Amazing

I find it amazing how great love of grandchildren can bring people who had great animosity towards each other together. Joyce, Dave's ex-wife, and I had a very frank open conversation about grandchildren, present day drama, and past issues. We have very different memories. Both of us agreed that we have grown up a lot since those days almost 30 years ago. We may have discovered some things about each other also. That animosity that seems to just be in blended families gets in the way of clear sight.

As I have aged I have realized that we all do the best that we can do. No parent is perfect. Everyone parents differently. Hindsight makes me wish we could have had a better understanding of that all those years ago and maybe we wouldn't have had the drama that we had. And we wouldn't have been able to be played the way that we were. Animosity makes a great place for a child to manipulate.

I'm pretty sure that one of her children is not going to be happy in the present day that we have now put all those differences aside. But this was never about her. It started out as love and concern for grandchildren and ended in a place of understanding and we won't ever be played again.

I can honestly say I NEVER thought I would ever see the day when I would spend that many hours talking with Joyce and actually talking. No guard. Just truth. Just patience. We have different roles in our grandchildren's lives and that is great. We see a lot of the same things. Turns out we always have. Amazing.