The little man is just filled with questions this week. First he wants to know when he will go back to a first grade classroom. I explained about behavior and we would have to wait and see. It depends on him. I think he got it.
Then the big question came again, but more. Why does he live with me? And he gets that Mommy made some bad choices. I explain the judge said he will live with me. Then he wants to know how the judge knew she was making bad choices....did he visit her house? Well that is a tough one. And I did not explain it all. I said she was doing drugs and he said "ohhhh." I did not tell him she was homeless when he was born and I did not tell him that because she did drugs, he did drugs and that is how they knew she was making bad choices.
An onward. He said Jazzlynn lives with Mommy so she must not be making bad choices anymore. Oh we did not go into that. So he wanted to know why he couldn't live with her now. And I said it was up to a judge and it is a lot of process for that to happen. And Mommy would have to do that. I did not tell him that it would mean she would have to come back here and take care of her warrants. There would be hoops to jump through and money to pay. None of which involve me.
What I did tell him, I was happy the judge let him live with me, that I love him and I would be lost without him. And for now that seems like it was enough. Sometimes it is hard to know just how much of the story to tell. How much is helpful, not hurtful or vengeful. Dealing with all these behaviors that the therapists say comes from the drug use invitro just make me angry at their mother. That she had over a year after he was born to get her act together and then be a parent, but didn't makes me angry. That she moved 2000 miles away makes me angry. But it certainly is not this little boy's fault. He is the one who pays the price all the way around.
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