Closeness

I am very close to my mom. We used to talk on the phone every day. Then her dementia hit and it changed things a bit. We are still close and we still talk a lot, but it is changed from what it was. I think because she is changing. It has been a great relationship. And I have always appreciated it. She cultivated it so as not to have a relationship with me like she had with her mother.
So I had a son. And while I have a great relationship with him he isn't going to call me every day just to chat. We won't have the same thing I have with my mom. And I knew that from the time he was born. And that is all right. He is my son.
There have been times when I have thought that maybe I could have it with Tanya. But that is not to be. And that's all right. She is my husband's child and her mother's daughter. And so I move on to Elizabeth. Maybe. She is 12 years-old and a lot can happen before she becomes a grown-up. Right now we are close and I like it. I hope we can maintain it. It is going to depend on her and those life forces conspiring against it.
What I love about Elizabeth at this age is her artisticness, her willingness to try new things, her love for her sister, her empathy and compassion, her honesty, her morality, and her sense of humor. I hope good things for her. That she continues to not need to learn every life lesson the hard way. I hope she can have a great relationship with her mom. I knew when she was little that we would have a special relationship.
I'm raising Audrie and we will have a very special relationship. But I am realistic enough to know that by the time she is a grown-up I will be much older and maybe not in the know so much. We will be close, but it will be different.
Maybe I need to do some more sowing of seeds.