Oy. It's not a bad day. It was a bad moment and not even that bad compared to a lot of other moments in our lives. I told the 9 yr old that the 7 yr old could have the phone to play with for the 15 minutes we had to wait for the home specialist to come out. She had had it all morning playing her games. She said no and ran to the neighbors door. He follows, I follow. She gives him the phone and then kicks him in the stomach and pounds on neighbor's door. He grabs her hair. and pulled some out. About 15 pieces maybe. There is no bald patch on her head. I told him to go home and he did (amazingly).
Later the neighbor comes over because she found the hair and it looks like a lot more when you coil it up. Told me how she is afraid for the 9 yr old's safety and How I am the boss and what am I going to do. Is that a backhanded insult to the parenting? I think so. Anyway I explained that our safety plan didn't work today. We started outside is probably why. And we need to re-evaluate it. So she left saying well it is all right for now. I no longer want her house as part of my safety plan. She is one of my neighbors who already think the 9 yr old should go to foster care.
It's not okay that he pulled her hair. It is also not okay that she kicked him. The home specialist spent most of his time talking with the 7 yr old about it and what he could do differently next time. For today it is the best we can do. Reminding myself to breathe. If you aren't living it, you don't understand.
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