Mad Sad

The little man's therapist came by today.  I was in the middle of throwing out a lot of garbage from the garage.  Mike has claimed that space, gone through everything multiple times, brings in so much more garbage, and thinks no one has any say about how things go out there.  I found the wrapping from my lunch containers.  Dave bought those for me the summer before he died.  I tend to stash stuff until I need it and then he died and I couldn't open them.  Well no matter now because they are gone. 
The therapist and I talked about how far the little man has come.  We talked about how much help Mike was at first.  We talked about how much help he is not now and that really it is time for him to move on.  Because behaviors are already poking back in to the family dynamic and a lot of it is the stress of living with an addict.  Addict not in recovery.  Most interactions with the kids are negative.  He immediately sends them to their room. Or gets very loud.  I know he feels like he has to be louder than them, and he is, but at this point it doesn't help. 
The home specialist had told me to have a conversation with Mike when the kids were present.  Stating that if he wants to parent, I am happy to step back and let him lead.  But he has to be here to do that.  And being here, doing that, means being sober.  And if he can't do that then it really is time to go.  The kids already know he has checked out of the parenting gig.  And I know they have a lot of emotions around that.  Mad and Sad or as Oh says on "Home" madsad.  Me too.  I don't need life to be harder though.  It is hard enough.