Let me set this up correctly. Last week when we were going through our get worse before it gets better phase the little man had a blowup (not his biggest ever). He had thrown a basketball at his sister and I took the ball away. That was the switch that got flipped. So he is mad at me and the anger had control. He grabbed my hair and I can't pry his fingers off my hair. So I stay attached to him to not lose hair. Naturally the little woman then has a panic attack and runs. She left the door open and went to one of the neighbors.
Lisa, the neighbor came back with the little woman and asked if I needed help. Nope. I don't. This will pass like it always does. Hopefully with my hair in tact (and if my hair gets threatened again I am getting it cut short). Three minutes later and it is done. He has calmed down. My glasses got broke when he laid on them. Not intentional but it did happen in the heat of the moment. It takes me awhile longer for the adrenaline to subside.
I walk down to pick up the little woman who had returned to the neighbor's house. On the way I noticed that Lisa was talking to other neighbors. Ones I just love because they are so caring.....but that is another story. We make great gossip in our neighborhood. Lisa realizes I am at her house and returns and I take the little woman home.
Now I have had a wee chat with Lisa before. Because the little woman runs when she is in a panic and she has discovered it is a good coping mechanism (and she gets great attention). I had told Lisa the little man was in counseling. She told me about a dog rescue group. I was always rather confused about that until this week. And obviously Lisa did not believe me when I said we were working on the problem with counseling because she did not tell CPS that when she called them.
Jump to this week. I came home from work on Monday to find a business card on my door and a voice mail on my phone. A social worker was trying to get ahold of me. I've been on this road before back in the day and CPS does not scare me. I returned her call playing phone tag. We finally connected and had a chat. Talking with her I figured it had to be my loving neighbors who called because no one told the SW about the counseling. As soon as I did she basically told me she needed to check that out and do a house check and then basically was closing the case. A formality. She had already talked to the kids at school. The little woman had told her about the rolling pin and how I put myself between her and her brother and try to deflect him when I can. If not I take the brunt of his anger. I have said for a long time...the only one being abused in my house is me. That doesn't mean that the little woman isn't affected though.
So yesterday was our house check day. So she saw that the kids have their own rooms. She saw that we have lots and lots of food in the house. She saw the house is relatively clean...except the kids' rooms. She read me the report that Lisa gave. As soon as the SW started reading, I realized it was not who I thought it was that made the report (although I always expected one would come from Lisa as she is a mandatory reporter). We talked about the things in the report. We talked about the kids and we talked about me. Some hard question.....like how do I take care of myself? What is the hardest thing about raising kids as a grandparent? We talked about the dog and her scar. And then it was time for her to go. She said she would check in with the therapist and let me know if she ever got anymore reports. And that was that. I'm doing what I am suppose to be doing.
I may have gotten it wrong, but it seems Lisa made the report because I minimalized the incidents she was privy to. I didn't open up and spill my heart out to her. And why would I? I've talked to Lisa basically three times, twice because of these incidents (and both times told her we were in counseling) and one time a year ago when she was calling other kids in the neighborhood terrible. The whole situation is embarrassing enough by itself without having to have someone judge you who is already gossiping about you with the neighbors.
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