Arcadia Beach

So I looked it up.  Apparently there was a slide on the trail that leads down to the beach.  Closed until they have time to get to it and repair it.  Didn't appear to be a pressing need to whoever does that.  So that answers that question.  It is a nice beach though.  It is the first one the little man ever saw when we drove down and the car broke down in Astoria.

Look how little he was in July of 2014.

And the Rain Came

After a beautiful Saturday we woke up to rain.  I've got to say that the Best Western Long Beach Inn had the best continental breakfast I have had in a  long time.  Actually got hash browns, sausage and eggs.  The littles were psyched that there were chocolate chip muffins.
We managed to look at some stuff.  We were disappointed that we couldn't get down to the beach at Arcadia Park.  Don't know why it was blocked off, but it was.  Still had a great view.
Mid afternoon had us back on HWY 26 heading home.  I haven't been on that  highway in years and years and years.  Made a little different trip home.
It was such a nice weekend.  Glad we went.

Off to the Beach

Since weekends are hard we decided to go to the beach.  I have planned on it every weekend for the past four weeks.  And then we just don't go.  And I hit every Sunday night thinking we should have went.  Would have been so much nicer.  So this time we went.
In Astoria we had McDonald's.  They told the kids that since we were eating in they got a treat.  Wait...what?  Supposedly anytime you order a happy meal and eat in they are suppose to give you  a little kid cone.  Now I have been to a lot of McDonald's and not one has ever offered that.  I have always had to buy them a cone on the occasions we had one.
Stopped at Fort Columbia and played around in the gun batteries.  The little man got a big kick out of exploring them.  He didn't find them spooky or anything.  Not even where they were dark.  She wanted to spend time playing with her my little ponies, but she did do some exploring.
Then at the beach he wanted to play "Dare the Wave" and she played ponies.  They made a friend and fed the seagulls.  I thought that was really cool that their new friend shared her bread with them for that.
For dinner we had food at the Loose Caboose in Long Beach.  The littles ordered chocolate milk.  I totally noticed how one of the employees zipped to a store to buy chocolate syrup to make those chocolate milks.  I had fish and it was good.  Connor said his chicken was good and she agreed the french fries are good.  Service was excellent.  We left a super tip.
And then it was time to settle in at the hotel.  Met more dogs there.  We meet dogs every where we go.

Long Week

And we survived it.  In fact there were days the littles wanted to stay at daycare longer.  Seems I always came at play outside time.  And if I had them checked out we had to leave.
I worked hard all week.  I had help on Wed. and people passed through the warehouse enough for me to have a little company.  I only ran across a couple of issues that I couldn't deal with.  I only left two boxes unprocessed.  And I was impressed with how much food passed through the warehouse.  I had no idea we were selling that much.  When it comes in in the morning, usually I don't see it.  Therefore I have no clue we are way up on sales for that.
I had thought about taking a class.  Had to jump through some hoops and pay $25 for admission.  I was a tad annoyed.  Naturally after that there is no problem with me taking a class.  Bam.  When it is time to register the class is full.  All three versions of it.  Absolutely figures.  And it would have costed $300.  Just for fun.  I have decided to look for a free online class and I bet I find one.  I'm not going to finish my degree.....it was just something that interested me, but not enough for $300.  $300 buys an awful lot of activities for the littles.

Food

It was a glorious afternoon.  My plan was to collect the littles and head to a park.  Well we never made it.  The little woman had a big meltdown. I wish I could read that happening just a few minutes earlier and get food in her.  I have discovered that is one of the triggers for her temper tantrums.
Another good plan would be to keep some good snacks in the car for her to eat when she feels it coming on.  She knew today and wanted McDonalds.  I didn't want McDonalds.  Have to think on this.  What can I keep that isn't  perishable in the car that I won't have to replenish every other day.
Anyway after I did get food in her everything was smooth and quiet.  We went to Walmart and got lunch things and then we cuddled in bed watching TV.

More Fun With Marti

It was the last home game of the season.  Employees of the college got in free so the littles and I went.  We sat with Marti and Alan.  The littles had a really good time and mostly they didn't watch the game.  But they were so well behaved and quiet it was amazing.  They did enjoy the band though.  Every time the band started they stopped what they were doing to watch and listen.  Audrie really likes the saxophone.
The game was exciting.  It came down to the wire with Clackamas getting a basket in the very last second of overtime to win the game. The Clark guys played hard.  I am reminded how hard the job is of referee.  We clapped and hooted and hollered.  Audrie even got into the jam of defense, defense, defense.
We had a really good time and I'm glad we went.  Bet we are tired tomorrow though.  

LOL

Another long day.  Another call with Brenda.  She actually called me before I called her.  I got distracted with my cookie monkey order.  She really wanted the day off since it was her Mom's birthday.  Happy birthday Debbi.
I knew UPS was only bringing like twenty boxes and that was about all I expected.  I didn't know a Walmart trip was the order of the day.  Twenty one bags.  Took me almost two hours to process and price.  Got that done, but not all of the UPS.  No worries though as it left me something to do tomorrow.
We are still counting down the days to Westwood Commons.

Long Days

So Liz is on vacation this week.  That means I am working long days all week.  Great for the paycheck.  Makes me appreciate my normal schedule.  Today I got all my work done and the big boss sent me home early.  Said she would listen for the door if anything came.  They are always watching those hours and making cuts where they can.  I was happy to go.  The rest of the week will probably be different.
Since I was in charge I called and told Brenda to take the day off.  I could tell early that it was one of those slower days and I didn't need any help.  She didn't seem to mind.

House?

I have this crazy idea running around in my head.  Perhaps instead of renting for a long time it may be time to check into creative financing and buy a house.
After three months in Mom's house, I have discovered that I don't want it.  Even if it became mine.  I really dislike the layout although not as much as I dislike the rental house's layout.  So I am definitely revamping my long term plans.
Looking online I can get a mortgage for almost the same payment as rent.  So I need to consider it and check further.  It does seem silly to rent when I can buy.  The only drawback is I would be responsible for my own upkeep/repairs.
We shall see if this idea bares fruit.

Again and Again

We weren't up for half an hour yesterday before we were again told to move. Guess we are back on the every weekend schedule.  Just usually it happens later in our weekend....not half an hour in. We were also told if we didn't like it we could move.  After a couple of hours of the rant and then the sing sing and then the rant and then the sing sing...we left.  Needed to pick up the little man anyway.
We went to the mall and killed the afternoon.  Got home and she was mad at us again for going somewhere without her.  She only gets to go when we take her.  And while that is true I can't even imagine taking the three of them places anymore.  We leave so she can have quiet and we don't have to listen to the rant.  Can't win no matter what I do.

Time At the Mall

So Kinzlee got some earrings.  And I thought....hey the little woman might like some earrings.  Yup.  The ones she really liked weren't anywhere near age appropriate.  She found some that were more Nana approved.  Then we made our way upstairs to jump.  That took forever.  There was a line and right before us they closed for a break.  Now I don't begrudge those girls lunch. So we played on the quarter toys until they came back.  Paying close attention so we were first when they came back.  And we were.  Now the little woman has done this before so she knew what it was all about.  It was his first time.  I wasn't always sure he liked it, but he said he did.  And he did smile through a lot of it.  Then it was time to head downstairs and see the puppies and play at the play place.  It was a very busy day at the mall.  I think every one had the same idea.
We should have spent the afternoon outside, but it was a nice change in our routine.

The Hunt

So we gave this a good try.  Three months and it pretty well said it doesn't work.  It is not good for any of the four of us.  And we should have stuck with the original plan.  Hindsight is twenty twenty. That said...we have been looking for almost a month for a new place to live.  Our own little space.  Space is at a premium and it shows.
One of the places we looked at was a one bedroom.  Now the bedroom was good sized and the living room dinky.  Lovely kitchen, small dining area.  We didn't make the income requirement.  We could have if I would have done it right, but I really didn't like it. And I was much annoyed to begin with.
The manager and I were talking about the income requirement and whether savings counted.  That was how I got into Clark Ave. was my savings.  Well no, it doesn't count at that particular place.  She wanted a co-signer or even better a co-leaser.  I'm looking at her thinking it is a one bedroom apartment....they are only allowed to rent it to three or less.  If I had a co-leaser, I sure as hell wouldn't be looking at her dinky apartments....I'd be moving in with some man who already owned a house.  And since that is not where my life is headed I was looking at her dinky apartments.
Hindsight and everything works like it is suppose to....I got an apartment back at the place I looked at in Dec.  Meets all my requirements.  And I meet the income requirement.  Funny how it is a two bedroom renting for the same as the one bedroom I couldn't get.  Water, sewer and garbage are still paid here.
Now we need to adjust our long term plans.  Because they have all changed with the possible exception of at sometime living in the rental house.  All depends on life, choices and cap gains hits.

Moving

So we got the apartment we applied for.  The process took a week.  Sure can tell that they can be a lot pickier in the market now with vacancies so low.  Anyway now we wait for the current tenant to vacate and the cleaning to do.  The manager guesstimated Mar 5 or so.  Only two more weeks.  We can hold on that long knowing there is an end date.
Then we will have to start the process again of figuring out how we handle the mom situation.  I just know that way it is now does NOT work.

Interesting Girl

I see the little woman growing in so many ways.  She is maturing.  Still throws nice temper tantrums, but fewer of them.  She amuses herself better if she needs to.  Lately she has been interested in the body.  Especially babies in the body.  We have done a lot of talking about that.  We have been talking about how bodies grow and the nutrition they need.  She understands protein for muscles.  And she understands calcium for bones.  So she pops off with what happens if we don't have bones.  What an intriguing question from a little girl.
It just so happened that at about this time we had a Mr. Thrifty Skeleton on clearance at work.  He was missing a femur, but the rest of the bones were there.  So I bought him for $5.  Much better than the normal $60 price tag with two femurs.  They devoured those bones.  Looking at them and where they connected.  Talking about them.  Showing me where other things in the body fit in.  Like the stomach.
I have been slowly getting rid of old textbooks.  Well the little miss grabbed one to keep.  She calls it the brain book.  It is an anatomy book.  And she looks at all those pictures.
I love how she is pursuing her interest all on her own.  I love that she is interested in how her world works starting with her body.  Her brain works different than mine, but she is still a smart little cookie.

Dreams

I dreamt of my Vegas.  I say my Vegas because it is the one I created in my head.  Now usually when I dream of my Vegas I fly there...so I dream of my airport, etc.  What I find funny is I dream many many many dreams using the same landscapes.  The places I have created I have never been to.
This time I did not fly to my Vegas.  And that is unusual.  I know why I dreamt of Vegas.  Sometimes I can figure out what caused my dreams.  What thing in my life I'm trying to process.
My dreams seem like they are almost another world for me. Since I visit the same places so often.  I don't have a lot of the same people though.  I think Dave is there most for people I know.  Just kind of strange.
I guess it is even stranger is how vivid this dream was and that I still remember it twelve hours later.

Mona

Visited with my friend Mona today.  We had six months to catch up on.  Always amazed at how much our lives run together.  We get the same problems.
We talked about paintings.  I get to pick one of hers as she is trying to downsize.  Told her I would pick it next time.  We talked about kids and yards and old friends.  We talked about Arizona a lot.  She had just spent three months down there.  I had a feeling about that.
She is slowing down, but she is painting again.  And doing beautiful work.  She said she went through her portfolio and had tons of work she didn't even remember painting.  It just comes easy for her.  Natural talent.
I missed her so much and am so glad we found a few minutes to catch up.

RIP Darian

My friend's grandson died last weekend.  And I keep thinking about him.  He was 18 years-old.  I don't know his whole family tree, but I know on my friend's side he had his father, his grandparents and a brother.  And they are all taking it hard.  My friend says she is not, but I know she is.  She said she has expected the call for a long time. Been there.
I don't know if he was clean.  All I know is he had complications from a surgery.  Even if he was clean he may have already caused damage to his body so that it could not handle the surgery.  Or it just could be fate.  However it happened a young life is gone.  A brother is left without his sibling.  A father without his child.  Grandparents without one of their two grandchildren.  It is sad.
So RIP Darian.  Love and light to your whole family and you.

Nothing Sunday

We didn't do anything today.  Took the whole day off.  Watched a lot of Netflix and cleaned up the DVR.  Naturally after being quiet all day the littles got ramped up in the evening.  Luckily it didn't last too long. Back to routine tomorrow.

Old Friends

John messaged me early in the week.  He had been thinking about us.  So he invited us over for today when he would be back in town.  Obviously he is working out of town again.  Said he would have his kids till this afternoon.  So at the right time (when John is awake) we went over and had a lovely visit. The littles visited for awhile and played with the cat.  And then they disappeared over to the neighbors' house.  John has went through a transition and seems much more calmer and happier and I am happy for him.
When it was getting close to time for John to take his kids back to their mom's house I went to the neighbors and had another lovely visit there.  Kenny was in good form with his sense of humor.  And Ericka said she would babysit for me so I can go to Harvey's again with my friend Doug.  I will be able to reciprocate that when we get settled at Westwood.
It was a great afternoon visiting with our friends.  Connor got to see his best friend and his girl.  Audrie got her shopkin ice cream truck back from John's. What more could we ask for?

Valentines

Since the littles had misbehaved last night we had an early bedtime.  That meant that little miss had to finish up her Valentine's Day cards this morning for her kindergarten party.  She informed me that she did not want to give a card to Alisha.  I told her she didn't have to, but I made sure there was enough cards for every one in her class.
After school I asked if she gave one to Alisha and she had.  I was glad of her choice and said that it really would have hurt Alisha's feelings if Audrie would have excluded her.  I think Audrie realized that and that is why she went ahead and gave her a card anyway.
Then I pointed out that Alisha had also given Ninja Turtle cards and that they have that in common.  I still am not sure why Audrie doesn't like Alisha anymore and I hope it is just a passing phase.  Guess time will tell.

Then after school we went to JJ Jump and they played for a couple of hours.  It is the only place where they walk out sweating.  Good for the burn of energy and the building of stamina.  Maybe that is not such a good thing.  ;p
Then we headed over to Uncle Pat's to spend some Betsy time.  Betsy loves the littles as much as they love her.  Then we all went to Applebee's for dinner.  The little man tried mozzarella sticks for the first time.  He ate three.  I think he liked them.  Thanks for the picture Uncle Pat.

Broken Heart

Audrie is usually very resilient.  But every once in awhile she lets some real sadness show.  So we are driving down the road and she pops off about climbing the ladder thing at Papa's house.  She is referring to the end of the bunk beds.  It's not a clear memory for her anymore.  So she asks if Adrianna climbed it with her.  Yes, Audrie.  So she asks did Adrianna like her then.  Yes, Audrie.  And then she is quiet.  Processing.
A couple of weeks have gone by and she very quietly asks how come no one likes her.  Now I know there are lots of people who like her.  When I picked her up from school the other day 15 kids must have told her good-bye.  And not the good-bye like we are glad you are leaving kind.  And I have seen her play with kids at almost every park we have gone to.  She even introduced me to a friend from school at Kiwanis Park this week.
But today she feels friendless.  And it breaks my heart.  So I told her I like her.
And I really need to find her a good friend.  She needs that one friend that makes everything else smaller.  When I was six my friends were my cousins.  But she is right.  She doesn't have a cousin close by who can be her friend.  Her cousins up north like her, but they live just far enough away that she doesn't see them enough.
Maybe when we are moved into our new neighborhood we will find a friend or at least some playmates.  And in the meantime I think some extra love is in order.

Name Change

And so it has been done.  The little man now shares the same last name as his sister, his daddy and me.  It was a very easy process.  There was nothing to going up before the judge and stating that it was not for anything illegal or fraudulent.  And then it was done.
I say he always has been one of us, but he will now never have to explain it.  No one will question him having a different last name than his sister.  And the name he had, his mom doesn't even have anymore.  He's never met the grandparent that still has that name.  I think this was a good thing I did today.
This was so important to Papa.  He had wanted it done so badly.  But we both procrastinated.  And we may have been having a standoff to see who was going to do it.  But the little man is the last in Dave's line with his name.  The only one who can pass it on some day in the future.
 I have now completed all the things Dave wanted me to do. I do believe this was the most important thing Dave wanted me to do and somewhere, wherever he is, he is smiling.
I planned on taking the littles out to celebrate, but neither wanted to go. They just wanted to get naked and sit around.  When do they outgrow that stage?

Tuesday

So I returned to work bringing Michael raspberries and blueberries for her birthday.  Seems like a tradition now.  They are some of her favorite fruits. And naturally she wasn't at work today.  She had brought me a present for my birthday when I wasn't there so fair is fair.  I'm going to enjoy the cozy jammies and slippers.
After I picked up the kids we did a couple of errands and then took Michael her berries.  Most of the time when we can't connect it seems like someone else gets her treat.  She was most appreciative. The kids played with Grayson while we visited.  It was nice to have adult conversation and have the kids be some place safe and behaving mostly.
On the way out the littles got to meet PJ's snake.  The snake had heard them and got scared so he was curled up in a hidey hole, but they still got to see some of him.  Who knows maybe next time we go PJ will be there and they can really meet the snake.

Last Day

It was the last day of a nice long string of days off.  We hit Kiwanis Park and played.  I walked the path a couple of times while they worked hard on the tire swing.  The little man climbed the rock but only once.  They just wanted to swing.  The little woman ran into one of her friends from school.  I was sure the little miss was one of the tallest girls in her class.  Well her friend is much taller than she is.  I said something and I got that look.  Well her friend is older than the class.  Ah that explained it.  Anyway the park worked pretty well today in wearing them out and then we had quiet time before bed.

Memorial

It turned out lovely.

Waiting

So we didn't get the duplex.  Now we are waiting to hear on the apartment.  If that falls through it may be time to look outside of BG.  I really want BG though to maintain some semblance of normalcy for the littles.  Too many changes already.  Trying to keep school and daycare the same.  They are a rock in our foundation.  But sometimes you got to do what you got to do.
So this morning I wake up to a note.....Mom wants to go shopping.  For my birthday present and groceries (we just went grocery shopping, but okay) and she wants to do it without kids.  She is even willing to pay for a babysitter.  Lovely.  I haven't lived here long enough to find one in this neighborhood.  Guess she has forgotten that I don't have any babysitters.

Superbowl Sunday

And we spent it at the park at Lake Sacajawea in Longview.  The little miss wanted to go do the spinny thing.  Took her many different days of trying to explain what it was that she wanted.  And then it all clicked.
They played and played.  We walked around a bit and looked at the ducks.  Several times I wondered if they were going to go in the lake.  And just before we left I noticed that the freckles on her nose almost make a circle.  We must have been getting too much sun because her freckles just popped.
I've noticed that we have down time and then we have these times where we cram a lot of activity in.  I think the down time makes me feel like we need the active time to burn that energy that accrued.  Anyway.....back to work this week and less activities.  But the days are starting to get longer which opens up a whole bunch more time for walking, stretching, exploring and burning energy.

Klineline

We spent the afternoon at Klineline.  We walked the paved trail first and met lots of dogs.  Found a bat house.  Climbed on some logs.  Not sure we were suppose to, but we did.  Then we had playground time.  Always a hit.  Then a family went for a walk around a pond and the littles wanted to do that also.  So we walked around.  The both got in some muck which probably ruined her boots.  He felt ucky and didn't want anyone to see his mudded pants.   It was another day where we stretched our muscles and tried new things. We all got to work on balance.  I saw both kids being brave and admitting that some of what we did was a little scary.  It was a good afternoon that concluded with baths.  

First Friday at the Museum

I had promised for three weeks that we would hit the Children's Museum on First Friday.  We haven't been for quite awhile again and it seemed like time to do it.  The little woman was the one who asked.
They had a new exhibit that had action things.  Rock climbing, snowboarding, pedalling.  They enjoyed that but seemed more interested in the standard fare.  The store, the restaurant, the dig pit, the water room.  There was also a snow globe room.  They liked that and they expended a lot of energy having "snowball" fights.
We played for three hours and they were worn out.  The little man fell asleep  on the way home.

Explanations

The little man and I went with the little woman for breakfast at school.  We were a little short on time but thought we had enough time.  So we are sitting there with her when this boy came up and sat next to us saying hi to her.  Told me he was in her class and how he was getting a late pass because of breakfast.  The little woman did not seem pleased to have him join us.
After a few minutes she makes a comment about the girl.  Wait...what?  I'm confused.  She is not understanding why she dresses like a boy and has a short haircut.  About this time I realize that "he" has nail polish on.  That doesn't mean anything because my little man has had nail polish on.
As we walked the little womn to the other building she tells me that boy was Alisha and she doesn't like it that she has that haircut.
Ok.  First I don't know if Alisha is just trying out a style.  I don't know that she is transgendered.  So I'm at a loss as to how much explanation to give to Audrie.  I didn't think this would come up in kindergarten.  To date I just stated that obviously Alisha likes to wear the clothes she wears and there is nothing wrong with it.  There is nothing wrong with her haircut.  We change our styles all the time.  Maybe I need to broach the teacher so I can make sure my explanation matches what is happening.

Shopping

So Mom wanted to go to the store.  She needed some things that I hadn't gotten.  She gets a tad annoyed sometimes when I do the shopping.  Sometimes it is just easier.  So after school we picked up the little miss and went to Winco.  We didn't pay enough attention.  When I was bagging up her stuff she had gotten a lot of stuff she didn't need to get....like antibiotic cream.  It must be a small obsession for her because she keeps buying it.  When I'm on top of it I catch these things before we get all checked out, but we forgot to take the ipad in for kid distraction.
Amazingly enough it was the shortest grocery shopping trip we have made in months and months.  Usually to take her to the store has been slowly increasing in time. We are normally well over three hours now.  It only took us two today from the time we got to the store.  Yay!
Shopping must have worn her out because after we got home she decided she was sick and went to bed.

Going Fast

I have the week off.  And it is going by fast.  And yet it feels like we haven't done much.  We hit another park today for an hour.  There were other kids and that was good.  Turns out it was good for the other kids also.  One mom commented about there never being kids there when they are there.
While they played I made circles around the playground.  Trying to get my step numbers back up.  I'm not as obsessed as I was at first, but I'm still working on it.  I know it is good for me in all sorts of ways.

Taxes

Whew.  One out of four done.  And this one was the easiest it has ever been.  Turbo Tax had all my info saved somewhere.....sometimes in the past it didn't save it.  So I didn't need to put in all the addresses.  Pleasantly surprised when I got to the end.  The only disappointment was I didn't get offered the Amazon gift card this year.  I loved that and used it for Christmas the last couple of years.  Now I just need to remember to set aside my Christmas money myself.
I have the second return started.  And I should now be able to get the other two done.  Hopefully timely.

Moving

So this really isn't working.  I can't be everything to all people.  And while they all have needs I still maintain that my priority is the littles.  If we stay, it is a matter of time before Mom hurts one of them. I can ignore the snide comments at me....and I know it is the disease talking.  But the littles do not totally understand when she calls them names and yells all the time.  I thought I yelled a lot.  Part of the time the littles think it is all a game.  I think they know she is their age and that is why it is fun.  I don't know.
Our way of coping has been to remove ourselves from the living area.  Audrie gets in trouble whenever she tries to play in the living room.  And it is the only place big enough for her to spread her stuff out.  Couches are not for toys to be on.  Wait...what?  And on and on and on.  We are holed up in a ten by ten room.  This is not home.
So I went on craigslist to see what is available now.  I went in search of apartments at the complex I was looking at in Dec.  There is an apartment available.  And on craigslist there is a duplex available by Kiwanis Park.  Rent is the same.  I would probably have to pay water and garbage at the duplex.  But it is one level and next to the park.  I would only have one neighbor.....much more privacy than in an apartment.  After all I have been down that road and know what that is like.  And I would do it, but I have this other option.
So tonight the little and I go look at the duplex.  According to the ad it is available this weekend.  The apartment wouldn't be available for another two weeks.  And once I make up my mind sooner is better. And I have this week off to prepare.