Halloween

I am old hat now.  Both kids went off to trick or treat by themselves.  Or whoever they met up with.  They were both gone for a couple of hours while I held down the fort.  The little man came home with frozen fingers.  And then he quickly fell asleep on the couch.  He got worn out. 
I ended the night with some candy left over.  We also still had most of our full sized bars we got for friends.  Most of the friends didn't stop by.  Was glad the two next door brought cousins and that made a dent in the bars left. 

Parent Teacher Conferences

I was rather disappointed.  The little man's teachers decided we didn't need a conference since we just had an IEP meeting.  Well yeah there was a meeting at the beginning of October that I did not attend.  So I really have no idea how he is doing academically.  Other than those brains I haven't heard anything about school work.
I did meet with the little woman's teacher today.  Same old, same old.  I am really hoping her new regiment of meds help her with focus.  That said she is where she is suppose to be in everything except math.  No surprise there at all.  Math is always going to be her nemesis unless we find the missing part that will make it click for her.  For now we just keep plugging along one day at a time.

Double Digits

And the little woman is ten years-old.  She took cupcakes to school for her class.  Mike's friend Mya ordered a cake for us to pick up.  It had crazy colors.  It costed me the same as the ones we normally buy, but because it was special ordered it was a lot fresher.  Got to like that.
We met up with Brenda and her nephew Linus to watch "Abominable".  Linus and I both loved the blueberry scene.  I have always been the blueberry lady to Linus.  So we both said my berries never got that big as the ones in the movie.
She loved her gifts from Daddy best.  LPSs and an aligator game she wanted.  My gift of spooky books was not a hit.  Bet they will be a little later though.  They really are just up her alley.

No More ADD Meds

The little woman had an appointment with the psychiatrist today.  We have opted to discontinue ADD meds and just up the anti-anxiety one a bit.  He also gave her something to help her sleep.  She seems to not process the melatonin anymore and won't go to sleep.  So not enough sleep and not well maintained anxiety can amp up ADD (if she has it) as well as just be an amp up by themselves.  So we go back in another six weeks to see how she is doing. 

Catching Up

The little man did not want to spend the night at Pat's so did not ask.  The little woman asked but Pat said next weekend.  Which is all fine. 
So last night the little man was asleep by 9 which is his usual school night bedtime.  He did not wake up until 9 this morning.  I think he is playing catch up although I didn't think he was behind on his sleep.  Her, on the other hand, is way behind.  We must find something that works. 

Independent

As I am sitting on the couch watching TV I hear noises from the kitchen.  I'm not thinking too much about it as the little woman went in to find something to eat.  But the noises didn't sound like her finding something to eat like normal. 
I go into the kitchen to find her working on making brownies.  I had to point out a couple of little things to her, like using a cake pan, not the lasagna pan and don't forget the water.  Other than that she did it.  I took them out of the oven due to our broken oven door.  And she did fine.
She wanted to know if that was independent.  Yes, yes it was.  The first time I cooked something like that by myself I was ten years-old. 

Festival of the Fall

The littles and I attended the Festival of the Fall at the little woman's school.  Lots of laughter and costumes tonight.  Plenty of games to keep everyone entertained.  The littles loved collecting the tokens and being able to turn them in for prizes.  I noticed the little man mostly got candy, while she got little trinkets. 
They saw some friends.  I sat at a table with a mom and her parents.  Listening in on their conversation.  The mom commented about always doing these activities so her daughter has this memory of doing it.  And that is it exactly.  We have been doing them for the same reason.  The memories.  Well that and the fun they have now.
I noticed the feel of the event was different this year than previous years.  I think a lot of it has to do with the school now being a straight K-4.  We lost all the older kids.  And we gained a lot of families with the younger set. 

Not One, Then the Other

Never fails.  I have an issue with one...and I can count on an issue with the other.  So the little woman refused to go to school today.  Good old anxiety.  I sit here going this is true school avoidance.  I don't think the little man's is when he pulls stunts.  I think he just likes the control.  For her it really is anxiety. 
So after I could not convince her we went and saw my mom.  The little woman played with Rex.  And I got Mom to take her meds and eat some breakfast.
Just another day in the life.  I take each small win where I find it.

Ode to the Bus

Well the little man did not want to get off the bus today.  I got the call while I was waiting at Starbucks.  My parent peer and I had a coffee date set up.  Well that didn't happen.  We instead went to the school and talked him down.  And then he was given a choice about staying in school for the day or coming home.  Well naturally he came home and that was the end of coffee.   Maybe next week.  Here is hoping the rest of the school week goes okay.

Therapy Day

The little woman had therapy today.  Our biggest accomplishment was letting her know that we no longer wanted the home specialist.  It's not that we didn't want any home specialist...just not the one we had.  My feeling is....I am passive aggressive and when I start being passive aggressive with someone who is paid to help us...he isn't helping us any longer.  And the little woman wouldn't interact with him anymore....so something needed to change.  We will see where it goes from here on that. 
The little woman was much quieter today.  Her tics were much less.  All a good thing.  We also talked about the reaction to the ADD meds.  I did the right thing and we will talk about that with the doctor next week. 

New to Us

Last week Betty got ahold of me. She wanted to know if I wanted a computer desk.  Yes, yes I did. Norman had to move out of his assisted living and to an adult care home.  So she had the task of cleaning out his small apartment.  His stepdaughter was taking some of the furniture, but not the desk.
This worked out well for me.  When I had moved Mom's desk to the dining room I did not do so carefully enough, so it was getting pretty wobbly.  Then began the logistics of how we move it from one side of town to the other.  She thought perhaps it would fit in the back of her car.  I was pretty sure it would not fit in mine.  The next thing I knew she had it all arranged with Joe to do the hauling.  Cool beans.
So then Joe got ahold of me to arrange a time to go get it.  And that we did.  Not only did we get the desk (which Dave had gotten for Norm), but we also got the computer chair.  Score.  So stoked.  We were using a chair I got off a facebook sale site for $10.  Was not real leather and it immediately began peeling.  And I have rough kids so it was time to replace it also. 
Nothing moves or gets done fast at my house.  I finally managed to get all the stuff off the old desk.  Then the next day I dismantled it.  The little man helped me haul in the new desk and I set the computer back up. 
Thank you so much Betty, Norman and in a round about way Dave (still looking out for me).  We love it and we gained so much room in the dining room. 

Quarterworld Again

The little woman spent the night at Pat's house.  So the little man and I made a trek over to Quarterworld on Hawthorne.  We really liked it last time we went.  And the little woman was not enthused last time.  We took advantage of being by ourselves. 
He played Foosball for the first time and really took to it.  He played me and I did not take to it.  So naturally that meant he won.  Then he played a bigger kid who had definitely played before.  The bigger kid won, but the little man did make a couple of scores. 
Afterwards we hit McDonald's at home.  We went in and ate inside.  Honestly we should have done the drive thru, but we had dinner.
The little man behaved the whole time and we had a nice evening by ourselves.

Coffee :)

Finally was able to meet up with Tom again.  The place we went to last time closed for restructuring.  Whatever that means.  So we met up at the Bleu Door Bakery downtown Vancouver.  It has some nice ambiance, but different than Marcell's.  And it was much busier.  To be expected being right on Main Street. 
I had the best BLT sandwich I have ever had.  The tomatoes were just the right ripeness.  The bacon was perfectly flavored.  The whole wheat white marbled bread was super fresh and divine.  Oh my gosh.  And the coffee wasn't bad either. 

Getting Rid of That ADD Med

Did the trial.  And I would say we have a definitive no on it. Now while it worked like it was suppose to she had a nice calm day.  And then she amped right into rages.  And she could not fall asleep even with her melatonin.  Essentially she was up all night and woke the little man up part way through so he could have fun running amuck in the middle of the night.  I expected both of them to be extremely cranky and yet they both went to school.
Now to get back with the doc and say that one was a bust and let's try something different. 

Brains

Oh my gosh.  So the little man asks if he told me about the brains.  No, no he had not.  So he told me he misbehaved and lost recess with his class.  He was going to get a recess later with the principal by themselves.  Something must have come up and it got a bit postponed and when it worked out it had gotten chillier outside.  So instead he got to go to a fourth grade class.
And they had brains.  A mouse brain, a rat brain, a sheep brain and a human brain.  He was so excited about the fact that they got to touch them, wearing gloves of course.  And then they did an electrical experiment with the muscles in their arms.  He was over the top about it.
I pointed out to him that that is why he goes to school.  For experiences like that....because he isn't ever getting that at home.  But he got it at school and it was spectacular.

No Coffee Today

I had an appointment today with my new parent peer.  We were going to meet at Starbucks and have coffee.  Well that didn't happen.  The little man had the day off due to a suspension and the little woman decided she wasn't going if he wasn't going.
So the parent peer came here.  And we did manage to talk, but I noticed she told me a couple of times we could have rescheduled.  It is what it is and sometimes we just have to roll with it.  We have another appointment next week for coffee.  Maybe I will be able to make that one.

He Won

The little man really didn't want to go to school today.  So he escalated really well and got sent home.  I got the call and went to pick him up.  He was being restrained.  They quickly got him outside and figured if he ran he was then my problem.  So out the door we went.  He took his shoes from me, put them on and was perfectly fine.  One day suspension.  Joy.  He won.

Tightwad Tuesday

The little man earned the movie on our reward chart.  So we went and saw the new "The Addam's Family".  They sat pretty well through it.  They did each have to make a trip to the snack bar.  They handled themselves though.  The little woman sat with some friends who were also seeing the movie.
Made me realize how far we have come.  There was a time when they could not sit still through a whole movie.  And now they can.
We talked about the characters.  The little woman still likes the goth girl.  The little man liked the human girl who later dressed like Wednesday all in black.  Too funny.

ADD Med

What to do, what to do.  So we tried the ADD med for a week and it seemed to really amp her up and make her have some rage.  I stopped the meds as I was told to do if she got agitated.  She amped down, but not back to where she was.  So then I am thinking that maybe it is something else.  So maybe one day this week we will try the med again and see how it goes.

Best Part

Amazing what happens when you follow the recipe.  I only wanted salted so that is what I did.  The two big pumpkins gave us two pans of seeds to roast.  And they are tasty and won't last long.

One Done

The little man was ready and willing to carve a pumpkin.  I noticed he let me dig out most of the guts though.  And then he made a plan and outlined it on the pumpkin and then did all the carving himself.  He did a good job for it being his first all by himself. 

The Patch

Usually we get our pumpkins from Scented Acres.  But this year she must not be doing them.  No signs.  No posts on facebook about them.  Nothing.  So this year I decided we would do one of the pumpkin patches that cost a bit more.  A lot of people like Bi-zi farms.  But I really have a tough time paying $60 for the four of us to go ride in a wagon, maybe do a maze and get four pumpkins.  People seem to think this is a great deal and I'm like not really.  $60 is almost a weeks worth of groceries.
So I went online and looked at what was available and off the Woodland we went.  They have this really nice pumpkin farm called the Patch.  No admission. 
I have never been to a real pumpkin patch so had no idea what to expect or what to do. There were a lot of people milling around.  A lot of people picking pumpkins,  A lot of people doing pumpkin patch things.  We got our tickets for the hay ride and the hay maze.  Costed all of $7. The littles loved the hay ride.  The little man said it was the best part.  Then we found a wheelbarrow and off to the fields.  The littles looked at a lot of pumpkins.  I would have been happier with the first ones the little man picked, but he decided they weren't right.  Finally they found three.  Then we hit the already picked ones because I wanted a funny one.  One with warts all over it.  Got one of those and little white one.  Found an interesting gourd inside a barn and they each got a fantastic apple.  $15. 
We opted not to do the hay maze.  Little man had his heart set on the corn maze.  So we used our hay maze tickets for him and paid for me.  Another $5 (bringing out total to $27).  And in the maze we went.  Good thing we took a picture of the map or we would be lost for days.  He kept telling me we were going to persevere though and we did.  He was so excited when we came out the exit.  Proud of him self. 
It was a great outing and now we know how it all works and what to do next time. 

Three Day Weekend

Every weekend for me is a three day weekend.  This weekend is also a three day one for the littles.  I guess the little woman actually got a four day weekend.  That first day wasn't all that fun though for her. 
The littles spent most of the day playing in the neighborhood with their friends.  I love when they do that. 

God is Laughing

The day starts with the little woman having a sore throat again and a stuffed up nose.  Joy.  No school.  I had plans to meet Tom for coffee again, but had to postpone.  Turned out that was all right because he got called in to work.  And then there was an article in the paper about the coffee shop we were going to meet at being temporarily closed.  I would say we were not meant to meet today. 
Then the little man's tooth was causing him issues.  So he came home.  It was just a day of togetherness.  Can't wait for Tuesday to see the dentist. 

Late Start Wednesday

The school district is again doing the late start Wednesdays.  Only this year it is almost all of them.  Last year every single one messed me up some how.  Whether it be because I would forget and we would be ready to go at normal time or it was just a break in the routine and it messed with behaviors.
This year so far we are doing okay with it.  We had a little blip this morning though.  There was a power struggle going on and at the last minute they both decided they would go to school.  I had to drive.  We get to her school and she had neglected to put on the shoes I had handed her on the way out.  They were at home.  So home we went and back to her school.  That made her about ten minutes late.  And that made him twenty minutes late.  But they did go.  And that is the win.  Just hoping it is not an omen of Wednesdays to come.  I really hate late start Wednesday.

Good Start

The little man is still going strong on the rewards plan.  He is counting his gems.  He is working hard.  He really wants the big reward which is a 90 minute session at Sky Zone.  At this rate he may have it next week or early the following week. 
The little woman on the other hand snubbed her nose at it all.  She searched and found the rewards that are tangible and opened all of hers already.  C'est la vie.  She will still reap the non tangible rewards assuming he earns them.  We are looking at seeing "The Addam's Family" next week on tightward Tuesday.  I'm sure he will have enough gems for that. 

Rewards System

Today is the first day of our rewards system.  The therapist and I tailored it after the one that is used in the little man's class.  We talked about it last night. 
When it was bedtime he was in bed and before that he put all the clean clothes I had folded away.  Wow.  This morning is he happy to get ready for school and go get on that bus.  Wouldn't it be nice if it just continued on like that?  I'm sure it won't. 

Edges

By edges I mean the outline of the room.  On some of the edges there is furniture.  But really there shouldn't be anything else on the edge.  And it wasn't too long ago that I cleaned all the edges in the living room.  All the toys went back to bedrooms, shoes to the coat closet, and dirty clothes picked up (actually I do that every day).
It amazes me how quick those edges get filled back up.  This time with shoes that should be in the closet, Mike crap, kid crap, and just crap.
Since the little man spent the night at Uncle Pat's, I took advantage of some motivation this morning and cleaned up some edges again.  And it looks so much better.  But if I laid money on it...it won't last a week.  Another one of those neverending jobs.

RIP Marjorie Reed

Aunt Cris was born in 1934 and married my uncle in 1953.  She has always been in my life.  She was the sweetest and kindest person I knew.  She always welcomed us to her home.  She always fed us.  The world is a little less brighter without her. 
Her memorial service was today.  We all laughed at the story of Cris and her violin.  Seems she had to take violin lessons as a kid and she hated it.  So she crashed her bike into a tree so her violin got broken. And that ended the lessons.  We know at some point she took the violin back up because she played as an adult. 
I used to take Mike and Josh out to the beach and we would always stop at their place in Svenson.  Sometimes they would go with us and do things in Astoria.  We rode the trolley one time and we climbed the Astoria Column. 
Cris and John moved to Longview and we got to see them a bit more.  And then life gets in the way.  After Uncle John died, Aunt Cris ended up moving to Vancouver to assisted living and then memory care.  And then an adult foster care.  Dementia is a cruel disease.  I saw her three times in the weeks before she died.  She did not know me.  And that is all right because she knew someone who loved her was seeing her.  And I'm glad I was able to do that.
Then just as we are deciding to move Mom where Cris lived, and getting it all arranged, Cris went on hospice.  And she didn't remain there long.  She was ready to go on and be with John again.  And so she did.  No more mental fog.  No more pain.  Beth was not ready, but our opinion is not sought when the time is here. 
Cris had two daughters, five grandkids and two great grandkids.  All who were the apple of her eye. 
Love and light Aunt Cris on your journey.  I will miss you for the rest of my life. 

Coffee Again

This time I met my friend Megaera at Clark and we had a treat from the bakery.  We talked for a good hour.  I miss her.  When you don't work you don't get to see your work friends.  Now that the kids are actually mostly going to school and the therapy/doctor appointments seem to have slowed down, I feel like I have time to make some plans to meet up with my friends. 
After visiting with Megaera I stopped in the bookstore.  It was a skeleton crew day, but I did get to see Liz and Monica.  Did a quick catch up because they are working.  Monica said she was just thinking about me and then there I was.  Life is like that sometimes. 
Megaera and I made tentative plans to meet up again.  :) 

Coffee

Everything went according to Hoyle.  Both kids on their respective buses and to school.  I headed downtown to a place called Marcell's Pie House to meet up with Tom.  I haven't seen him in almost two years.  Tom seems to bounce between active alcoholism and trying for recovery. 
I can't fix him.  I can just check in on him once in awhile to see how he is.  And more often than not he is drinking.  And he can do that.  He doesn't live with me so I don't say anything. Shoot I don't say anything to the addict that does live with me.  I also don't want to be in the middle of anymore addiction drama, so I let him live his life and remain in facebook land. 
Well life seems to have changed for Tom.  He did another stint of rehab, and I have lost count on the number he is at.  He retired from his job, sold his trailer and moved to Vancouver.  A major shift.  And here he is four months later still sober.  And appears to be truly sober and working the twelve steps. 
I don't know if he hit the proverbial rock bottom or if he just got tired of it.  Either way it was great to see him looking, feeling good.  And have a conversation that was real.  And that doesn't mean the others weren't.  They just centered more around rationals for continuing to drink or get high and not be in recovery.  Remember recovery is more than just not drinking. 
It was a really nice meeting. We cleared some of the air for him in his amends.  He gave me some good advice. We talked about kids, his and mine.  He gave me a better sense of the steps in the program.  And he told me to go to Al-anon or Co-dependence Anonymous.  Seems to be a trend to be told something like that lately. 
We made plans to do it again. 

Trooper

The little man finally had his dentist appointment.  It is his first filling without being knocked all the way out.  He did not enjoy the jelly on the q-tip and he definitely did not enjoy the injection.  But he made it through it. 
Then when the dentist started to drill he could still feel it.  So they waited another ten minutes.  And then he felt nothing.  Got the decay drilled out and it was down to the nerve, hence the pain.  We opted to go with the medicine and filling, rather than a root canal.  He got another silver crown.
And now we get through the next few days with some more pain and then here is hoping he is just good to go. 
But he was a trooper and he was brave and he was fine afterwards.  Made his next appointment for the big cavity on the other side of his mouth.  Hopefully he will be just as brave.

Welcome October

Well there was a meeting at school for the little man.  The bus was late picking him up.  And then the little woman threw a fit and I was stuck.  I didn't make it to the meeting, but the therapist did.  He filled me in and we have a plan.  I'm going to keep searching for my voice and may do some counseling myself.  And I'm going to start a reward system like they have at school with the dragon tails. 
I had to move my appointment with the parent peer and then she had to cancel it for today.  So it didn't happen.  We'll see how that goes on Thursday. 
Mom's assessment went pretty well.  Mom was up and had lunch.  Cami did the same thing with breakfast that I did yesterday.  She took her meds.  It was interesting hearing Mom tell her how she can do everything by herself.  Mom can't really do anything without cuing and help.  One more step done though.  My homework from this is getting an eye exam scheduled. 
And it is October so we start counting down the days till birthdays and holiday. Feels like fall.