I am greatly sad that Cassie read my post about Connor and read it as criticism of her and her choice. There was no criticism there. Yes we would have taken Connor if it was Myk's baby, as we know she can't raise a baby right now. I don't expect her to take our feelings into account as to her decision to give him up for adoption, but I do think she needs to be aware that her decision affects all of us. Not just her. So I blogged about how much it will hurt and how grateful I was for her letting me be part of the birth. It was a good memory and then the next day I read the crap posted on facebook. I don't expect her decision to be easy. I don't think that it should be. Maybe she wouldn't have felt so criticized if she had ever had a conversation with me about how I felt about the pregnancy and all the things surrounding it. But she never did.
I'm going to try and just remember the peaceful feelings of being there at the miracle of his birth. And we wait six or more weeks to find out how much grieving we do. Because whether or not it is Myk's child, Connor is Audrie's brother. And I think that it is sad that if they are full siblings it wasn't even considered that they could be raised together. That said...I'm still pretty sure he isn't Myk's baby. But he is still wonderful and I am still very grateful for the gift Cassie gave me. And I expect an apology for the crap, but I probably won't get it.
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