The Storm Comes

The boy had a complete meltdown that ended with a lot of broken glass.  Broken glass is beyond thrown fruit.  So I had to call 911.  And as it turned out twice.  The second call with the help of Catholic Community Services got him a ride to the hospital in an ambulance. 
After much consideration the decision was made for him to spend the night and then do an intake appt and safety plan with CCS in the morning. 

Homework

I had my parent only therapy session.  I have homework.  I am suppose to put on my positive glasses and compliment every positive thing I see.  I am to use the when___then___ and stretch it out.  When the little man wants something I am to say "when I am done with dishes, then I will get your milk" kind of thing.  And then start stretching it so he has to wait longer for gratification.  And the therapist appreciates how hard that is and the eggshells we walk on.  The last one is to stop negative behavior (not escalated, just normal) by pointing out that we don't hit, kick, etc to communicate with each other.  Over and over and over and over. 
We did have a big breakthrough and both the therapist and the home specialist were amazed.  The little man was frustrated with his game and starting kicking...me since I was in proximity.  So after a few requests for him to stop and he didn't, I got up and left the room telling him why.  About ten minutes later he came and asked for help.  I went back to the living room and he told me he was lonely and sad and would I sit with him.  He has never voiced an emotion to me.  So he is learning to do so and felt safe enough to do so. 
Feels like the calm before the storm.  However we have a plan in place.  If he escalates more we will move him to level 4 services with Catholic Community Services.  The positive is we won't have to wait long if we are transferring with a recommendation from the Childrens' Center. 
Reminding myself to breathe. 

You Got Mail

The writing was on the wall several months ago.  You can't maintain a job and get called all the time to come get a kid (sickness, behavior).  You can't be late all the time because of the struggle to get kids to go to school.  You can't have professional people questioning the fact that you still have a job in almost disbelief.  Most places would not have tolerated nearly what my job did.  My job tried to be as flexible with me as they could.  But something had to give and it was the job.  I had such a big conflict between my duty to family and my work ethic. 
So several months ago Xfinity, my Internet/cable provider sent a sales email about using their mobile service.  No charge for phone and text and then only $12 a month per gig used in that month.  I was paying $30 a month for phone, text and 2 gigs data.  I don't use a lot of data.  I use wifi.  The hook was if you bought a new phone from them and ported the current number they would kick back $100 visa gift card.  At the time I needed a new phone.  I decided to do it and hope for the best.  The worst that would happen is I go back to Metro. 
So I am paying my essentially $15 a month after taxes for the data.  I love their voicemail that comes up as voice or text.  Funny how calls that don't ring and texts that don't notify seem to follow me from phone to provider.  So there is that.  But I don't figure it is Xfinity.  I figure it is some setting gets changed.
In order to get the kick back you have to maintain service for 14 weeks.  I did that.  And guess what was in my mailbox this weekend.  My $100 gift card.  Really good timing.....since I am unemployed. Setting it aside for our trip this summer.  It is a nice little cushion. 

First Sleepover

The little man had guys' night at Pat's.  The little woman had her new friend come to have a sleepover here.  It is the very first sleepover at our house.  I am grateful for the way that worked out.  The little woman got some nice friend time without her little brother interfering.  And while I'm sure it would have been fine with him here (since he likes this friend), it was nice for her to have just her friend. 
I ended up with new painted nails, both feet and hands.  And I've got to say.....I hate nail polish on my fingernails.  It makes them feel heavy.  Now I'm wondering how long until I can take it off.  ;p Then they spent a couple of hours playing in her room before the guest fell asleep. 

Form

Liz sent me a new PAR.  That way if I am able to return to the bookstore at some point...the paperwork is still all done.  Leaving means I lost my upgraded space.  But that is okay.  I still don't know what will happen in the future.
What I do know is since I haven't been working on concrete....my hips, knees and feet don't hurt nearly as much as they did.  And that is a benefit that I am appreciating right now. 

Hahahaha

Mike called.  He talked to the little man for a little bit and then he talked to me for a little bit.  He wanted to make sure I understood that he does not want the kids homeschooled.  We will talk about it when he gets out in depth.  But it did make me laugh.  When you do the caretaking, then you get a say in the decisions.  And yeah, I don't want to homeschool either.  Right now it is a bandaid to get us through this school year.  Then hopefully three more months of good therapy so that they can go back to regular school in the fall without the daily struggle.  I have enough daily struggles. 

Pep Talk

Our home specialist came out today.  Both kids took off on wheels.  One on a bike and one on a scooter.  So we had a grown up chat.  He gave me another pep talk.  How I haven't given up and how commendable it is.  We have been through a lot of turmoil the last year and it is hard.  I own my part in the ruckus.  He is really good at pep talks in the moment.  And then the next time something flies in my house, my resolve weakens. 
And therapy days are hard.  Because every therapy day is for sure a fly day.