Amazing

I picked Mom up and went to her appointment.  We saw a PA today.  And I was absolutely amazed in a positive way.  It was the first time I felt completely heard.  He had looked at her chart and we discussed a bit of what came before, like the UTIs.  He listened to all the new concerns and had ideas.  He also upped one of her meds to help her sleep hopefully.  He explained some things that we can do later if the UTIs keep happening.  He said the geriatric psychologist had reviewed her file last fall and told us what he said.  He also acknowleged that we didn't get that information.  Somehow it fell through the cracks. 
I felt very positive when we left the office.  And most times I don't. 

Stuck Brain

Now I understand the stuck in a loop thing that the little woman gets sometimes.  I have been pondering the Mom situation for several weeks now.  Back and forth, back and forth.  And some how I got it in my head it had to be either or.  Where she is or with me.  Finally the cloud lifted and I realized there are a lot more choices than that. 
Right now I have a lot of patience with Mom.  And it is because I don't have to deal with dementia 24/7.  And I need to maintain that patience.  So I'm back to being fine.  If we get asked to move her because she is too much work, then we get asked and we find some other place.  But that place is not home with me. 
Hopefully we get positive results at the doctor's office tomorrow and it leaves us with the status quo for awhile.  And for now I can breathe again. 

Limbo

I hate limbo.  I had a plan all worked out.  There were many layers to the decisions I was making. 
The last couple of times I have been to visit Mom, have kind of left me feeling confused.  I hear the complaints about how much work she is and how much she is costing.  And the underlaying feel is if we can't stop her restlessness and potty issues that she will not be able to stay there.  It's not said that way.  It is said that she can't afford carpet cleaners often. 
Now I have been, again, doing research about dementia.  The restlessness is just part of the disease as are the potty issues.  I did not look for an ACH that did not deal with dementia.  Because that is what she has.  I'm not hiding anything, although I was shocked at where we were when we brought her to the ACH.  But the disease progresses.  It doesn't go backwards.  And I certainly want all four women who live there to be safe.  And that is commented on, although no one says she is still being combative since she got a new med. 
We were suppose to have the doctor appointment to see what, if anything, can be done.  I'm not sure.  And what if there isn't?  The disease is progressive. 
Here is the limbo part.  Am I getting her house ready for sale, or am I getting her house ready for her to move back home with me?  If we work things out at the care home for now, sell her house and then have the disease take another blow and she is asked to leave.....then what?  Because there are always going to be things that are beyond the normal aging.  She is always going to be a lot of work now.  And I need to make a decision soon.  The money is almost gone and her house is her last asset.  Oy. 

Of Course

Mom was suppose to have a doctor appointment this morning.  Naturally the office called to reschedule.  The doctor was sick.  In the time she has been at Cami's house that has happened twice.  If the doctor is sick there really isn't anything that can be done, but it is frustrating.  It isn't like me having an appointment.  I can go at will and without effort. 
So I went and spent about an hour with Mom today because Tuesday has become my day to do that. That freed up Cami to easily make lunch.  Mom is restless and doesn't sit still.  Cami has discovered that just letting her go up and down the hallway with a chair seems to help.  That is better than Cami going up and down the hallway.  Mom doesn't have a great sense of balance anymore and she is hard to get up if she falls to the floor. 
That is what I did until lunch.  We paced the hallway.  We would go to her room and she would lay down and close her eyes.  Maybe a minute later she would open her eyes and get back up and back down the hallway we would go.  She did stop long enough to eat some of her lunch.  We made a couple more passes down the hallway and then she got into bed and actually did fall asleep.  I waited awhile to make sure she really was asleep. 
This is a big change.  And everything I have been reading....it is just the progression of the disease.  Cami had gotten another refill of the calm down pills and that is probably why her brain was quieter today. 

Cleveland

I have lots of time, but I kind of like to have a plan.  Now mostly my plans always go awry, but I feel better having them.  Hmm, maybe I have anxiety.  Anyway Leo told me I can come when I want and stay as long as I want.  He suggested we ride the train into Cleveland for some touristy things.  The train eliminates parking in Cleveland.  Gee that sounds exactly like me and Portland.  If I can ride Max, I most certainly will. 
He suggested we go to an Indian's game.  I knew that meant baseball.  No idea how, but I knew.  Baseball is a slow game.  But when we went to SLC way back we went to a minors game and I really enjoyed it.  And we attended a Mariner's game in Seattle once.  I like baseball more in person than on TV. 
He wanted to know what I wanted to do.  Said most tourists want to go to the rock and roll museum.  Well maybe, but I was more interested in the Old Arcade which is a mall.  I'm not into shopping at Malls.  This one has such fabulous architecture and I want to see it if possible.  I also would love to go to the Westside Market.  So that is our tentative plan for our day in Cleveland.  And he suggested going out for Hungarian food to end the day if our timing is right. 
I'm very much looking forward to my time in Ohio.  Mostly I'm just excited to meet Eleanor.  Not really.  Leo is the draw, but the dog is icing on the cake. 

Family Dinner

I picked up a pizza and Mom.  Today is National Pizza Day.  So Papa Murphy's had a special coupon for $5 off a family sized pizza.  We went to Pat's and he already had the oven hot.  Mom ate three pieces of pizza.  Must have hit the spot for her. 
She wasn't as restless today, but still in her own world.  We just rolled with it.  She has a doctor appointment this week, but I'm not sure what, if anything, they can do.  I think the disease is just progressing and this is what we see.  Some things she seems to grasp, but otherwise she is almost oblivious to our conversations. 
We made plans to do family dinner again next Sunday.  Methinks perhaps Pat realized how far she has progressed today.  I see her more than he does. 

Early

The little woman does not really understand about time zones.  She called me at 6:15 this morning.  It wasn't that early for her.  We chatted for about 15 minutes and then she wanted to know how come she couldn't see me in the video.  Well because it was still dark here and I was still in bed.  About that time Mommy told her to say good night and let me go back to sleep.
Last year I sure did not like being woke up that early.  This year it doesn't bother me.  Must be moving into Nana mode.  ;p
I did manage to go back to sleep for awhile.  And then I had some energy and motivation to start working on clearing out the medicine cabinet and under the sink cupboard.  I was amazed at how much stuff I had there that got thrown away.  Making progress.