Don't feel it. But I think I am. If Dave has a terminal cancer and dies I am left completely holding the bag. And I remind myself that I chose this. But I will have no help and no help. By that I mean....he is the only one left who I can get a break from on occasion. All the people from the beginning are basically gone. Tanya flaked, Nita moved, Mom progressed and Jodi is working way too much.
Then I live at a poverty level and it is fine. All our needs are met. But in the future I see a little boy playing sports. That isn't cheap. I see a little girl dancing and that isn't cheap. I see swimmers and drivers and active kids. And I always counted on Dave's help. He is paying for swimming lessons right now. Well once he is gone that resource dries up for their extras.
That said....I know they will inherit. But that will be tied up in trusts as it should be. I know when Dave planned that he didn't plan on getting sick when they were this little. And that is one of the reasons why I didn't change my will. In my case it all would have went back to him because I knew he would be taking care of the littles and might need it.
Life could be throwing us a massive curve ball and I'm not happy about it. This would be a major major loss for the littles in a life that already has a lot of loss for them. Oy.
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