Closing 2018

And this year finally ends.  Thank goodness.  I think it has been my hardest year ever.  I thought 2014 was bad.  Nah.  It was bad, but not so much compared to this year.  And yet I am counting my blessings.
We had a wonderful trip to Disneyland.  It was the best long weekend.  The kids will remember it forever and they already want to go back.   I told them they would have to do that when they can take themselves.  I have other things on my list that I want to do.
The fair was amazing.  The little man could ride rides this year.  Not just the little kid rides.  Next year he should be able to ride almost all the rides.
We are housed, clothed, fed and loved.  And we take one day at a time.'
The downside of this year is Mom's dementia progressing.  The little man's impulse control issues coming to light along with anxiety and 24/7 flight or flight.  The little woman's anxiety definitely got worse and we could now put a name on what was going on.  Her therapist said that she was also exposed to illegal substances, hence her anxiety and her highly sensitive issues.  Just not to the extent that the little man was.
All of this leaves me dealing with phone calls I don't want to take, talking to people I would rather not, listening to so many people tell me things that are so wrong and yet they believe it.  I have learned that while anxiety is a real issue....no one believes it who hasn't had to live it.  Even trained people seem oblivious.  I have watched more trauma be inflicted on the littles by well meaning people and people in authority and it makes me cringe.  What do you think it does a six year-old to have a cop tell him if you don't behave you can't live here anymore?  The behavior that he can't control yet and we are working on it.  What do you think it does to a six year-old to hear cops tell your nana to give you up for adoption if you can't be controlled.  It doesn't matter who he lives with.....it is an impulse control issue.  Or hey how about the convicted felon down the street who threatens a six year-old or the neighbors who keep coming by and telling him to be nice to his sister.
And how wonderful for an 8 year-old to hear that she can get rid of her biggest fear by pushing this and playing the neighbor down the street who calls police and makes CPS complaints.  That one is a double edged sword though....because that neighbor not only rewards her anxiety, she causes more.  She now has the little woman worrying about the dog when the dog doesn't need rescuing.  When things get loud and angry the dog just goes out the doggy door.  She has always had an escape route.  Shoot....the little woman has used that escape route.  One of the CPS complaints was that I minimize the whole situation.  Trust me, I don't minimize anything.  I live it.  And on and on and on.
Sometimes I need to take a step back and take three or four deep breaths.  I need to remind myself that I am doing what needs to be done.  We are in therapy.  Between us there are four appts a week.  And we are looking at some meds for the little man so that maybe his anxiety and hippo campus can be slowed down long enough for him to start processing all the things we are learning in therapy.  Here is hoping for a better year in 2019.
The blog ends the year with almost 53,000 pageviews since I started this one.  I didn't feel like doing the math to find out just what this years was.  My brain is a little tired. And so this year is done and still writing a daily post.  It is still a great journal and a great place to put some memories and some emotions.

A Little Better

You can tell the little man is starting to feel a little better.  At the beginning of the week he did not mind just lazing around the house.  By today he is going a little stir crazy.  So off to Pat's we went.  He played the game and we had Arby's for dinner.  Just a quiet night at Pat's house. 
The thing I noticed is he isn't breathing through his mouth anymore at night.  He is much quieter.  Sometimes I have to listen harder just to make sure he is breathing. 
It will be nice when he is all healed up.

No On the Zoo

We went and picked up the little man.  I thought we might go to the zoo, but the little woman really didn't want to.  So we stayed home and counted our blessings when the wind picked up.  It would not have been that nice of a day at the zoo. 
Turns out that OMSI also participates in the Arts for All program.  $5 admissions for us.  We didn't do that either, but I got my answer on whether we could utilize the program or not.  So it is on our list of things for the future. 
After a whole afternoon inside we were all going a bit stir crazy.  So I made up some scalloped potatoes and took them to Pat's.  The little man got to play some more games and we watched the fights.  Just family time.  Food time.  Next weekend we do the prime rib.

Quiet Night

The little man went to Uncle Pat's to spend the night and play games.  Girl night at our house and we did not do anything special.  Just stayed in and vegged.  It was so nice. 

Outside, Inside

Fight or flight can take many many forms.  It is part of anxiety.  Let me tell you anxiety encompasses a whole lot of things.  But right now our thing is fight or flight.  Now both kids suffer from it.  One fights and one flies.  The one who fights really causes the other to fly.  And then she flies even when there is no threat.  It is part of anxiety. And part of an enlarged hippo campus that both kids have.
After the little woman started therapy she opted to stay outside most of the time.  I don't know if it was therapy or just something she latched on to and did.  She would get home from school and stay outside until the little man went to bed.  She goes to friends' houses to play.  She sits on the step coming in and plays on my phone, reads, draws pictures, etc.  It is how she feels safe.  I did try to make her come in one day.  Picked her up and carried her in.  And as I did it I realized it was totally wrong.  It was the same as restraining the little man.....only escalates the feelings of fight or flight.  About that time I had an appt. with her therapist and she said to leave her be. If she wants to run, let her.  And I can't make her come inside and stay.  My therapist agreed with that assessment.
Now there have been times that that has wreaked havoc on my life.  Like the day she decided she also could not ride in a car with her little brother. That day was almost a panic attack and she showed it to many people who then wanted to know why she was so afraid.  My answer of anxiety.....does not satisfy a single person.  I guess you have to live it to understand it.  Her being outside seems to be part of a problem for one of my neighbors, who called CPS about it.  It's just one thing after another.  And we are doing the best we can and what we can.
Slowly a change has been occurring.  She is coming in a little earlier.  Even into the bedroom with us if we are watching a movie.  And then today....she stayed inside almost all day.  And when she was outside it was because he was also.  They played.  Now understand the door has to not be latched, but at least it can finally be almost closed.  She can ride in the car as long as her door is not locked.  I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but today was a good day.
And then a little side note....while we were outside watching the little man play with his new RC, the neighbor who has the problem came outside and watched us.  She tried to make it look innocent, but when you are standing there watching instead of carrying that blanket inside with you...you are watching.  No reason to call the cops today.....course there never really is a reason for her to do that, but she does anyway.

End of the Christmas Stories

Early Christmas Eve we were at Pat's house and I noticed that Jayne and Dennis were home.  So I walked over and had a nice catch up.  It has been years and years since we just talked.  I had wanted to share my small world story with them and let them know how impressed I was with their son John.  It was really nice.
Betty came over and brought us a gift card.  We gave her gouda cheese and apples.  She gave us gouda one year many many many years ago, so I knew she would like it.  We dropped a few Lindor chocolates in the bag also since chocolate is our tradition.
Then we also took gouda cheese and apples over to the great-grandparents.  Gayle was happy with that.  I told her it was one of Dave's favorite snacks and she agreed with him.  We spent a few minutes with them and then I took the littles home.  It was close to pill time for the little man.  But they were happy to get to see both kids for a change.  I usually only bring one at a time and we never stay too long.

Merry Christmas

And a merry Christmas it was.  No one went overboard.  The little woman had seven presents under the tree and the little man had six.  Pat and Mom each had five.  The little man was thrilled to get the hoverboard that he negotiated for.  He can make it go, but it still tentative.  And he should be since he just got his tonsils out yesterday.  The little woman said her best gift was the holiday Barbie, but I noticed she spent a lot of time with the bracelet making set.
Each kid got to talk to the parents and I was happy that it came before the gift opening.  That way they didn't get asked about all their presents like the other siblings got.  Part of keeping life simple and manageable is a nice amount of presents that seems just right.
Santa did not come this year as we had planned.  In November the little man asked about the truth of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy.  Back when he was five, one of the neighbor kids told them the truth and I managed to put it off till now.  Since I was already having trouble with the difference in what Santa brings for them and others, I decided to use this time for the true meaning of Santa.  So we talked about how Santa is just fun, and that now that they know the truth, it is time to pay it forward.  We talked about who we could be Santa to.  Who in our small group of friends and friendly neighbors might need a Santa gift.  And we hit on Renee.  She lost her son this year so this holiday was going to be hard.  So the little man found a game she could add to her collection and the little woman gave her a candle.  We wrapped them up and very sneakily took them over to her house last night while she was gone.  I was glad she didn't choose that moment to come home.  And they were great with this. 

Merry Christmas. Making Amends. Karma.

Cheyenne came and babysat the little woman while the little man was having his surgery.  Then her friend showed up with some supplies.  Having a little man with impulse control issues means I have a few holes in the walls.  To be fair, some of those holes were put there by Daddy and that may be where the little man learned it.
I have been in no hurry to fix them because I want no more holes once I fix them.  Today Cheyenne's friend repaired and spackled a bunch of holes and divets.  He said the divets would really show up when new paint was applied.  And as long as he was doing the holes it was no big deal to spread a little spackle in them.  He will come back later in the week to sand and paint. 
And all of this he said Merry Christmas.  Said he was making some amends and trying to gain good karma.  I am so appreciative of the work and the walls look so much better.  And maybe we have earned a little good karma and that is why it worked out this way. 

Tonsil Free

We were up in the dark and headed to the surgical center at Vancouver Clinic.  We were not the first procedure of the day.  Our scheduled time was 6 a.m. We were on time and went right back.  He got his vitals checked and was told he had to wear their gown.  Yeah....that didn't happen.  The procedure was suppose to take about 45 minutes, but they were done quicker than that.
I could watch the screen to see where  he was.  He was in post-op for a long time before they came and got me.  That really made me wonder.  And then finally I went back.  Turns out the little man is exactly like his daddy and came out of anesthesia early and wild.  He pulled his IV out and got blood everywhere.  He was all cleaned up and eating a freeze pop when I went back.
They wheeled him down to the car and told me he would sleep most of the day.  Yeah....that didn't happen.  He did sleep in the car on the drive home and that was it until bedtime.  We kept him on his pain med schedule but he definitely could still feel the sore throat.
We were home by 9 a.m.  I'm just relieved it is done and now moving forward.

Nervous

So the little man admitted he was nervous about tomorrow.  We haven't talked about it, other than it is going to happen. So we had a chat about it not hurting when the procedure is being done.  Just like when he had dental work done.  He will be asleep.  I told him he will have a sore throat for a few days.  I think when we were done he was feeling a bit better about it, but I'm sure he is still nervous. 

Again That is Why

About the time I started this blog I had had an incident where we were recognized because of facebook pictures.  Mostly it is the redhead who is immediately spotted.  Well when that happened I got one of those hair on the back of my neck moments.  And I changed how I did things.  I made sure any pictures I post on facebook are for my friends only.  I try not to use current pictures for the wall or the profile picture as those are public. 
I took a long hard look at blogging and decided that I would still post pictures on the blog. But I don't do straight on face shots and boy some of those are cute.  But they are not for public consumption.  When kids are little their faces change a bit and I didn't worry too much about that.  But my littles are older now, so this is where I am at and why I did it. 
So I had another hair raising on the back of my neck moment.  I was reading Cassie's page and one of her friends commented about her daughter being on the same basketball team with the little man.  Wait....what?  Yeah she recognized the little redhead when the kids walked into the school.  Argh.  I can't ask Cassie to not post pictures on her page just because I get uneasy. 
So obviously I am going to have to just roll with it.  But boy.......

He's Too Smart

The little man popped off with a question about presents.  He wanted to know if I just bought the presents from Daddy and put the tag on it. I debated for about a split second of lying about it.  Then I told him the truth.  He said he figured because Daddy doesn't have any money.  That brain is always working. 

Boats

We ventured down to the waterfront to see the Christmas Ships.  This year we did not go so early so we did not have to wait long.  The waterfront was absolutely packed.  Last time we went there was hardly anybody down there.  The weather must have been different.
The boats came really close to the shore so we got a good look at them.  All the kids seemed to really like it when the boats would blow their horns.
Tonight was the last night for them touring this year.  It was our Christmas outing for the year.  It's been hard to fit things in, but we got this done and enjoyed it.

Therapy

We both had an appt. today with the therapist.  We talked about the school issue.  We talked about how things appear better at home.  Small changes seem to be having an effect.  Time will tell if we can maintain the good new habits.
She suggested I push for an IEP at school for the little man.  John had also said it was a good idea and I would have to start the process.  So maybe it is time.
It's always one more thing.

A Big Black Bag

The therapist called last night.  We planned to meet up today so I could collect my big black bag.  In that bag are Christmas gifts that had been donated to the Children's Center.
So I parked in the boonies and saw her when she arrived.  She parked three cars from me so it was pretty perfect.  I collected the bag and then took it home.
Inside were legos, an RC car, a barbie, games and a few odds and ends.  We are most appreciative.  Course the littles don't realize they are appreciative yet.  Maybe someday.
Now I need to find time to get things wrapped.  Always a fun job at my house.  I'm glad the therapist came through because I really was beginning to wonder.  And I was at a loss if she didn't as I am almost out of time.

Small World

We had our home appt. today.  John came and he was a tall guy.  The little man is obsessed with how tall people are right now.  So he says I look really familiar but he doesn't know me from my job.  He looks a little familiar to me also, but I have been around for a while and have seen a lot of people.
We start with some background and the little man goes into ignore mode.  About fifteen minutes later John asks me about a last name and it all clicks.  I have known his family since I was about 12.  I used to babysit his siblings.  He was the last born, so I knew him but I was on my way to making my own family etc by then.  Too funny.
About this time the little man is warming up and they play a game of Spot It.  And they talk about what is going to occur next time John comes, in the new year.  He had some great insights and reiterated what the therapist had said.  And added to it.
Here is having my fingers crossed and hoping for a positive change.

Together Time

Sometimes I like to say we now get too much together time on weekends.  We do better during the week when we all get a break from each other.  This weekend though was different.  We had all that together time and it went fine.  No fits.  No anger. 
The little woman had play prep today with the girl scouts.  They finished the set and baked cookies and practiced the play.  That took up most of her afternoon.  The little man and I just hung out at Pat's house. 
It was kind of a quiet day and that is all right. 

Family Dinner Something New

Pat had us all over for dinner.  He made a porchetta.  He had seen a video and thought it looked interesting.  It tasted pretty good.  The little man really liked it. 
There was one little mishap.  The porchetta is seasoned and then roasted until done.  After it comes out of the oven hot oil is poured on it to crisp up the outside.  Well Pat was using a pan that wasn't flat on the bottom and could not get the oil hot enough.  He switched pans and then he got the oil too hot.  Had a little fire going on.  Had a lot of smoke going on.  I knew it was going to happen.  He learned a lesson for next time. 
Mom and I had a lovely chat.  She was having a very coherent moment....or she was fooling me.  Either way it was nice to have a chat.  We talked about our favorite alcoholics and about kids and about our lives now. 
The little woman stayed and had a sleep over.  Rebecca was actually home this weekend. 

And the Shoe Drops

Liz is on vacation.  So I manned the warehouse and Brenda came in to help.  It was the last day of buyback and historically we get a lot of rental returns on the last day.  And we did get a lot today.
Half way through the day the school called.  The little man needed to be picked up.  No one could tell me why on the phone.  So I let my boss know I needed to leave to pick him up with a plan.
I arrived at the school and got a nice chat with a room full of people.  The little man had not had a good recess and it escalated.  So I got to take him with me.  Funny how they kept asking if I was going to be all right taking him.  Yes.  Took him to Pat's house and he hung out with Pat while I went back to work and finished my day.  I only lost half an hour which is a lot better than half a day.
When I got back I let my boss know I was back and she told me about some friends of hers.  They had adopted a boy who was around 5 and he had a lot of the same issues that my little man has.  They did a lot of therapy and basically all the things we are doing and he is much better now.  It was a reminder story that things do get better and there is always hope for a good future. 

Two In A Row

Two work days in a row with no interruptions.  We got a lot of rental returns processed and moved back onto the shelves.  Put in a lot of steps running back and forth to the buy back room.  Whew. 
Tomorrow is a long day and should be busy in the afternoon.  Here is hoping the trend continues.

A Plan

I had my appointment with the new therapist today.  We finished working on a crisis plan and a plan to maybe stop some problems before they become problems.  I have some work to do and told her some of it will be hard as it is just habit.  She agreed.
She told me the little man won't be able to see the psychiatrist again until Jan.  So we just work on our stuff until then.  She was going to get in touch with the school to see just what their plan of action is.  Since I don't know.  School is very good at letting me know when there is a problem, just not very good at letting me know the resolution.
One day at a time.

Therapist Appt.

Today was to be my appointment with the therapist.  But the little man could not go to school.  And daycare says no daycare if not allowed at school.  So my appointment turned into our appointment.  He wasn't totally forthcoming for her, but he did cooperate with her.  So that is a positive. 
We started working on a crisis plan.  We set up an appointment for next week for the home guy to come out and start some work at home.  One day at a time. 

One of Those Days

The little woman decided she was not going to school.  And I knew she was going to win.  I also know the long term blow that is.  And so Cheyenne came over and babysat while I went to work.  I have missed enough days the last month that I really need to work. 
So I am at work and going along just fine when Cheyenne calls.  The school called and left a message.  It seems the little man had a bad recess, got mad and ended up hitting an adult.  He needed to be picked up. 
Oy.  So I managed to work half a half day and then I went and picked him up.  We were told he could return on Wed.  Well there went my Tuesday.  Tuesday is the last day off during the week before Christmas.  And now I am not going to be able to finish the shopping.  Guess it is online some more. 
So the story as I gathered it afterwards.....someone interfered with his game during recess.  And when he tried to tell the recess monitor she told him he needed to get in the line.  He has a real code of right and wrong and that was wrong.  And hence his anger came out. 

Dogs

The little man always always asks before meeting dogs.  The little woman mostly asks before meeting dogs.  And even that sometimes plays against her.  She has been bit by a dog that an implicit  yes was granted.  The woman smiled at her when she asked.  She bent down to pet the dog and it bit her on her side.  She has been bit by a dog at the beach that was tied up outside a store...right by the door.  There was no avoiding that one. 
For the most part though they have met hundreds and hundreds of dogs and the experience has been positive.  They see a dog and that is all they want to do.....meet the dog. 
Today we were at Walmart (little man's birthday money was burning a hole in his pocket) and there was a person with a labradoodle.  I noticed the service dog patch before they did.  As soon as I said it was a service dog they immediately stopped heading towards it.  They understand that service dogs are working and they leave them alone. 
Of all the things I have taught them, it is the one thing that stands out.  How they interact or not with dogs they come across in public.  One thing right anyway.  And I will take that as a plus in a time that feels like we don't have a lot of positives. 

Super Saturday

We decorated our tree.  Then we waited for Uncle Pat to wake up.  The littles were having withdrawal.  So we went over there and the little man stayed for the afternoon.  The little woman and I hit the grocery store and took our stuff home.  I tried to get a nap, but was not successful.
Picked up the little man and came home and made "normal" spaghetti.  He had wanted spaghetti earlier in the week, but I only had the spaghetti sauce I use for pizza.  He did not care for it as spaghetti sauce.  Guess we are all picky in our own way. 

Cheap Tree

After work I stopped by the $8 tree stand.  I have no idea if they had any $8 trees.  The man immediately took me to the shorter trees.  My first criteria is it has to fit in my car.  So I'm looking for a four to five foot tree...if the price is right.  So we found a nice short tree with the right amount of thickness.  And he tells me it is five foot and it is $8 a foot.  Well that is beyond my budget.  I'm not spending $40 on a tree that will be tossed out in two weeks.  So he said he would take $30 and I bought it.  He carried it out to my car and it fit fine. 
Got it home and into the tree stand.  Our plan is to decorate this weekend.  Well this is the crookedest tree.  Between the little man and I, we managed to get it mostly upright in the stand.  Not perfect by any means, but not terrible either.  So now we are set for the next step tomorrow morning. 

Routine

Trying to get back to some kind of routine.  Not very successfully.  And then if we do manage, winter break starts in a couple of weeks.  And then Christmas.  Oy. 
Anyway the plan is to get a tree this weekend.  We have not had a tree in a couple of years.  The little man has promised to not open any presents before it is time.  He is also earning stuff back and one of those ways to do so is to not mess with the tree.  We shall see. 
We got our little projector set up.  I was not too sure of the little woman's choice for all white snowflakes.  We shined it on the front of the house, not the garage.  And it does pretty well.  It is amazing how bright it is in the middle of the night.  I thought someone left a light on, but it was just the snowflakes circling around.  I'm going to need to remember to unplug it every night.

Quick Health

The little woman slept in till almost 11 and then she felt fine.  So we spent the day taking it easy.  And I'm sure she is going back to school tomorrow.  I'm glad she didn't have it for all those days like I did. 

Super Tuesday

We had a plan and the littles followed through with it.  So we went and saw "Ralph Breaks the Internet" at the local theater.  Tuesday is Super because all admission is $5.  The littles also had soda and a candy.  We thoroughly enjoyed the movie.  The little man kept laughing.  He got a lot of the jokes. 
The little woman had to be picked up from school today with a fever.  A pill made her feel well enough to go to the movie, but I could tell when it wore off. 
We also met the new level 3 therapist.  Things are going to be a bit different this time.  I have an appointment next week and so does the little man.  We are working on a plan for crisis in the future and she also gave me the crisis line number. 
My homework is working on very specific household rules. 

Lunch Date

I was suppose to take Mom shopping for Christmas.  But it was soooo cold.  And I didn't want to.  I did go see her and then she wanted to go out to lunch.  We hit the local dive by her house and I thought lunch was fine.  But by the end of it, she did not. She did not like their coffee cups.  They were too thick and too heavy.  She squirted ketchup all over her fries and her sandwich which was a french dip.  Then she ate half the sandwich and most of the fries.  I couldn't tell if the complaint was too much food or she didn't get enough food.  She told me she did not want to go back there again.  She will forget before the next time.  The great thing about it is its convenience to her place.  Ah well.
Took her back home to nap.  Took myself back home to nap.  Lots of work days are coming so naps will again be in short supply.

Taking Care

It felt pretty good to spend the whole weekend at home.  Just taking care and taking it easy.  We got two Christmas cards on Saturday.  I was gifted this picture in one of them.  It is from 1969.  That is me, my grandfather and my cousin.  I'm still waiting to hear the story behind the picture because I sure don't remember it. 

Better

So Thanksgiving, then six days of being sick.  Sick enough that not much got done.  I did manage to make the turkey stock.  It was either that or throw it all away.  I did manage to get a couple of dishwashers ran. 
Then I worked a half day and then a full day and the evening of those days were filled with activity. 
There was the birthday party.  Then yesterday Chad and Ky came down, took us to dinner and then took the little man to his first Blazer game.  The little woman and I then hit the grocery store.
So today is the first day at home, feeling better and ready to kick a little butt.  Finished cleaning up pans and misc. odds and ends from Thanksgiving.  The roaster still awaits the dishwasher but it is clean. 
I set out the supplies for the little man to make some cookies.  And that he did until it was time to roll the dough in the cinnamon and suger mixture.  I think he does not like that texture on his hands.  He has such concentration when he cooks.  He did a great job and then I overbaked the snickerdoodles.  They taste all right but they don't have that right texture.  Ah, c'est la vie. 

Imperfect Produce

We signed up for Imperfect Produce to give them a shot.  They will bring us a small box every other week of fruits and vegetables.  The premise is so much food at the farm level is thrown away because it is not perfect for retail. So this company is taking some of that imperfect produce and selling it this way.
We were able to apply for the reduced priced box due to the kids' TANF.  We qualified so our first box was about $9.  There were apples, mandarin oranges, oranges, potatoes, onions, cauliflower, acorn squash and carrots.  This stuff may have been imperfect but it all looked fine to me...like what you would buy at the farmer's market. 
I ate one of the squash and it was mighty tasty.  Trying to do something good. 

Seventh Birthday

While time is flying by, in some ways it seems really slow.  And so the little man's seventh birthday finally got here.  He had wanted a bowling party and I just could not make that work.  And so we landed on Dizzy Castle.  He invited four friends and the party was on.
It was a busy busy day.  Work/school/daycare and then we had to pick up the gifts and the cake.  He picked this beautiful cake from Albertsons.  Good things kids don't really care how the cake tastes because it was not a fresh cake, but it was gorgeous. 
Then we headed to Dizzy Castle to make sure we beat the guests and let me tell you we just made it.  The kids had a blast and wore off a lot of energy.  The little man and one friend closed the place down.  The little woman had mostly played by herself.  Thursday evenings are pretty quiet at the castle so there weren't a lot of other kids.  Personally I find that to be a plus. 
So here is hoping the his seventh year will be a great year for him.  I hope he learns a lot in school and in life.  I hope that he is happy and healthy and continues to be funny.  I love this boy.  He is my very sweet loving boy who rocks my world. 

An Education Into The Brain

First let me get my girl out of the way.  She runs and the therapist says to let her.  For her it is safety.  She usually stays on the street right here.  And that is fine.  Where it becomes challenging is when she goes to a neighbors.  The neighbors think they are doing a good thing, but what they are doing is rewarding her anxiety behavior.  They give her a snack.  They let her play with kids, pets, etc.  They tell her what a bad situation it is. And she has been manipulating that now.  We can see it.  So the therapist did warn her about the girl who cried wolf one too many times.  I don't know if that sunk in or not.  But we will take it one day at a time.

Now the boy is a whole different scenario.  Since he was exposed to a lot of heroin before he was born...that heroin changed his brain.  His brain is smaller than a healthy brain.  It does not have all the groves and niches.  So it it was stretched out it would have a lot less surface space than a healthy brain.  The left side and the right side may not have gotten all the connectors in place.  And his hippo campus is enlarged and rules his world.  The hippo campus is leftover from our caveman days and was for instinct and survival.  Fight or Flight.  So my little man is always in a state of fight or flight.
The plan is to now up therapy.  We will be going two days a week and seeing a home person once a week.  We are going back to the psychiatrist, because we both agreed it may be time for some meds.  And we will work from there at level 3 services and see.
We did take a positive that I had noticed.  Since we started therapy he has not thrown stuff at me.  He has not put any new holes in walls or doors.  He still grabs my hair but I noticed the last time...he was just holding it, not pulling.  He and I talked about it and he does that so I won't leave.  So besides my haircut we are going to work on a new plan there....but not one where he has a choice.

Then she asked about Christmas.  The donors to the Children Center buy tons and tons of gifts for the holiday and anyone who is a client is welcome to partake.  Well my first inclination is no we are okay.  And then I reminded myself to get out of my own way.  Sometimes it is not about me.  So the therapist is going to start shopping the gifts as they come in and find some things for the kids.  Amazingly enough the little man was our hard one.  He has no passion other than nerf guns and we aren't doing that. Part of his brain tells  him to not get attached to anything because he will lose it.  And isn't that sad.
We had some positives.  And it was a good meeting.  And I hope it goes well in our next step.

Day Five

Woke up feeling like I might live.  We got ready to go.  Kids to school.  I had an appointment with the therapist.  Got there and had my appointment and it was very enlightening. I'll talk about that in another post.
I had to park in the boondocks.  And I had to make two trips inside.  By the time I left I was ready for a nap.  Got in the car and as I pulled out of the parking lot, thought I should go pick up some things at the grocery store....but I just want a nap.
So I just went home and figured maybe I would feel better or at least well enough to hit the grocery store later.  Three hours later I woke myself up with a bizarre dream.  Got up for about two minutes and went...nope back on the couch and that is where I stayed the rest of the night.  I did eat some of the little man's scrambled eggs and that actually helped my tummy.  Funny how no food for five days can make your tummy hurt.
I know I am still sick, but I am feeling better than I did.

Day Four

So I managed to make it to work.  Worked for an hour and said that was it.  Went home and planted myself on the couch.  Sleep was very peaceful without children.  I'm definitely ready to be back to normal or what passes for normal anyway.  Guess this bug will pass when it is ready.

Day Three

Okay.  I'm ready for this to be gone.  Today the fever gave me the shivers that lasted a good half an hour.  The kids weren't quite as well behaved today.  Finally we went to Pat's so the little man could have some amusement and I could rest on his couch. 

My Turn

I caught some bug.  I have no clue as to what it is.  Muscle aches, fever, joints are stiffer than normal.  I spent almost the whole day just lazing around on the couch.  The little man took care of me. He stayed right with me except when he was at Tank's house for awhile.
Todd from across the street brought me some ginger ale.  At first I was like why was he bringing us soda....and then I realized what it was.  My tummy had been a little upset also so I drank some of that and that helped.  When I poured a glass I realized I hadn't ate or drank anything all day.

Real Black Friday

The little woman and I hit up Fred Meyers for their half price socks. I did manage to find two sets of socks. This year they put all the socks in one place and everyone was in the socks.  You couldn't move a cart around it them. We also got a projector to beam snowflakes on our house.  We shall see how that looks.
Then we zipped over to Kohl's to do my online pick up.  We decided not to shop at all because they had lines wrapping to the back of the store. 
Got gas, picked up the little man and headed home.  And that is where we stayed.

Thankgiving

Went off without a hitch.  Mom did not remember her house and was perfectly fine.  The littles both ate turkey.  I was amazed.  Pat enjoyed his mini pie. We did a group hug and told what we were thankful for.  Three families, God, and chocolate pie
The little man went with Pat for a sleepover and the little woman and I took Mom home.  Then we ventured to the Black Friday sale at Walmart.  It was pretty packed.  Walmart had a lot of help.  We did not buy any Black Friday items.  Just some milk and snacks and then home we went for a quiet evening. 

Day Before

The littles went to school for their half day.  I picked up (again), vacuumed and did a little more decorating.  Cleaned the kitchen including sweeping and mopping.  Picked up the kids and then they began the mess.  Lucky me, it wasn't up to their normal messiness. 
We took a night time walk after I made our one pumpkin pie and one mini chocolate pie.  I probably said this last year....and maybe not....but as I was making the mini pie I was reminded of my grandma making mini pies.  She always did.  Course hers were fruit pies, but I always liked having my own little pie. 
The bird is thawed and ready to go tomorrow morning.  The bread for stuffing is in the bowl awaiting the butter and onion mixture.  The little woman said she would help tomorrow with the table.  I think it is her favorite part.  And she does a nice job. 
So now to bed and the fun begins in the morning.  I believe the littles are suppose to have a video visit with their little siblings.

Number

The therapist and I were having a little conversation about Thanksgiving Day Dinner.  She wanted to know how many would be at our feast and I said five for sure.  Then I commented on how cooking for five is so much different than cooking for 14 plus that I used to do.  She commented that cooking for one is so much different than cooking for five.  We are having a turkey and she is having a cornish game hen.  Too funny.

She told me what the little woman told her she was eating for Thanksgiving.  She is still insisting she is eating turkey.  We shall see.  She also can't wait for the hot rolls.  The little man will eat a lot more of it.  And then he will eat the soup we make this weekend.  I think the soup is the best part.  

Oy

Ohhhhh it gets worse before it gets better.  The little woman is getting so much more anxious.  She is willing to just stay outside in the cold rather than be in the house on the off chance that he is going to do something.
So I got her in....it is cold outside.  All he did was walk into the kitchen and she goes into a panic attack and trying to get away.  So I grabbed her so she wouldn't go over the fence again.  Drew really dislikes it when she does that.  I also didn't want her out in the street screaming.  Well just like the little man....holding escalates it.  Finally I let her go and let her run.
I know we are never going to be normal.  But I don't want all of this to be us.  And so we keep taking it one day at a time and working with the therapist.  Here is hoping for some changes in the other direction soon.

Grand Day

We had a grand down day.  We did not venture anywhere in the car. The littles played with friends.  I walked around the block to find the little man when it got dark.  Turns out his new green machine got a snapped bolt.  The dad of the kids the little man was playing with fixed it.  Amazing. 
The alarming thing  was when the little woman came home and told me some woman gave her a ride.  Wait...what?  As the sun was going down it was cooling off.  When she ventured off to play on 10th St she wasn't wearing a coat.  So on the way back (all of three blocks) some woman gave her a ride.  It wasn't like stranger danger or anything.   Wait...what? I guess she had forgotten how upset I got at the little man when he got in a car with people he didn't know.  He was like four years-old.  I was completely flabbergasted. 
Anyway the day started well and ended well.  The littles had baths and then one fell asleep on the couch and the other was lights out by bedtime.  Mostly a grand day. 

Grown Up Time

The neighbor followed through with his plan of taking the kids for a couple hours one afternoon.  He and his friend took the littles to Big Al's for some bowling and arcade fun.  The littles had a blast.  I was a little apprehensive when they left because the little man was starting to amp up.  But it worked out fine.  Probably the change in routine and scenery was all it took for better behavior.
I went and picked up Mom and we met Pat at the pizza place.  We had a nice pizza.  We had some grown up time and conversation.  Pat was cluing us in on his plans for his MN trip.  We talked about his working extra the beginning of the week since he has most of the week off for the holiday.  Mom kept talking about visiting the store next door to the pizza place.  I'm not sure what she wanted in particular or just to look.  Maybe that is where I will take her shopping for Xmas. 
I got home about four minutes after the kids and the neighbor.  Good timing that. 

Scheduled

And what a choice I got to make.  The next available slot was Tuesday right after Thanksgiving.  The doc said he would miss a week of school.  So that didn't really feel like an option.  As well as his birthday would be two days later.
The next option was Christmas Eve Day.  That is a great choice also.  So what to do.  I choose Christmas Eve Day.  That way he won't miss any school.  I am home with him for the day of surgery and the next day for sure.  I can probably request a day or two more if needed.
It kind of puts a damper on the holiday.  Or not.  Time will tell whether he bounces right back or takes a few days to really recuperate on the down low.

Surgery

We had the appointment this morning with the ENT specialist.  He was great.  And he said time to take those tonsils out and most likely the adenoids also.  So we will be scheduling that soon.
When we got home we all looked at the little man's tonsils.  The two littles compared theirs.  He came walking out going "they are really big".  Yes, yes they are. 
Happy to be making progress on that front. 

Trauma

I read this on facebook and it resonated.  "Trauma is not always about what happened, but how a person experienced it."  I know this.  Doesn't mean my brain goes that way.  When we were doing the intake appointments for therapy I was struck by how much trauma we have experienced as a family and individually.
Each single incident doesn't seem like much.  And my way of processing is quick and done, most of the time.  So this week I am not thinking about what happened last week, last month, last year.  But that is me.  So I was flabbergasted when I realized that the littles are not like me.  And they do not process like me.
That has not made me very helpful to them.  Not necessarily harmful, but not helpful either.  So that was another crack in he already broken heart.
The other saying that resonates is we do the best we can.  When we know better, we do better.  And so I am grateful for the therapist.  I am grateful for teachers who come from a different place and see different strategies to help.  I am grateful for a safe daycare that has given us a solid foundation.
We are as always taking life one day at a time.  We breathe.  We love.  Hopefully we heal.

Refrigerated Eye Drops

I grew a tolerance to the eye drop I was using.  The pressure was slowly rising in my eye.  So the eye doctor switched me to a different drop.  This one goes in at night and came refrigerated.  The pharmacist told me to keep it refrigerated.  So I have. 
The old drop was a morning drop and I kept it by the coffee maker.  Then every morning when I made coffee I would use the drops.  I don't have a night time routine that includes the refrigerator.  So the little woman took on the job of being my reminder and she is pretty good.
Today was the six week check up to see if the new drops are working.  I'm pleased to say that they are.  My pressure dropped by five points.  And the doctor was very happy.  I commented about the cold drops and he told me I did not need to refrigerate the drops once they were opened. 
I think I will though as it is now part of our nighttime routine and the little woman feels important being the reminder. 

I Already Knew

A few weeks ago my brother asked us what we thought....Rebecca wanted to cook Thanksgiving Dinner.  Mom of course is fine with whoever cooks it.  And I was like yes we can do that.  Pat said he would talk to her again to make sure and then he promptly forgot.
I've been at the grocery store twice since then looking at all the food for Thanksgiving.  And each time I have resisted starting.  There is no point in my buying if I'm not cooking.
So we were down to two weeks till Thanksgiving and I thought perhaps I should check with Pat.  I texted him.  He texted back that he had forgot and that he would find out.  And the reason why I checked two weeks in advance.....because I knew how it was going to go and I needed enough time to gather up the stuff we would need.  Yup.  Rebecca got a new boyfriend and she would be spending Thanksgiving at his house.  Okay then.  Exactly as I expected it to go.
So the littles and I have started the cleaning getting ready for company.  This morning I asked the little man to clean his room.  And he cleaned it spotless.  Even vacuumed it.  He had to show me and I was beyond impressed and proud of him.  It was reminiscent of days gone by when Doug used to keep his room really clean.  Course he was a teenager and the little man is still 6 years-old.
The plan is to finish the living room today.  We did the kitchen yesterday.  Tomorrow I may clean the carpet in the living room.
And then my anxiety level can rise.  Mom hasn't been here since last Thanksgiving.  We always do family dinner out or at Pat's house.  Sometimes being here brings out her anger at her whole situation.  Now she has started to forget Pat's house, so here is hoping she has forgotten this house and it all goes smooth. 

We Beat It

We did some work in the morning so we would be free this afternoon to go bowling.  Everything was going along fine and then it was time to go. 
We get to the bowling alley to see a parking lot full of cars.  Inside was a crowd of people.  There was a tournament going on.  I really wish this stuff would be listed on their website.  It can't be that hard to put a calender on a website.  I had disappointed children. 
We went home and they played with neighbor kids.  I made some calls and looked up some more websites.  Hazel Dell has great Sunday prices, but they have a league Sunday night so open bowl is very limited.  Big Al's didn't give me anything positive to make me want to go there.  Crosley has Sunday prices and open bowl all day and evening.
So when the littles were about done playing we headed out.  Grabbed some food and went to Crosley.  We finally beat the day with being able to bowl.  Only took three tries over two days.  We used the bumpers and that makes things much nicer......I bowled all right. The little man did much better than a couple of weeks ago and the little woman got her toe wet.  It was fun.
We hadn't been bowling since we went to Eben's birthday party when we lived in the apartments.  Now we have been twice this month with a third time planned.  I think I am pushing the little man's party till Dec. 1 though because that is a Saturday. 

Not Our Day

The little man had a small melt down.  Not extraordinary, but enough.  So then we had to wait until he had been behaving for awhile before we could continue on with our day.  Bowling was the plan.  When all the planets were aligned we went to the bowling ally.  We were one car too slow.  The people who pulled in right before us got the last lane of open bowling.  Oy.
So then we went to the post office to mail off some packages.  Carried them all inside only to find that the machine to self send was not working for sending packages.  Now those packages have to wait until Monday.  Guess that is all right as then I will get some Xmas stamps to go on our cards. 
Next we went to Uncle Pat's house and naturally no one was home.  We ran out of ideas at that point and went home.  Then I noticed my new lamp was a bit bent. 
We decided to go watch a movie in bed and that tomorrow will be a new day. 

Bohemian Rhapsody

I did finally get to see the movie.   And it was as good as I expected.  I'm sure there was some poetic license to the story.  Afterall we won't ever know what Freddie Mercury's perspective was.  He was a fabulous artist and a great innovative songwriter.  And he left this world way too young. 
It reminded me of my first concert way back in 1980.  Kim and I went and seen Queen in the Memorial Coliseum.  Our first concert.  It was loud and crazy and wonderful.  I can still almost see the band on stage.  We were pretty far back up in the nose bleeds.  When we came out neither one of us could hear well because of the ringing in our ears (if only we knew the damage that was done that night). 
It was a great concert.  It was a great movie.  I am blessed. 

Appointments

As promised the clinic called in the allotted time frame for an appt. with the specialist for the little man.  We see him next week.  So we are moving right along on that front.
I have two messages on my machine from Mom's place. Seems her primary care physician wants Mom to take a fall prevention class.  I ignored the first message and then got another one.  This time someone actually talked to Mom's doctor.  I'm feeling like this person does not have much of a clue and has not spoken to my mother in awhile.  My mom is beyond learning new things.  She would not remember anything from this class. 
Odds are though that she and I will have to take the class.  I can't be called irresponsible if I do what is asked.  But I have to say it is the most ridiculous waste of our time right now.  Even the receptionist was laughing a bit about it when I tried to return the call earlier.  Maybe I do like I did when they wanted her to take the bone density test after she broke her arm.  I questioned it...because she didn't break her arm. Anyway....

Conferences

It is that time of the year.  I had both of my conferences this afternoon.  Started with the little man and I was apprehensive.  Anymore anytime the phone rings I expect it to be the school telling me what he did wrong that day.  And he does wrong.  He still has a problem maintaining control of his hands and keeping them to himself.
We have dealt with CPS coming, cops coming and all those things entail.  I have had a neighbor suggest he go to the 49th Street Academy.  I had to look that up and it is really hard to discern what it is, but it can't be a good place.  It may be a necessary place, but not a nice place.  And so my nerves are a bit shredded.
I mentioned the academy to his teacher, who knew nothing about it.  She did tell me we were no where near even looking at any other placement for the little man.  She came across as she didn't even think it was ever an option.  She told me about his check in, check out plan with Mr. Jones and that is working so far.....but it is the first week of it.  There is a whole group of people paying attention though.  She explained to me how she tries to head anything off in the classroom and pointed out some things that help.  I am going to utilize some of her strategies.
Then on to the good.  He is where he should be in some subjects and ahead in others.  She is going to give him some harder math and let him know how good that makes him compared to the average student.  Education wise he is going great, just like last year.  And so we just keep moving forward and I felt greatly relieved.

Then I met with the little woman's teacher.  The little woman is doing so much better this year all around.  She is spot on in reading and math and as of right now will not be doing math academy  or have any reading interventions.  It's like it all started clicking for her this summer.  She is still a little hyper, but sometimes she just has to turn her desk around to settle down.  She is a great addition to her class.  I got to read some of her writings.  Funny how she would save homeless people with the money from her money tree.  Guess we still need to talk more about that and sign flyers who only want the money for their addictions.  But that is all right.  She has more empathy and compassion in her little finger than I do in my whole body.  And it is good for her to teach me.
We talked about the little woman seeing the therapist.  Seems there is some right hand left hand going on.  According to her teacher, no one ever told her the little woman was suppose to meet with the therapist.  So hopefully now that will work the way it is suppose to.  Anxiety is a hard thing to deal with and the little woman needs that help the therapist can give her.

So overall the conferences were positive and I walked away with a happy heart.

His Turn

So the little woman and I were not feeling great on Friday.  Mine lasted all weekend while hers was a day.  Today was the little man's turn.  We woke up to him barfing over the side of the bed.  Naturally I was hoping it was a fluke, but it was not.  He headed to the bathroom and informed me that his butt threw up. Great.
I called in to work and took the day off.  We did two quick errands where he didn't need to get out of the car and back to the couch. 
Tomorrow will be a new day and hopefully a better day for the little man.

Tonsils

The little man had his appt. with the pediatrician this morning.  He is healthy and in a growth spurt...as if I didn't know that. Since the beginning of Sept. he has gained another two pounds and grew an inch.   So then I commented on the sleep apnea and the doc took one look inside his mouth.  Said he was giving us a referral to the ENT specialist.  The little man has huge tonsils that have been infected at some point and made them already crypted.  Add that to the sleep apnea and we are most likely looking at removal.
And I am happy.  I am sure there is a correlation between sleep deprivation and behavior.  Not that I expect surgery to cure all that ails him.  But I think good sleep will go a long way towards making things better all around.
So far this is going along smoothly and rather quickly.  Got to like that.  We are suppose to have a call this week to set up an appt. with the ENT specialist.  And here is hoping that if he has to have them removed that the surgery is much easier on him than it was on his dad.

Cake and Ice Cream

We did the family cake and ice cream thing.  The little woman wanted to know if Uncle Pat liked chocolate ice cream.  He said he did, but.....you have to have vanilla ice cream with birthday cake.  So we got vanilla and mint chocolate chip.  The cake was small and must have been just the right size because after Grammy had her third piece it was all gone. 
The little woman got a VR headset.  I'm a little technology challenged and was having quite a time making it work.  Well not the headset, but the app on my phone.  I'm still working on it.  I think I need a different app. 

Leaves Anyone

I decided to take the kids to the park to wear off a little energy and maybe start the day different.  The work crew were there and just finishing up making these big big piles of leaves.  I saw a couple other kids play in a pile and then my two joined.  They are just too tempting and wonderful.  So they played for a good half an hour in the leaves.  Moving leaving, throwing leaves, jumping in leaves and covering each other up in leaves.
I was standing there with another woman when this little girl came up with her dog.  They both looked like they wanted to play but the little girl told us no because we are not suppose to.  Well then.  It's a park.  We did not mess up the piles much.  And there is no rule that says we couldn't.  I'm sure her parents told her no.  They are much more considerate than I am.  My two got this great experience of fun.  And it took a little bit of energy to do all they did. 
After two hours we left the park and the work crew had come back and were vacuuming up the leaves.  They did their part and we did ours.  There is a lot to say for play and we thank them for the pile of leaves they made just for us.  ;p

Spot It

The little man had a great day at school.  The little woman played sick.  I knew when we woke up that someone would be staying home.  I had plans to go see "Bohemian Rhapsody" in the afternoon and I just knew it would be one of those messed up plans. 
Turned out all right because I started feeling like crap and so did she.  So we had a quiet afternoon.  And then the little man came home.  I had decided that he needed some supervision...he had made a lady in a car mad the day before because he wouldn't get out of her way....she called the cops.  So I'm watching them play and shooting hoops turned into chase the ball or something.  The ball went up under another neighbors truck and when he came down the little man and a girl both went for it.  Well he got it, but he did push her out of the way to get it.  Not in anger....just stupid kid stuff.  Well her grandma got mad and called the cops.  I got two afternoons where I got to listen to what the officers tell me.  Makes you feel like an abject failure at first and then you dial it back and go wait......today was just kids playing and someone got a little hurt.  And when the cop left and the two moms of the kids playing sat down on the sidewalk and talked with the little man....that went over a little better with all of us.  I don't know what to do about the grandma.  The cops used to come all the time for the stupid stuff her grandsons did.  I would think she might have learned that it is stupid to call the cops for stupid stuff, but I think she learned a different lesson.  And in the mean time......
After dinner the little woman was playing with the little man and I do not know what transpired, but she did the run away trick.  Almost had her convinced to come back in once.  But no.  Then I got a phone call from Renee who told me the little woman was there.  I left her there for another 15 minutes and then we walked over and got her.  They were in the middle of playing a game called "Spot It".  And it was simple and quick and cool.  When they were done they played another round with the little man and every one was calm.  Renee then calmly asked him not to piss people off in the middle of the road because the woman the day before was a parent of one of her students.  And he agreed.  Once home we ordered that game because it is one we can all play and not cheat at. 

Sleep Apnea

I was reading a blip on one of my groups.  The woman was describing the little man to a T.  Like me she had tried lots of things.  And then she hit on sleep apnea.  Her son is a mouth breather.  So is the little man.  And that is a sign of sleep apnea.  Who knew?  I was always aware of the snoring and the stopping breathing.  She took her son in for a sleep study and he ended up having his tonsils and adenoids removed.  The behavior improved greatly. 
Dave suffered from sleep apnea all his life.  I can remember many many times where I would kick him to make him breath.  An anesthesiologist told me he could die in his sleep from sleep apnea.  Mom would tell the same stories about my dad.  And then my mom was diagnosed and got that wonderful cpap machine.  My brother was diagnosed after one Thanksgiving when he was getting really angry at me for moving him when he wasn't breathing while napping.  Mike had sleep apnea as a child and he had  his tonsils and adenoids removed and it stopped.   I have no idea if it returned as an adult or not.  My little man comes from a long line of sleep deprived people. 
The little man has the biggest tonsils I have ever seen.  I kept waiting for him to choke when he ate when he was little.  Now I am listening and I can hear him stop breathing.  I did a little research and decided the first step is to see his pediatrician. So we have an appt. next week to get that ball rolling. 
I don't expect this to fix everything but if it is contributing I want to do what I can to help. 

Trick or Treat

It wasn't even dark when the little woman finished getting ready and out the door she went.  Well that made the little man completely change his plans.  He did not want to wait and have his makeup put on to be a vampire.  So he was a skeleton and he chased out after her. 
My understanding is she did not let him go with her but he did follow her part of the time.  And part of the time he followed Nathan.  And part of the time he went by himself.  Came back after an hour and a half with a bag full of candy. 
At some point the little woman returned briefly home with Maggie in tow and then she went out with Maggie.  She was gone for over two hours and had a full bag of candy and hurt feet when she got back.  They had a good time.
I was left to man the door with the candy.  They had used our treat bowl for playing store and there was granola bars, panda cookies and mini nilla wafers in it as well as our candy.  I was hugely amused how all the non candy items completely disappeared before half an hour was up.  We were left with half a bowl of chocolate.  Going to have to pass some of that off to Mom. 

Quick

The dog needed her toenails clipped.  Really bad.  She didn't let me know in her usual way.  She happened to be laying on her back and I noticed her back nails.  So today was the first free morning sans kids and the vet was open. 
After the kids got on the bus I rounded up the dog.  We went to the vet and there were only two people waiting and they were checked in.  Someone helped me pretty quickly.  She asked if I wanted to pay first and I'm like ohhhh yeaaahhh.  Paying seems to be the thing that takes the longest at the vet.  I have never been offered that in all the times I have brought her in for nails.  So yes, I paid first. 
The tech came and got her and a few minutes later brought her back.  The dog almost pranced to the car.  Her back feet must have felt so much better and I was happy that we were in and out in like ten minutes. 
I'm sure it will never happen again, but I will take it for today.

Papa's Day

Dave's birthday is today.  He was born 62 years ago.  I would have made a cake, but we are still working on that lovely pumpkin cake that the little woman picked for her birthday.  

We talked about Papa and his age.  It was a day for remembering.  

So I see him every where.  There are a lot of men around here who have the same build, the same color of hair, the same beard.....Now granted he did not have the beard when he died, but he had it for several years before that.  It's always kind of weird to see these guys who look like him and remind me of him so much.  

Light and love Dave.  

Chuck E Cheese

And a grand time was had by all.  They all used up their play cards and it timed out just about right.  They ate pizza and cake.  The little woman opened her gifts and was ecstatic.  She got razor wheels from her brother, lost kitties and a cat hoodie from Daddy, money from Mommy, a fingerling, a jellie thing that is really cool and an assortment of girlie potions.  I gave her LPS and a pomsie.  She gets the rest of my gift when we do the family thing. 
I'm sure she would say the best part was the ticket blaster which is where you get in the tube and the tickets fly all over and you try to catch them.  Hard to catch and hold.  She ended up giving most of her tickets to her brother.  I'm not sure if it was just sharing or if he coerced her. 
She had three guests this year.  Only one didn't come of those invited.  So I call that a huge success.  I got to spend some time with Emily's grandmother.  She babysits Emily a lot so we had a lot to talk about. 
I can remember doing Chuck E Cheese back in the day and swearing to never do it again.  Well they have come a long ways since then.  I love the ease of a party there.  No work, no muss, no cleanup.  It was just lovely. 

Pumpkins

The little man carved his pumpkins today.  He made a plan while I scooped out the seeds for roasting later.  Then we had to go to the store to get new carvers/  The ones I used to have must have gotten tossed as they were probably pretty bent. 
Came back and he carved his two pumpkins.  One of like Hector from Coco and the other is just a mean pumpkin.  We will light them up tonight to see how they look. 
I was amazed at his skill and his initiative to do his work.  The little woman on the other hand did do a drawing but she did  not like how I transferred it to the pumpkin.  At that point she refused to carve.  Her pumpkin will sit on the counter till tomorrow and then if she still won't do it, I will.

Fun

The little woman was invited to a Halloween party at her friend Emily's house.  So after dropping Uncle Pat at the airport and making a quick stop at Scented Acres to grab a pumpkin, we dropped her off.  Then we had to quickly go home because the little man decided he knew best and that he did not need shoes at Scented Acres.  Well no, no he didn't.  But he did need clean socks for bowling and the socks he was wearing then had mud and some chicken poop on them. 
We left the pumpkins at home and we gave them a quick bath.  Grabbed new clean socks and headed to Tiger Bowl.  We bowled two games.  He loved it.  He started off using the aimer but decided he did not want to do that.  Maybe we should have used the bumpers, but we did not.  So we just rolled balls.  And had fun.  The score was important to him but not over the top so.  Bowling is not something he is just naturally good at. 
So the plan is to go bowling again before his birthday for some more practice.  He wants to have his birthday party at the bowling ally.  Good plan little man.
And today we had fun.  And the pumpkins got dry so maybe tomorrow we carve them and roast some seeds. 

A Haunting

I took the littles to their very first haunting.  A family up off Mill Plain did up their yard with spooky things and a maze. They did a fabulous job for just being in the yard.  I heard one of the guys telling other people how he has worked for 15 years at pay to enter haunted houses. 
The little woman was not scared a bit.  The little man was in too much of a hurry to be scared or maybe he was scared and just wanted to hurry through it.  There wasn't really anything too spooky. 
One little story...the littles got ahead of me and in between us one of the workers came out of the shadows and followed them.  Now he did not scare them and I did not scare him, but it was an exact repeat of another haunted house I have done.  And that one I did scare the scarer because he wasn't aware of me being behind him.  This time the man must have at least been aware of me. 
Now they can say they have been to a haunting. I'm amazed at how much effort this family put into this.  I think next year the little woman will be old enough to go to a theatrical one, but the little man will have to do something else. 

Fall Festival

And the year keeps rolling by.  The school had their fall festival tonight.  I managed to get one kid to eat some dinner there.  They had pizza.  The kids got to dress up in their Halloween costumes.  The little man looked pretty cute as a vampire and the little woman looked fabulous as a devil.  Josie, from our street, was an angel.  So her dad took a picture of each girl looking over his shoulder.  Bet that is a cute picture.
They played games and won tokens, traded tokens for prizes and visited with their friends.  Every one was well behaved and are now settled in and quiet.  A good night was had by all. 

Birthday Wishes

We rushed home so we would be there when Chad arrived.  We beat him by about five minutes.  He brought balloons, cards, and candy.  Inside each card was a nice gift card for the littles to pick out their own gift and Chad hinted a bit that part of the card should buy some clothes.  He understands how fast kids grow and are always needing clothing. 
We had a nice visit with him.  I told him how much we appreciated him, Ky and Gina in our lives.  Next time it is our turn to make a trip up there to see them. 

A Happy Heart

When we got home I had a message from Chad.  He is coming down tomorrow to deliver some signs.  While here he wants to see us and give the littles their birthday presents.  How special is that?  And I don't mean that sarcastically. 
He goes out of his way to remember when their birthdays are and to give them gifts.  Basically the only one of their extended family that does.  And he isn't really related to them, although his son is.  I know that family is really important to Chad.  The connections were important to me at one time also, but after so much effort that wasn't in any way reciprocated...I quit.  Except for Chad, Gina and Ky. 
So my heart is happy that he is going out of his way to connect with the littles.  Our circle is so small and it helps having them in our lives. 

Family Dinner

We all went to Pat's house for burritos last night.  They were delicious.  We had a dutch apple pie for dessert.  Was suppose to be apple crisp, but my apples had a big mishap.
For a bit of time I had my mom.  We talked about some current things in my life and she told me I needed to cut my hair.  Great minds think alike.  That was the only advice she offered.  She just listened and asked the right questions and made the right comments.  It was nice having her when it seems like she has been hiding a lot lately.  That made my heart happy. 
The little man was ungrounded from the game at Pat's house so they played after dinner.  Two weeks is a long time, but he didn't complain at all.  Maybe it helps not living at Pat's house and only seeing him on weekends anyway. 

Busy Busy

I woke up and realized we are going to have a couple of busy busy weeks.  First I'm back to work my normal weeks of four days.  They have school.  Then we have girl scouts on Wed with their Halloween party.  The little man has a field trip to the pumpkin patch on Thursday and then Thursday evening is the Fall Festival at school. 
We hit the weekend with the little woman really really wanting to go to a haunted cemetery.  Haven't quite decided on that as the little man is still only six.  Then we have her birthday and Halloween.  They have been working on their costumes and we will have pumpkins to carve. 
Hopefully  keeping us busy keeps us out of trouble. 

A Little Adventure Downtown

We took advantage of the lovely fall day and went downtown to check out the new Waterfront Park.  We had lunch at Warehouse 23.  I thought the prices were pretty reasonable. 
After lunch we walked along the waterfront so we could go out on the walk out over the river.  The littles got a kick out of it.  They also loved meeting all the dogs down there.  There was a place you could get down by the water if you were brave enough to traverse over the rocks.  Some of those rocks were wiggly.  Did not stop the little man at all.  The little woman was wearing her boots and they weren't as secure so she did not make it to the bottom. 
Once we had looked at everything and talked about the condos and apartments being built there, we made our way back to our car.  Moved it so we could go to the park at Esther Short Park.  Farmer's Market was still going on.  And the first thing we saw was mini pumpkin decorating for free.  So each little had to do that.  They held onto the mini pumpkins for us while we played.  They also gave kids boo bucks to spend at the market.  Just imagine how excited my littles were when they discovered those boo bucks could be used for cotton candy.  I got a bag of cranberries and big bag of apples.  Later it kind of struck me that those guys at that stand really did not charge me enough.  But we are going to enjoy those apples in a crisp tomorrow at Uncle Pat's house.  I also got a cat nip toy for Sunset, who LOVED it. 
It was a great adventure and every one was mostly behaved.  We never expect perfect behavior because that isn't ever going to happen.  Small mishaps we can handle.