True That

I posted a saying on facebook that stated....thanks for those who walked into my life and made it better and thanks to those who walked out and made it amazing.  And I realized how true it is.  Life has thrown me a lot of curveballs over the years.  And right now we are in the midst of hard living.
Mom with her dementia is an emotional rollercoaster.  Raising grandchildren with no help is an emotional rollercoaster.  All the things that have changed and where we are right now in our lives are hard things.  And it's all right.  My plate is full, but it is not overflowing.  So while I may be sad at all the things the kids miss out on because of others' choices and while I am doing this without Dave and it is hard......I'm all right.  My life is better right now today than it has been in a long time.
I am so thankful that I don't have to deal with drama from people who don't like me and want to blame me for their choices.  I can't even imagine what life would be like if I had to still tiptoe around so as to not offend people who professed to be my family for a long time and really weren't.  So yes, thanks for the amazing new journey.
And that said......I was commenting about a change coming.  When there is no longer anything here to hold me....that being Mom, it may be time for a change.  Because I can do anything that I want.  Just would have to convince my brother and my son that they, too, needed the change.  ;p

A Friend

Mom called and left me a voicemail.  Not the normal voicemail that she leaves me.  I saw her this morning and apparently she is over her rage. Good.
So she made a friend today.  A man.  She said this will make her time there be much better.  He is a little older than her, but they have a lot in common and seem to be at the same point in their dementia.  She is pretty sure they will just be friends.  Always amazes me when she talks about men with just a hint of .......
When I had arrived this morning, Mel, the director, had told me that a new man was coming today who was about the same as Mom and that maybe they could be friends.  Now I will have to wait for Mom to tell me her new friend's name.
Glad she is having a better day.

Tents

I finally got the little tent out and set it up.  It is a great size for two little bodies, but it won't work for three when one of them is me.  So now I need to find a little bit bigger tent to take with to the beach.  Pat said we could use his, but I think I prefer for us to have our own.  That way if anything happens to it, we are only hurting our stuff. The littles can at times still be a little rough.
Told Pat that if Mom is going she needs to ride with him.  And he was all right with that.  Mike may come down for a day or night depending on his work schedule.  Spend some quality family time with his kids.  He is really missing that and you can tell they want it.  All three of them need it.

Was Nice

It was nice while it lasted.  When Mom was raging back in August, the nurse at the assisted living contacted the dr for some new meds.  They took about a good month to really work, although I could see progress along the way.  She was still extremely sad, but not raging.
Then we made the move and the rage is back full force.  And when she is raging she is mad at me.  Because I did all of this to her.  Now I know it is the disease, but I also know it is how she feels at the moment.  And there is nothing I can do differently.
Here is to hoping that she settles in soon  and gets past the rage.  Because I think next is stronger meds and they might take away from her.

Quietness

I enjoyed a quieter day today.  I got some work done, charged the battery on Mom's car and moved it back into the garage, vegged in front of Netflix.  We had a light supper of mac and cheese.  I didn't go anywhere except into town for a few.
And yes the voicemails have began.  And she is a tad bit back to being mad at me.  Not surprising.  Hopefully some time will pass and she will adjust.
Maybe the little man and I will go see her tomorrow.

Half Over

My nice string of days off is half over already.  It has felt really good to have them though.  Before the weather changed so we could enjoy some outside time.
Went and saw Mom this morning. She isn't handling the transition greatly.  I did not expect her to.  When I got there she was involved in an activity and not enjoying it.  It was too loud.  So we went and had coffee in one of the quiet alcoves.  The nurse told her she doesn't have to stay doing an activity if she doesn't want to.
Change is hard.  For all of us.  And we already know her situation isn't going to get better.  Let the voicemails begin.

Farmer's Market Afternoon

We did a little more Mom business this morning.
Then we spent the afternoon at Esther Short Park perusing the farmer's market and playing in the fountain.  We bought some apples, corn and one peach that we will eat tomorrow.  They made hand prints from the water in the fountain on the rocks and it looked like art.  The little man floated leaves down the fountain.  He kept trying to find the perfect leaf.  I'm not sure what his criteria was other than pretty.
We met lots of dogs.  One woman told me that that is why they bring the dogs.  For the dogs to meet kids. Nice.