My Turn to Win

Jodi and I went to the casino last summer.  We thought it was time to make a return trip.  Last time she went home with an extra $20 and I was $10 poorer, not counting our dinner. 
This time we had dinner first.  Enjoyed a Smashburger again.  They really are pretty good and an excellent value for $7.  We walked around a bit more and she wanted a beer.  I tried to have a glass of wine but no white zin.  I chose a Sunrise instead (costed $6).  We continued perusing and settled on a couple of machines.  She was winning and I was not.  Jodi wanted to play the chicken machine.  There are three and they were being used.  We kept walking and finally those people left and we settled into playing with chickens.  I had started my card with $10 and lost three at the first machine.  I was not having much better luck with the chickens.  I was down to $1.60 when I hit the chicken eggs.  I don't know how you get them but you choose eggs and the fox chooses eggs.  If you pick an egg with a chicken you get more eggs.  I must have ended up with five chickens and won $38 on that 50 cents.  Played it down to $35 and called it a night.  It was definitely my turn to win. 
We always get quite the kick out of the other people at the casino.  There are some characters. We left before the music started.  I think we are getting older. 

Never Boring

I spent almost two hours with Mom today.  Cami was so pleased that I got to see what she deals with 24/7 with Mom.  Upping the happy pill at night does not make it so Mom sleeps more.  She does not.  I had emailed the doctor's office Monday trying to get something new or some new suggestion. 
I received email back today that maybe it is caused by the prozac because she has been on it so long and to taper off it.  I have no problem with that.  At this point I'm not even sure if an anti-depressant is effective.  But it takes a week to taper off and then however long until it is out of her system.  And in the meantime she is running (almost constant restlessness now) on three hours sleep at night and sometimes a nap.  It is a real catch-22. 
I'm aware that all this new restlessness can be just progression of the disease.  Mom lives in her own world mostly.  She is talking to people we can't see and going places that aren't there.  But she doesn't know where she is going or what she wants to do or find.  She just knows she has to do it, find it, or go there.  I can't even interject myself because she is losing language a bit and things don't even make sense.  She told Cami the other day that the people who came in her room told her to get naked so she could go fishing.  And she did and came out and said she was ready to go fishing.  Maybe she needed a shower, but that isn't what she conveyed.  The irrationality of dementia is hard on rational people also. 
Because she is so much work Cami is upping the rent a lot.  I get that.  But Mom is wearing her out.  So I'm pretty sure it is time to find a new place that is back to being a memory care unit.  That way there is 24 hour staffing that isn't one person. 
When Mom lived at Highgate there was always one person who was wandering around the halls.  Just like Mom is doing now.  And that is why I think it is progression of the disease.  Maybe meds are interacting with the disease and making things harder for her.  I'm sure the lack of sleep is having an effect.  An effect on a brain that is already so compromised. 
My life is never boring. 

Realtor

I had commented to Mom's caregiver about selling her house.  She told her friend, who in turn called me.  He didn't tell me he was a realtor.  I figured it out the next day.  With the first call I thought maybe he was an investor type.  Well I already have a realtor and I told him so. Time for me to make things happen.
I called and made an appointment with the realtor who was very helpful to me when I was looking at mobiles. 
She came out today and looked around and agreed with Dale's assessment of about $10,000 worth of work for the cosmetics.  And she said it would only mean we could get $10,000 to $15,000 more so it was hardly worth doing the work.  She said there would be  no problem with getting investors, but they will want to lowball.  She was pretty sure this house fits in the first time home buyer group as it is getting to be the only way first timers can buy houses.  Ones that need a little sweat equity. 
So she is going to check the pulse of buyers.  And I'm going to empty the house.  The goal at the latest is still April 1, but sooner is better.  So I am shooting for two weeks.  And that is not much time.  Good thing I have already made a dent. 
Here we go. 

Coffee With Tom

Tom and I met up at the Bleu Door for coffee this morning.  He had breakfast.  We did the catch up thing.  It was really loud in there today.  Made having a conversation kind of hard.  The people right next to us were having a joyful time and laughing really loud.
After that we poked around in one of the bigger antique/second hand shops on Main.  We saw interesting things. One of them being this ashtray.  My dad had one just like it and it is being used out on the back porch at Pat's house.  I was surprised at the asking price of the one in the shop.  Too funny.  But like I always say, it is only worth that if you can find someone to buy it for that. 
Cami's friend called me back today.  Turns out he is a realtor.  Well I have one of those.  So that prompted me to make the call and schedule an appointment with Samm.  She is coming out tomorrow. 

Helping Betty

I woke up to email from Betty. She wanted to know if I could help her with a couple more book orders.  The email said tomorrow. I looked to see when she sent it.  Yesterday.  All right.  I'm good for today to help.  Nothing else on my plate.
So I had my coffee and wake up time and then headed over.  She had another book going over seas and a bigger box going to a store back east.  She said it was one of the biggest stores for weaving in the US.  It was a good sized order and made for a heavier box.  Not horribly heavy like boxes at the bookstore, but heavy for a box of books from home. 
So we packaged them up and I took them to the post office.  I also did a few odds and ends for her to make her life a tad easier right now.  I'm happy that I am in a position to be able to help.
On my way out I looked at the blueberries and the moss was still all blue.  Must take a lot of rain to wash the spray off the moss.  Hopefully that means that the plant is absorbing. 

My Mama

I try to visit Mom at least twice a week.  So I started this week on a Monday.  Cami told me that things are not getting better.  She showed me a couple of quick videos.  My poor mama.  She wanders looking for something but she doesn't know what she is looking for. 
We have tried upping the happy meds to see if she would sleep longer at night and that isn't working.  So she is still wandering in the middle of the night and waking the other residents.  Cami tells me if Mom is to stay there she is going to have to raise the rent.  A lot. 
On the positive side...the UTI looks like it is finally gone. 

Mowing

Logan came and mowed for the first mowing of the season.  Seems too early, but the grass was growing and it had been dry for a few days.  Rained after that and the backyard is a soggy mess.  Guess we timed that just right.
Before he came I got out in the backyard and picked up all the garbage that has accumulated.  Toys, pop bottles, dishes, etc.  I am always amazed at how it goes to pot every winter.  I wanted it to be as easy as possible for Logan to mow.  I just loved all the dog poop out in the yard.  There hasn't been a dog here since last spring. There is a fence board missing.  Now the neighbors on the other side put a play structure in front of it so the kids that get babysat there wouldn't come through.  The play structure doesn't stop their little dog.  I just didn't realize their little dog thought this is a bathroom.  I was really tempted to pick it all up and toss it back over the fence.  That's what I do with the garbage they throw in my yard.  But alas I did not.  And I tried to cover the hole better until someone can put up a new board.
I filled one black garbage bag.  It is the first of my next dump run pile.  And the grass looks better.

Gofer Day

Gofer Day got bumped due to the dump run yesterday.  So today was gofer day.  We finished the first torsion bar and Pat was unhappy with the result.  He said there was no way to fix the flaw that was created by having to turn the bar.  So he was going to take it to Firm Feel and have a discussion.  Worst case scenario was another company turn the lengths into torsion bars with a machine that they don't have to be turned on.  Next weekend is move the gun safe and engrave the shamrocks. 
I set up sweet and sour meatballs in the crock pot.  Cooked some rice and we had dinner.  It was delicious.  Thanks to Heidi for having May's recipe for the meatballs. 

Dump Run

So happy.  I had commented to Pat about needing to run a facebook ad for two guys and a trailer.  I had two couches and three chairs that needed to go to the dump.  All of that would not fit in a pick up bed.  I wanted them gone in one trip.  Pat said let's ask Dale.  He has a trailer....oh yeah.  He hauled a load of wood for Pat and had a big trailer.
Now I had forgotten how tall the trailer was or I would have had a lot more go.  All five pieces of furniture went as well as some odds and ends that were easily accessible.  We had it loaded in about 15 minutes.  Dale took it to the dump by himself but that wasn't going to take long as long as the dump wasn't busy.  His trailer is a dump trailer so he just had to make it lift. 
Dale also told me he would be happy to come back another day for another run because I am going to need it.  I'm so excited.  We also talked about house repairs and he knew someone who did that kind of work. 
Now when I had commented to the neighbor about the couches going, he asked what I was going to sit on....lawn chairs.  Well yes, yes I am.  Pulled my nice chair out of the camping stuff and that is what I am using until it is time to go.  And it even has a table attached.  Making progress. 

Moths

Did I tell you about my moths? No? At least a month before the kids moved we started having these small little moths flying around. One or two or once in awhile, maybe four. The kids had a good time trying to zap them with our zapper fly swatter. I'm aware they must be coming from somewhere. So I'm watching my flour, cereal products, etc for larva or whatever and finding nothing. I decided I was going to make a rice dish and pulled out my container that I have about four different bags of rice in (jasmine, brown, long grain, etc). Found the moths and larva. In my life I have never had bugs in rice like that. Discarded the whole lot. One of those bags had them in it. And how the heck do they get out of a sealed rubbermaid container as moths?

So today I am cleaning out drawers and cupboards. I am finding rice that has been here a long time....like a really long time....and nothing. No bugs, no moths. Makes you wonder.

Teamwork

Betty asked Joe to spray the blueberry bushes for her.  Her bushes started producing mummy berries many years ago.  She found an organic spray that takes care of most of that.  The bushes have to be sprayed every spring.  I guess the cause of the mummy berries is in the soil.  So he agreed to do it for her.  Judy insists she can't drive the tractor.  Maybe she doesn't want to drive the tractor with Joe.  Sometimes couples don't work together very well as a team.
So I got nominated to run the tractor pulling the wagon with the tank in it while Joe sprayed.  We dinked around for an hour.  The tires needed to be aired up on the wagon.  We had to test the pump.  Joe had to get into the suit and find a mask. 
It took us about a row and a half  to start getting the hang of how to do this efficiently.  Took two hours and two tanks of the organic mixture.  We had to fill the tank of the tractor.  And I actually made the one sharp corner that I usually can't even make when I'm mowing.  Amazing.  I only got a little bit on me, the most when Joe was stopping and accidently sprayed me. 
Joe and I work well as a team.  Glad we could help Betty out and get that done for her.  I told her I am picking berries this year though. 

Waking Up

I realized all that I have done the last couple of weeks.  I have helped Betty with her book project.  I have visited Betty three times and will see her this week.  I helped a guy out with an experiment he was doing for his dissertation.  I scrounged a coupon back out of my recycle bin for a guy who needed a haircut for a new job.  He didn't want to pay almost $20 and Yeah...I get that....I took some cfl light bulbs to the city hall for disposal and got new LED bulbs.  I have been helping Pat and running Mom around and picking up prescriptions for her.  I have also visited her three times a week for the past couple of weeks.   I have made several trips to the Goodwill and have made sure my garbage cans are full (I only go through one bag of garbage on my own).  Making dents in the work here to get the house ready to go on the market.  I have kind of patched some holes and realize I need help. 
Spent the first couple of weeks sans kids just lounging around.  Recuperating.  Resting.  Feeling really sad and just feeling it.  Missing them and feeling it.  But then I could feel myself starting to wake up and wanting to get stuff done.  And that is where I am at in my journey. 

The doctor's office called, and lo and behold, Mom still has a UTI.  They gave her a new antibiotic.  Sure hope this one knocks it out.  It really is part of the problem she is having lately. 

Two Weeks in a Row

We had family dinner again today.  That makes two weeks in a row.  We never do that.  We usually at the most do every other weekend.
I picked Mom up and Margaret said she was super restless today.  I'm not surprised.  I think she still has a UTI.  I will have to follow up on that tomorrow.
Pat made us spaghetti with meatballs.  He says he really like it with meatballs.  Just like my little man.  Mom says she likes it with meatballs.  I can go either way....with meatballs or with hamburger in the sauce.  But if they like it with meatballs then why did we always eat it the other way until just recently.
It was delicious.  He used a different sauce than I do.  I was afraid I wasn't going to like it because I don't tend to like Prego.  But this wasn't the normal Prego, it was called Farmer's Market.  Nice change.
After we got done eating Mom was ready to go back.  So I quickly cleaned up while Pat got her ready and in the car.  Took her home and there she had dessert.  Maybe that is why she wanted to go back....we did not have dessert.

Lathe

Yesterday was suppose to be our work in the garage day.  Pat uses me as motivation to get things done and as a gofer.  We have been working every Friday for many weeks now.  But mom's doctor appointment took a big chunk out of the afternoon so we postponed. 
So today became our day to work in the garage until Monsta's appointment for her grooming.  So we finished up the shamrocks.  Then we started getting the lathe ready for torsion bars.  Machining is very meticulous work.  After that part then making the product becomes just a series of watching the machine work.  Our goal was to get the lathe all set up and one started to make sure the settings are right.  Then Pat will make some during the week.
We took Monsta to her appointment and then we took the shamrocks to the powder coaters.  I really wanted to get a picture, but I was not sure how.  Turns out powder coating is done with electromagnetics.  He magnatizes the metal and sprays the powder.  Then the powder sticks to the part and stays.  Very interesting.  He has a big air filtrating system set up to keep most of the powder out of the air.  The shamrocks will be ready in about a week.  Making progress. 

Amazing

I picked Mom up and went to her appointment.  We saw a PA today.  And I was absolutely amazed in a positive way.  It was the first time I felt completely heard.  He had looked at her chart and we discussed a bit of what came before, like the UTIs.  He listened to all the new concerns and had ideas.  He also upped one of her meds to help her sleep hopefully.  He explained some things that we can do later if the UTIs keep happening.  He said the geriatric psychologist had reviewed her file last fall and told us what he said.  He also acknowleged that we didn't get that information.  Somehow it fell through the cracks. 
I felt very positive when we left the office.  And most times I don't. 

Stuck Brain

Now I understand the stuck in a loop thing that the little woman gets sometimes.  I have been pondering the Mom situation for several weeks now.  Back and forth, back and forth.  And some how I got it in my head it had to be either or.  Where she is or with me.  Finally the cloud lifted and I realized there are a lot more choices than that. 
Right now I have a lot of patience with Mom.  And it is because I don't have to deal with dementia 24/7.  And I need to maintain that patience.  So I'm back to being fine.  If we get asked to move her because she is too much work, then we get asked and we find some other place.  But that place is not home with me. 
Hopefully we get positive results at the doctor's office tomorrow and it leaves us with the status quo for awhile.  And for now I can breathe again. 

Limbo

I hate limbo.  I had a plan all worked out.  There were many layers to the decisions I was making. 
The last couple of times I have been to visit Mom, have kind of left me feeling confused.  I hear the complaints about how much work she is and how much she is costing.  And the underlaying feel is if we can't stop her restlessness and potty issues that she will not be able to stay there.  It's not said that way.  It is said that she can't afford carpet cleaners often. 
Now I have been, again, doing research about dementia.  The restlessness is just part of the disease as are the potty issues.  I did not look for an ACH that did not deal with dementia.  Because that is what she has.  I'm not hiding anything, although I was shocked at where we were when we brought her to the ACH.  But the disease progresses.  It doesn't go backwards.  And I certainly want all four women who live there to be safe.  And that is commented on, although no one says she is still being combative since she got a new med. 
We were suppose to have the doctor appointment to see what, if anything, can be done.  I'm not sure.  And what if there isn't?  The disease is progressive. 
Here is the limbo part.  Am I getting her house ready for sale, or am I getting her house ready for her to move back home with me?  If we work things out at the care home for now, sell her house and then have the disease take another blow and she is asked to leave.....then what?  Because there are always going to be things that are beyond the normal aging.  She is always going to be a lot of work now.  And I need to make a decision soon.  The money is almost gone and her house is her last asset.  Oy. 

Of Course

Mom was suppose to have a doctor appointment this morning.  Naturally the office called to reschedule.  The doctor was sick.  In the time she has been at Cami's house that has happened twice.  If the doctor is sick there really isn't anything that can be done, but it is frustrating.  It isn't like me having an appointment.  I can go at will and without effort. 
So I went and spent about an hour with Mom today because Tuesday has become my day to do that. That freed up Cami to easily make lunch.  Mom is restless and doesn't sit still.  Cami has discovered that just letting her go up and down the hallway with a chair seems to help.  That is better than Cami going up and down the hallway.  Mom doesn't have a great sense of balance anymore and she is hard to get up if she falls to the floor. 
That is what I did until lunch.  We paced the hallway.  We would go to her room and she would lay down and close her eyes.  Maybe a minute later she would open her eyes and get back up and back down the hallway we would go.  She did stop long enough to eat some of her lunch.  We made a couple more passes down the hallway and then she got into bed and actually did fall asleep.  I waited awhile to make sure she really was asleep. 
This is a big change.  And everything I have been reading....it is just the progression of the disease.  Cami had gotten another refill of the calm down pills and that is probably why her brain was quieter today. 

Cleveland

I have lots of time, but I kind of like to have a plan.  Now mostly my plans always go awry, but I feel better having them.  Hmm, maybe I have anxiety.  Anyway Leo told me I can come when I want and stay as long as I want.  He suggested we ride the train into Cleveland for some touristy things.  The train eliminates parking in Cleveland.  Gee that sounds exactly like me and Portland.  If I can ride Max, I most certainly will. 
He suggested we go to an Indian's game.  I knew that meant baseball.  No idea how, but I knew.  Baseball is a slow game.  But when we went to SLC way back we went to a minors game and I really enjoyed it.  And we attended a Mariner's game in Seattle once.  I like baseball more in person than on TV. 
He wanted to know what I wanted to do.  Said most tourists want to go to the rock and roll museum.  Well maybe, but I was more interested in the Old Arcade which is a mall.  I'm not into shopping at Malls.  This one has such fabulous architecture and I want to see it if possible.  I also would love to go to the Westside Market.  So that is our tentative plan for our day in Cleveland.  And he suggested going out for Hungarian food to end the day if our timing is right. 
I'm very much looking forward to my time in Ohio.  Mostly I'm just excited to meet Eleanor.  Not really.  Leo is the draw, but the dog is icing on the cake. 

Family Dinner

I picked up a pizza and Mom.  Today is National Pizza Day.  So Papa Murphy's had a special coupon for $5 off a family sized pizza.  We went to Pat's and he already had the oven hot.  Mom ate three pieces of pizza.  Must have hit the spot for her. 
She wasn't as restless today, but still in her own world.  We just rolled with it.  She has a doctor appointment this week, but I'm not sure what, if anything, they can do.  I think the disease is just progressing and this is what we see.  Some things she seems to grasp, but otherwise she is almost oblivious to our conversations. 
We made plans to do family dinner again next Sunday.  Methinks perhaps Pat realized how far she has progressed today.  I see her more than he does. 

Early

The little woman does not really understand about time zones.  She called me at 6:15 this morning.  It wasn't that early for her.  We chatted for about 15 minutes and then she wanted to know how come she couldn't see me in the video.  Well because it was still dark here and I was still in bed.  About that time Mommy told her to say good night and let me go back to sleep.
Last year I sure did not like being woke up that early.  This year it doesn't bother me.  Must be moving into Nana mode.  ;p
I did manage to go back to sleep for awhile.  And then I had some energy and motivation to start working on clearing out the medicine cabinet and under the sink cupboard.  I was amazed at how much stuff I had there that got thrown away.  Making progress.

Dinner at Giuseppe's

Pat and I made a Costco run.  And then we ran up to Camas for dinner at the Puffin Cafe.  We did not get to have dinner, but we went there.  There was a sign on the door about being closed for kitchen remodel.  Then Pat looked them up.  Their website said nothing about being closed, but their facebook page did.  It also showed their hours as closing at 6, so even if they hadn't been closed for remodel we would have been too late.  We got there a little after 6.
So then we went to Giuseppe's over in Portland.  Pat had chicken parmigiana and I had fettucini.  I didn't even eat a third of the plate.  It really was a huge portion.  It was a very nice dinner and we ate in the lounge.  That is one of the strange things for me.  I have almost always had minors in my care and have not been able to eat in lounges when the restaurants are full. 
Thanks Pat for a lovely dinner. 

Mom is in Her Own World

Went to visit Mom today.  I have no idea where she is in her head.  She kept talking about someone right there giving us information and how we had to weigh it and decide if it was good information.  I think maybe about bunions.  She introduced me to Cami.  She is extremely restlest. 
Once I got home I made a doctor appt. for her.  This may just be progression of the disease.  She is sundowning again and that is not good in an adult care home.  So we have to see, if anything, what we can do about that.  And just the restlessness and moving all the time. 
I find it funny how when she is in this state she gets around a lot better.  She still reaches for hands and railings but never acts like she is losing her balance.  Anyway she has an appointmet next week.
Then I also called their med management program to get that ball rolling.  A pharmacist will look at exactly what she is taking and make recommendations on any changes that may need to be made.  I suspect there are some. 

She's Mad

Had a chat with the little woman today.  I had told her of the plans to move.  She got mad and said is that why you made us move out here so you could move by yourself.  No, no it was not.  So I explained she needs to live with her mom and her siblings and David.  And it had nothing to do with me moving.  Me moving is because I am going to sell Mom's  house.  And I need to have somewhere to live.  I'm really surprised she didn't ask me to move out there, but that is okay.  I would have had to tell her no.
We also talked about when exactly I was coming to visit and that seemed to make her calmer.  She doesn't like change.  And she likes to know exactly what is happening and when.  It's partly normal and partly her anxiety.  She felt better by the end of the conversation and more understanding.

Red Velvet

As I was driving to a bakery that I knew had Red Velvet cupcakes, I was reminded of many searches before to find them.  Red Velvet was not the little's favorite, but once a year they had to put up with it or go without. 
These cupcakes at this bakery were small.  Like the size you would make at home.  And so I got two.  And then when I got home I ate one.  And I was disappointed.  When you buy singles at a bakery you are paying a lot more than say a grocery store bakery.  So after eating that one I wished I had went to Larson's on the off chance they had Red Velvet.  Larson's was the last place I got one and it was divine. 
I don't know what the policy is at this bakery.  But I would swear that first cupcake was yesterday's cupcake.  The part exposed to air had a stiffness to it.  And the frosting was stiff also. 
After dinner, from Golden Tusk, I was watching a movie and decided to eat the other cupcake even though the first one was disappointing.  It was there....I had to eat it.  Well it was a totally different cupcake.  I would say that cupcake was fresh today.  No stiffness and the frosting had much more flavor.  Still not as good as Larson's, but pretty good. 

More Dents

Par for the course....I have started working on some other piles.  And I have finished no piles.  Well that is not true.  Under the table is cleaned out. But it took me several different days to get it done. 
Today I worked on clearing off Mom's dresser.  I have a big box filled with clothes to go to the Goodwill.  I have almost a garbage bag of garbage. 
I'm trying hard to be aware.  Not throwing garbage (clothes with holes,etc) into the Goodwill boxes.  Garbage needs to go to the garbage can. 
I have another box filling for the littles.  It amazes me the things that turn up.  Toys that had been missing.  I have found five pairs of scissors.  I have found twenty pens and many teaspoons. 
Anyway my piles are diminishing.  And that is progress.  Going to have to pick up the pace soon though to get done by the end of March. 

One

It's almost a month since the kids moved.  Today there was a knock on the door and then the doorbell rang.  Why do kids do that?  Anyway it was a newer friend.  My understanding is she lives with one parent and then the other parent moved into the neighborhood last summer/fall.  So she came to see if the kids could play. 
Before the little man left he pretty much said good-bye to all his friends in the neighborhood.  He may have missed a couple, but he has a large circle. So it really doesn't surprise me that none of them have come by.  I have the oldest ipad so I know when our old neighbor "calls" him to play roblox. 
The little woman on the other hand told no one.  She did not say good-bye to anyone.  She did not go to school with me to return items.  I thought she might so she could say good-bye to the one friend she had in class.  She opted not to.  I would have thought that maybe one of her friends in the neighborhood would check up on her.  Now I don't know why I thought that.  History has already proven that no one ever checks up on her.  The last couple of months she was only playing with one girl, who no longer lives in the neighborhood.  That girl would come over and they would go play.  I don't expect to see her because her grandparents know that my kids moved. 
I find it kind of sad that only one came by to play.  One. 

Update

There was an evening event at the kids' school.  Cassie took this picture of the little man.  I so miss that little face and all those wonderful hugs.  He is doing all right there.  He tested the limits almost right at first.  Found out Mom doesn't mess around and has been much better since then. 
I laugh at this picture because he is wearing a hoodie and shorts.  I thought the cold back there might change that, but I guess not.