We sucked big time this holiday. We have more mothers to celebrate than we do fathers. So we totally spaced off sending a card to Bill. And we really suck in that we didn't send anything to Mike. He is incarcerated and I just didn't think about it. The little woman did inform me that she made a card at school. It is in her backpack.
We went to the park and saw all these dad's playing with their kids. And of course my heart broke. But it is what it is. The kids played until they were tired.
Then we headed up to the cemetery and visited my dad. We talked about him and about Papa. And that is about as big of a celebration as we are going to do.
I had an epiphany the other day. I belong to a relatives raising children group and someone commented on a change in their child about first grade. Well yes, yes we have had a change in first grade. I never would have put it together if someone hadn't said "oh yeah. That is when they get a big dose of reality that most kids live with Mom and/or Dad." All the kids talk about their parents. They make gifts for Mom and Dad for the Mom's and Dad's day and any other holiday they make things for. Wow. I have no other great insight other than it explains the change a bit.
And so we continue to take life one day at a time. We breathe. We love. We paint. And it is all therapeutic. We will survive it and hopefully be stronger on the other side of it.
So today we miss our dads. The littles were lucky enough to have Papa for awhile. I know their memories are fading, but he helped create a foundation. He gave them love. And they loved him.
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