Dave

Three years.  I felt the tug on the heart strings when it was time for Dave to go.  Woke me out of a sleep and I don't believe I have ever felt those tugs before.  It's a connection that life, death, addiction, blame, dishonor or love could not ever sever.  Those heart strings held, but they were tugged and I knew he was going. 
The little man had just turned three when Papa died.  He just turned six.  He has lived half his life with and half his life without Papa.  Most memories have faded, except those we cling to with our videos and pictures. 
The little woman is eight and had more time and a longer bond.  And yet the memories fade for her also.  I find it sad, but they have this foundation that he helped lay for them. 
I still have moments when I am angry with him.  But not as much as before.  I have moments where I think of him with great love.  I wish he would have made different choices, but maybe he couldn't. 
There are people I can talk to and have fun with, but I doubt I'm ever going to find another connection like I had with Dave.  From the first moment we were able to talk about anything and everything and we did.  Some things not till the end, but we managed to hit everything we ever needed to talk about.  Maybe that connection is what blinded me to the alcoholism in the early years.  And maybe not.  I don't dwell on that too much, although it was a big part of our lives. 
I have great memories though.  All the work we did, the trips we took, the life we made.  And I still miss him every day, but life does go on.  And we honor him with our living. 
Light and love Dave.  Keep watch for us.