Mike got out of jail again yesterday. The charge for use of narcotic/heroin was dismissed for lack of evidence. After he was released I took him to check in at DOC and he was released from probation. It was his lucky day.
I picked him up so I could have the little chat with him. The one that says I have not given up on him no matter what anyone tells him. The one that says I can't help him any more because any help that I give is now just a hindrance and helps him kill himself quicker. He had a tough time with that one for a moment until I explained that if I provided anything for him then he doesn't have to provide that for himself. Leaving him free to spend any money or currency that he gets on drugs. That he actually understood and understood my position. I told him I would do recovery for him if I could, but obviously I can't. He has to walk that path if he so chooses and I know he is smart enough and strong enough to do it. But it is his choice. I am his mom and I can't help him kill himself. I can't stop him from doing it, but I won't help anymore.
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