Slow Week/Busy Week

We spent the afternoon at Pat's just hanging out.  The little man wanted to play his game since he didn't get to at all the day before. 
Mike had a date.  Becca shared with me the little woman's opinion from the week before.  The little woman is worried that this will cause Daddy to leave and not return and he just returned.  She thinks he should spend more time with them.  Becca just told her that everyone wants love and the little woman did agree.  I'm not sure if that eased her mind or not.  Maybe I should share what was share with me. 
This next week is kind of slow and kind of busy.  There are only three therapy appointments.  That is light.  I like it.  I only have one activity on my schedule and that is the parks and recs one.  Then of course Thursday is the fourth.  So we need to get some fireworks.
We need to gather up our camping supplies as we are heading to the island.  I still love the island.  The littles get so worn out.  Thanks goodness all the therapy appointments are early in the week. ;p
My friend Brenda and I are going to go see a movie.  Going to use those discounted Cinetopia tickets I bought so long ago.  I had heard I only had six months from the time AMC bought the Cinetopia theaters. We are both looking forward to MIB. 
The condo I was going to go look at got an offer just before I was to see it.  And since I said something to "my" realtor we couldn't see it.  Something to do with once that offer was made they were not entertaining any other offers until after three days.  Whatever. Going to try and see two other ones this week. 

Fishing

So Pat and the little man were up and out and at the coast in time to catch the charter.  About two hours in and Pat texted that the little man had caught his very first fish.  Unfortunately it was a native and had to be released.  But he still caught his first fish.   Pat said every one on the boat went home with two fish.  One grandson caught like eight fish today. 
We took one of the fish home.  I have never filleted a fish before. I had no idea how to do it.  So I went on YouTube and found a video.  Mostly followed that guys directions.  The first half looks much better than the second half.  It was easier to work with the whole fish.  Anyway after it was filleted I remembered how to season it to BBQ. 
And it was tasty.  We enjoyed it greatly.  And now we have propane so we can BBQ all summer long. 

Another Quiet Day

The little woman decided she did not want to go to the library activity today.  She wanted animals.  Today was Train Like an Astronaut day.  So no one got to go.  Instead the little man packed his backpack for his charter fishing trip tomorrow. 
When it was about time to go collect Daddy I dropped the little man at Pat's house.  They will get up very early to head to the coast.  Then we picked up Daddy and came home.  Just a quiet day. 

All Day

So after my appointment with the parent peer I am on my mission to get further along in our plans to move.  I really have to quit procrastinating.  And so I spent all day looking online at what is out there.  I called and talked to some people. 
At this point Mike is still staying with  us.  Well no apartment complex will take people with recent felonies on their record.  No mobile home parks take people with recent felonies on their record.  VHA takes felons, but disqualify anyone with a drug conviction. 
Oy.
So I'm back to condos.  Most condos are still out of my comfortable price range.  I did find a couple that look like diamonds in the rough.  So Saturday the little woman and I are going to go tour one at least. 
It really is time to get the show on the road.  I'm ready to have my own little space.  Mine. 

Parks and Rec

Today we hit Kiwanis Park for the first day of the Parks and Rec series going on this summer.  It is eight weeks of activities for the kids.  And it is free. 
Today was arts and crafts with animals.  When we got there the little woman did not want to participate and she stayed in the car.  The little man and I went and found the activity and he spent a good half an hour just coloring his animals.  And he did a wonderful job.
Then the little woman showed up when kids from the neighborhood arrived.  She played on the playground, in the fountain and made a hobby horse.  She actually stayed longer than we did and got a ride home from the neighbors. 
Dan came to check it out.  Loved it.  He was also very happy at how well things are going for us.  He forewarned me to not stop therapy in a lurch.  Never all at once.  Back off slowly when I think it is time.  And he wasn't saying it was anywhere near time.  Just giving me a heads up as to what other people have done and it tends to backfire. We are going to try only seeing him every other week now though.  The little woman is doing so well and is able to voice her feelings and her needs.  And the little man showed today that he can honor those requests. 
Now the kids are watching a family movie with Daddy after having just finished dinner.  They love spending time with him. 

Reptiles Oh My

And now she doesn't only like snakes....she likes alligators, turtles and lizards.  We attended the Reptile Show at the Woodland Library.  There was already a good crowd when we arrived, but they managed to work their way right up near the front.  By the end of the show they were both in the front row.  They were disappointed they never got picked to be volunteers, but they did get to pet the boa at the end and that thrilled them. 
I thought the show was exactly right.  Just the right length of time.  Just the right number of animals.  Just the right amount of information and laughter.  Both of the littles were completely enthralled and focused the whole hour.  No misbehaving or annoying each other at all. 
It was a great outing and I so appreciate my friend Kelly for telling me to check out the library page for all the activities this summer. 

Chat With the Therapist

Obviously we are still in the honeymoon period.  The littles don't necessarily behave all the time, but we aren't having any meltdowns whatsoever.  The therapist asked what I though had changed.  Man's voice.  They want to please their parent.  I don't know.  He included breaking the system in the household.  We are hardwired to love our parents and want their approval.  In this case...they can get that.  They haven't been adopted never to see their birth parents again.  They were not abused beyond the initial drug use invitro.  They weren't neglected.
Each day is a blessing.  And here is hoping that Daddy keeps up the good work and stays clean.  That we all learn our new normal and that all that anger dissipates and the little man doesn't feel the need to be so aggressive.  This is my family for all the trials and tribulations.  I'll take the honeymoom period for all the time it lasts and then we work on the rest.

Little Man's

He hasn't lived as much life as his sister yet.  So his montage is shorter.  But he has some great memories of the experiences he has had.  He still claims Disneyland is the best place and then he links Hawaii right up there.  I think that is so funny since he hasn't been to Hawaii yet.
So he has had three plane trips with his states being California, Minnesota, Illinois and Indiana.  He has played in the Pacific Ocean, the San Francisco Bay and on the paddle board on a river.  He has met lots of Midwest relatives, seen the big trees in the Redwood Forest and stayed in many yurts.  He is a great adventurer and I have no doubt his life will be filled with so many trips and experiences. 

Little Woman's Blessings

It's just a drop in the bucket.  A few of the highlights.  Five airplane trips.  She's been to Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana, Georgia, and California. She has experienced Disneyland and the Redwood forest.  She has been to zoos and playgrounds and splash pads.  She has met and played with cousins in MN.  She became a big sister. She has played in the bay at San Fransisco and on a paddle board in a river in IL.  She has met dogs every where she goes.  My awesome, awesome girl who has had many great experiences in her  life already.  I hope the experiences instill a passion for more experiences for her.  Life is about our memories and we are making them all the time.

Fun Times

Memories.  My life feels like it is made up of many tiny lives.  Ends and beginnings.  I've been blessed with a lot of experiences.  Many trips.  Many outings.  Many blessings.  It is really hard to say which memory may be the best. 
Just thinking about the last tiny part of my life....there are so many exciting things that happened.  But the best things were the motorcycle ride around Illinois, taking the littles to Disneyland, and the most fun I've ever had at Belinda's Wedding.   Still waiting for the experience that tops the entire reception doing the conga line. 
It feels like perhaps another little tiny piece of life is ending and new one beginning.  But all that came before are great memories and blessings.  I am always thankful to the friends and Leo that paved the way for these memories. 

Settling

Feels like we are settling into a new routine.  Good, bad...remains to be seen yet.  But for now the littles are enjoying their parent time.  Even when he gives them time-outs or takes electronics.  Funny how one more person makes a routine a little better.  We have dinner about the same time every night.  We are going to bed about the same time every night.  All these things the therapist has said we need for stability. 
And so tonight we had Italian pork chops.  Mike wanted them and I had to look them up.  I haven't made them in so long.  Both kids liked them.  Now I got to say....I am amazed that the little woman did.  She tried it, she liked it, she ate half a pork chop.  So we have found one more thing she likes....at least for today.
Mike has implemented actual bedtimes for the littles.  One gets to stay up a bit later since she is a bit older.  I expected an argument out of that, but it did not come.  Well then.....
On to routine. 

Day Two

Mike has completed his second day at work.  Makes him tired.  I have now cooked two nights in a row.  Meatballs and gravy over rice.  We are on a roll.  Nice to cook for someone who appreciates it.  It almost sounds like I don't feed the family, but I do.  But the last couple of years has easily slipped into making quick easy kid food.  It's whatever gets nutrition in their little bodies. 
Poor little woman.  Daddy is making her try something new every night.  So far no luck in finding something new she likes. But she is trying stuff. 

A Little B-ball

After dinner we all went to the park.  The little woman found a little bitty girl to play with.  I think she feels like a helper when she entertains younger kids at the park. The little man played and played and then decided it was time for some basketball with Daddy. 
He took the playing very seriously.  He was listening to Daddy when Daddy was telling him rules of the game and advice.  There were lots and lots of smiles.  They played a one on one game and the little man was quite excited when he won. Little pieces of my heart meld back together when I see true joy in the faces of the littles.  They need that play time with an actual parent.  And Daddy needs it too, to keep working on that relationship with his children. 

Hand Me Downs

It's been quite awhile since we have been gifted a bag of hand me downs. Used to get them quite frequently when the little woman was small.  As the kids grew the frequency became less and less.  So we watch for lots of clothes on facebook sale pages and we shop Walmart.  Keeping the clothing dollar low. 
Now, me personally, I haven't gotten a bag of clothes since 1989 when Lucy gave me a bag of clothes that were her daughters.  So imagine my surprise when I went to my friend Michael's house to pick up the red microwave that wasn't.  She had this pile of tank tops on a chair that she was going to bag up and give to the goodwill.  She asked if I wanted them instead and that saved her an errand.  Yes, yes I did want them.
When the weather turned nicer I broke open that bag.  There weren't just tank tops.  There were many nice shirts and jackets.  Whoohoo.  Score.  I have been wearing the shirts like crazy and feel good.  Colors, prints, fabrics different than what I ever buy for myself.  I pretty much only buy t-shirts and tanks that feel like t-shirts.
Seriously love hand me downs. 

Bits and Bobs on Father's Day

We spent the afternoon at Pat's house.  Pat bbqed up some burgers.  Had super fresh corn on the cob and it was so delicious.  Topped off with some cantaloupe and devilled eggs.  Yummy dinner.  We brought Mom over and she was having a very quiet day. 
Mike finished splitting the wood for Pat.  I know he got paid.  I found it interesting and taking it all with a grain of salt.  The roommate had told us that she paid her son $150 for the part he split and that Pat paid her boyfriend $150 for the part he split.  Mike didn't get anywhere near that.  But he was happy with what he got, so all is good. 
We are on day 11 of no rages.  Sure helps with Daddy here.  Wondering how it is going to change when Daddy finds a job and goes to work.  I know for Daddy, he will get a break.  He is discovering how hard it is to step into parenting after all this time without being around kids. 
Still scouring the ads for a new place to live.  Never made it to Woodland to see the mobile in my price range and naturally it sold right away.  I think that is the way it is going to be.  Sure wish the BG mobile estates had not gone to 55+ community.  What is interesting is mobiles in 55+ communities are generally cheaper than other communities.  Except in BG.  Probably why they have six or seven that have been for sale for awhile. 

Harvey's

Last planned activity.  Jodi and I drove over to Delta Park and parked. Rode Max downtown.  She wanted to see if we could find that Mexican place we went to last time.  Last time being four years ago. 
We found it right away.  I think I have a better sense of where I have been before.  We got off Max and it was one block up.  She again had a burrito and I opted for an enchilada this time.  They don't do red enchilada sauce, but green.  Green is a little more spicy.  It was nice and the ambiance was the same as four years ago.  We people watched.
Then we moved on down to Harvey's Comedy Club.  We loved the host, the first act and the headliner.  The middle act was such a beginner.  Needs a bit more practice.  After the show we were in the restroom and one lady told her friend how it was the funniest show she had ever attended at Harvey's.  I was thinking it was fine, but not the funniest I had ever attended. 
I don't know how Groupon tickets always seem to get us right up front, but they do.  Maybe it is the fact that it is a reservation for two and that is where the tables for two are located.  Or it has to do with me making reservations a week in advance.  Whatever the reason, we like it. 
Hopped Max back to the car and it was a nice evening.  Sans kids.

Errands

We spent all day running errands.  Mostly for Mike.  He has a job interview on Monday and needs his SS card.  And naturally it is an issue.  He can't get a new card without a valid state ID.  He has a new one, but the hard copy won't come in the mail for two to three weeks and the paper copy doesn't have a picture anymore.  We spent a lot of time trying to figure that out.  Turned out DSHS had a copy of it and that will work, so we had to go  up there.  Two trips to the mall and fixoid.  Just running. 
We did get me some new glasses.  Got some groceries.  Spent way too much time in the car with kids. It was a relief to get home and just stay here. 

Lunch With Brenda

And it was oh so nice for both of us.  We both got out of the house by ourselves.  Brenda spends a lot of her time taking care of her mom.  Her mom acts like she has dementia but with a very progressive type.  I don't think they have figured it out yet, but in the meantime.....
The littles spend the day with Daddy.  They went on an adventure.  Daddy had an appt. at workfirst and they went along.  Rode several buses and loved it. 
Brenda and I went to Olive Garden.  Talked about work, home, Meghan and family.  Made me realize how much I really miss her.  When your circle is small and you can't even see them......
Anyway I so enjoyed my lunch out.  This week is almost over and I have nothing else planned beyond Saturday for alone time.  So far, so good.  Mike is just hanging with us and doing the things he needs to do.  So I may be able to make another plan or two. 

Agreed

The home specialist from Children's Center came out today.  We talked about the incident from yesterday.  He totally agreed with me that we need to update our safety plan.  He also thinks that as long as Mike is here he needs to be incorporated in it.  And that makes sense. 
So that will be part of our next appointment with the therapist.  Hopefully Mike will be around to either attend or play with the little man as a distraction.  We need to bring Mike in the loop. 

Reminder: Breathe

Oy. It's not a bad day. It was a bad moment and not even that bad compared to a lot of other moments in our lives. I told the 9 yr old that the 7 yr old could have the phone to play with for the 15 minutes we had to wait for the home specialist to come out. She had had it all morning playing her games. She said no and ran to the neighbors door. He follows, I follow. She gives him the phone and then kicks him in the stomach and pounds on neighbor's door. He grabs her hair. and pulled some out. About 15 pieces maybe. There is no bald patch on her head. I told him to go home and he did (amazingly).

Later the neighbor comes over because she found the hair and it looks like a lot more when you coil it up. Told me how she is afraid for the 9 yr old's safety and How I am the boss and what am I going to do. Is that a backhanded insult to the parenting? I think so. Anyway I explained that our safety plan didn't work today. We started outside is probably why. And we need to re-evaluate it. So she left saying well it is all right for now. I no longer want her house as part of my safety plan. She is one of my neighbors who already think the 9 yr old should go to foster care.

It's not okay that he pulled her hair. It is also not okay that she kicked him. The home specialist spent most of his time talking with the 7 yr old about it and what he could do differently next time. For today it is the best we can do. Reminding myself to breathe. If you aren't living it, you don't understand.

A Little Louder

Mike went off to do his errands.  That meant the honeymoon didn't have to be.  So the house was a little louder, a little messier.  The therapist did come and hung out with the little man for a couple of hours.
I got some weeding done.  Don't feel like doing that much, but it was a nice morning and I wanted to be outside.
It was one of those bad news kind of days.  We found out that the lady next door died.  She was just 40 years-old with two kids in school.  They had a worse day than us.  Then later I found out that a gal I used to work with was attacked by her husband with a machete.  She lived, but has a lot of healing to do.  She has a boy about the same age as the little man and a six month old.  I can't even fathom.  They have a worse day than we do.
Sometimes life gets put into perspective for you.  So today even with the loudness and the little man taking advantage of Daddy not being here....we are still blessed.

Quiet

The little man has been doing so well since Thursday.  All quiet on the rage front.  He is driving his daddy nuts though.  He is attached at his daddy's hip.  Daddy has spent the last 30 months around no children so it is an adjustment.
Today we all went to Pat's to pick up the little woman.  Mike must have asked about work because the next thing I know he was putting bike parts away and then spent a couple of hours splitting wood.  He made quite the dent in the pile that was left. The plan is for him to finish next weekend. The little man got in on the action also.  I think next weekend they are doing some stacking. 
And the weekend ends.  We have a not so busy week ahead of us.  There are only four therapy appointments this week.  That is so light.  Mike has a bunch of stuff to take care of.  Settling in and we are getting used to having him here.

Concert

And the day has arrived.  The little woman really did not want to go to the concert so she went to Pat's house.  The little man stayed with Daddy for some father/son time.  Jodi came with me to the concert.
We got there really early and they let us park in the VIP parking lot.  How cool is that. Right by the gate.  We had a snack while waiting.  Vegetable rolls and a Caribbean Bowl.  Then we found a nice spot to sit on the grass.
I was trying to figure out why Train was the main band and Goo Goo Dolls were an opening act.  I would have though the Dolls were a bigger band.  And they may have been at one time.  Train hit it right out of the park though.  Just a little more, a little better, a little something.  Neither band disappointed and were well worth the price of the tickets. 
We were entertained by the people around us dancing.  The man in the bottom picture would win a limbo contest.  He came back to standing from that position a couple of different times.  He was amazing and very uninhibited.  I'm pretty sure he is going to feel all of that tomorrow.  But he had a great time and so did we watching him.  About that time I was kind of glad that I was on an adult outing and didn't have to explain anything to a 9 year-old. 
We beat the crowd out and were home by 11.  We are old so that made us happy.  :)