True That

I posted a saying on facebook that stated....thanks for those who walked into my life and made it better and thanks to those who walked out and made it amazing.  And I realized how true it is.  Life has thrown me a lot of curveballs over the years.  And right now we are in the midst of hard living.
Mom with her dementia is an emotional rollercoaster.  Raising grandchildren with no help is an emotional rollercoaster.  All the things that have changed and where we are right now in our lives are hard things.  And it's all right.  My plate is full, but it is not overflowing.  So while I may be sad at all the things the kids miss out on because of others' choices and while I am doing this without Dave and it is hard......I'm all right.  My life is better right now today than it has been in a long time.
I am so thankful that I don't have to deal with drama from people who don't like me and want to blame me for their choices.  I can't even imagine what life would be like if I had to still tiptoe around so as to not offend people who professed to be my family for a long time and really weren't.  So yes, thanks for the amazing new journey.
And that said......I was commenting about a change coming.  When there is no longer anything here to hold me....that being Mom, it may be time for a change.  Because I can do anything that I want.  Just would have to convince my brother and my son that they, too, needed the change.  ;p

A Friend

Mom called and left me a voicemail.  Not the normal voicemail that she leaves me.  I saw her this morning and apparently she is over her rage. Good.
So she made a friend today.  A man.  She said this will make her time there be much better.  He is a little older than her, but they have a lot in common and seem to be at the same point in their dementia.  She is pretty sure they will just be friends.  Always amazes me when she talks about men with just a hint of .......
When I had arrived this morning, Mel, the director, had told me that a new man was coming today who was about the same as Mom and that maybe they could be friends.  Now I will have to wait for Mom to tell me her new friend's name.
Glad she is having a better day.

Tents

I finally got the little tent out and set it up.  It is a great size for two little bodies, but it won't work for three when one of them is me.  So now I need to find a little bit bigger tent to take with to the beach.  Pat said we could use his, but I think I prefer for us to have our own.  That way if anything happens to it, we are only hurting our stuff. The littles can at times still be a little rough.
Told Pat that if Mom is going she needs to ride with him.  And he was all right with that.  Mike may come down for a day or night depending on his work schedule.  Spend some quality family time with his kids.  He is really missing that and you can tell they want it.  All three of them need it.

Was Nice

It was nice while it lasted.  When Mom was raging back in August, the nurse at the assisted living contacted the dr for some new meds.  They took about a good month to really work, although I could see progress along the way.  She was still extremely sad, but not raging.
Then we made the move and the rage is back full force.  And when she is raging she is mad at me.  Because I did all of this to her.  Now I know it is the disease, but I also know it is how she feels at the moment.  And there is nothing I can do differently.
Here is to hoping that she settles in soon  and gets past the rage.  Because I think next is stronger meds and they might take away from her.

Quietness

I enjoyed a quieter day today.  I got some work done, charged the battery on Mom's car and moved it back into the garage, vegged in front of Netflix.  We had a light supper of mac and cheese.  I didn't go anywhere except into town for a few.
And yes the voicemails have began.  And she is a tad bit back to being mad at me.  Not surprising.  Hopefully some time will pass and she will adjust.
Maybe the little man and I will go see her tomorrow.

Half Over

My nice string of days off is half over already.  It has felt really good to have them though.  Before the weather changed so we could enjoy some outside time.
Went and saw Mom this morning. She isn't handling the transition greatly.  I did not expect her to.  When I got there she was involved in an activity and not enjoying it.  It was too loud.  So we went and had coffee in one of the quiet alcoves.  The nurse told her she doesn't have to stay doing an activity if she doesn't want to.
Change is hard.  For all of us.  And we already know her situation isn't going to get better.  Let the voicemails begin.

Farmer's Market Afternoon

We did a little more Mom business this morning.
Then we spent the afternoon at Esther Short Park perusing the farmer's market and playing in the fountain.  We bought some apples, corn and one peach that we will eat tomorrow.  They made hand prints from the water in the fountain on the rocks and it looked like art.  The little man floated leaves down the fountain.  He kept trying to find the perfect leaf.  I'm not sure what his criteria was other than pretty.
We met lots of dogs.  One woman told me that that is why they bring the dogs.  For the dogs to meet kids. Nice.

Go Carts

My friend Michael's nephew had his birthday party at Diamond R Fastracks.  It was our very first go carting experience.  The littles were too short to ride by themselves so they had to have drivers.  Patience had brought a couple of friends with to help with that.
But the little man wanted me for the first ride.  Now I have never rode in or drove a go cart.  So we both got a new experience.  He kept telling me to go faster.  We got caught up on a tire once when some kid rearended us.
They each got three rides which is pretty good.  Each ride is ten minutes and they seemed like long ten minute rides.  Everyone wanted to ride with Patience.  The little woman got one ride with her and then each of the friends for the other two.  The little man gave up his Patience ride to the birthday boy and rode with the friends.  There were big smiles and tight hand holds.
I love that they are so brave to try new things even if it is a bit scarey. We had a great time and thank Michael, Patience, her friends and Gray for a wonderful afternoon.

A New Transition

Hopefully it is the last one Mom needs to make.  She is moved to her new place.  The movers came and did the job in under two hours.  They were awesome.  We used Big Al's this time.  They costed a tad bit more than the last guys, but they were quick.
My brother took Mom out for lunch while the move was made.  They arrived just as her furniture was being carried in.  That way she felt like she was part of the process.
She took a nap and then had a melt down at dinnertime.  They ended up letting her have dinner in the main dining room.  Methinks they will be doing that for a bit.  That is where she had lunch the day we did her mini tour.  Anyway it all ended okay and a plan is in place for now.

Little Man Day

It was our first day with just the two of us since school started.  The car had an appointment for a service so we dropped it and went for a walk.  Walked over to Target and looked around at all the Halloween stuff.  We liked it.
The car only took two hours instead of the four they predicted.  That made me happy.  So we walked back and picked it up.  Then we went out for lunch.  Shari's.  He had the pioneer platter and ate almost the whole thing.  It had a chicken strip, three mini corn dogs, mozzarella sticks and fries.  Then he ate the cream off my pie.  I think he was hungry and getting ready to go through a growth spurt.
We came home and had a nap.  A good Little Man Day.

Danny

The littles and I stopped at Walmart to get gum out of the machine.  We had shopped at Winco, but they don't have bubble gum machines.  Shortly after we got out of our car, this young man walked up and said that I didn't recognize him.  He recognized me and called me Mike's mom.  He reminded me that his name was Danny.
I don't recognize a lot of Mike's friends that were his friends as children.  Once they become men most of them look different.  Looking at Danny I could see the boy in the man's face.  I told him that I remembered him.  He played with Mike a lot until Danny's family moved to Amboy or Yacolt.
We talked about the littles and he said the little man looks exactly like Mike when Mike was little and it brought back really good memories for Danny.  I'm glad.
After he walked away and we continued on our way to the gum machines I told the littles that Danny was a friend of Daddy's.  The response I got was "oh, was he in prison, too?"  Oy.  No little honey's, Danny knew Daddy as a little boy.

Upcoming Move

I spent part of the morning signing paperwork and getting ready for Mom's move to memory care.  Wrote out the big check.  Ouch.  I'm pretty sure this is the last move though barring her needing excessive nursing skill care. The director is going to finish what needs to be done and we are set for Friday.
Mom will be there in time for Active Aging Week.  They have lots of extra activities planned.  One of those are go carting.  I have no idea if that would interest her, but I know when they talked about how they went zip lining last year Mom lit up.
I hope she is a little happier in the new place with lots of people and activities and great food.

Cats

Cats were everywhere today.  On backpacks, hanging on backpacks, on shirts and one pair of socks.  Those socks were pretty cool.  I've seen them on the internet, but they looked cooler in real life.  They come up over the knee with the cat ears and eyes.  And while I really liked them they aren't something I would ever wear.
My brother texted me that it was time for Phoebe to come home.  And my first thought is the cats aren't going to like that.  Well one will.  The bully cat has started spending most of her time outside because the other two are inside and playing.  The oldest and the youngest are now friends.  Ah such is life.  Phoebe will come back into the mix and the oldest will move back outside and the bully back in.  But the kitten will never back down from the dog.  She will be top dog/cat.

Bizarreness

This week seems to be a continuation of the bizarreness of late. It started this morning with a kid with his unicycle coming into the bookstore.  We did not make him check the unicycle.  He went in with his unicycle and bought whatever he needed and then left.  About twenty minutes later another kid comes through with a unicycle.  Now I'm pretty sure it isn't the same kid or the same unicycle.  But I ask just to be sure.  He said no he hadn't been in this morning.  I explained about the first kid and he goes "Oh, my brother is here today also."  Unbelievable.  I would have said the odds were great that it wouldn't happen, but I get the feeling this won't be the only time.

Night Out

Kaitlyn came over and babysat the kids.  They did nails.  The little woman has pink fingernails and purple toenails.  The little man has sparkly toenails.  He tells me it is blue, but really it is just the polish with glitter you put over other polish.  Anyway they are both happy.
My friend Doug and I went out for dinner.  Thai.  And it was delicious.  He hadn't ever had Thai food, but he loves all the other Asain cooking he has had.  His only complaint was it wasn't hot enough.  I tried a taste of the sauce and didn't taste any heat.
I had this all planned out a couple of weeks in advance.  There are only like a hundred Thai places in our county.  I calculated how long I would need the babysitter on eating downtown Vancouver.  Figured out the best day for all our schedules.  And then it all was different except for Kaitlyn.
I had mentioned my favorite local place and so that is where we went.  He came and picked me up and we had a great dinner and great company.
Afterwards I still had babysitter time.  So I ran to the grocery store.....by myself.  Picked up lunch items for the week hopefully.  At least for most of the week.  And then I did a mom visit.
It was a fabulous night out.  Thanks always to Kaitlyn for being our babysitter and thanks to Doug for being my friend and doing grownup things with me.

Fall

It just feels like fall is here.  The nights are cool.  Days are still warm.  I look around at all the work I still need to get done.  I think the poison I used on the blackberries might have lost it potency.  Didn't really do much.  There are a few yellowed leaves.  If that isn't going to work, I'm going to have to resort to the keep them cut at the ground.  At least that is easier now that they are cut way back.  Oy.
The very biggest priority though is getting the roof done.  I always think of that call when it can't be made.  So this weekend I emailed the guy.  Now we will see.  And so it goes.....on and on and on.

Fast

September seems to be going by so fast.  Maybe it is because I am working so much.  Next week is rush and then it should slow down for a month or so.  Looking forward to it.  Since Belinda quit we have just absorbed her hours and I think we are all getting tired.
This was a five day week again.  Next week is four even though it is rush.  I'm sure it has to do with my hours and not going over the rolling four and six month numbers.
Belinda noticed my stepping had stopped.  So she prompted me to get to the store and get a new battery and get back at it.  Did that.  Didn't hit 10,000 every day but did quite a few days.  It is hard to get back out there after work and finish up.  I have no motivation without the fitbit so it is good she pushed me.

And Another One

The littles were in the backseat talking about worldly things.  Somehow they ended up on weddings.  She told him that they kiss when they get married and that is so disgusting.
"Would you kiss the girl Connor?"
"Eww.  No, that is disgusting." "Would you kiss the guy Audrie?"
"Yeah."
Oy I think we are in for a fun ride with the little woman who is already wondering about kissing and weddings and babies and husbands and boyfriends.

A Quick Story

We took a nice little walk this evening.  It had been awhile since we did that.  We extended it to include a block across from our neighborhood.  We walked almost a mile and a half and that is a pretty good walk for the littles.
So the little woman decided she needed to do an art project.  We are a little lacking on paper, due to someone using a couple of reams of paper in the last couple of weeks.  So she found the paper plates and thought that would work.  It would become a lion.  She drew a face and a mane and colored it all in.  Then the little man wanted to do one also so he drew a face.  She helped him with the mane and they looked pretty cool.  They had forgotten I was in the room and the conversation went....
"Audrie, how did you become an artist?"
"I started coloring and then I just kept practicing."
"Oh"
He was talking with such adoration and she was talking like it was no big thing.
They each took their lions to school today and gave them to their teachers.  I should have thought and taken a picture of them, but I'm sure there will be more projects as there always are.

A Visit With Pigs

The last time I mowed at Betty's house I noticed there were some new piggies at Joe's house.  So I asked Joe if I could bring the kids over to meet the pigs.  He said sure and that the pigs are pretty tame.
Today seemed like a really good day to do that.  Joe has guinea hogs and they are pretty cute.  They don't get large like normal pigs do.  Aryanna took the kids out to meet them and feed them.  They all came in talking about the muddy noses.
I'm not sure which was the bigger draw, the pigs or the dogs.  Anyway we had a lovely visit and the kids got to see Aryanna, who they have been begging to see for a couple of months.  On the way out we stopped to check on the grapes to see if they were ready.  They were not for adults....still sour.  The little man thought they tasted just fine.
Thanks Joe.  It does the little kids good to experience all kinds of things.

Whew

I got to work about 20 minutes early.  I'm sure Brenda was glad to see me as I jumped right in to help her.  She had had UPS, FEDEX, UPS Freight and Frito all at the same time.  And waiting in the wings was ABF.  So boxes and pallets and chips.
I set about getting Jeremiah checked out so he could get on his way.  I was going to have to process the chips anyway so it was good for me to check him in.  Makes the next step quicker if I have already counted it before I start.  And he was almost fit to be tied.  I had missed the beginning of his not appreciating the UPS Freight guy.
Anyway we got the men on their way and all the stuff in the warehouse.  Then we spent the rest of the day trying to get it all processed and put away.  Busy busy Monday.

Grandparent's Day and a Block Party

We had Grandparent's Day at the assisted living facility today.  So we joined Grammy for lunch.  There was a choice of steak or nachos with blueberry pie for dessert.  The littles were well behaved and it went smoothly.
Then the evening came and it was time for a little block party.  Not everyone on the block attended, but there was a good turnout.  There was lots of food. Then the games began.  There was the water balloon toss which is always good wet fun.  And then they brought out the pinata.  It was a sturdy thing and took a lot of beating.  They broke a stick and an oar handle getting it to let go of the goodies.  The kids super enjoyed it.  The little man told me he was so happy....it was his first pinata.  It was her second.
I was so proud of the kids.  They helped clean up with no squabbles.  They just jumped in and helped.  When it was all done you couldn't even tell we had had a party in the street.

A Day to Ourselves

Our day started with a run up to Washougal.  A friend of mine was having a yard sale and had lots of girl clothes left.  So we relieved her of some of them including a fairy princess costume.  The kids had a good time playing with some of the toys at the sale and they took home a mini etchasketch and they love it.
After that we ran to Longview and then back to Woodland.  Played on the island for awhile and watched Uncle Pat fish.  The kids played in the sand.  Pat made the little man a feather headband and called him an Indian.  I said he was a little too white.
The late afternoon and early evening was spent working on taming our jungle.  The little woman was wearing her new costume.  And why shouldn't she?  A Princess can always trim wisteria if she wants to.  No one liked working in the blackberry vines though.  The little man bailed on that the first sight of blood.  Neither one seemed to mind mine though.  Sad that the birch tree died.  I leaned on it and one of the limbs just came off.  :(
After we pulled and pruned what we could I sprayed some heavy duty poison on the blackberries and the bindweed.  The new banes of my existence.  The littles really were a big help in doing the yardwork today.  Like it when it all works out nice.

Bedtimes

So this is the year that I am trying to be stricter about adhering to a school night bedtime.  Three school nights in and so far it is working fine.  Nine o'clock and lights out.  I thought I would get a lot of resistance, but I didn't.  Maybe having to get up so early has something to do with it.
We'll see how next week goes when we can sleep in a little later. ;p And tonight there is no bedtime and we get to sleep in till we wake up tomorrow.  Thank goodness.  Now watch.....someone will be up by 7.

IT Yay!

I love the IT guy at work.  Well normally I love Daren, but he is on vacation.  Daren used to work with us before moving over to the IT department.
So I somehow lost our freight log at work.  The battery died on the laptop and shut down.  I had to boot it back up to make sure the log had autosaved and it had.  Then I did a cut and paste of the days information into the real freight log.  Saved it, closed it and then it disappeared.  Completely.
After spending quite a bit of time trying to find it and not, I went and told the boss.  She told me to call IT help desk. I did that and that gal couldn't find it either.  So she put in a work order.
When I got to work today I had a freight log.  Yay!  The IT guy had found the file and recovered it.  It said I deleted it.  Now I'm sure I did as I was the only one in the warehouse.  I just have no idea how. I am hoping I haven't created a new hot key or something.  That would be really bad.
But it would have been awful to have to tell Liz what I had done when she comes back from vacation next week.

Family Night

They had family night at the assisted living facility.  So after work I picked up the littles and we went and had dinner with Grammy.  There was suppose to be entertainment, but something transpired and it didn't happen.  It was nice to see family members of the residents there.
The manager of the facility commented on the fact that there was a better turn out this month.  And I bet it is even bigger next month.
I see them making changes, but it is slow.  Nothing happens overnight.  It will be good for the residents though.
Mom is moving though and will not benefit much more from the changes.  Here is to hoping the new place is everything she thinks it is.  It is still a facility and there are still locked doors.

Last Day

It was the last day of summer break for the little woman.  Tomorrow she starts first grade.  She is excited and claims not to be nervous.  She will do fine.
We had a great summer.  We camped twice in the tent and once in a cabin, went to the midwest, attended the Clark County fair, took another set of swimming lessons and played.  We didn't hit as many parks as I would liked to have, but it's okay.  We had a pretty busy summer and enjoyed ourselves.
Now we need to get into the new routine for school.  Let's see how the bedtime goes.

Monday Monday

Mom was invited to take a little tour of one of the memory care facilities and have lunch.  The littles coming with was not part of the plan.  So I asked Uncle Pat if he would watch them so Mom and I could do that.  It is a holiday weekend afterall and I'm sure my babysitter would be busy.
Well he switched it up and asked if he could watch them at the island while he was fishing.  Of course.
So Mom and I went and did our thing while they did theirs.  Mom really liked the place.  She thought the people friendly and the food good.  So it looks like the search is over.  Now we move on to the next part of that.  Figuring out how the move will happen and when.
After I dropped Mom back at Creekside I went back to the island and spent the rest of the afternoon with Pat and company.  Watched the water and all the boats.  The kids had a blast.  They loved playing on the old Cat that got pulled out of the weeds.  They found caterpillars.  Almost made me want to bring one home to see if we could see it transform.  But alas, we did not have anything to do that with.  Relaxing to spend a couple of hours on the river.
Thanks Pat.  And we are still just taking life one day at a time.

Happy Birthday Dad

My dad would have been 75 today.  And it was funny how I kept finding his things in the garage as I was cleaning out there today.  Like I was meant to find them today.  Mom still had his wallet.
We've been without him for over 27 years and I can't even imagine what life would be like had he lived.  What he would think of how life worked out for all of us.  I know he would love my little woman and little man.  The little redhead would remind him of us other redheads in our youth.  He would love those great-grandchildren in Minnesota.  He would have a special place in his heart for the ones named after him.
I posted a blip on facebook about his birthday and got to hear a couple of stories I hadn't heard.  We all miss the man.
Happy birthday Dad.  Light and Love.

Taking It Easy

We did some work in the morning so as to not have a completely lazy day.  Then we lazed all afternoon.  Watched some Netflix.
Decided to try an Alfredo recipe for dinner.  The little man was a big help.  Then he tried the sauce and declared he did not like it.  It was a little too much.  Too much salt and too much seasoning.  We will try it again with less.  Although it was better when I put it on fettuccine.  Anyway the little man is really going to be quite a cook some day.  He always wants to help.
After dinner the little man fell asleep, so he got put in his own bed.  :)

Third One

So this morning I visited another memory care place.  I wish I could just take all the things I like from the various ones and put them all in one.  This one uses Teepa Snow training which is wonderful.  I just love her and find her to be so informative.
The thing that was different was this one invited me to bring Mom by on Monday for a mini tour and lunch.  So we are going to do that.  This place has a lot of activities.  There was singing going on when I was there.  I got to see their gardens.
This one for sure can be the final place unless Mom needs skilled care later on.  That is a plus.  The others may be that way also, but no one stated it.  And really I don't want to make any more moves unless we have to.  It is bad for dementia patients to have big changes in their lives.  And life throws enough big changes.

Meet and Greet

The little woman's school had their open house tonight.  We got to meet her teacher and see the room.  It is upstairs and that will be different.  I was amused when the teacher started talking about how there will be lines like there were in kindergarten.  We have no clue about that since we did not attend this school last year.  Neither did her new teacher.
Anyway the little woman is going to have a grand time.  They will be doing a lot of reading and writing.  There are many reading stations around the room to encourage the quiet time for reading.
Turns out our neighbor is in her class.  I thought he was ahead of her already, but I guess not.  So I told her to find him the first day and do what he does.  I'm sure it will be fine.
First grade.  Time is flying.