I have found that I miss him at the most unusual times. When I get off work and I don't have a text from him. Or when I wake up and same thing. He liked to text me in the middle of the night and while I was at work. I miss him when I go to text him to tell him something cute the littles did or said or what we are doing. I miss him when I realize that my car is a mess and needs to be cleaned out. I did that in his driveway and used his shopvac. Hence a shopvac is on my Christmas list. I miss him when I realize that something I want or need is at his house....like my stockpot.
I dream about him a lot. Nothing bad. He's just in my dreams. Guess that is fitting since Connor doesn't want to dream about him right now.
I miss him most when it is a really big emotion. Like when I realized that Connor probably won't remember Papa Dad.
I was actually surprised to have some big emotions. Mostly I don't. I don't cry and still haven't. But I was close a few times. And I thought I should let that out. It would be good for me and it would be good for the littles to see it. I miss him then because there are things he still had to teach them that I can not.
No comments:
Post a Comment