Cut and Dried, Black and White

My friend Michael took in her nephew at least on a temporary basis, hoping to get her sister to straighten up and get on with parenting.  My whole take is do it or don't do it.  If you do it, plan on it for the long haul.  Because that is what it most likely will be.  And 2 year-olds are a lot of work.  I make no statements on whether her sister will or won't ever get it together.  Not my concern.
I heard part of a conversation where advice was given to Michael about the future and was rather shocked.  Every one is entitled to their opinion, but wow, some people should think before speaking.  The advice given to her was her nephew needs to be given up for adoption because his mom didn't get it together in three weeks.  It was opined that her sister no longer deserves to ever be in his life or have him in hers.  Wait...what???  WTF.  An addict she will always be, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't love her son. She may not be able to properly care for him, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't want good things for him. And he loves her.
I sat there, listening, being quiet. It changed my perspective.  I came home that day and gave my littles a great big hug.  They have me as their primary caregiver and parent.  They have a mommy and a daddy who they love and who love them.  Neither one can parent.  I took it on and it is for the long haul.  And I certainly would never ever ever make it so the littles can't continue to have some kind of relationship with their mommy and daddy.  It is important for them to have it even if it is dysfunctional.  And yes I live with the consequences of acting out while they process stuff.  And I live with the consequences of all the choices made. We are family. And it is not cut and dried, nor is it black and white. And when people in my world make their cut and dried, black and white statements they are talking about my family and don't know what they really are talking about. Walk in our shoes and then tell me how addicts don't deserve anything because they are addicts. Lucky them who don't walk this path and can make heartless statements about us who are walking it.