Trials and Tribulations

Everyone has them. Every family has them. I talk about mine. A lot. And yet I think I have a great life. There is always some kind of drama going on and I always have great stories. I fret, I worry, I feel sad, I feel almost mad, I almost hurt or at least feel numb. And I feel content and happy. I deal with the addictions of my family. I deal with the curves life throws us.
I met a neighbor the other day. We have been neighbors for a long long time and have never met. He asked about Myk. I told him Myk was going down his own path and he seemed to know what I meant. He offered sympathy. And I thought....at least, as of yet, I still have my child. This neighbor lost his daughter several years back. That trial and tribulation seems so much more worse than mine, to me.
And life goes on. And the trials go on. Now I have great stories about Audrie and Connor. They are going to have a great life too, but they will definitely give me more trials and tribulations as they live their life.
Connor smiled at us for the first time yesterday. Not a gas smile, but a smile we could tell was real. It may not be the first one, but it is the first one we know was a smile and not gas. :P

Visits

We were suppose to see Dave's mom and stepdad this week, but they have colds. So they opted not to come expose the little kids. Loretta came instead. She brought us salmon and Scottish Highland beef. She brought a cool book for Audrie from Alaska. We sure appreciate that. Especially Harvey fishing in Alaska and then bringing so much salmon home they could share with us. We just love visiting with Loretta as she tells the best stories.

Sarah and Parker dropped in to work today. I haven't seen her since they moved to Nevada. Parker is so cute and she did smile at me. She ate some of Jacob's birthday cake. Sarah looks really good. She misses us and we miss her. We didn't get to see Cade because he is not leaving his Papa's house at all. Not even with his Papa. Too funny.

Settling In

Connor has been here a week now. We are settling in to the newer routine. Not sure it is a complete routine yet, but we are working on it. We survived the holiday. Connor didn't seem too bothered by all the noise and commotion. He still needs to be held a lot, but we expected that. And what more important thing can we do than to sit and hold him? Audrie loves her baby brother and just wants to help so much. She wants to pick him up and hug him and kick him and hit him and kiss him and hug him again. All in a two minute time frame.
We expected to hear something from Cassie, but never did. She had asked Dave if she could come over on Christmas day if it was all cleared with Beth. She must not have gotten ahold of Beth before then. Then Beth tried to schedule a visit for her for this morning, but she was unavailable. Said she would visit with him next week after Myk gets out of jail. Hmmm. A couple of weeks ago she was agitated at the thought of having to wait till the first of Jan to see him and then it becomes her choice. I don't know what to say to that.
Audrie and Connor went to the Kadow Christmas. That was so nice having a two hour nap with no interruptions. Nana Nita felt bad for taking them away on the holiday, but I was glad they were being included in that side of their family. And I needed the nap. ;p Audrie came home with two new jammies and two new toys. Connor got a nice gift card for Nana to use as he needs things.

Sharing

Thanks So Much

Doug, Kristie and the boys returned from their adventure. We had a little dinner. I made a lovely pan of lasagna and I think it was one of the best I have made. Mom came over and joined us. She held Connor while I put dinner together. I had a pantry catastrophe. When I grabbed the lasagna noodles it knocked the bag of spaghetti so that it tipped and spaghetti went all over the floor. I saved most of the box, but there is a lot on the floor. I looked at it and couldn't even contend with it. So it sits there.
After dinner Doug and Kristie totally cleaned up the kitchen. They didn't even ask if they could help, they just did it. I'm sure that they are just polite like that, but I like to think they really wanted to help me out as they could tell I am a little tired. Middle of the night feedings are taking a little getting used to. Anyway I am so thankful.

A Beautiful Day

Rollercoaster ride. The drive to work was gorgeous. The frost on everything just sparkled and made it seem so Christmasy. When I got to work I found the most wonderful surprise. Heidi had brought in two bags of clothes for Audrie and Connor. And the permanent staff had chipped in and got us a baby present. It was wonderful. The box had bibs, blankets, binkies and onesies. The card had a Target gift card and a nice amount of cash. I was overwhelmed by the show of support from the people I work with. Connor is so lucky that they also are in his corner and pulling for him.
Elizabeth came over and hung out. Papa wasn't too fond of the idea of taking the little kids by himself for longer than he has to. So we just hung and played. Papa loaded photoshop on his computer for Elizabeth so she can start playing with that. I think she is going to have lots of fun with it. It gives her one more thing to do here so she doesn't get too bored.
Elizabeth told me I would just have to stay up late and get my gifts done. So I am. Everything is bagged. I know that is cheating, but this year I'll take the easy route. So I am waiting for Connor to wake up for his feeding and then it is off to bed. It was a beautiful day even with the emotional roller coaster rides of today.

Selfish

Wow. That word is not usually used to describe me. But my aunt used it yesterday. I'm selfish because I am taking on Audrie and Connor, my addict son's children. The selfish part comes from me not taking Tanya's girls that she and Jason put up for adoption fifteen and fourteen years ago. I "made" Tanya give them up. Right. Okay then. If Tanya would have kept the first one, we would have given her just as much help as we gave Myk and Cassie when Audrie was born. But she, Jason and his family decided to do the adoption and that was a valid choice. That girl went to a family that wanted her so much. And we grieved (we really did not think she would go through with it). Tanya didn't even tell us about the second baby until almost two months after she was born and already gone up for adoption. Yeah. I made her do that. Baby number two went to the same family as baby number one so they are together with a family who WANTED them. We had nothing to do with those decisions nor was our opinion or help asked for.
Skip ahead to last year. Myk is in prison and Cassie is doing Cassie things. That left Audrie in the wind. We took her rather than let her go to Child Protective Services and into foster care. That is not a wrong decision and one we got to make. Myk and Cassie agreed with it. Turns out we were right as CPS did have a referral to look into Audrie's well being.
Then comes Connor. We were told he was being given up for adoption when he was born. But that fell through and CPS called us to ask us if we would take him. So again this choice was ours to make and we made it for the benefit of Connor. And if it is selfish, so be it. We are going to take the best care of them we know how to do for as long as we are allowed to do so.
And as for me birthing a drug addict. I birthed a baby who had a genetic disposition to be an addict/alcoholic. And unfortunately he choose to go down that road. I don't hide the fact that he is an addict. And while it makes me sad that he is, I love my son. And I'm not going to be made to feel bad about the choices he made anymore than I am going to be made to feel bad about the choices Tanya made. I only have control over myself and my reactions. Which is why we say the serenity prayer a lot in our household.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Connor Gene

The little man is home, growing, and adjusting to life outside of the hospital. He weighed 9 pounds one ounce when we came home yesterday. Nothing wrong with his eating skills. Got his social security card so we know that his name is Connor Gene.

Yay!

Connor is home. He was released this morning. Came home, ate and took a nap. Doing well so far.
Tomorrow the new case worker from CPS is coming out. And Connor has an appointment with his pediatrician on Thurs. Nana has to call DSHS and WIC and get those going. Lots to do in the near future. And to top it all off we have the holiday this weekend.

Finally Maybe

So Connor has now been off the morphine since yesterday noon. All things according to Hoyle means he can come home noon tomorrow. Finally. Hope I didn't just jinx it. He is doing so well this time around. The nurses said he was doing good, but he has needed lots of holding today. He hardly spent any time in his bed. I got there and fed him his dinner and rocked for an hour. He is so sweet.
Dave and I finished getting all the paperwork filled out and gathered for CPS for the home study. Tomorrow we get our fingerprints taken for a bigger better background check. Must have passed the first one. It is amazing all the things they wanted to know. Anyway we got it done and we wait for the home walk-through to be arranged. One more step out of the way.
We've been talking a lot to Audrie telling her about how her brother is coming home. I'm not sure she gets it yet, but she will tomorrow. Connor got her a present that he will give her tomorrow. Hope that helps.
First week home and it is filled with the holiday. Hopefully we have it spread out enough that he doesn't get overwhelmed. We have it set so there is never more than two extra kids here. I already know that Kristie's boys will be great. They are old enough to understand having to be quiet and calm around Connor.
Life as we know it changes tomorrow. And he is worth it.

Take a Deep Breath

Okay then release it all the way. Whew. Between Myk calling to find out if money got put on his books and Tanya wanting us to babysit...I'm just all out of patience. Audrie isn't feeling well. Dave has a dr. appt. tomorrow for his back. Connor is still in the hospital. The important things. And yet the adult children seem to think that their things are more important.
So let me lay it all out. Tanya doesn't want to do what she said she would for Myk, it doesn't involve me. I already fixed the money on the books for her. I don't even want to know about the phone thing.
Babysitting was explained a week ago when she asked last time. Last time worked out since Connor wasn't home yet, but he will be home by the next time. So until Connor has adapted to living here there won't be any babysitting. And even then there probably will not be. Last weekend she felt the need to apologize (four or five times) to Elizabeth for making her come here and that made me feel like a doormat and that is done. I have more important things to take care of, than to be a babysitter so she can party. Not that she cares otherwise she might have asked once about Connor.
Oh yeah I forgot. So sorry. Never mind. But babysitting is off the table for awhile.

A Quote From Erin

It doesn’t have to be fancy.

It doesn’t have to look pretty.

All it takes is a minute.

To set an intention.

To ground the feet.

To breathe into the belly.

To gently move the body.

To say thank you.

To welcome the new day.



And what a difference it makes.

eringoodman.com/blog

Quiet Morning

So I am up before the house, but not by much. Doug and Kristie must have been catching up on some sleep because they roused shortly after me. Nope I've been informed that they have been awake for a bit.
We had a lovely little supper last night with Doug, Kristie and the boys. The boys really really like root beer floats. They are quite charming boys and Audrie loves them.
I'm feeling a little motivated today. Thinking it is time to tackle some more baby shower in a trailer stuff. Almost feeling like baking cookies. Hmmm. Must finally be feeling Christmas spirit. And we need some groceries.
And of course I will fit in my at least once daily visit to the hospital. See how the little man is doing today.

Oy

Poor little guy. Wasn't ready to be med-free. They put him back on with six hour dosing. Nurses best guess is he will go home next week. So now we call him our little Christmas present. Better to deal with it now while he is at the hospital than to deal with it at home and have to go back. Thinking positive.

For Today

I am only worrying about those important to me.
I am amazed at the resiliency of Connor.
I am grateful for Dave filling out the paperwork.
I am looking forward to the home study. May learn some things.
I am finished Christmas shopping.
I am grateful for Elizabeth and Adrianna.
I am enjoying Audrie cuddles and kisses.
I am practicing ahimsa.
I am appreciating Mom helping with Connor.
I am breathing.
I am feeling joy.
I am waiting for Connor to come home.

Yay!

Connor is finally off the last of the medication. Now we have to wait 24 to 48 hours for him to be released. Just depends on how he does. I saw him this evening and he was sleeping fine. It will be nice for him to be home. We were told we would still see symptoms, but that he should be consolable. Seems to be the criteria that now determines when he will be released. He's a trooper.

Another Day

Our little Connor is just having a tough time getting off that last dose of medicine. They decided to keep him on it another day. Now maybe he can come home on Wednesday. We spent some time just him and I this afternoon. I got to feed him and change his diaper and just interact. He is eating more and now weighs 8 lbs 3 oz. The little man is growing. He is so so sweet.

Reflections

Getting ready for the change. Connor will be coming home in the next couple of days. Our whole routine is going to change. I think it is going to slow down even further than it already had. The most important thing we do is meet the needs of Audrie and Connor. It is also the most wonderful thing we do.
I have started the process of going through all the stuff from the baby shower in a trailer. I'm so overwhelmed at the generosity. We have decided that what we can't use we will donate to Options 360. That is a pregnancy clinic that Cassie used when she was pregnant with Audrie. They got a lot of baby things through that. So this will be giving back and on to the next baby in need.
Audrie is playing with all of Connor's new toys. Guess he is learning how to share without even knowing it. I think it will be easier for him than it will be for Audrie. :P
The girls came over last night to spend the night. We had intended to go to the Zoo Lights. It was still freezing in the afternoon and the rain started. I was apprehensive about driving over there and getting stuck with ice. Then I saw that Adrianna had summer shoes instead of warm shoes. So we cancelled that trip. Instead the girls helped Papa cut down our Christmas tree and then we watched "A Christmas Carol". It was our movie from last year, but I missed it since I was up visiting Myk in prison Christmas Eve.
And now I must finish my side jobs so I can go to the hospital and spend some Connor time. Papa said he is a little fussy today and needs holding.

Baby Shower Trailer

The trailer arrived this morning. Isaac had an interesting time backing it up our driveway, but he made it. Treva is not packing challenged and that trailer was full. There was a crib, a changing table/dresser, a swing, bouncy chair, exersaucer and boxes and bags of miscellaneous stuff. We have enough clothes to clothe several little boys. Treva had went through and washed everything and sorted it into boxes by size. We are good till 2T. Audrie had her own bag with a dog in it and two new outfits.

After all the stuff was brought in we visited for a bit and then Treva and I headed to the hospital. Treva fell in love in an instant. She spent over two hours just rocking little Connor.

Sounds like we are looking at Monday for his discharge. That gives us a day to get all the stuff put away. Thank you so much Treva and all your troops from your friends to Isaac. We really really do appreciate it. As said many times Connor is so lucky to have the family he has who step up to the plate.

Glorious Friday

What a glorious morning. Up before the sun and the girl. Drinking my coffee and enjoying the quiet. Busy day ahead today, but it is nice to start out slowly.
We have an appointment with an occupational therapist today for Connor. Just to get some tips. I have lunch today with Fred, Marilyn and Barb. So looking forward to that. I really miss my lunches when they get cancelled. Mona will be back next week and that makes me especially happy. She has been gone way too long this time. I understand, but I miss her so much.
Doug and Kristie come next week. We'll see them for one night before they venture off on an adventure. Then we'll see them again for Christmas. We'll finally get to meet Donny and Ben.
Cassie did give me an apology for the crap she posted on fb. I was amazed. I kind of felt stupid though when I realized where it all came from. It was just like how she used to act and I totally missed it.

Elizabeth

It was an Elizabeth day. We didn't do anything special. Just picked her up from school and we came home and hung out. She watched me clean the peninsula getting ready for the Christmas tree. She said wow she doesn't think she has ever seen it empty. I said....oh yes...last year for the tree also. Guess we have a few more years of the tree being up on the peninsula. Then we had some dinner and stopped at FM to get a little present for Audrie from Connor.
Elizabeth said she feels left out of getting attached to Connor. She wants to see him so bad. She just has to wait till next week. She said she probably has to wait until Christmas. Maybe we'll arrange something. Little guy needs all the love he can get.

Audrie

So Audrie is in awe of her little brother. Then she is mad he is in the swing she has claimed as her own at the hospital. Yup, she is a jealous little girl. We are going to take Scott up on his suggestions. At least he has already been through the new baby stage with Lucy and Molly. I've never done this part. I'm sure she will be fine when she gets used to it. He is HER brother and hers alone. We've been giving her extra love and talking about Connor living here. She seems fine with all that so far. It is when it happens, that it could get interesting.

Love

After work yesterday I went to see Connor to have a little time without Audrie. She is getting bored at the hospital. When I arrived Nana Nita and Cassie were there so I just visited for awhile and then went home. Dave opted to stay home that evening and I went again. Connor slept the entire time in my arms in the rocking chair. We just rocked and rocked. That is love. I had forgotten about the little gas smiles and all the little noises babies make. He was very very calm which is good. What a little man.

Little Pooper

Audrie and I went in to see Connor tonight. I got to change a poopy diaper as soon as I got there. Fed him and then he gave me another poopy diaper. And oh boy it was a full one. I think he saved it all up for me. Guess it is Nana's job. He is gaining weight. Weighs in at 7 lbs. 10 oz. now. Eating and sleeping well. I ran into the nicu dr. on the way in and he said he is still very pleased with how Connor is progressing and should be able to come home in four or five days. Just all depends on Connor. My guess is he will be home sooner than that, but I'm not a good guesser.
I am still amazed at the outpouring of love and help being offered us. I am very grateful. Our family, Cassie's family and a great number of friends have been so supportive. We can never express how appreciative we are, but just say thank you. And while everyone is doing it for Connor, Myk and Cassie are grateful also.

It's Almost Official

Connor will be coming to live with us. The adoption didn't come together and he is being placed with us. It again gives Myk and Cassie a chance to get their priorities straight. And if not then at least Audrie and Connor are being raised together. We have some training to get at the hospital. And then we will be bringing him home. Treva rallied her troops and got us a bunch of supplies. She is delivering them this weekend. Nita has volunteered babysitting whenever we need it. This family really steps up to the plate when it has to. Connor is a lucky boy.
It becomes official after the background check and home study are done. We have no worries as to that stuff.

Sunday Visits

We went and saw Connor twice again today. I got the poopy diaper this time. I was holding him when he let it go. That is love. He looks better and better. The yellowing is going away. He likes to eat. He has gained five ounces since he was born. Audrie is now bored with the hospital. Guess it is time for that boy to come home. If he stays tomorrow we will probably only do one visit. Unless we do separate visits.
Beth and Randy came out today to bring me a couple of things made by our Auntie Jean. We had dessert. I made a cherry pie. We had a nice visit.

Today

I am getting ready for changes.
I am thankful for J. Gorder's wisdom.
I am appreciating Dr. Baker's enthusiasm.
I am snuggling with Audrie.
I am in awe of Treva and all she can do.
I am practicing ahimsa.
I realized I am not done with my Christmas shopping.
I love Santa Claus.
I am grateful for God's mysterious ways.
I need to go grocery shopping, but it will wait again. Good thing we can eat out of my pantry for a long time if we have to.

Connor Visit

We went and visited Connor today. We got to feed him. And he slept on us while we rocked. He is no longer under the lights which is a good thing. He gave Papa a poopy diaper. Those diapers are so small.

Dad

So my dad visited me this week. It must have been Monday evening. I was kind of floored, but that is all right. Then Connor was born on Tuesday. Oh. That's why Dad visited. Thought I might need to feel him for a moment and to be reminded. And I was. Whether I am related to Connor by blood or not does not matter. I am his Nana. And he is Audrie's brother. And that sometimes we are going to worry over stuff that gets taken care of. It's all good.

Connor

Birthday Present

Audrie is showing off her new skidders. We got them for her for her birthday. She only waited until Thanksgiving to open the present. :p

A Great Sadness

I am greatly sad that Cassie read my post about Connor and read it as criticism of her and her choice. There was no criticism there. Yes we would have taken Connor if it was Myk's baby, as we know she can't raise a baby right now. I don't expect her to take our feelings into account as to her decision to give him up for adoption, but I do think she needs to be aware that her decision affects all of us. Not just her. So I blogged about how much it will hurt and how grateful I was for her letting me be part of the birth. It was a good memory and then the next day I read the crap posted on facebook. I don't expect her decision to be easy. I don't think that it should be. Maybe she wouldn't have felt so criticized if she had ever had a conversation with me about how I felt about the pregnancy and all the things surrounding it. But she never did.
I'm going to try and just remember the peaceful feelings of being there at the miracle of his birth. And we wait six or more weeks to find out how much grieving we do. Because whether or not it is Myk's child, Connor is Audrie's brother. And I think that it is sad that if they are full siblings it wasn't even considered that they could be raised together. That said...I'm still pretty sure he isn't Myk's baby. But he is still wonderful and I am still very grateful for the gift Cassie gave me. And I expect an apology for the crap, but I probably won't get it.

Yeah Right

We are pretty busy at work. Lots of pallets. Just the normal upswing for getting ready for Winter Rush. Rich told us that we could basically work whatever we wanted to this week. So I have gone in early. Brenda tells me that she is going to work on Thursday as we have so much to do. Thursday is her normal day off. Okay. Then she asks me if I am coming in on Friday, my day off. Yeah right. Only if Rich asks me to or if there were still 14 pallets sitting on the floor. When I left yestereday there were three baby pallets and a big pallet with no more scheduled this week. I'm not working on Friday. I'm going to lunch with Marilyn and Fred. :)

Connor Gene (Maybe)

Cassie went into labor yesterday. Myk called at about 6:30 wondering at what point they should go to the hospital. Her contractions were 9 minutes apart. I told him when it is like 5, or the water breaks, or there is too much pain. He called again at 7 and said please come. Her contractions had jumped to every couple of minutes. Off I went to pick them up and take them to the hospital. Every slowpoke must have been ahead of me. But I made it and we made it to the hospital about 7:45. They took her right up to maternity and did all the things they do. Connor Gene was born at 10:05 p.m. weighing in at 7 lb 3 oz and is 18 inches long. He was so mad at being born that there was no question about his lungs working. I absolutely appreciated Cassie allowing me to be part of the process. I looked at it like if she follows through with her plan of giving him up for adoption it may be the only chance I get to see him. And we won't know for a while yet if he is Myk's or not. Either way he is just perfect.
If Cassie follows through with the adoption in the real world and it turns out to be Myk's, the grief process begins. I had told Myk we would take him if he was related to us, especially to avoid that process. I think Myk would rather risk disappointing us than pissing off Cassie. It is their choice. But they aren't the only ones who lose something. And they both seem to think they will be all involved in that baby's life. That doesn't happen. And even if it did. The adoptive parents never said oh and we'll let the grandparents still be grandparents. Their great great happiness comes at the expense of loss for our whole family.
So thank you Cassie for giving your mom and I a chance to be part of the miracle of your boy. And thanks for the time we got to have before he moves to another family. And thanks for not making us share that time with the people who are so happy while we grieve. We have a good memory.

Raffle

Every year the bookstore collects toys for the Salvation Army for the holidays. We also do a raffle for just the employees. Usually the gifts are backpacks, Clark mugs, etc. Nothing too exciting. This year I noticed there are ten boxes for us to put our raffle tickets into. So I read the prizes and go whoa. We have one for bird watching binoculars and a nature walk with our resident bird watcher. Cool. So I am thinking this is the one I would like to win. Then I scan the next box. OMG. It is a ride along with Alan. Don't I sound like I am in the know. It is a ride along with one of our sheriff deputies. I would love love love to be on the other side of that. So I teased that maybe I needed to hide the box. Or I need to buy a lot of tickets to make sure I win.
So today I look at the boxes again. Every box is empty except the bird watching box. So I take a sneaky look at who bought all those tickets. It was Marti. Marti is the wife of Alan. So I go to her office and say either I need to hide my box or buy something like 25 tickets. She finally realizes what I said and says...you want the bird watching? I said nope, I want to ride with her husband. She admitted to buying 30 tickets trying to get that bird watching.
Anybody can do a ride along as long as you can pass a background check. So she told me that if I don't win she will help me arrange it and get the background check done a lot faster than if I just called up myself. And then I could ride with Alan for sure either way. I'll still put all my tickets in that box, as the purpose is the fundraising for the Salvation Army.

Calm

I finished reading "Addict in the Family" last night. As I was finishing up I felt this great calm come over me. It is like what I have been trying to practice and what I know is right was given credence and I became calm. It feels really nice. Carried on over to today. Worked hard and we didn't have any complaints about our holidays. I'm going to keep working my own recovery and not get sucked in to the insanity in the family. Just because they want to play doesn't mean I have to. :P
Oh and I just found out that I won some homemade soap in a contest one of the local businesses had on Saturday in honor of Small Business Saturday. It was at the place I spent the most money also so that seems fitting.

Today

I am not worrying about those outside of my household.
I am practicing ahimsa.
I am breathing.
I am thinking about a new yoga practice.
I am in the present.
I am working on my intentions. Guess I already am in a yoga practice.
I am playing with Audrie.
I am enjoying leftover turkey noodle soup. Yum.
I am visiting my mother.
I am finally decorating for the season and finishing my Christmas cards.
It is a good day.

Small Business Saturday

Today was small business Saturday. So I visited several shops in my town. Spread some money around in purchases. Managed to pick up a few more Christmas presents. Got to see Lulu and Brandons' baby. She is just precious. Their family own a local Thai restaurant and Lulu ventured out on her own with a boutique. You can visit her at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lulus-Boutique/141660580767

Almost Done

Took pie to Myk and Cassie. Then they went with me to Costco. They carted Audrie around while I did a bit of shopping. I am almost done Christmas shopping. I like it.
Dave got my bins down from the attic so maybe I'll decorate this year. Trying to stave off that depression I have had the past couple of years. At least it isn't the kind that needs medication. Once I realize I am depressed I can snap myself out of it. And it mostly seems to be situational. This has been mostly one crappy year with everyone in my family going off the deep end so situations abound. We'll see if we can stop it in its tracks this year.
At least this year....Myk is not in prison. That has to be a positive. :P

Thanksgiving 2011

Elizabeth was such a great helper today. Any task I put to her she did willingly and quickly. We got the dinner out in record time. The pies were delicious as was her fruit salad. Seemed like everyone enjoyed the meal and no one fell asleep on the couch for a change.
Elizabeth and I had looked at our collection of pictures earlier today. There are a lot of them with Pat sleeping on the couch. Usually after Thanksgiving. She got a kick out of seeing different ones of her mom and Doug when they were young. She was amazed at how many of Myk we had. I had already given Doug and Tanya most of theirs, but I still have Myk's. She said they didn't have very many of Myk and that is probably true. I was amazed at how many of Denise I had. And all her various hair styles over the years. Sometimes the hair style dated the picture. :p
Myk and Cassie opted not to join us this year. Too much drama. I totally understood and didn't feel bad about their choice. That and after last year I am getting used to holidays without my child. I'll take them some pie tomorrow as they requested. I just send out loving thoughts to them. And we are still awaiting the arrival of that baby.
Dave is finally feeling better after being sick all week. Whatever it was I am sure glad that Audrie and I seem to have not gotten it.

Elizabeth and Pies

Elizabeth came over today to bake pies for Thanksgiving. She made a pumpkin, a chocolate cream and a lemon meringue. She did a beautiful job. Says she intends on helping prepare the feast tomorrow also. I think she really likes to cook.

I had never really looked at the whole box for the pie crusts. I thought the warning about not eating the dough was hilarious. It reminded me of my grandmother telling us that eating the pie dough would give you worms. I have no idea where that came from, except that pie crust used to be more work, especially if people were eating the dough. I looked at the ingredients and could not figure out the reason for the warning. So yes, I ate the scraps. I eat raw cookie dough also. :p

Cheap Cheap Cheap

I love this time of year. Get a turkey for 26 cents a pound. Yeah have to spend $50, but that isn't hard to do. Picked one up for my brother today. $3.75 for a nice turkey. He'll have the whole meal with us and then cook his turkey for his leftovers...sandwiches and whatnot. Our turkey costed $4.75.
Just a thought. They can't raise a turkey for that cheaply. Hmmm.

Alcoholic Games

It is just so amazing how quickly one can fall right back into old patterns of alcoholic behaviors. I guess it is something we all deal with until all the family members are in recovery and that means we will always be dealing with it.
So I said no to Myk today as I know I should. I did not try and make it right for him after his sister kicked him while he's down. She wants to do that and be powerful and in control, well it is between him and her. He might learn something from it. And I remembered to not enable.
I'm trying to let all of that generation make their choices and live with their consequences. I know better than to offer unsolicited advice or opinions. They have to make their road and live it. So I have to not get sucked in when Tanya tries to justify her actions. Got to let it go. Got to let Myk's anger go as he needs to learn how to deal with that.
I have to remind myself that it is not really me personally everyone is lashing out at, but at their choices, their consequences, their diseases. I just happen to be standing where the fall out hits. Maybe I need to find a new place to stand. :P
Oh and Doug, don't think that leaves you off the hook. Just right now they are the ones acting out. You have your own consequences from your choices. :P Just you aren't getting all over me today. We are an alcoholic family and that is never going to change.

For Today

I am watching Myk and Cassie be resilient. I'm not sure I would survive on the road they are on.
I am hugging Audrie and being hugged by Audrie.
I am thankful for Elizabeth coming to Papa's rescue and being a Papa's helper.
I am grateful for meals with my mom. We had pork last night.
I am working hard at work. The busy time has started.
I am practicing ahimsa and need to work at it more.
I am breathing in and out.
I am awaiting the birth of Cassie's baby boy.
I am enjoying the cats who opt to sleep with me and Minnie for being a cuddle dog.

Girls' Night Again

The girls came over to spend the night again. We had spaghetti and played "Feed the Kitty". Four games with Elizabeth winning two and Nana winning two. Adrianna said she won when she played Audrie. Yeah, that's what I thought. The little girls again played very nicely.
It is amazing how grown-up Adrianna has become since she turned four years-old. It is like a switch flipped. Course she is tattling a lot, but that is a phase.
Elizabeth and I planned our pies for Thanksgiving and had a Christmas discussion. Trying to get some logistics worked out as best we can.
We always enjoy the girls coming over.

Blueberry Applesauce

Closeness

I am very close to my mom. We used to talk on the phone every day. Then her dementia hit and it changed things a bit. We are still close and we still talk a lot, but it is changed from what it was. I think because she is changing. It has been a great relationship. And I have always appreciated it. She cultivated it so as not to have a relationship with me like she had with her mother.
So I had a son. And while I have a great relationship with him he isn't going to call me every day just to chat. We won't have the same thing I have with my mom. And I knew that from the time he was born. And that is all right. He is my son.
There have been times when I have thought that maybe I could have it with Tanya. But that is not to be. And that's all right. She is my husband's child and her mother's daughter. And so I move on to Elizabeth. Maybe. She is 12 years-old and a lot can happen before she becomes a grown-up. Right now we are close and I like it. I hope we can maintain it. It is going to depend on her and those life forces conspiring against it.
What I love about Elizabeth at this age is her artisticness, her willingness to try new things, her love for her sister, her empathy and compassion, her honesty, her morality, and her sense of humor. I hope good things for her. That she continues to not need to learn every life lesson the hard way. I hope she can have a great relationship with her mom. I knew when she was little that we would have a special relationship.
I'm raising Audrie and we will have a very special relationship. But I am realistic enough to know that by the time she is a grown-up I will be much older and maybe not in the know so much. We will be close, but it will be different.
Maybe I need to do some more sowing of seeds.

Fridays

So we are back to regular Friday lunches. My friends Fred and Marilyn are back in town for several months. Mona will be back next month. It will be really good to see her, as I miss her a lot. Barb joined us today. Audrie can say her name. We've been through a lot over the last few years that we have been doing these lunches. Who knew when I attended that support group in 2004 that I would find lifelong friends. Sure am glad that I did.

Big Helper

We are starting to work with Audrie to help us pick up her messes. So far she is doing it. She had started doing it at the bank all by herself. She likes to help and is a great big helper. My house is still clean from when she and I cleaned it on Friday. So we must be doing something right.
Today she is going with Nana Nita out for lunch with her mommy and her aunt Tracy. She should enjoy that. Papa is already making plans to take advantage of non-child time. :P
We decided we are adjusting to her newfound independence. She is quite the girl and has a mind of her own. She has a stubborn streak like her parents. And she knows how to push Papa's buttons. :P That is when she isn't wrapping him around her little finger. Her vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds. Like hearing her use real words that we understand.

Myk/Mike

I heard tell that Myk is thinking about changing his name back to Mike. Something to do with reinventing himself. I really liked Myk and thought it was unique. But I understand.
I saw him yesterday. Haven't seen him since Audrie's birthday. I know he has been doing some side jobs to make money. He and Cassie are still at a hotel. I got hit up for money yesterday. And I relented. Once. Cassie looked very tired. She probably is since she is only about two weeks till her due date. Myk has a broken front tooth. Looks like that tooth is going to fall out anyway. Makes me sad. Someday he will want to fix that.
I am sad that I am instantly mad when we see each other and he wants something. He isn't doing anything wrong....I just don't like myself very much when I enable and I don't like myself very much when I don't. So I get angry to be put in a position of having to choose. I only want the best for him. And I know he isn't there yet. Isn't ready for that recovery road. And while I say I am not walking that path with him....I am every single day.
He is my child and I love him more than anything in this world. Right now I feel like clinging to him and holding him tight because I know how tenuous my family can be. Right now even in addiction he still shows some respect and honesty in his dishonesty. Right now he is still the only one who can make me feel pain (so I'm not a complete sociopath). He is my child. Wish that I could make his life perfect, but I can't. All I can do is love him.

For Today

I am practicing ahimsa.
I am appreciating my clean house and Audrie helping me to clean it.
I am grateful for Minnie snuggles.
I am listening to my brother saying "Oh well".
I am happy to go to work and being with good company.
I am filled with the joy of Audrie.
I am glad that Elizabeth and I are all right.
And I am proud of her for choosing honesty.
I am saying the serenity prayer.
I am glad my mom is feeling better.
I love Dave, although that is everyday.
I am just grateful for Adrianna and all her wisdom.

A Nice Weekend

Got all my work done. The girls went home Sat. morning. Then we had a nice dinner with Pat at Red Lobster. Still had the gift card from xmas that he gave us to use. So we did. It was endless shrimp. Audrie behaved herself pretty well even if she turned her nose up at shrimp and crab.
Enjoyed a nice nap today and am now waiting for Audrie to get up from hers. I like these quiet nice drama-free weekends. I also like ones where I get all the work done early and can veg a bit. Watched "The Other Boleyn Girl" finally and enjoyed it.

Kylee

We welcome Kylee into the world. She was born on Mike's birthday. Weighed in at 8 pounds and is 20 inches long. My best friend became a grandma again. I'm still trying to wrap my head around Jeremy being all grown up and now a daddy. I still see him as the boy I met in Florida all those years ago. Anyway best wishes to the new family and healthy and happy thoughts going out.

And It Continued On

The girls came to spend the night. Elizabeth and I made pizzas. They turned out fine. Elizabeth said they were better last time. I think she likes really thick crusts. This time they were thinner although not thin. The little girls played mostly nicely and wore themselves out. So far I haven't heard a peep out of them since we put them to bed. Elizabeth got exposed to "Grimm". She said she doesn't like scarey shows, but she sat right there and watched it. A good evening.

A Great Morning

Audrie helped me do some cleaning this morning. We got the living room all whipped into shape. She loves to vacuum. We worked on the kitchen a little bit. She found it extremely amusing to lock herself in the tupperware cupboard. She fits in it and it has baby locks on it. So she crawled in and shut the door behind her. Too funny. We fed Papa some breakfast. Usually he has to make his own if he wants it. That means he doesn't eat nearly as much as he should.

The Rest of the Story

So while in Georgia Doug told us that he and Kristie had gotten married in August. Gave us a song and dance about it being for her kids and that no one knows. And how they are going to have a ceremony in California next year so the guest list will be limited. Okay. The marriage didn't surprise me at all. I expected it last May and was surprised that it didn't happen. But I'm sitting there trying to process the secret aspect. The fact that we are not important at all. How much my relationships are not what I think they are (and I'm getting tired of saying that).
So we come home and I'm still trying to process. Still not getting it. I cannot fathom it. And then I hear the rest of the story. Ah. We were not worthy because we had issues with Kristie before and even though we had worked them out we would still be too critical of the quickness of the wedding to know about it when it occurred. They did not want to hear any criticism. Okay then.
And so life goes on. For me the relationships have changed (again). We welcome Kristie into the family. And that is all that can be said about it. But at least the rest of the story makes it make a little bit of sense.

Routine

Back at it. Went to work yesterday and it felt so good. I did not realize how safe I feel there. There is honesty, respect and caring. I don't have to wonder if what I hear is the truth or someones version of what they think I should hear. That is not to say we don't have our own little dramas going on there, but they aren't harmful.
Today is Elizabeth day. We are scheduled to return to The Catalyst for her ears to be checked. Last I heard she has NOT been bothered by her ears at all. Maybe a needle is the way to go for piercings. Doesn't matter for me since I don't intend to ever get any more.
Starting to plan Thanksgiving. Dave's mom wanted us to come over there. Not going to happen. With the exception of last year, we have had Thanksgiving dinner at our house for the last 20 years. We like it that way. Dave invited his mom, but that did not include his brothers and there in lays the rub. Made her cry as she feels like she doesn't have a family (I understand the feeling). She does, just not together. Our tradition trumps guilting.

Home

We made it home safe and sound. Audrie slept on the plane coming back. Course she burned off a lot of energy at the Augusta airport with her new friend Ian. He must have been about four years-old.
It was a lovely trip although the deep end didn't go away. Just found out it was deeper than we thought. Ah. Life. Mine is never boring.
Got home and did a major grocery shopping. The cupboards were getting a little bare before we left, but there wasn't any point in shopping till we got home. That is not to say there wasn't food in the house, just not easy food. I took a little time and cleaned out the pantry and the frig before I headed to the store. I wasn't surprised when the bill at the store was $250. But we should be good now for awhile again. At least till Thanksgiving. :p
Audrie fell right back into her routines. She is really an easy girl. Got to like that.

The Zoo

We took a day and drove up to Columbia S.C. to meet our friend Kim. Audrie loved her dogs, but it wasn't reciprocated. They did tolerate her though. We drove over to the Riverbanks Zoo. Very cool zoo. It is small, but you feel closer to the animals. If a tour of school kids hadn't just passed through we would have gotten to feed the giraffes. They were already full when we passed by. That would have been cool and reminiscent of that place in Africa that Heather and I wanted to go to (before life intervened and changed our plans). '

After that we went out to Thai Lotus for lunch. Thai Lotus must be a popular name for Thai restaurants. I had some delicious pad thai.

It was really great to meet Kim in person and spend the day with her. Hopefully she will come out this way to visit her sister and we will see her again.

Today

I am grateful for the ability to breathe.

I am grateful for Audrie living with us.

I am thankful for Dave.

I am happy for my Monday morning quote from Andrea.

I am grateful for my mom.

I am grateful for my brother.

I am grateful for Facebook which lets me reconnect.

I am practicing ahimsa.

First Hike

Audrie had her first hike today. Doug took us on base with the dogs. We did a mile loop in a pine forest. She was fascinated with the cones and the sticks. She walked well over 3/4 of the way.

Incredible

I did not know how many of my relationships are superficial. I always find it amazing to learn these things. I also find it amazing how numb I can feel about it. Does make me wonder sometimes why I try so hard and have it all be for naught. It is just a reminder that it is what it is and maybe I should just be happy with the role that has been assigned to me. But I won't keep secrets and I may have to look elsewhere for respect and honesty, and leave the rest as superficial.

Audrie is Making Friends

We spent the evening with Heather and Rudy. Audrie loved them. She found a great playmate in Rudy. She tormented their cats and played a little with Raina and Dixie, the dogs. Heather looks really good and Rudy is funny. Their roommate scared me half to death as I did not know he was there. Anyone who knows me knows I am already a little jumpy anyway. Nice to meet Pablo even after that. We had dinner and a lovely visit.

The Best Hug

After a long day of traveling, the best thing is a hug. Doug and Kristie were waiting for us at the airport. They didn't get much sleep as our flight got in at 11:30 p.m. And they had to be up by 5:30 a.m. Doug showed us how to use the fancy coffee maker and where to find the garbage can. Both equally important.

I am so surprised that I am up before Dave and Audrie. And I have no idea why blogger is letting me blog this morning. Oh wait...maybe it has something to do with that iPad update I did. Makes me happy.

Audrie stayed awake almost the whole day yesterday. She fell asleep five minutes before we landed in Atlanta. The plane was early so we waited for the gate. That gave her a half an hour nap. She learned how to push Papa's buttons on a plane. She was shy with Doug and took right to Kristie.

Now on to our time away from the deep end.

Today

I am grateful for my grandchildren.
I am grateful for some clearing of the air.
I am grateful for dog snuggles on cold nights.
I am grateful for Audrie being gentle with kitties.
I am breathing and practicing ahimsa.
I am thankful for Dave.
I wish the best for Myk and Cassie and hope they can achieve it.
I am loving fall.

Halloween

I dressed up as my alter ego today. Nathan. All in black with blackish hair and extra make-up. Used that can stuff for the hair. Never again. It was so disgusting. All day I kept washing my hands because I touch my hair a lot. Then I touch my face a lot. Eww. My hands are a little stained now. Anyway it was kind of fun.
We opted not to take Little Miss trick or treating tonight. I had thought that her parents wanted to do it, but we heard nothing. I know Cassie had bought a costume a few weeks back, but I never saw it. We figure Little Miss wasn't going to miss anything since she has no clue as to what it all is anyway. I'm sure it will be different next year.

Nana's Blog

"Nana, can I read your blog"? Affirmative. Pretty soon she is giggling. She really liked where I was thanking her for her Oreo picture. Wonder if she was just curious or whether she was looking for something specific. Last time she wanted in my blog she looked at the pictures. All 575 of them. I must take a lot of pictures...or I blog a lot with pictures. :P

Birthday Party

Audrie turned 2 today. We had cake for her and Adrianna who turned 4 two weeks ago. It was a nice time and everyone was pretty much on their best behavior. The girls got a couple of nice presents. Adrianna loved her dress. Audrie loved Adrianna's dog. The cake was very pink. I'm pretty sure Elizabeth got bored. :P

Adrianna and Elizabeth are spending the night.

Preparations

Henna Tattoos

Elizabeth's henna tattoo.

Mine.

The pictures are from before we finished scraping the henna off.

It was Elizabeth day, so I took her to my friend David Green's house and he designed the hibiscus flowers for us and then drew them on our arms with the henna. David and I have had this in the works since last year. The timing finally worked out right this week.

David is an artist who also works with me at the bookstore. He is trying to become an illustrator. He showed Elizabeth some cool things he made in photoshop. She showed him her angry birds pumpkin. I think they enjoyed meeting each other.

More of the Same

I was astounded and completely bowled over. Never in a million years would
I ever think that seeing Doug is only a bonus because he is in my favor at the moment (he is never out of favor, so I'm not sure what that means). I am just glad that I have worked past my differences with Kristi which means I can continue to have a relationship with Doug that includes all of his life not just part. I CAN compartmentalize, but I choose not to most of the time. Wow. Really?

Donorschoose.orghttp://www.donorschoose.org/1130&verify=-610232294&challengeid=202845

Donorschoose.org

http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/search.html?state=WA&community=13125:2

Awhile back Jacob did a contest that involved funding schools through Donors Choose. It is kind of cool as teachers apply and ask for money and tell you why they want it. I like the idea of making a donation and getting to choose where the money goes. Anyway.....
Since I had participated before I received an email with a code for donating. I'm sure it is a way of reminding people to keep donating. Since Dave retired I don't feel that we have much extra for donations right now. But I used that code and actually helped a classroom in my school district. How cool is that?
And it did serve as a reminder of the important things. Education is important. This time I helped with art supplies. Last time with books. The needs are always changing so it gives lots of ways to help.

The Story of the Tomato

Audrie has discovered that she really likes apples as they come. Whole. Our gala tree produced a small crop of small apples. Just her size. So she has been picking them off the counter and eating them. With me so far...
We went grocery shopping and had Papa help us carry in the bags. I am putting stuff away when he asks me why I bought a tomato with bites out of it. Well I didn't. That tomato was whole when I bought it. He showed me and sure enough there were two bites missing. Very weird. Then we spotted the "bites" on the floor by the counter that the apples sit on.
Audrie had thought that tomato was an apple and obviously had to try two bites to make sure it wasn't before putting it back on the counter. Too funny.

Score

When I got to work today there was a bag on my desk with a note from Heidi. She gave Audrie a bag of play clothes. That little bag contained five pairs of pants, three shirts, a pair of pajamas, a coat, a sweater, and a dress. Heidi said they are just play clothes. Looked like nice stuff to me and Audrie immediately tried a few things on. Nana Nita dropped by when we were looking at the clothes and she really really liked the dress. We are so blessed. Thank you Heidi.

Breathe

Good intentions today.
Shopping with Mom for little girls' birthday presents.
Giggles with the littlest one on the horizon.
Presence in the here and now.
Leftover chicken noodle soup. Yum.
Joy.
Thinking of Doug with love.
Thanking Elizabeth for a picture of a disgusting oreo. :P
Ahimsa.
Serenity Prayer.

Quiet Weekend

We had a pretty nice weekend. Weather was nice. Adrianna stayed the night Friday. She and Audrie only stayed up till 10:30. Then they were up at 6:30 in the morning. They played and played until I took Adrianna home at lunchtime. Then Audrie took a three hour nap.
Audrie and I managed to make it to the grocery store. Made the refrigerator look better. Gave her some more snacks to choose from. One of her favorite games is to stand in the pantry deciding. And standing and deciding. And standing and deciding.
I am guessing that the quiet is about over. Myk gets out of the hilton on Tuesday. We have the threesome birthday party on Sat. and finally are making plans with David for the breakfast we have been tentatively planning since the beginning of September. Then the holidays are right around the corner. Wow.

Whew

I have been texting my friend David for three days trying to set up a breakfast at a local joint. He hasn't responded, which isn't like him. I then resorted to calling. Got one of those funky messages about the person I am calling not accepting calls at this time. My first thought is he got himself a stalker besides me. A real one. I went to his facebook page and he had been on so I sent him like a bazillion messages to call me. He finally did. Gets a new phone tomorrow. Some problem with the one he had. Whew. I was so relieved.
Adrianna invited herself to spend the night. That kind of blew me away. Anyway she is in bed in Audrie's room keeping both of them awake. I'm sure they will soon crash and sleep. Must be on a roll again. We'll have her next weekend and then again in two weeks. Elizabeth too, those weekends.

Heavy

Turned out my purse had about $10 in change in the bottom of it. That accounted for some of the weight. :P

A Day of Firsts

Audrie helped Papa carve her first pumpkin. As you can see the pumpkin is as big as she is. It weighed in at about 100 pounds. She didn't mind getting the goop out of it.

Jodi and I went out for dinner at Tiger Garden. It is a Thai restaurant downtown Vancouver. She's never had Thai and I've never eaten there. We both enjoyed it a lot. From there we went over to the Magenta Theatre and watched a play. It was called "A Talent For Murder". It was funny. Jodi has never been to a play before so she got two new experiences today and a night off from her child. She never gets non-kid time so I thought she would like it. And I wanted to see the play. :P

Another Great Day

Mini had an appointment at Rasmussen again today for another water leak. This one turned out to be a leaking thermostat. So it is now fixed and working fine. I had scheduled the appointment to coincide with my work schedule. So what happens? Bossman sends me home early.
So I went to Walmart and got some things for Audrie's birthday party and some odds and ends. Went to Rasmussen and they gave me a ride to Powell's Bookstore. I took two grocery bags of books with me and they gave me $21 to spend in the store. Ha. I only spent $45. Got Audrie some more books and some more for me. I love Powell's.
Walked back to Rasmussen so got some exercise today. It's all uphill and I had my bag of books to carry. And my purse. I need to find out why it is so dang heavy lately.
Mona called me. It was good to hear her voice. I sure miss her. Still sounds like she won't be back until November sometime.
It was just another great day. I like it and I am grateful for it.

Niceness

I've spent the last two afternoons mowing the neighbor's yard. Thinking, contemplating, relaxing. The weather has been great so I am getting some sun and fresh air. Making a little money. Moving around. It's good. Audrie has been working with Papa. He has been working on tree trimming and trench digging. She rides along with him on the tractor. Fresh air and sun for her also. Nice. It is a couple of days when we are making our lives and Jeannie's life better. Better than sitting around doing nothing. :P

Stolen Saying

Sarah posted on facebook a saying she stole from somewhere else. I just stole it from her.
"If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse."
I like it.

For Today

I am grateful for little girl hugs and kisses.
I am enjoying the sunshine.
I am basking in cat love.
I am grateful for Mom's memory that is for today.
I am grateful for Kristie making plans and taking the time to do it.
I am grateful for Doug's enthusiasm.
I am happy that Elizabeth is appreciative of her new ear piercings.
I am in love with Adrianna's dress and every one else's ohs and ahs when I show the picture around.
I am looking for joy all around me.
I am breathing.
I am.

Glorious Sunday

The sun is shining. Birds are feeding at the feeders and the cats are only watching. We all had a wonderful nap and one of us is still napping. Dave is mowing Jeannie's and I mowed Mom's yards.
Elizabeth said she would show more respect in the future by being honest rather than by being dishonest in the hopes of not hurting feelings. Dishonesty shows so much disrespect and hurts feelings so much more because of that. I hope she remembers. She is pretty smart so she probably will. And I hope she knows that I wouldn't even say anything if I didn't value and respect the relationship I have with her. I want it to always be built on trust and mutual admiration.
Doug is playing handyman. It still amazes me that he learned how to do all these home repairs. I wonder when. I don't remember him being taught and yet he must have at some point. Today is a leaky roof and wind-blown shingles.
It is just a very nice Sunday and I am grateful for it.

Friday Lunches

So lunch on Friday have been curtailed until Mona gets back from Arizona.
Hmmmm. Not feeling the love with this decision. Anyway Fred and Marilyn came back from Missouri and the first thing we did was plan lunch. Yea! It felt so good to get back to it. Unfortunately they have to go back to Missouri for a couple of weeks to close up her condo. And Mona won't be back until after Thanksgiving. Gosh I miss Mona. Maybe I need to call her.

Elizabeth at Catalyst

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Catalyst/168790404264#!/pages/The-Catalyst/168790404264?sk=wall

Elizabeth and I had had a conversation about her ears getting pierced again. She has had them done twice and both times she got pretty bad infections and so they chose to let them close. My point of view is that under twelve just isn't old enough in the first place. She is almost 13. During our conversation I told her about a friend of mine who does piercing and that if it was okay with her mother I would take her. And then I promptly forgot.
Yesterday was Elizabeth day and she had not. She had asked and Tanya's response was yes, but she wasn't paying for it. So we switched gears and went to The Catalyst and talked to Rachel and AJ. Elizabeth got an education in how it works at their shop. They do not use the gun because the gun cannot be sterilized and it very traumatic. So if Elizabeth wanted Rachel to do it it would be done with a needle and she needed Tanya's signature.
Elizabeth said her mom would not come down. I wasn't sure if that was her way of saying I don't want to do this or whether that is what she really expected. I told her all she could do was ask. And we talked about it some more and then she texted. Tanya told her that needles were not sanitary. This lead to the conversation with Rachel about how everything in her shop is sterilized and the needles come sterile and are single use. Like Nana would take her some place not clean. She said she wanted her ears pierced and Tanya agreed to come.
So we walked up to the tea store and got some tea. Just killing time.
Tanya came and signed the paperwork and then left while Elizabeth was getting her ears pierced. Wow. Anyway Elizabeth opted for the hoops because they allow for any swelling that may occur. Elizabeth has a little bit thicker earlobes and most studs won't allow for any swelling. She got the instruction sheet and had it explained to her in detail. We had to pick up some wound wash for her to use instead of the crap they give you at the mall.
I knew she was serious when she still wanted her ears done even with the needle. That also told me that she is really old enough and ready for them. I'm sure she will do a good job of taking care of them. And if they get infected I hope she works through it by putting the rings back in. She got a lot of good advice from Rachel and AJ. Big kudos to them. We go back in four weeks for them to check her piercings. Yes they do it right at the Catalyst.

Slowing Down

Dave is again working his last day at the park before being laid off for the season. He is going back next year for sure. He thinks it will probably be at Paradise Point. Time will tell.
We are trying to decide whether to have Audrie's party at our house or at Rocky's Pizza. We may have extra guests as we invited Treva and brood to come on down.
Nana Nita had to go to jury duty today. That gave me the day off since she is my babysitter. I love a day off in the middle of the week. Audrie and I are just lazing around. Watched some youtube videos. We may go shopping later. :)
My desk is still mostly clean. Same with the house. :P I had an extra hour on Monday so I swept and mopped and vacuumed. Audrie was running errands with Nana Nita. Isn't very often that I do any housework by myself.
We have slowed way down at work. It is the usual lull. We like that also. Get a breather before gearing up for the next rush.
Definitely slowing down and getting into a fall/winter routine.

Magnificent

http://yourkickasslife.com/featured/easier-said-than-done

I've been reading some amazing blogs lately. A confession...I am a random blog reader. So one day I stumbled on Erin Goodman and from there the world opened. I liked this one.

Wow

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma--which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."-Steve Jobs

What a Day

We got up early so Kathy could get to the airport and go home. Had a lovely visit, but I'm sure she was happy to get back to her comfort zone. Said we'll do it again in another decade. Next time I'll go see her.

A Fine Day

Today I did something that almost never happens. I never left the house or deck. I did not get in my car and go anywhere. Instead I stayed home and played with Audrie all day. She was in such a good mood all day long. She woke up singing and just stayed happy. I think she slept really good and her cold is almost done. We got to see the moon tonight. Dang it is almost full again. The last time we saw it was the night before the last full moon. Audrie loved it.
Tomorrow we will be busy. Grammy's house awaits us and we have brunch plans with David and Brendan. We may or may not get to the grocery store. :P

I Am Reminded

Kathy had an anniversary bash she was invited to in Eugene. One of the local DJs does a gig down there and it was the one year anniversary of his show. So he had invited her to come. So we went. It was at a place called Jameson's and it is a bar. So I am reminded that I love the bar. I love the glasses. I love the bottles. I love the bartenders. Everything else on the other side of the bar just doesn't do anything for me. The noise, the smell, the drunks. Maybe it would be different if I was drinking. I can't see any other reason to be there, but duh it's a bar and its business is to sell alcohol. You can't converse in a place with music blasting. You CAN dance and Kathy did. Me, I sat there enjoying watching the four bartenders run their fannies off. Listened to some music with DJs doing that scratchy record thing. Watched the people dance. And I was given a flower. I had a good time with my friend, but I'm sure it will be a long time again before I ever go to a bar and will be again reminded of what I like and what I don't and the reason I don't do bars. I know. I'm probably just old.

She's Here

My friend Kathy arrived from California yesterday. She is so beautiful and it is so good to see her. I am thinking that I am going to have an education in Islam and reggae. We'll catch up on our lives. We'll tell our children's stories and our own. While we are so very different, we are so very the same. My brain will get a workout. :P It is good and I like it.
Oh, and I did get my desk cleaned off. Mostly.

Getting Ready

I spent a good portion of today cleaning. Trying to get the house whipped back into shape and decent for company. Tomorrow Nathan is going to come clean the carpets for me. That means moving all the furniture tomorrow after work. Audrie has a WIC appt. and then he will be here. Hope he can get the stains up. Audrie is a very messy girl with her food. :P The extra benefit is I won't have to clean too much for Audrie's birthday party in a few weeks. Got to like that.

Visit to Come

Kathy and I had a short conversation last week or the week before about being due for a visit. It just kind of stayed there. Today she thanked me for my birthday wishes and then asked about coming up. So we made the plans and she bought the ticket. She will be here on Wed. and stay through Sunday morning. We will spend Thursday evening in Eugene for a shin-ding she has been invited to. I think it is a wonderful birthday present for her and for me. It has been nine years since we have seen each other. We have a friendship that spans miles and time. Maybe that is why we are still friends. :p

Call Me Ms. Fixit

So someone was reading a post I did back in January about family dynamics. And that reminded me....so a year ago I had a friend who needed money for school. She wasn't getting much help from family or so it seemed. So she opted not to go to school and work for a year instead to save money for school. And while that seems like a good plan on the outset....most people who postpone don't go back anytime soon. So the fixer in me really really wanted to help her and fix it. I had the money and almost offered it up. But then I stopped and thought about my own best advice. If I feel the need to fix it..I need to stop and see why I want to fix it. Is it a real need or just my need to fix it? I decided it was just my need to fix it, so I didn't make the offer. And here it is a year later. My friend is not going to school. So I was right about that, but I think had I offered the money...she still wouldn't go to school. So nothing changed and I still have my money. That has to be a good thing. You can call me Ms. Fixit, but sometimes I opt not to. Life is always a learning lesson.