them gifts.  So this year they actually ended up with nine plus one from Santa.  Nine is still a pretty good number. 
So we opened gifts yesterday and they were happy with each and every one.  I was not too sure how the little man's fancy clothes from Mommy or the underwear from me were going to go over.  Both were exclaimed over.  And when we were done opening presents there were no whines wanting more.  There were no tantrums of not getting what they wanted.  It was so nice and I was so proud of them. 
Maybe the way I am doing it is right.  We spent time from Thanksgiving till Christmas doing Christmas things.....PIR, looking at lights in neighborhoods, baking cookies, etc.  Christmas Eve was just about being together.  When it comes down to it it is the togetherness that is the longest memories. 
And yes, it makes me sad when I see others who get spoiled during the season.  And I have to remind myself about how I am shaping values for a lifetime. I could go into debt and create these over the top Christmas scenes, but I can't make myself do it.  I no longer feel the need to compete with others.  And I have to remind myself sometimes when I get sad.  The littles aren't sad. 
When I asked the little woman what her favorite gift was she immediately told me the small gift of little pet shop animals from Daddy. So for her it really is about the connections to each other. Reaffirms my decisions to go for the experiences and a few small presents. 

Horrible Santa

Wait...what?  I'm not trying to disrespect the fun of Santa Claus.  But sometimes you have to wonder.  The littles are in school so comparisons are going to be done.  That kid got some extravagant gift and this kid got a doll.  Where is the fairness in all of that?  I figured this is the year that the glimmer goes out on the myth.  I just expected it to be in a week when they go back to school.
Remember that my little man wanted an electric dirt bike.  And those start at about $200.  So no, Santa is not bringing that.  The little man and I had a talk about how Santa doesn't really do big gifts and he shouldn't.  So instead he wanted a remote control motorcycle.  A much more reasonable request.  The little woman never wavered from her desire for a Snackin Sara. 
So Santa came and brought a rc motorcycle and a Snackin Lily because Sara is a lot more money.  Santa brought an extra food/diaper pack with Lily to make up the difference.  Well the little woman was thrilled.  I don't think she even realized it wasn't Sara.  The little man is thrilled and it is all good. 
Where Santa becomes horrible is when he brought gifts to their little sister.  I don't have to deal with blatant inequality from other kids. I get plenty of it right here.  This is what Jazzlynn got.  And I don't begrudge her presents.  There is no way I can explain this to the little man who really wanted that dirt bike.  The argument I used to get him to change his mind just blew out the window.  Thanks Santa. 

Guess it is just about time to retire Santa in our house.  

Christmas Eve 2017

The day started off with snow which made me a liar.  I had told the little woman there would not be snow for Christmas.  She let me know I was wrong about that. So they dressed in their snow gear and headed out to sled in the half an inch of snow on the neighbor's driveway.  They had a good time.
And I can't talk.  What a turn this flu has taken.  I think we made a wise decision in going out for Chinese food.  I had went online and found out which restaurants would be open tonight and had good reviews.
We went to China Cook on St. Johns and it was lovely.  The best bbq pork we have eaten in a long time.  All the food was really good.  We will go back.  Mom seemed a little shocked at the bill.  $67 for five of us with two of us having a cocktail from the lounge, and an appetizer.  Very very reasonable.  I always forget that Mom is thinking it is a different year than it is.  ;p
We decided to go this route because of me being sick all week.  I have no oomph.  I couldn't find a movie for us to watch and I'm pretty sure Mom is beyond sitting through one anyway.  So Pat picked Mom up and we took her home.

The littles are now settled in watching "Wall-E."  Love that movie.

Life's Curve Balls

Not for our family today.  But what happened to others makes me appreciate what we have.  A gal I went to high school with and reconnected with at the reunion turns out to be sociable, personable, genuine and outgoing.  All those opposite personality traits from me (except I am genuinely me).  We became friends on facebook so I have gotten glimpses into her life.  Her father died this morning.  From all posts he must have been one hell of a man.  The little blip that you almost don't catch is that he had dementia. Naturally that is going to pull on one of my own heart strings.  Where her life is is where mine is going.  Lisa and I would have a lot to talk about.
While that was going on, Gabriel died.  About a year ago I had one of those little sidebar things showing groups that friends like trying to entice me to follow more groups.  Just a facebook thing.  So Nita and Traci were following or liked Gabriel's Giant Journey.  Gabriel was born with Weaver syndrome which is overgrowth to explain simply.  Then he a neuroblastoma, another heart string for me. He underwent many surgeries and chemotherapy's.  Just when they thought it was all good he got leukemia.  Leukemia can be a side affect from chemotherapy.  Gabriel is the son of one of Mike's good friends from back in the day before hard drugs.  Justin spent many hours in our company.  And so I watched from the sidelines as this family went through the last year of this horrible ordeal.  Gabriel turned seven this year.  Too young to have gone through all he went through.  Now he is at peace.
I send lots of light and love to these two families.  Their heartbreak must be crushing.  Life and its curve balls makes me appreciate that today we are okay.  Today we breathe, love, laugh and just be with each other.  I hope that Lisa and Justin find their own peace when they can.  They have big holes in their hearts that aren't ever going away.

For the Love of Cats

I love cats.  Always have.  When I was a kid I asked and was always told no.  My dad did not love cats.  He believed that cats only existed to live in barns and be mousers.  I did have a cat for a brief while when Dad didn't live with us and before we moved out west. It was so sad to leave that cat.
And then I didn't have a cat again until I grew up and lived with Dave.  I think Dave was a cat person also because we never had less than two cats it seemed.  We had dogs and we loved dogs, but we were cat people.
My brother is a dog person.  My sister is a dog person.  And then her daughter fostered these kittens.  Well one of those fuzzy orange and white kittens stole my sister's heart and he had a new home.  She is enjoying all the antics of a kitten.  Like all cats he likes small enclosed places.  He is a bundle of love.  My sister got so lucky the day she got him.

Yes That Happened

So two days of a mild headache left me believing that I had gotten past this flu bug without too much brouhaha.  Ha.  Woke up this morning to a horrible headache, coughing, etc.  Full blown.  Called work, called daycare and then tried to rest. 
Very hard to rest when the littles were feeling much better.  And they wanted to play and eat and just needed me to do things.  Oy.  Anyway I did get a nice couple of hours in the middle of the day.  But I know it wasn't enough to get over the top of this bug. 
The little man was the lucky one, like normal.  He had one real down day.  The little woman had two.  Here is hoping I only have two.  Christmas is coming up on us quick and we are not ready.  Guess it is what it is. 

Two Days

Two days down.  The little man is much better today.  The little woman is somewhat better.  She has been awake most of the day, but still just laying around on the couch or in bed.  I tried to take a nap.  That normally doesn't work that well with the littles and today was no exception.  My headache is a little worse today.
The little woman was suppose to have girl scouts tonight and they were going to perform their play.  I let the leader know this morning that the little woman was not going to make it.  Less than an hour later the notice went out that the play was postponed as half the girls had the flu.  Makes me wonder if we got it from one of them or if we gave it to them.  We may never know. 

Oy The Flu

We came home from work/daycare yesterday and the little man comments about his funny cough.  I just figured he was catching a cold.  They both felt a little warm, but maybe not....they like to snuggle under blankets and it always makes them warm.
Oh no.  We wake up today and they are both down for the count.  Cough, stuffy heads, sore throats, headaches, fever and achy limbs.  I was on board with colds till we hit the fever and aches.  Looked it up and the exact symptoms for the flu this year and it came on fast.  Just like it said online.  So I'm pretty sure they got the flu. 
Me, I've had a headache all day, but just a little one.  Still waiting to see.  Trying to remember if the little man got a flu shot when he got his vaccines for school.  We spent all day lazing on the couch and in bed.  Just where we needed to be. 
I'm at the point that what we didn't get done for Christmas, we just didn't get done.  Two different illnesses this month and a work schedule that had me working a lot just isn't conductive to getting other things done.  Thank goodness for online shopping. 

Betty's Chocolate

It's almost a tradition.  Every year we get Aunt Betty chocolate for Christmas.  Usually from Costco.  We've done the world chocolates and the ones coated in cocoa, and others.  This year I was doing my usual Costco run and they had a big bag of Ghirardelli peppermint bark.  Usually the bag is not that good of a deal, but this one was.  So I picked it up for Betty.  Score.
Ha.  I left it on the counter with the other Costco things...batteries for presents, socks for presents, etc.  Went to bed a little before the kids as they were watching a movie.  They came to bed and we went to sleep.  When we woke up the next morning, the little woman comments about the minty stuff I like.  Wait..what?  They had found the peppermint bark and proceeded to open it and eat a few.
After a deep breath I figured it was okay.  There is a lot in that bag.  Just means finding a new bag.  And it's all good. 
Then the little man found where I hid the rest.  He searches for the things he knows is here.  So it is sitting out and I just can't resist peppermint bark so I grab one out of the bag.  He sees me and informs me that those are for Aunt Betty.  Little whippersnapper.  It's still all good, but I don't know if Aunt Betty is getting any peppermint bark or not.  ;p

Pet Rats

So when I went to pick up the little woman from girl scouts last night, she insisted I come in and see Emily's pet rats.  And aren't they so cute?  No, they are rodents.  Now I always wanted a gerbil or a hamster when I was a kid.  Never got one.  My dad said no. Because they are rodents.  When I grew up and could have had any pet that I wanted, it seemed I wanted cats more than rodents.  And so it is.
Well the little miss thinks pet rats are now the coolest thing, but she seems to understand we won't be having one.  She wanted to know if she could have one when she is a grown up.  Yup, if she still wants one.
The whole time I am watching her with this rat I am thinking about our rat and our exterminator.  Maybe she doesn't quite understand that the exterminator is setting out bait to kill our rat.  I'm certainly now not looking forward to any kind of conversation about that.  That said...no new signs of our rat so maybe, just maybe, we finally did it in. 

Busy Day

The littles got into a help mode.  The little man made the bed and vacuumed.  The little woman helped pick up and got dressed for a party.  And then we were off to a birthday party at one of the local taekwondo studios.  They had a blast.  They broke boards, played balloon races and dodge ball.  They had pizza and cake.  It was grand.  I was very impressed with Master Oh.  He works very well with children. May have to check into lessons for the little man.  Have to give that a little more thought. 
After the party the little woman had to go to a special Girl Scout meeting.  They are getting ready to present a play at the assisted living place that they have their meetings.  So they needed time to get the set ready and practice. 
The little man and I went and picked up Grammy and went to Pat's for dinner.  He made lasagna.  We played Nintendo.  I haven't  played in a very long time and I still love it.  Probably a good thing we don't have a Nintendo game system at home.  ;p
Oh the topper of the day was the little woman decided she no longer wanted long bangs so she cut them.  She didn't do a horrible job and we will live with what she did.  Afterall it is her hair and her choice.  Just wished she would have said something and gotten a little help. 

Longer Day

The work hours were the same as yesterday.  The help was the same as yesterday.  And yet it seemed like a longer day.  I think because we still weren't as busy as I expected us to be.  When I left work on Wednesday we still had 1000 rentals to be returned.  I know we got no where near that many. 
Brenda and I got all the ones that came in processed, signs picked back up, deliveries made and a small amount of receiving.  I found a little bit of time to work on some freight logs.  It just felt like a really long day. Next week back to normal kind of hours.

Long Day

It was a long day at work today.  Liz is taking a long weekend.  It is the final two days of buyback.  It was suppose to be super busy.  It wasn't.  Brenda was able to complete a project for Monica while I kept up on the rental returns.  There was almost no receiving to do. 
That said....eight hours days are long whether I have to work hard or not.  Today would classify as a mid ground day for working.  We put on a lot of steps running back and forth to the buyback room and then putting the rentals we are keeping, back on the shelves. 
One more long day and then back to fours.  Until Rush in three weeks. Tomorrow we may pay for what we didn't get today.  Oy.

Bait Check

It's been a week since we laid the bait traps.  So Bill came back today to see how it was going.  The first trap he checked was outside.  He said as he came around the corner the stray orange and white cat went under the house.  If the cat went under it means there is no rats under there.  But no bait was ate. 
Then he came in to check the trap in the crawl space.  And it was gone.  Don't know about the bait.  The whole trap was gone.  Now it is too big to come out the vents so it is some place under the house, but not anywhere close to where he set it.  Weird.
So he set a new trap, again outside.  This time he is trying the other side of the house.  And he will come back in a week to check.  This week I have not heard a rat at all.  Here is hoping we got it. 

Family Holiday Dinner

Tonight was the holiday dinner where my mom lives.  The little man and I attended.  One of us ate and the other said he wanted McDonalds.  It was prime rib, potatoes au gratin, salad and green beans.  They served candy cane mousse for dessert.  It was a little too minty for my taste. 
Mom was glad we came and she seemed to enjoy herself.  Sitting there with her I realized (as I often do) how much I miss her.  There is still some of her there, but not like she was for most of my life.  Dementia is a  harsh disease. And all we can do is take it one day at a time and get through it. 
One of the other residents came and chatted at me.  I think it kind of made mom mad.  Afterwards she wanted to know what had transpired.   I told her the woman had thought I was someone else and then Mom was okay.  Said it was that danged dementia.  Yup.

Shopping

It was my one day off this month without the kids.  They are on winter break next week.  So my plan was to get the Christmas shopping done for them.  Or should I say for the little man.  I'm almost done with the little woman. 
And when I was done, I had gifts for my brother, my mother and the little woman and one little gift for the little man.  He is my difficult one this year.  I don't want to get him junk, but I don't want to get anything good that he will break too soon either.  It's a quandary.
So I tell him about not finding him anything and he gives me this look like I'm so stupid.  He then says he wants "toys".  Well duh.  I'm still in a quandary, but I'm sure I will get it figured out.  Two weeks and counting down. 
We also had a chat about the fact that Santa doesn't really do outlandishly expensive presents because it wouldn't be fair to other kids.  So he changed his mind from a dirt bike to a remote control motorcycle.  That may be doable. 

Daddy

Oy.  We learned a lot about visiting at Coyote Ridge.  You go get your ticket before you get in the car line to wait to go to the parking lot.  You don't get in the little offshoot, but park on the main driveway...That way you can bypass all those folks who arrived first.  It was amazing to me that we were the eighth car in line and yet we were one of the last ones processed through.  We arrived at 11:00.  We got back to see Mike about 1:15.  It is a lot of sitting and waiting for kids.  But as Mike said...this is probably the only visit to this facility.  He will be moving to camp in a couple of months.  Here is hoping that means Larch.
We spent a couple of hours visiting with him.  The littles had lots to tell him.  Then they played a couple of games with him and colored some pictures.  They took him to the play area and played for awhile.  And they all ate junk out of the vending machines.
Silly me left my card in the machine and then we started out.  Remembered inbetween "gates" and rushed back.  We got lucky and the card was still in the machine.  Otherwise some one would have scored a nice $35 to use on their visit in the machines. 
It was good seeing him.  He looked good and has put weight back on.  Like he always does when incarcerated.  The littles were so happy and I'm glad we spent the time and the money to make the visit happen.  And we did the drive back quicker than the drive up.  Must have been the wind. 

Christmas Came Early

Chad and the gang arrived bringing us lunch and gifts.  The little man got a great bike and he immediately showed off his skills at tricks.  This bike has pegs so the tricks are really going to start now.  He was so happy.  The little woman got a Shopkins Mall.  Chad and Gina helped her put it together and she is just thrilled.  And of course it had a nice box that made a toy for a bit also. 
We had a lovely visit.  I'm am very grateful to have them in our lives.
Then they headed to Portland....had a Blazer game to go to.  And we headed East.  Took a little over five overs to drive to Connell.  We had to stop and have dinner along the way.  Mostly it was a dark drive and we had some whipping winds from Troutdale to the Bonneville dam.   I was almost considering turning back around.  I could not imagine driving like that the whole way down the gorge.  But it stopped and we continued on. 
Our hotel was advertised as no frills and it really was.  Rather old, but it was clean and that was all we needed. 

Weekend

So Chad let me know that he and the troupe were coming down on Saturday to see the kids, if that worked with our schedule.  Well it does.  So we set it up for noonish Saturday.  That way I am still free to drive to Connell if that is what we decide to do.
When I told the little man they were coming, he was a bit upset.  Not that they were coming.  He thought it was going to interfere with seeing Daddy.  And that is very important to him.  I explained that both things can occur this weekend and he was fine after that. 
So this morning Gina texted me to get the wish list from the kids.  They were at Toys R Us shopping for the gifts.  The reason for the visit is to deliver the littles' birthday/Christmas gifts.  We are so blessed that they take time out of their lives to do this for us.  I gave them the list as I know it to be. 
Ky is the littles' biological uncle.  But Chad doesn't have to keep any kind of relationship between Ky and the littles if he didn't want to.  There is no legal relationship, but there is one of the heart.  And I can tell that family is important to Chad and he is showing that to Ky and by association the littles.  Maybe Chad is like me.  Family is important.  But I only put my best efforts into relationships that are appreciated, honored, blessed, and reciprocated.  Since Chad and Ky come down here, when we go north we try and stop to see them also.  Well that and we love Gina. 
I guess when it comes down to it.....all the strangeness of the situation still brought us great family who want us in their lives and we need them in ours.  So we are appreciative, honored, blessed and reciprocate as best we can.  We know we can never give to them what they give to us and it is okay.  It's just family and love.  And in another world Chad could have been their grandpa. 

And so I have decided to make the trip to Connell in two stages.  I just was not up to even the thought of nine hours in the car with the littles.  So I booked a hotel room and we will drive over after our visit with Chad, Ky and Gina.  That will put us at visitation in the early hours of it and then only a 4.5 hour drive home.  It's all good.  And we are all three looking forward to seeing Mike. 

Approved

Looks like the littles and I are going to prison to visit my son.  We started this process a good six months ago.  DOC was having heavy requests for visitation approvals.  And it took me awhile to gather the paperwork that I needed. I also had to get the no contact order dropped. I filled out the online registration for me, which was easy.  I filled out most of the registration for the littles but could not figure out where all the paperwork went.  Understand.....I have two different custody documents for the little woman.  I have guardianship paperwork for the little man and then more paperwork for his name change.  And of course their birth certificates and that was the easy part.
Almost three months later I was denied due to the charge that prompted the no contact order.  And then because I was denied the littles registrations were kicked out.  One of the criteria is who will bring them to visit.  The other was they still needed the paperwork I could not attach.  I was given an email address to complete their registrations.
On my denial, I was able to appeal.  And that took a good long while.  But this week I was given my exception and am now allowed to visit.  So I finished the littles' registrations using the email and I attached all 13 files.  I pointed out that I was now allowed to visit and I did not need a new form 20-441.
One day and the littles were approved for visitation.  Whew.  Mike got the notification of theirs before I did.  He called and wants us to come this weekend.  He hasn't seen his kids in a year.  And I know it is his choices that created this situation.  And I know that there are people who firmly believe that inmates shouldn't have any rights to see their kids, or drug addicts should not, or bad people should not.  I don't fall in that camp.  He is their daddy.  And they love him and he loves them.  And so we will make the trip.  It will be good to see him and when we see him he will be clean and sober and the best he has ever been.
Mike is my son and I have missed him also.  No matter what he has done, he is still my child and I love him.

Exterminator

Bill, the exterminator, came out and checked out my critter damage.  I have rats.  Plural.  Not a whole big family of them, but more than one.  So he set out a couple bait traps and filled some holes.  In a week he will come back and check the traps to see if enough bait got ate.  If so, he will close up the vents under the house that are missing the wire grills.  If not enough bait has been ate, we will wait another week. 
I'm just happy to be finally being proactive.  And Bill gave me some numbers of some contractors he knows who aren't out to overcharge people just because they can.  Yeehaw!

Lights and Leashes Dog Walk

It was a glorious night.  No rain, lovely moon.  Felt like Papa was watching out for us again.  We dressed in layers.  I had gotten some winter undergarments for playing in the snow so we used those.  We had gloves and hats and a huge soft scarf that passed around us.
We started off getting some dinner at Shari's.  Every one behaved.  And then we headed to PIR for the Lights and Leashes Dog Walk.  There are a couple of nights where you don't drive the PIR but walk it.  This is one and every one is welcome to bring their dog.  We opted not to bring our dog and just meet other folks' dogs. 
We estimated that each little met about 200 dogs and they were in their element.  They asked every time.  There were a few shy dogs but mostly just friendly people loving furballs.  The favorites seemed to be the little dogs.  Me, I like the big ones. 
The track is about two miles long and that is a long walk for kids.  But they did it.  I heard a couple complaints near the end but once we were back in the crowd everything was fine.  We lost a shirt along the way.  They got warm and took off jackets for a bit and the little man took off his shirt.  I was carrying it and have no idea when it got dropped.  The little man wanted to go back but I declined.  Who knows how far back it was and his legs were already a bit tired. 
It was a really good activity and they really liked it.  I think the dogs thrilled them more than the lights, but they did enjoy those also.  Another thing I have never done is marked off the list. 

One Day at a Time, One Step at a Time

Making some progress.  Finally finished phone tag with the exterminator.  He is coming out on Wednesday.  Connected with Travis.  Travis used to do contracting work but he is back to doing plumbing now.  So he is going to give me a couple of names and numbers of some guys for siding who are fair.  And then while I had him, I asked about the sump pump.  So later in the week he is coming out to take a look.   My best guest is something simple.  We shall see.  I told him I was too old to go under the house to check it.  He told me he wasn't a spring chicken either.  Ha.  I have a good ten years on him.  So my money trumps. 
But we are taking it all one day at a time and one step at a time. 
The rat has been making this crazy noise.  Found his hole that he just made.  Silly thing. 

Here We Go

It is rather amazing how quickly our diet can disintegrate.  We have essentially quit eating McDonald's.  Granted that is because of a YouTube video, but we will take it.  So we eat at home a lot more.  But it seems like a lot of processed food and a lot of sugar. 
So it was grocery shopping day.  And being aware means making a change.  So we did not buy the usual sugar products.  And I'm sure the complaints will come soon.  But we bought apples and grapes and strawberries.  The strawberries were gone by dinnertime.  Not unusual in that.  We usually buy them on grocery shopping day and they are usually gone by the evening. ;p
We had a complete meal for dinner and the first words out of the little man's mouth were "what are those green things? I'm not eating those."  He was referring to the green beans.  Little man you do not know what you are missing.  He did eat the chicken and the rice and the french bread.  I always find it amazing as to what they are willing to try and not try.
They wanted to try smoothies.  So I made them a smoothie.  Strawberry.  Oh no......not right.  So they each made their own.  With pineapple, strawberries and I'm not sure what else. Oh no......not right for any of us.  I give them props for trying though.  Even the little woman who hates everything. 
So we shall see if we can break the sugar addiction a bit. 

Dave

Three years.  I felt the tug on the heart strings when it was time for Dave to go.  Woke me out of a sleep and I don't believe I have ever felt those tugs before.  It's a connection that life, death, addiction, blame, dishonor or love could not ever sever.  Those heart strings held, but they were tugged and I knew he was going. 
The little man had just turned three when Papa died.  He just turned six.  He has lived half his life with and half his life without Papa.  Most memories have faded, except those we cling to with our videos and pictures. 
The little woman is eight and had more time and a longer bond.  And yet the memories fade for her also.  I find it sad, but they have this foundation that he helped lay for them. 
I still have moments when I am angry with him.  But not as much as before.  I have moments where I think of him with great love.  I wish he would have made different choices, but maybe he couldn't. 
There are people I can talk to and have fun with, but I doubt I'm ever going to find another connection like I had with Dave.  From the first moment we were able to talk about anything and everything and we did.  Some things not till the end, but we managed to hit everything we ever needed to talk about.  Maybe that connection is what blinded me to the alcoholism in the early years.  And maybe not.  I don't dwell on that too much, although it was a big part of our lives. 
I have great memories though.  All the work we did, the trips we took, the life we made.  And I still miss him every day, but life does go on.  And we honor him with our living. 
Light and love Dave.  Keep watch for us. 

From Family to Winter Wonderland

Busy, busy day.  After work I rushed home to collect the gifts for our family birthday party for the little man.  Then we headed to Hazel Dell to pick up Grammy and meet Pat at Round Table Pizza. The littles had a blast in the arcade room.  The little woman was so excited when she won a prize on the claw game.  The little man was happy with his new shoes, his nerf guns and his new game.
After dinner we took Grammy back and then hurried to school for the Winter Wonderland.  The kids made ornaments, decorated cookies, saw Santa and had snacks.  We saw many people we knew.  We did not win any of the raffles or door prizes.  The little woman was most disappointed about that. But it is what it is.  It is fun to want to win, but we can't win every time.
Now that we are done with the birthday celebrations, we can look forward to Christmas.

One Thing at a Time

I am capable of multi-tasking.  I just prefer not to.  So the exterminator finally called me back.  And naturally I wasn't home.  We will play phone tag.  My work day is right in the middle of the day and December is almost here which means I won't have many extra days off.  Oy.  So hard to schedule this.
My understanding is it can take up to a few hours depending on what needs done.  And we won't know that until he is here. 
So one thing at a time.  Phone tag.  And then we can go from there. 

Six

And the little man is six years-old today.  His party was a big success.  He had three guests show up.  Discovered he likes wings.  He ate a good number off the adult platter.  So we brought the rest home for him.  His cake was delicious.
For his party I did the smallest package and it more than worked out well.  We were there on a weekday so it wasn't nearly as busy as a Saturday.  The pizza still isn't that great, but it is edible for kids.
The little man's day started with a call from Daddy and ended with a call from Mommy.  He got nice presents from his parents, guests at his party and the little woman and I.  He celebrated with his class at school with cupcakes.
It was a great day. The funniest thing was when we got home and were working on getting a present out of the packaging, we looked up just in time to see Phoebe, the dog, carrying one of the presents off to stash.  The little man and I looked at each other in disbelief and then he went and retrieved his present. 
We still have the family party coming up.

Home

The little man claimed to still not feel well and the little woman claimed to have a headache.  He had a headache yesterday, so I was thinking oh no......both of them.  So we all stayed home.  We watched movies and played games and did homework.  It was a rather mundane day. 
I'm sure tomorrow we are all going back to our places.  Oh and I can hear the critter now.  Great. 

Sickiepoo

Just as it was time to call it done for the day at work, my phone rang.  It was the school.  The little man was in the health room not feeling well.  He had a small fever.  So I headed to school.  And naturally my red light magnet was working perfectly.  So much so that I had to sit through the fourth plain light three times. 
As I got there they were checking his temperature again.  It was coming down.  We went and got sissy and then home.  He immediately laid down on the couch and went to sleep.  He dozed off and on.  Methinks he may not be going to school tomorrow. 

Still Not Attached

I went for a long long time not having a cell phone.  Never felt the need for it nor wanted to spend the money on it.  Then as life would have it Dave had given me his work one and I fell in love with texting.  I would much rather text than talk.  That was late 2012 I believe.  And since then I have had many phones.  All kinds of scenarios on those. 
In all that time the phone is still not attached to my hip.  I have had people get mad because I don't answer the phone.  I have had people annoyed because I didn't text right back.  I have had phones that don't let me know when a call or text came in.  I find them later, but not at the time. 
Sometimes the phone is in the bedroom as I used it to play my game before sleep.  Sometimes it is in my purse. Sometimes it is in the car. I'm lucky to have never lost it due to being in the car.  Sometimes I  have children on me and I just can't get to it. Sometimes a child has the phone. 
So really if someone calls me on it and I answer, they are really lucky.  I don't even like talking on the phone and prefer not to. I certainly am not going to keep it on my person all the time on the chance that someone is going to call.  Anything important should get a voicemail.  Anything else could just be noise. 

Black Friday

No shopping.  We took rocks and peas to the duck ponds.  Hid the rocks and fed the ducks.  The ducks were so happy.  Even saw a wood duck this time and that was cool.  Before we moved the little man had wanted to try this little girls electric car.  I declined since we were moving on. Moved on down to the section of the park with the playground.  But the girl and her dad followed us so I relented at the playground.  The little woman is just a bit too big for this car.
We decided we would attend the tree lighting at Esther Short Park.  We went and had hot chocolate.  The little man said he did not get enough whipped cream and I tended to agree with him.  But we got them for free since we only had a big bill with us and I was not donating that much.  ;p  We stood in line to see Santa and was about eight groups out when they said Santa was leaving to feed his reindeer.  We could join him later at the Hilton if we still wanted to see him.  Played on the playground and wore off some energy.  Then we went and stood in line for corn dogs and fries.  We were about three groups back when they ran out.  Dang we had a string of bad luck there.  But we sang Christmas carols and we watched Santa light up the tree.
After that we were still hungry so we hit Arby's on the way home.  And it was probably cheaper than those corn dogs and fries would have been.  It was a great day with lots of outside time.

"Coco"

After Thanksgiving dinner and taking Mom home, we decided to go to the movies.  We have been wanting to see "Coco" ever since we saw the first trailer.  I had a ticket for Cinetopia which got me in free.  I only then needed to pay for the littles.  Anywhere else would have cost more. 
That was one really big screen and the movie was divine.  The little woman and I decided we really liked the spirit animals.  The story of Coco is a boy travels to the land of the dead and then must get a blessing from his ancestor to return to the living.  He wasn't happy with the blessing from a great great grandmother and so he was in search of the great great grandfather.  It was about what he learned and what they learned. 
I loved how they brought the final death to light.  I had studied death in a sociology class and one of the things we talked about was the final death in the Mexican culture and it is so beautiful.  How they celebrate the day of the dead.  It was done so beautifully in the movie. 
And the movie was funny and sad and all things inbetween.  After it was over the little woman told me there were a couple of spots that almost made her cry.  She has great empathy already.  It was great for all ages. 

Thanksgiving

I am so blessed. 
We had a lovely Thanksgiving meal.  Mom only complained about the gravy being bland.  And then she kept wondering where the stuffing was and where the fruit salad was.  She had already finished those on her plate.  She wanted to know how long I cooked that bird and how I knew it was done.  It had a timer. 
The little man decided to try the neck meat that I had cut up for the gravy.  And he liked it.  No seasoning, no nothing....just the meat.  The little woman had told me she was going to eat turkey and she did.  I took a picture as proof. 
It was a lovely afternoon.  And then it was done.  Pat rushed off to black Friday at Walmart.  He wanted the 55 inch television they had and he was sixth in line.  Made him happy.  We took Mom home and amazingly enough the front door wasn't locked.  Guess they didn't lock it so early because a lot of folks would be returning. 

Oy! He Did What?

Cleaned and then was ready to start the pies.  It is a small pie year this year.  Only making a pumpkin and a mini chocolate for Pat.  So we get out what we need.  We put the mini crust in the oven and finish up the pumpkin for baking. 
Just as the timer is going off, I go to open the oven to take the crust out and put the pumpkin in, and the little man grabs the self-cleaning lock and locks it.  The self-cleaning lock has a safety mechanism which means the lock doesn't open until the oven has cooled down. 
So with great frustration I turn off the oven and begin the wait.  We managed to have enough dough to make another crust for a mini pie.  After an hour and a half the lock unlocked and we removed a very well cooked pie crust. 
Baked our new shell and the pumpkin and they both came out fine.  Then I could not find the box of chocolate pudding mix.  I don't know if it didn't get home or if it got lost somewhere in transit.  Guess my brother is going to have to eat pumpkin this year. 

Blue Hair

So we tried to koolaid trick to give the little woman blue hair on the ends.  What we learned is that it takes a lot longer than I have patience for.  Blue koolaid really gives you blue fingers.  When it says wear gloves...it is a great idea.  Took me two days to get back to normal colored fingers and nails.  What she ended up with was streaks of very light green hair.  I liked it, but it wasn't what we were going for.  Maybe we will try again one of these days.  I will say it looked really cool when I would pull her hair out of the blue water.  Combined with her hair color it looked like reddish blue oil and just smooth. 

Sweetness

We had a bit of a rough morning.  The afternoon and evening were divine though.  The little man needed a bath to get the purple hair gel out of his hair.  I should have taken a picture....oh that's right...I couldn't find my phone.  He thought it was cool how it made the water pink.  I think he played in the tub for almost an hour. 
When it was snuggle time he asked if he had been a good boy and I told him he had.  He had been so good and so sweet it was like a whole different kid most of today.  Tomorrow could be a whole different story, but for tonight I am grateful for the love and softness that is my little man. 

Vegan?

Today was grocery shopping for the Thanksgiving dinner.  We managed to forget a few things, but we got the main ingredients. 
We hit the turkeys, and as I started to peruse for the perfect size, the little woman pops off with "They kill turkeys?".  Um, yes.  Wait...what?  "You mean animals can be food?"  Um, yes.  I thought for sure I had just created a vegan person.  She is almost a vegetarian as it is. 
Two aisles over she tells me she likes turkey and wants it on her plate at Thanksgiving.  Wait....what?  She hasn't ate turkey since she was maybe three years-old.  I just simply told her I would be happy to put turkey on her plate on Thursday. She's not a vegan.  Whew. 

Constructive Down Day

It just felt like a down day.  And then my phone reminded me I needed to go to the bank.  And I wasn't the only one having a down day.  So it took some persuading but the littles got dressed and ready to go.  We quickly did the bank and then back home.
They decided that since they were dressed they would go visit a friend in the neighborhood.  I contemplated a nap. And then I'm looking outside and thinking, two days and no rain.  Maybe I should take the opportunity to mow.  And so I did.  I think this is the last season for this mower.  It is starting to fall apart.  The handle is zip tied on it.  The gas cap has been ran over and leaks gas while mowing.  The yard does look much better.  It just feels weird to be doing a final mowing half way through November. 
But not as weird as seeing the honeysuckle blooming.  Very odd year. 
We also baked some chocolate chip cookies.  We had save half the dough the last time we made cookies. 

Dishes are Washing

We had family dinner tonight.  Mom was back to telling me that I cooked it wrong.  Pat thought it was fine. Other than that I don't know what to say.
So Pat helped me get the new dishwasher installed.  I didn't tell him that he did it opposite of what I saw on YouTube.  I guess any way works as long as in the end the dishwasher works and there are no leaks. The little man was a big helper in picking things up and fetching tools.  He seemed very interested in how it all worked.
We ran it for quite awhile and every thing was good.  Now an actual load is running.  I'm so happy.  After two months I am so done with hand washing.  And now I don't have to worry about handwashing Thanksgiving dinner dishes. Yay!
And we patched the hole the critter was coming in.  Hope it stays patched.

"It's Bigfoot"

The littles and I attended a play at their school tonight.  The older grades put it on.  It was called "It's Bigfoot".  It was really very cute and funny.  The cast did a wonderful job.  So much better than you might expect from the grade level.  These will be the kids to go on and do high school drama.
The little man did  not want to sit with us, so he sat in front.  He had a better seat.  The little woman insisted sitting on my lap and squirming.  Hopefully we didn't bother the people behind us too much.  At least we were quiet.  And I noticed that the little man sat very still and quiet the whole play.
They had already seen the play earlier in the week during school.  So they knew all the secrets to the story.  And they like to share.  They are funny and I am glad they enjoyed it.  Another great experience for them.

So the new dishwasher was delivered today.  And I got to the hardware store for my supplies.  I kept thinking "If only I knew an appliance man."  Kind of like "If only I knew a plumber," or "If only I knew a fence guy."  This especially went through my mind when I pulled the old dishwasher out and it was hardwired. The sales associate made it sound like I could not really do this job myself and I should pay the $150 to have it installed.  Ha.
So I youtubed how to do it.  YouTube is a wonderful resource.  Even hardwired, that would be $150 to install two hoses and hook up three wires.  Anyway I did get the old dishwasher detached from the hard wire line, but undoing those three wires. Yes, I made sure there was no power going to the lines. And then when they delivered the new dishwasher today, they hauled the old one away.
After all my youtubing and reading online I decided I did not want to hard wire the new one.  So I bought the pigtail to make it work with the electric receptacle under the sink.  My only problem at this point is what to do with the hard wire line coming in that is just laying there on the floor.
Then I'm thinking "If Only I knew an electrician."  Well maybe I do and maybe I don't, but Tom was able to tell me some good advice.  So I capped off the wires and taped them up well with electrical tape.  Pushed the wire back in the hole and then went out and taped up the fuse box where it connects so no one turns it back on.  And I'm good.
Tomorrow my brother said he would help me install.  And tonight the littles think that big box with the dishwasher in it makes a great table. Tomorrow it will be a great fort or something else.
So thanks delivery guys for being on time and quick.  And I love not having to worry about disposing of an old dishwasher.  Thanks Pat for being willing to help me tomorrow and thanks Tom for all the good advice.

One RSVP

We handed out invitations today.  The little man took three to school and I took two to day care and one in the neighborhood.  Well turns out one of the two from daycare doesn't go to daycare anymore.  It is harder to keep track when they only go pretty much after school now. 
The little man delivered to his friend in the neighborhood and then he stayed to play.  When I went to pick him up Yen, his mom, RSVPed that they would be coming and also inviting the little man to their party in December.  He is my social butterfly.
The little woman has already pointed out that only one guest came to her party.  Oy.  Life is just not fair sometimes. 

And the Party is On

So we have a birthday coming up for the little man.  He is always much easier than the little woman.  He is more social and knows more of what he wants.  He doesn't have a need to try and make me wait till the last minute to have information. 
So Chuck E Cheese it is.  He has a guest list of six invitees.  We have a date and time and now I just need to reserve the space. 
His "want for his birthday" list is kind of small.  Trying to get him to add to it.  All he keeps saying right now is he wants the $60 nerf gun at Costco.  I'm pretty sure I'm not buying that.  He also wants an electric dirt bike that only starts at about $200.  I'm pretty sure I'm not buying that.  And a pinata.  Yeah, I'm going to buy that. 

Catch Up

Monday, the day of catching up.  Back to school, work and routine.  We needed to go to the grocery store, since we never made it over the weekend.  I'm not sure how we spent $90 and then I remember we had cat food in the mix.  The poor cats were complaining and wanted food. 
Never ending laundry.  I did some over the weekend, but I don't think I ever truly get caught up on it.  Lately we seem to be washing a lot more blankets than normal.  It is an almost obsession they have....the blankets have to be perfectly clean for them to use them.  ;p  I get it if you spill milk or food on it.  But why, oh why, do I have to wash a blanket that just got water on it.  I will never know.  And neither will they until they do their own laundry. 
I was reading an article about picky eaters.  I'm not in that boat alone with a child like that.  And while I say she comes by it naturally, as I am a picky eater, she is way beyond me.  There was a girl in the article who right at her level.  The article talked about therapy.  I may try a couple of the ideas they presented and see if we can make a small change. 

Better Down Weekend

After we got back from Dizzy Castle on Friday, we went nowhere else.  We spent the whole weekend at home.  The car never left the driveway.  I was going to say I never left the driveway, but the little man pointed out that we played in the street with his crossbow and shooters.  He loves when I go out and play with him.
We got some work done.  Did a super clean on their bathroom.  They have finally quit making such a water catastrophe when they play in the tub that my floor is not get "scrubbed" a few times a week.  So I did the hands and knees things.  I don't mind it when it is that small of a space.  Didn't like it when my hand slipped on the water and I fell.  I was just thankful I was already on the ground. 
Picked up the living room numerous times.  Hopefully I can get it vacuumed tomorrow before work. ;p
We only had a couple of meltdowns as we work our way back to normal routine living.  Thank goodness. 

Ups and Downs

This life.  It is so full of ups and downs.  It is so full of blessings and not so blessed things.  It is full of strife and laughter.  Hugs and cuddles and kisses.  I try to share it all.  Try to be honest in my perceptions and realize that sometimes my truth is not others. 
I do not find it a blessing to still have our rat.  The rat is smart enough to leave the trap alone since it had its mishap with it.  And let me tell you as a side note....I don't know how it survived that trap.  The little man tripped it with a broom handle and it broke the broom handle.  I do not find it a blessing to still be washing dishes by hand.  I don't like washing dishes by hand....I'm lazy like that.  But in this scenario what are blessings are having dishes to wash, having the food to dirty the dishes, having running water and a roof over our heads. 
It is not blessed to have to deal with children meltdowns.  And I have heard all the advice about spank them more, punish them more and get them under control more.  I've heard the words, seen the faces and felt the annoyance.  I am blessed for all the resources I have been finding that tells me my way is better.  Not perfect.  Spankings don't work here.  I already know this from experience.  What works is lots and lots of patience and finding root causes.  And we have days where we don't go anywhere so we don't subject the rest of the world, with perfect parents and children, to our struggle.  Children who have suffered trauma like pregnancy drug use are different than children not in that situation.  The littles are blessings all by themselves.  But I am also blessed with a new day every day to practice patience and try and learn new things in regards to them. 
We are not blessed for the littles to have the nuclear family. A lot of people don't have that.  We are blessed to have each other.  We are blessed for the effort my son makes from incarceration.  All the phone calls and emails he sends them. I laugh when he feels all these emotions about the kids that he just doesn't feel when he is using drugs.  And while it is not funny, it kind of is. 
So we are blessed in all our basic needs being met.  We are blessed with me having a job that allows a lot of leeway in work hours.  We are blessed with a great daycare and schooling.  We are blessed with each other and our small family here.  We are blessed with the support of the Midwest family.  We are blessed with the friends we make along the way and the adventures we go on.  We may not have a lot of material possessions, but we have a lot of love and memories.  And we deal with the ups and downs as they come.  We roll with it.  Even the downs show us all the things we are blessed with. 
So we appreciate all the help we get.  We don't mind the person who comes to read the blog just to see our struggles.  We are grateful for all our experiences....well except for that last dog bite that got four stitches. 

Dizzy at Dizzy Castle

All week I had promised the little man a trip to Dizzy Castle. All week the little woman resisted.  I think simply because he wanted to go.  Today was the day and she finally relented mid afternoon.  Naturally it is a no school day and the place was packed.  I didn't think we could use our coupon since it was a holiday.  Annoying when the people ahead of us did.
Anyway they played for an hour and a half.  Then the little woman was hungry.  It was not planned to eat there.  I had told both of them to be sure and eat at home before we left.  You guessed it...one of them did not.  So we headed homeward and grabbed a hot and ready pizza and called it dinner.
While at Dizzy Castle I saw Trudy.  We last ran into each other at the Children's Museum a little over a year and a half ago.  Funny how we both live in Battle Ground but only run into each other other places.  Kind of like that post the other day about not running into people I know.

Maternity Blues

Cassie has been posting the blues on facebook.  Part of it is the natural feelings of being fat.  She is getting closer and closer all the time to having the baby.
Turns out she plans on being on maternity leave over the holidays.  And so that means no income from her.  That has all of it's own issues.  It is hard to plan for that when you live pretty much paycheck to paycheck.  So she is posting about the Xmas blues.  She and David only ask for help with their bills during this time.  Then she asks for anyone to please bless her three year-old with gifts for the holiday.  Okay.  I'm sure many of their friends will step up to the plate.  As well as Jazzlynn has grandparents there and aunts and uncles.  Even if there aren't as many presents for Jazzlynn as Mommy may want...the holiday will still be special for her. 
Jazzlynn already is blessed.  She has a big family there to love her.  She has an extended family in the friends of Cassie and David, And of course she has Tami, the babysitter, the happiest woman you could ever meet.  Lucky little girl. 

Girl Scouts

Sometimes you have to figure out what the littles are trying to say.  The phrasing will be off.  So I finally understood that I come back too soon to pick the little woman up from Girl Scouts.  She is really liking it.  But she is not liking her little brother coming in and interrupting.  So I think the solution is going to be us waiting in the car and her being more pro active.  She will have to walk herself in and out.  And it really shouldn't be a big deal since she does it at school every day.
I drove over to South Portland and found the Girl Scout store.  Got all her supplies she needs while she is a Brownie.  :)  The woman there told me how they are starting to really promote STEM things.  That is a great thing.  Hoping the little woman stays interested for a long time.

Bound To Happen

I live in a small town.  And yet I am amazed at how many people I know that I never run into.  There are only so many stores to shop at, restaurants to eat in and place to go.  So I just find it amusing.
So today I ran  into Tanya and Adrianna at Walmart.  This would be the place I would expect it to happen if it was going to.  Especially after Walmart opened in our town.  And yet until today it never has.
So I voiced my opinion on the Grammy shopping scenario.  Pointed out that she used it as an excuse to cut ties and told her it was okay.  She apologized and naturally said she should have done a lot of things different.  Same story different day.  I accept the apology and expect nothing.  Actions are louder than words. 
But I also told her she should make up with Catie...explained how I told Catie to unfriend me on facebook if that was what it took.  Well you know when one person says something and then it is told and told.  The whole story changes.  She explained her side of that issue and it rang true.  I totally understand how Catie feels, but I can see both sides.  It's not part of my story in the first person where it is hard to see the other side. 
Tanya told me about her new job and I told her about my rat.  I was at Walmart looking for some poison.  Which I did not find.  Adrianna is getting tall, but I don't think she will be as tall as Elizabeth.  And that was that. 

Duh

Sometimes I am so dense.  When I got to work I had a text from Traci letting me know that she had decided again to not move down here.  She had went back and forth a couple of times over the weekend.  My first reaction was really relief.  And then it hit me.  The little man felt like I did with a little bit of anxiousness, fear, change.  And that explains all those meltdowns.  He has a meltdown when he can't express what his emotions are doing. 
The last time we had a roommate...Grammy...it didn't work out very well.  He was also worried about me leaving them with Traci.  He was upset about her getting his room because it has the lock on the door.  He was just feeling put out.  And I wasn't looking at it from his perspective. 
Hopefully we can get back to some sense of normalcy soon now that we know what the problem was.  I think it is time to clean his room and maybe do some more to it to make it "his". 

More

We had more meltdowns today.  But not as many as yesterday.  Trying to figure this out and not having a lot of luck.  The time change did him in tonight and he is asleep.  Hopefully that means an easy morning.  Oy.

Meltdowns Galore

Oh what a day.  The little man seemed to have a meltdown every time I turned around.  And he chose to stay inside all day.  It was a very long day and I am ready for bed.  He fell asleep early.  Guess he wore himself out.

A New Beginning

Aunt Traci asked if she could move in with us. So we had a chat about that.  The little woman was all for it right off the bat.  The little man was not.  He didn't understand.  He thought it meant she was going to live with them instead of me.  Once he understood that I wasn't going anywhere then he was fine with the idea.
So we told her yes she could.  But there are a few ground rules right up front.  I want no misunderstandings.  I'm not her parent or her keeper.  I do not need to know every thing she is doing and I'm not going to worry about her.  She is a grown up and I expect her to act like one.  I think maybe she appreciated that.
Then there is no marijuana here.  If she chooses to partake in that...it has to be somewhere else.  Now I know it is legal.  But this is our home and we don't like the smell of it.  We don't  like how it makes people unmotivated, not really there, etc.  I'm a caretaker of two littles.  I'm not looking out for grown ups also.
Her boyfriend is naturally welcome to visit.  He does not, nor will he ever live here.  We do.
She agreed and said she would be happy to babysit on occasion.  So there we go.  She is moving in next week.  We shall see how it goes.

The Lull is Over

Been working on my returns at work.  And really looking forward to my long weekend with a day on either end sans children.  Ha.  My work schedule changed and I work tomorrow and Monday.  At least the following weekend is a three day weekend for sure.  Holiday. 
I have one return left to do so I made great progress.  And now the winter books are starting to arrive.  We walked in today to find boxes on the counter and the cart was full.  Time to gear up.  It's all good.  The ebbs and tides of work. 

It Won't Always Work This Way

For Halloween I let Audrie lead.  She chose which houses she went to.  She choose the pace we moved at within reason....not faster than I can walk.  She took over the treats and told me she wanted to do it.  And she did. 
Even after the little man came back, there was no whining.  No crying.  No fighting.  Nothing.  Just a good time for both of them. 
In the past I would be encouraging of not skipping houses and making sure they did enough.  Don't quit after the first block.  This year I just went with her flow. 
It's one of the suggestion for highly sensitive.  Letting her lead.  She knows what she can and can't handle.  And obviously I do not always. 
Everything was just easier, even bedtime.  She can't always lead and it won't always work like this, but we sure enjoyed our night.