After we planted the tree I felt it all change. I no longer feel anger towards Dave. I have forgiven him for leaving me and making choices that killed him. We can't go back and change any of it. We can only move forward. I knew this change was coming and that he wanted me to move on ...so to speak. My dreams changed and then changed again. It's like I can breathe again.
I still have a lot to deal with with the littles. They so obviously really don't understand. I have no idea how long it will take till they truly do understand. For now we take it one day at a time and just handle it as it comes. We talk about Papa all the time. I want them to remember him and how much he loved them. And some day when they are much older we will talk about all the rest of it.
But for now.....I am mending and I feel better.
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