Adopted

Had a conversation this morning with Catie and it really got me thinking.  Made me more appreciative of the choices we made and being able to make them.
Catie was born in 1996 and was our first grandchild.  Blood for Dave and step for me.  Her parents choose instead to give her up for adoption.  They didn't feel old enough to be parents and I'm sure they thought this was the better choice for the baby.  At that stage of the game no one knows who the person is that that baby will become.  So no choice is "personal" to the baby, it is just a choice for the parents about their own life.
I have a cousin who was adopted and she will tell you it is the best thing that probably ever happened to her.  And we would always wish this to be true. We would wish that all adoptions were happy occasions and they are for some families.  I have blogged about this before.  For some people adoption is a grief process.  It is a great sense of loss for the grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins.  I'm sure it is also for the parents, but they made the choice.  The rest of the family did not.  They just get to live with the grief.
Today Catie was giving me a glimpse into the life of an adopted child.  Her experience. The lifelong feeling of abandonment.  I suspect there are a lot of people who feel that.  I know in my family there is.
When Catie went to live with her new family our hearts were broke in a big way.  We got to see her in the hospital and then she went to be part of her new family.  And life went on as it does.  We hoped to never have to experience that again.
Skip forward to 2009.  Our little redhead came into our lives.  Her parents tried to parent, but their lifestyle really hindered that.  And so we offered to take over the parenting.  We knew it was just a matter of time before she entered the system if we didn't.  So it was agreed that we would do that.  And we did.
Skip forward to 2011 and we had another baby on the way.  Life threw all kinds of curve balls there.  Cassie was almost convinced to give him up for adoption.  Tanya had told her all good things about adoption and promoted it as the best option.  After all she had done it twice.  And then Cassie had a family picked out.....but boy there was something hinky there.  And hindsight....I'm sure glad that one never worked out.  The little man was born into the system and given to us by the state.  We didn't have to take him.  We could have let the state give him to another family to be adopted.
Having already been through the grief process for the two babies that were already given up, we were ready to do just about anything to not go through that again.  It colored our decisions, but in a good way.  These babies are part of my family.  They are why I head a grandfamily.  I take life one day at a time.  I am grateful that I was given the option to take it on even if there are days I am so tired.
Now my family includes this beautiful young woman who comes back to my family with a husband and two babies in tow. She has a lot of work ahead of her, but I have no doubt that she can handle it and be a great parent.  One day at a time Catie and breathe.  Love and light always sent your way.