Saturday, January 21, 2012

Heartbroken, But Wiser

So this is the email that I woke up to. I have not had any contact with Tanya since Christmas and this is what I got. Really?
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Date: Sat, 21 Jan 2012 00:33:16 -0800
From:
Subject: My thoughts and issues
To:
CC: kristie; douglas


I have a couple of issues that I think need to be brought up. First off I want to say, even though you should know already, I love you and always will…you are my parents.
I want to solve the issues that you have with me and the ones I have with you. I would like for you guys to keep up the Nana days for as long as Elizabeth wants them to last. I feel as if this doesn’t stop, I am going to have to take her out of the situations that you are putting her in. I have to think of my kids FIRST. You have even said this in the past about other situations that have come up.
First issue: Nana day with Elizabeth. I think it is awesome that you do this with her and have kept it up with her for so many years.
That being said, you have said that when Adrianna was out of diapers you would do a Nana day with her. It has been 2 yrs since she has been out of diapers and you have only done a Nana day with her a couple of times. You said that you aren’t doing one because I didn’t respond to an email….I think that’s bs. There really wasn’t much for me to say. I figured that if you had a day and time to pick her up you would let me know. It doesn’t affect me that you don’t have one with Adrianna. It affects Adrianna. She sees Elizabeth go with you every other Thursday. She is heart broken that she doesn’t have a Nana day too. You ask Elizabeth to come over all the time to spend the night, or to do this or that. I think you have only asked for Adrianna to come over a couple of times…every other time it was me asking to have an adult night. And I do thank you for that. I would also like to say that if you missed Adrianna so much, you know my phone number and email address. All you have to do is get a hold of me and you can have her whenever you want.
Also, when you change your Nana days it would be nice if you also asked me to make sure that it is ok. Majority of the time it is but I would still like to know. And when you make plans with Elizabeth to just come over and hang out or spend the night. I would like the courtesy of an email or phone call or text. Yes she is old enough to make her decisions but she still has to go through me.
Second issue: I understand if you are with company answering texts or phone calls are rude. BUT if I call or text Elizabeth she needs to answer her phone. I am her Mother. I try not to bother you guys when she is with you. Unless I feel that it is important enough to tell her. Tonight I texted her to let her know that I was leaving the house in case she was coming home earlier then normal….Since I never know when she’s coming home I didn’t want her to show up and not know where we were. The phone call, she butt called me and I was only yelling ‘hello’ to get her to hear me. I never yelled at her for not answering my text. I don’t know what you think you heard…maybe I was talking loud…as I was driving.
Third issue: I don’t appreciate how you guys bad mouth me to my 12 yr old daughter. She does not need to hear things like that. I am her Mother.
As for them coming to live there? What is that all about? I don’t do anything to lose my kids over!! I am the best single mother that I can be. I don’t have a ex spouse to help raise them…I do it all on my own. Ok so I may not do things ‘right’ all the time, but I give them what they need and yes…want. If you have a problem with me, then come to me not to her. It upsets her to hear you guys bad mouthing me.
Fourth issue: What is up with you thinking that I have bad taste in men? You have only met one guy and it was 3 yrs ago. I know there have been some pretty bad ones but there has been a few decent guys too. They just didn’t work out for one reason or another.
The guy I’m with now….you never met him, know nothing about him other then the couple things Elizabeth has told you, but yet you still think he’s a bad guy? What gives you the right to do that? He doesn’t do drugs and he’s a great Dad to two beautiful girls. If you don’t want to meet him that’s fine, but you can’t say that I’m not trying to include my family in my relationship with him.
I know you looked him up and told the courts about him living here….he wasn’t hiding or anything but to go behind my back and do something like that is not right. All you saw were bad things when you looked him up. Do you ever think that maybe he has some good things about him too? He’s served 3 tours in Iraq and multiple other great things. If you asked about him then you would know. I know you want to look out for the girls and me, but do you not think that I can look out for my girls on my own? Am I that bad of a Mom that I don’t think I know what I’m doing? If I for once thought that he was bad for me or to be around the girls I wouldn’t be with him right now. I know it’s hard for you to hear and accept that I’ve grown up and can make my own decisions for my life and my kids’ lives.
Fifth and last issue for now: I don’t know why you are accusing me of being a drunk. I don’t drink every night, all day long. Or what ever. Every once in awhile I’ll have a night out and drink. I always have a DD and am with my friends. I am always safe. I know my limit as do my friends. I stop before it gets out of hand. I know you don’t believe me in all that but it is true. I don’t want the girls to lose another parent.
As for my friends, I don’t know why you think they are drunks too. Just because they go to a bar? The reason they go to the bar, she has hip problems and can’t go to every friends house, so she goes there to see everyone at the same time. What is wrong with that? I don’t see anything wrong with that. Yes it’s a bar and they sell drinks. 90% of the time they AND I drink Pepsi!! You can believe me or you don’t, that is your choice. I can not change your mind. I can just tell you the truth.
I hope you can take this and not get so mad at me that you want nothing to do with me. I hope this can help bring us back to where we were at a year ago. I don’t know what happened with us and why you think I’m such a bad person/ mother/daughter. I am trying my best for everyone….including myself.

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