A Book

I had a couple glasses of wine. And then I had another one. Liquid courage. I have all these things I wanted to say to George. So I did. I wrote a book. Basically it felt like good-bye. I can't make him do what I want him to do. So I said what I needed to say. The next day I went back and counted how many times I said I love you....only four. Felt like eight. I didn't feel like I said anything offensive or inappropriate. Just getting things off my mind.
This thing happens every time I make a move away, kind of like how he moves away if I get too close. So after I said my say he answered me back.  He gave me a great nugget of truth and emotion about his life and how it would have played had I stayed with him all those years ago. Then he proceeded to tell me that he still loves me, although not in love. Guess that was in response to my telling him so many times I loved him. Wonder how he felt when he realized he still cares about me? Or did he always know and that is what scared him? No telling.
So is it good-bye? Or more waiting? Kind of a dumb question. Maybe both. Anyway I told him he never ceases to amaze me and I was speechless and then I thanked him.